Tips on Nursing New Baby in Front of Weaned, but Baba-loving 2 Y/o?

Updated on February 09, 2011
M.B. asks from Milwaukee, WI
17 answers

HI Moms,

I'm still in the hospital after delivering my second daughter and I'm wondering what other moms did to ease the transition for a toddler when they brought their new baby home - especially in relation to nursing. I weaned my now 28month old DD at 25 months and she was a champ, but she still loves my "babas" and remembers them if that makes sense. I'm worried that we're going to have some difficulty when I bring the baby home tomorrow and have to nurse in front of the toddler. Are there any tips anyone has or special activities she can do while I'm nursing? Does having her feed a baby doll while I nurse help? And if you have any other advice on easing the transition and helping my toddler still feel loved, please send it my way :)

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I would just tell her that the baby needs M.'s milk now. Talk about all the yummy foods she can eat and baby can not eat any food yet, only boring milk!! She should get it!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't have a 2nd baby, but after I my son weaned at 2.5 years old, he would occasionally show interest, ask, etc. I told him that they were for little babies, etc. and that he was a big boy and eating food like mommy and daddy. He seemed ok with that. Congrats :)

1 mom found this helpful

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

if she wants to nurse just tell her she has to wait until after baby since she can eat food and baby cant. most likely shell do it a few times and then be done

3 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

My son was weaned at 18 months and his sister was born at 21 months, he asked for some "bee-boos" a couple of times and then was over it. I let him try it out but I think he had forgotten how to get any milk out so he kind of just kissed my boob, giggled and skipped off to play. We made a big deal about how he's a big boy now and gets to eat lots of things that his baby sister doesn't. Now she's 5 months old and constantly reaching for his food and sippy cups and he just pats her on the head and says "when you get bigger, Nora! Go have some bee-boo!" It's so precious.

If you don't want to let her try to nurse once or twice, just make a huge deal about what she CAN eat and drink and get her a big girl cup. I have also heard that them feeding their baby dolls makes them really happy too :)

Congratulations on your new one! Have 2 close together is amazing

2 moms found this helpful

H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

If she has a problem with it, let her nurse too.
I have a 4month old lil girl and a 2/yo son. I was worried about the SAME thing.
Well for one, I don't hide what I'm doing. I told him all about it.
He actually would laugh at it "haha Abi eatin mommys boo-boos"
He now doesn't really pay attention to me feeding her. Only now he "breastfeeds" his stuffed lion that he named "baby Lion" lol

The best thing you can do is make sure you always include Your 2y/o. Explain what you are doing and why. "I have to feed the baby like this, she can't eat other food" or something like that.
Have your "big" girl :) Help change diapers, clean, bathe the baby etc.

Don't try and keep your daughter from the baby. Obviously teach the whole "be gentle, shes little" thing, but Make sure your big girl is apart of the awesome experience of a new baby. Shes a big Sister now, and that's very cool!

2 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

She will ask to nurse, most likely and there is NO HARM in allowing her to. It's a two part test for you. She wants to make sure you 'love' her as much as new baby - because breastfeeding is more than simply nutrition, it's a closeness to Mommy they will not get any other way. Second part of her asking is just to see if you will say yes.

Chances are, after once or twice nursing with baby - she'll stop. If she decides this milk tastes as good as the milk she was having at an older age... she may desire to tandem nurse for a short time. Many MANY Moms tandem nurse, for the benefit of their child's well being... so I hope you will consider it.

www.kellymom.com has info on tandem nursing and I'm sure the local LLL and www.llli.org website does too.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I had to wean my 2 1/2 year old to get pregnant with my baby, so there were a full 9 months there...but he actually transitioned really well. He's old enough now that it doesn't even faze him--he hasn't asked at all! Perhaps the 9 months made the difference, but we told him all the things HE could eat--we even have a book that talks about how big kids can eat all sorts of things, but babies just drink milk, and we echoed that idea. And then said that babies can ONLY eat milk, nothing else! I also agree with the mama, though, who said that if she wants to nurse, let her! I'm not sure why you weaned--I know women have a variety of reasons for choosing it, or perhaps your daughter chose--but there's also no harm in letting her try it, and moving slowly away from it if you feel it's just too much for you. I would also try to snuggle her while you're nursing, and talk about how the baby has to nurse all the time because she's growing so fast, and how your daughter is now the big sister. I guess there can be some harm to overplaying the Big Girl card, but I also know I've seen both my boys be amazed at how little the baby was when they became the older sibling--they both had a lot of pride in being Big, and Older and a Helper, and Not a Baby, and it was easy to play that up without isolating them or making them be too independent before their time.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to make the distinction to your 2 year old that she is the "big girl" and the baby is, well, the baby. Talk about how many things she can do compared to the newborn, what a good helper she can be to you, what a wonderful big sister she will be, etc. If she has already transitioned so well to not nursing, I really don't see any reason she would regress, or why you might want her to (not saying you would!). Just say, Mommy has to nurse the baby now, because that's how babies eat. Maybe she can sit quietly with you and feed her baby doll, as you suggested, or color, or look at picture books, or some other low-key activity. As long as she gets her own Mommy time in, I'm sure the transition will go smoothly. Congratulations on your new little one!

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J.H.

answers from Columbus on

Well, if you feel bad about not nursing her she's going to feel bad about it. If that makes sense. You can do plenty of other things for your child to help her feel loved besides feeding her. She's going to pick up on any anxiety you have about feeding your new baby in front of her. If you treat it as a natural transition she will be much more likely to accept it as such.

My older children always loved to be read to while I was nursing; you may want to try that. Your daughter can color or watch a special show while your nursing. Letting her pretend by taking care of her doll while you nurse is a good idea. Other family members like Daddy, Grandma, Auntie, etc. can also help by giving her plenty of love and attention. Congratulations and good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I had a special bag of "card making materials" I would set my daughter up with when I would nurse. It had paint markers, regular markers, and tons of stickers. We'd also read books.

Now will be the time to reinforce "big girl" talk, you are like mommy and daddy now and only drink out of a cup, for instance.

It will be hard, but hang in there, in a few months you will have a rhythm and she will settle down. ;-)

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P.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Good suggestions so far. I just want to add that when I had my second I read a book to my older child while I nursed the baby. It made him feel included in the special time we had.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Get her a special "Big sister" cup and tell her that the baby gets mommy milk now. :-)
If she says anything then just calmly say nope... Those are for the baby now... you are a big girl with a big sister cup!

1 mom found this helpful

H.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

my daughter got a new doll to bring home from hospital and it was my intention to have her feed her baby while I fed mine. But turns out she would rather play with anything but a doll. My life saver was to have my mother stay a month with us and my daughter was thrilled to have her Grandma and didn't take much notice of me and baby.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

make sure you have a special sippy cup for your toddler. And when your nursing the baby and the toddler wants a drink give it the sippy. remind her that baba's are for babies.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Miami on

I was in a similar situation. My oldest daughter weened herself at 18 months and I had my second when she was 25 months. Though she didn't remember nursing we talked about it a lot and when the baby came home she did want to try nursing.

If you're okay with it let her nurse (I would suggest after the baby is done with a feed). I was undecided at to whether I wanted to or not so when she asked I told her I would get her her "big girl" milk when I was done with the baby and she would leave it alone. She only asked a few times.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

just do it. the more important question is whether or not you would allow her to nurse too. what would be wrong with it? it would give her the acceptance that she needs, and connection. it lets her know that though the baby is a priority, she isnt going to be left out either.
if you've already decided on that, thats fine too.

get her a leapfrog tag. those things are so cute, and so interesting. make it somethign she only does while you are nursing. so its a special activity. :) or anything like that. just get her something new that she will only use during nursing times. :)

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B.R.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi! I weaned my oldest at 16 mos and my youngest was born when he was 23 mos. I thought it would be hard for him, but it was no big deal. He expressed interest in nursing a couple of times, and I let him give it try; but honestly, he was more after attention than nursing. There's a big difference between 16 mos and 25, though, so you daughter might remember nursing more than my son did!

He loved reading books while I nursed the baby. I also picked one time a day that he could watch a tv show while I nursed, which was really exciting to him!

I tried to keep a basket of "special" toys ready that were more likely to keep him busy while I nursed. He didn't have doll at the time, but he babied a stuffed lion:)

It worked nicely to time nursings while my toddler was eating, too. That kept him occupied, got him fed, and kept him in one place!

Good luck! Congrats on the new baby!

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