I am interested in going back to school but have been out for four years. I am twenty-five, have a two year old daughter and a three year old niece who lives with us. I am not a single mother, but my partner works hard labor seven out of seven days, has an hour commute to work each day, and his work schedule shifts daily - so a lot of times he is working nights, early morning or afternoon depending, so I don't have any real backup for the girls, with the house or managing finances as he is almost always gone, in transit, too physically tired or sleeping. I do some mama-trades and my Mom watches the girls occasionally but she also works more than full time so she is fairly unavailable as well. We are living pay-check to pay-check and don't have a lot of money for daycare. So, that being said, I want to go back to school (a two year program) but am nervous because I know I won't be able to do homework if I have the children around. Before I had children I was a terrible student...now I really could bring a huge effort and focus. I want to do this for myself and my family (and my pocketbook!). So, I am looking for tips from Mama's who have done it and rocked it. I know it's possible! I just don't know if it's practical for me, now. What have you done that has worked?
Thank you all so much for your input. I really appreciate the caution, tips and encouragement you are offering. I will continue to check for responses because it is helpful to hear from Mom's who are achieving their goals. It sounds as though you are all doing an amazing job conquering obstacles, even though it is difficult. Thanks again for your responses.
The only way I was able to do anything like this was to take my time when everyone was sleeping. In other words, MASSIVE sleep deprivation. My advice to you would be to just wait it out 2 1/2 years and hit it when they start school. Then you can start any program you want and have the time each day to accomplish it. I wish I would have done that, the program I chose took me twice as long to complete anyways.
Good luck!
Hi. I did it. I went back with little ones, no money, and a husband who worked weird hours. You decide what school you want to go to, and call or go to their financial aid office. Take the kids if you have to. You will find out that, especially if you are living paycheck to paycheck, that you will get loans and grant money. That money can be used for living expenses as well as your tuition and books! So...what you can do is put the kids in a preschool/daycare while you attend class, and you can stay at school a bit longer to work on homework, knowing the kids are safe.
You CAN do this...it is not easy. I have been going for my bachelors since January of 2002. I have not missed any semesters, but have gone part-time. My graduation is set for next May. My only suggestion might be to go part-time for your first semester, in order to get back into the swing of it. Good luck to you--you don't have to be superwoman to do this, just determined. All the best!!!
You sound a lot like me. Talk with your financial aid department at the school, for a good low interest student loan. You probably would qualify for grants as well that you don't have to pay back. The student loans would be low enough when you graduate and get a job for you to begin paying back.
Also, remember that day care expenses can be put on your tax return as well.
I even had my boys in a stroller in the counselors office as I was looking at my degree plan!
What I have learned, is that I have a very hard time studying at home with my two toddlers. So, it's best to stay at school after class for an hour or two and do the studying and homework there. Unless it's light homework, then you can usually get some done at home during nap times and such.
Seriously, when are colleges going to offer daycare on campus?!
Think about it though, the next 2 years will be rough with you at school, but it will get better long before it will if you don't! Good luck.
Also, I wonder if you would qualify for food stamps?
Find an online Program
I am currently getting my master's, I'm married and have a 7 year old son and 3 month old daughter. Before starting my master's I was getting my bachelor's so I've been in school for about 6 straight years now. My husband's job is all that supports us now and it is not easy but we make it work. My son goes to school and then a local Boys & Girls Club after school. My daughter is going to a day care center and we recieve help from a local child care subsidy program that will help while I'm in school. Have you looked into subsidy programs in your area. As for homework I get most of it done after the kids are in bed. I would suggest putting your kids to bed early and then doing your homework. It is not easy to do and takes a lot of committment. It also means sacrificing your social life for the most part. There will be many times when you will have to give up fun activities and outings to do school work but it is worth it in the end. I have come a long way and I am proud of it. If you really want to do it you certainly can!!! Remember that challenges only make us stronger. And when things get tough and you feel like quitting just look at your kids and remember why you wanted to do it in the first place and you will find the strength to go on. Good Luck!!!
Ephie, check with your college to see if the provide for on campus daycare. Many community colleges in our area have their own childcare centers and students receive a discount for childcare and you may be eligible for child care subsidies, either through the school or DSHS.
Then make sure that you schedule your classes a way that gives you some time in between. Between class do your homework at the library. If you are not at home and there is nothing else to get sidetracked (doing the dishes, playing children) you will be able to get more home done in a more efficient way.
Also make sure to make use of the schools tutoring center.
My husband just graduated this summer after going back full time for two years, my income only covered our fixed expenses (rent and childcare). We made it work with financial aid and grants - and will even be able to possibly pay back our loans within the next year!
You can do it!
I went online and still am working on my master's online. I let my kids watch a little TV if I need them to so I can get some work done. I'll take the lap top in the backyard and do some work while they play. I'll set them up with a snack for a little bit, or come crayons and paper. Anything they like to keep the busy. If they are sleepy, I'll read to them from my book - works like a charm to get them to sleep. My son was 15 months when I finished my last class (2 years ago) and he would sit on my lap and just play with things while I was typing. Really anything to occupy them. I also gave up my naps on weekends to take advantage of those hours as well. It's hard, but so very worth it in the end! Good luck!
Have you thought about being able to work from home, with just 1or 2 nights a week (3 1/2 hours) out of the house to help with income?
Please let me know if you'd like to talk, I'm with a fantastic company "The Pampered Chef" so I'm able to do just that and have the income we need.
I have 4 children and have a husband who works all kinds of different hours.
I'd be happy to share some information with you.
R. Henry
www.pamperedchef.biz/reaganskitchen
Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the best. With that being said - I'm here to offer support. I am now going back to school (online) and I have a 3 year old son and 21 month old daughter. IT IS A CHALLENGE! But it is totally do-able. I do all my homework and "online" assignments during nap-time and after the kids go to bed. When possible, I read my textbooks while the kids play. It's hard work, and sometimes it means really late nights, but it is possible. If you want to start my opinion is to start slowly - maybe just 1 class to begin with. See how it goes and adjust accordingly. GOOD LUCK!
I found I was a MUCH better student after I had my son, because I *had* to be disciplined. I only had short windows (naps and after bedtime) to do my studying/hw/writing so that's when my work HAD to get done.
I'm pursuing a very loooooooong degree path, and to add to it, I've taken a year off here and there to work. The biggest trick I've found when coming back after a break is to only do ONE class my first quarter back. I also never take a full load. I've tried it, not enough time. So I max out at 2 classes, instead of 3. But that first quarter, just doing one class is the best way to ease myself back in.
Most CC's have onsite daycare. I got unlucky and was on a waitlist for 4 years. The U was soooooo much better, because instead of onsite childcare, they subsidized it instead. Sent my son to the most amaaaaaazing montessori preschool essentially for free courtesy of the U.
I personally *love* being in school. For me it's the best alternative: all the benefits of being a SAHP & WP, and nada the drawbacks (I'd be gone an average of 4-10 hours a week, totally doable as far as arranging childcare, and most of that time the school paid fo ritb. There are also only 2 days every 3 months that one really can't afford to miss when a little on gets sick (midterms & finals). All the rest are negotiable (in my experience, even in prenursing/premed classes), and easily made up. Even labs just require a quick email shot off at the prof.
Another thing, I found for myself, is to avoid night classes. I study at night. Sticking a class in there seriously cut into my self and study time.
Good luck with whatever direction you choose and major kuddos to you for wanting to better yourself, your career and your family life/pocket book! Just a word of caution though I'm sure you've already had plenty. I have a family member who put all her focus on her school when her children were roughly the same ages, and unfortunately they/we had some family issues arrise and she just continued to focus on her school when her children needed her most. Hardest time ever, made my heart break. Children are so impressionable at this young age - they say between 1-5 is when they become the people they will always be. Just make sure that if you don't already have a good solid partner who can take charge of kids while your doing your work then it may be best to wait until they are in school where you wont feel guilty about the time away from them and you can really focus on your school. If you choose to do it sooner, pay attention to those mommy instincts and know if its disrupting your family/children's lives. I know this can be done, but from seeing what happened in my family, and even now there was damage done and you can't reverse everything. Good luck!
I don't have any good suggestions for you, but I'm trying to do the same thing so I'm interested to hear what others say! My girls are 4 and 2, and I really need to finish school to set a good example for them, and to better my family. GOOD LUCK! I'll be rooting for you here in Ohio!!
