Tired of Looking like a Frumpy Mom!

Updated on May 01, 2008
L.M. asks from Watertown, MA
24 answers

Does anyone have any tips on coloring gray hair?

I have very dark brown hair, and color it myself as I cannot afford a salon (being a SAHM with no extra money)!

Problem being is that the color always washes out and my gray grows in so fast - it drives me crazy. It is the one beauty thing that I refuse to let go of! (my nails and eyebrows are for another day....sigh....)

I am looking for a better solution.

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

I second Sara's suggestion of trying henna. I've used it for 2 years and LOVE it. I have medium brown hair color and use the medium/chestnut color and it works great. It gives me slightly red highlights and I get lots of compliments. I started going grey early (19), too. I use coffee to mix it up instead of plain hot water, since that will stick the color to the grey hair better.

Good luck!
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Hartford on

L.-
I have the same problem! I have medium-brown hair, thick and it grows very fast. I'm coloring my hair at home every 3-4 weeks! (I can't afford to get it done at the salon, either.)I buy the special shampoos for colored hair but within 3-4 weeks I have about a 1/2 inch of grey showing!
What I do is always use the same shade and just do my roots every 3-4 weeks. If anyone else knows of any tips, I'd love to hear it.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.S.

answers from Providence on

Hey L.,

try henna. It's natural, chemical free, naturally blends into your own hair, great for covering grey, and it is CHEAP. If you have really long hair, as I do, I recommend going to rainbow henna online and buy a kilo of henna. You can get a variety of colors from neutral to browns to shockingly red. I love basic henna red on my auburn hair. brightens it up a bit. Can be a bit messy to work with, but will not ruin your sink, tub, whatever. Wear grubby clothes, though. I do it on a nice day when I can sit in the sun. Showercap, lg bowl, gloves, towels and hot water is really all you need. Good Luck. Send me a private message if you want to talk about this method more. I've sworn by it for over 15 years. It is REALLY good for your hair! AND it gently, gradually washes out over two to three months. No roots. Re coloring is never an issue.
Best,
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Boston on

As a license cosmotologist I say don't let the hair go gray. Because your grays come in so early you may have to get or do your roots every 4 weeks. If you will be doing it yourself make sure you buy a brand that states for gray coverage! Along with that always buy a shade darker than you want because gray takes color differently. Also for the times that your grays are starting to come in (but just not the time to color...) you can buy inexpensive color sticks that you apply to your peek-a-boo grays when your hair is damp. Which washes away so it's not something that is over damaging or over processing. Oh and one more thing. Leave your color in for 40 minutes on roots. Don't color your hair all over if not needed. For extra shine for your ends spray some water to your ends and lather in the rest of the color for the last 5 min. I hope this is some good advise. I check into this site everyday so feel free to fill me in on your coloring! Good luck!

I'm a mom of a 8 yr old beautiful girl!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.P.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.
I am a hairstylist. I specialize in hair color. For the best results, use a permenant color. Put it on your roots first, particularly around the hairline and in front of the ears. That section is always grayest on everybody and hardest to color. Then section your hair with the bottle in thin sections and apply the color ONLY to your roots. If you put it all over all of your hair from the beginning then the longest part of the hair will get progressivly darker because it's been applied two or three times already compared to the one time on your roots. After 1/2 hour then you can put the remainder of the color on the rest of your hair for 10 minutes. That should help with fadage. The most important thing is to leave it on your roots longer. Grey hair is stubborn and the box colors in the store are not as strong as the color we use in the salon. Also, in the salon we can use different strengths of developer which makes the color stay longer. If you have any more questions you can contact me.
Good luck. S.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.H.

answers from Boston on

L.
I have both successfully AND unsuccessfully colored my own hair. How long it stays depends on the color- permanent semi-perm. etc. Read the bottle and buy one thats more permanent if you like the color-it'll say which it is and how long it'll last.. Maybe GOOGLE up coloring your hair at home for tips? Thats how I find out everything @ here :) . Then just keep some on hand to do the roots, just keep an extra plastic bottle on hand to use some of the color at a time. My mother used to always color her roots in the bathroom with Clairol even when she went to a salon. If she was alive Id ask her for you ! What you really need is a buddy who does hair. I wish I did ! Good luck :) R.

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J.A.

answers from Providence on

If you have acess to a Sally beauty supply close by they have a great line of semi-permenant hair color that last a little longer and it is better quaility than the store bought stuff. The staff is very helpful and will be able to Point you in the right direction. I am a hairdresser but without seeing your hair or what you are trying to achieve it is the best advice I can give.

Just so you know, you do NOT need a hair dressing license to buy their color.

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P.B.

answers from Burlington on

Hi L.:

I too have dark brown hair with very stubborn grey. It seems to help if I leave the color on for at least an hour or more!
I have to touch mine up every 3 weeks which is a real pain.
Ah the price of beauty!
Good luck! Patty M.

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M.B.

answers from New London on

Ugh, I feel your pain! I have had really good luck with the Nice and Easy products--there is one (I can't remember the precise name) that is supposed to give 3 natural highlights and it is very good. I use that and then their root touch up between colorings and have had good luck. I did also try their coloring for really gray hair and it was too harsh...Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I sympathize - pregnancy can do a job on the hair! Semi-permanent color does wash out quickly. First of all, don't wash your hair for 48 hours after coloring. Let the cuticle of the hair shaft close down. Use shampoo meant for chemically treated hair - I would go to a salon to buy a professional product for this. You can wet your hair, but don't use shampoo for 48 hours. If you can shampoo every other day (wetting in between), that helps. In between colorings, try to use as little hot water as possible - that really washes it out. I know a hot shower feels great, but try to minimize the amount of time your hair is feeling the heat! Whatever products you use, try to use all in the same line - for example, have your shampoo and conditioner from the same company. It doesn't matter so much which one, but just use products that are made to complement each other so there is some sort of chemical balance.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Providence on

Hi, I started to go gray at 16 and colored my hair until I was 26. I hated the roots and the color would lighten and end up on the red side before new color was due. That made me look more frumpy than the gray hair. I let it grow out and took more time with a good hair cut and body perms. I got alot of compelments on my hair. That was 30 years ago, I'm now all white and still get many complements. I believe if you have self confidence enough about being proud of your gray hair style you can pull it off. Bonus: you will save a ton of money, when I hear what my friend pay to have thier hair done, some hundreds of dollars, I'm loving my choice more and more. Give it a try.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.G.

answers from Barnstable on

When coloring your hair.... color the gray on the sides and bangs first! Leave it on the grey longer as it is more coarse and takes longer to absorb the color.... its stubborn! Also use permanent color. Semi permanent color will fade way too fast.

For your eyebrows they make a cold wax found at your local beauty store.... this way you wont have to worry about the heat and wont have to pluck often.

Your nails.... keep em short and save that for something special you treat yourself to!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

I was also prematurely gray (starting in my teens) and have been coloring for years. I initially started with henna's when I only had a few gray's and gradually worked my way up to the permanent peroxide dyes as I became more gray, so I have a lot of experience. I used to have my hair professionally colored and cut about every month as my hair grows quite fast and the majority of my gray is concentrated at the roots at the crown. I experienced a similar problem with the resistant grays fading to an unattractive orangey color.

After I had children it became more difficult to get to the salon reguarly and the expense became more of an issue so started to use over the counter products.

If you have no allergy to these products, I find the L'Oreal line very good. I used the "preference" or "excellence" product with very good results. If you want to tone down the reds or oranges choose an "ash" tone. Also leave it on for 45 minutes for the best coverage. Good Luck!

J. L.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi I am a 54 yr old mom w/a 10 yr old and have totally gray hair which I color. When I had the money I went to a salon and had it died brown first then blond streaks. This cost me over $300 each time and grew out in 3 weeks with what looked like a gray cap under it . (the gray under also was see thru which made it appear that my hair was thinning.)
Now...I don't have the same $$ and my girlfriend does my hair with drugstore products. What she does (and she is not a hairdresser) is streak it brown (lots on the bottom and then strak it blond. The more variartion in colors you can use different color browns too with highlights-(that are close) the better. Then when it grows out it grows out looking natural (no lines- because there are still some gray pieces too.
I hope this helps you -it SAVED me from feeling frumpy and washed out!
S

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

im 28 and my grays started really earlier too, im lucky though because if I dont work in a salon, my bff does hair! however, if you do buy store brand, remember you get what you pay for, always buy 2 boxes, and for gray hair you will need PERMANENT color, temporary wont color it completely and rinses out quick. buy the closest you can get to your color, but also remember that store brand color seems to almost always come out 1 to 2 shades darker than what it says. Also, shop around, some salons may not charge much more than what youll pay for 2 boxes of color anyways, itll be better quality and youll get a 2 hour break every 4 to 6 weeks! good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Bangor on

I use Loreal Excellence (I think it's called). I know it is a Loreal product maybe it is preference? Definitely look for the 100% gray coverage and permanent color on the box. It comes in a box that had pink on it and has a comb applicator that you can use for easy coverage. I love it!

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E.T.

answers from Boston on

I feel your pain.
I too am prematurely gray (thanks to my mom) and have been coloring my hair myself for the same reasons. I found using a permanent color and washing daily with a shampoo designed for color hair helps.

Also, I have my husband get me gift certificates to the salon for presents (Mothers Day, birthday, etc) so we can feel pampered from time to time.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Boston on

I use Clariol Natural Insticts hair dye. It washes out (not permendant) which I like because it doesn't leave the dramatic gray roots. My original color is a dark mousey brown and the color I use is called ciniaberry which makes it a little auburn.
-S.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from New London on

HI I feel the same way about coloring my hair. It is one thing that I have to do. I have been going to a salon, but it isn't too expensive where I go. I have light brown hair, darker in the back, and I also use a henna shampoo. that seems to lighten my hair in between getting my hair colored. I also use a shampoo that is supposed to retain the color longer. This helps a little bit too. Another thing I do, that I would never have done when I was younger is not wash my hair as frequently. I wash it every other day and sometimes every 3 days. My friend who works at a hair salon suggested this. I have heard about another product that you can sort of pencil on to your hair at the roots. This is supposed to help in between coloring. I don't know the name of it though. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

I too don't want to look like a frumpy mom. I gave up trying to color the whole head, it was too much. I decided that since I was going gray, which is lighter than the brown, I would highlight my hair. The gray blends in much better with the lighter highlights and I don't have to do it all the time. I get a Loreal package of highlights and just keep doing the same areas when I do touch up. I think it is a more natural looking way to "ease" into it.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Hartford on

Hi L.,
I feel your pain. I am 27 years old, and have grays!! I've always died my hair a variety of colors (nothing too funky- just a lot of highlights). But my hair is also brown. Now that I am pregnant, I haven't died my hair at all, and I'm curious to see just how many gray I can get without dying it! Anyhow, I am fortunate to have a cousin in the hair business to do my hair for me. Do you have a friend or family member that could help you out. I suggest going a little lighter or just adding lighter highlights to your natural hair- they do make the box kind to do it yourself though I've never tried it. Also, how long it your hair? You might consider going a little shorter if it's long and doing some layering in the front and sides. I myself am also a beauty consultant with Mary Kay and I find that makeup with natural techniques and blending skills (we don't like the clown look) help me to feel good about myself also. Good luck. I wish you weren't so far from me, I'd come and give you a free makeover!! :)

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J.M.

answers from Springfield on

Hi, Save up a dollar a day for the professional treatment you want(put it in a special box by the mirror!) and feel the pampering you so richly deserve! Think of the other daily things you do where you can cut costs. JM

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A.W.

answers from Boston on

Buy John Freida Glosser in the Dark Brown .. It's $9.99 but it helps during those "in-between" colorings. I know because I'm there! I hate to say it, I was told by the girl that just colored & foiled my hair that women like us who have dark hair that is greying sometimes have to come back every two weeks!! OH MY! I did have them use a Chocolate Truffle Color then added a partial foil for the summer to help blend in the grey. I know it stinks! But I had to give in to paying for it because I can't keep up and I was distroying my hair!

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N.G.

answers from Boston on

Hey, L.!
Try Nutrisse haircolor- it covers grey WELL ~ I've got a LOT.Easy to apply, too.
Do your whole head the first time, then just the roots afterward.Doesn't smell horrible, and conditions your hair nicely.Also, the company includes coupons in local papers, so watch for them and get dollars off, too!
Good luck!
~Not a Grey Grannie

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