'tMajor Homework Project Crisis

There is a program called cosmeo.com It's 9.95 per month. They have 30,000 learning videos. My daughter likes their writing videos. Whenever I find her work getting too sloppy, I make her watch them. I'm pretty lax about things in her homeschooling. Mine is 11. I need to step it up too :)

I would sit down with her and discuss what she wants to say. What is the thesis of her paper? What are the supporting points? Help her put together an outline. Nobody just knows how to put is all together. That is what she is supposed to be learning. The GOAL is for her to learn to think and write. I see no shame in helping her achieve this goal. Who really cares what the grade is? I also would not just assume writing is not her thing. How awful to have something that important written off for you when you are just 12.

I would start from scratch. Have her sit down and brainstorm areas/topics she wants to talk and point out. Use the notes and work on a rough draft. Help her maybe with the editing....and see how it goes from there.

Good luck! Hope she gets it done in time! Writing just may not be her thing....

Hurts just to read about the situation. Here's my two cents.

Forget about "the paper" for a moment. Have your daughter talk about her paper's topic with you as a conversation, perhaps over dinner. "So your paper is about the Great Wall of China. What a fascinating topic. What have you found out about it?" Can she articulate her ideas? For some kids, talking first helps with the writing. This will also alert you to what may be missing in the research. This may also make your dd aware of what she is missing.

With that conversation started, now talk about her progress on the paper. "What do you think needs the most attention now?" Let her take ownership of the paper by informing you of her understanding of the process. Ask her what steps she has taken, and if she cannot remember, then ask about the instructions. "I remember my days writing papers. I always found the directly quoted passages tough. What are you finding difficult?" With all of these questions about the process, hope that she asks you to review her paper with her. This is your goal. You want her to invite you because she feels you have something to offer.

Say, "Oh, let me hear it. Read it to me!" This gets her to read it aloud. This step usually results in students noticing some of their mistakes. What they don't notice, they do not know is a mistake.

"Did you get an example as a guide for the assignment, honey?" If so, review it. "Do you think comparing your paper to this example would help?" Assist her with the step. See if she gets lightbulbs over her head as to what to fix.

This should be the point where she realizes that she has a lot of rewriting to do. "Did you know that when I write something, I typically take at least two drafts, if not more, to get what I want to say just right?" Focus on the paper as something to inform or explain to another person, rather than a paper to write. Think audience.

"Honey, Ms. Glass probably has a lot of good ideas to share. I can pick you up late after school tomorrow if she can meet with you." I'd have her approach the teacher tomorrow and ask for an after school appointment for advice and support (or have her send an email tonight). Without your daughter's knowledge, I'd also email the teacher to tell him or her that you urged your daughter to talk to the teacher because you are teaching her to be self responsible, but given the late date and DDs age, you are ensuring that there is follow through. Many kids are timid about approaching their teachers.

Any teacher with an eye on the overall goal will prefer to take a late paper done correctly than a paper on time but in horrible condition. The idea of bringing the paper in its current condition to the after school meeting is a good one. I tell my students to bring their "horrible first draft" as a starting basis for improvement.

If she lets you review the paper and give her advice, do the following:

Make sure she has a viable thesis. Does this history paper have an opinion thesis? Find out.

Did the teacher start with the students identifying questions they wanted to research? Writing a good question to research is the most important tool to learn. This provides focus and allows students to determine whether the information fits their vision for a paper or not.

Many students just copy everything on the topic they see without understanding what the information says or whether when in one paper the information will relate. This is a habit that needs to be stamped out in one's early years. It leads to plagiarism, unwittingly or not.

The creation of sub questions should be able to result in paragraph topic sentences.

I hope this works out for you and your daughter.

I am an English professor and I spend a great deal of my time dealing with issues like this. I think it is a good idea to talk with the teacher. If your daughter has truly dropped the ball and not done the work as it was supposed to be done, it may be that she will not be able to finish and pass the assignment. However, if she has been struggling (which seems to be the case) then talking with her teacher may help. At least the two of you can try to work together to help her.

As far as the writing part goes, have her work on creating an outline. (I would imagine that her teacher had already assigned this?) One thing I teach my struggling students is to create subject piles from the note cards and to place them around the room (floor is fine). Then have your daughter "talk through" the paper while walking to the pile of note cards. If the order seems to make sense, pick up the pile and as you go, add cards to the bottom of the pile. That way at least you will have a rough order for the essay. Then you can create an outline to help guide the actual writing process. Also, have her write the main idea on a card and have that card in a place that she can see while writing....this will help her stay focused. Finally, if she can't seem to get started, have her skip the opening paragraph and instead have her write in "chunks" that she can then combine into a paper.

Hope this helps.

In college, in the writing lab, someone will sit with your and go paragraph by paragraph. One learns to write papers well, by actually being coached through writing a few good papers in a row.

One can also turn in a paper early, and the professor will do MAJOR editing of it. Red pen everywhere. Then you take the paper practically dripping red ink, and rewrite it to the professors specifications.

But in elementary/ middleschool either of these are considered cheating or "helicopter parenting" and it should be 100% the child's bumbling efforts with no guidance.

I've never quite understood that.

She has a rough draft? How rough? Can she start with that and just continue editing (the wonders of word processors)?

If she doesn't have a draft that will work as a starting point, here is a method I used with my stepdaughter that allowed her to write a paper in one night.

Help her divide her note cards into a reasonably small number of topic areas, into piles. Arrange these piles (topic areas) in a logical order. Then physically lay out the cards in columns, one column for each topic area, on the floor or big table.

If she starts with the first topic area, covers all her note cards, then moves to the second area and does the same, and so on, she will have the body of her paper. Next, she'll need an introduction, and then a summary/conclusions section. Done.

Next, I would say that I would be concerned that her teacher did not successfully teach the process of paper writing. But then, my stepdaughter was much older than 12, and she was "stuck" at this stage of the writing process also. She used this method for several papers after this first one. Instead of note cards, she began using Post-it notes so that she could arrange them on her wall.

My SD's father thought I should stay out of this when this "emergency" happened. I think it is much better to teach a process/method and assist, so that they've learned something from this experience other than failure.

Good luck!

Two thoughts:
1. You did not mention an outline. If she hasn't created one yet, help her create an outline, then write each outline heading on a piece of paper, lay it out on the floor. Then take all the notes, turn them into 1 thought / note (just cut up pieces of paper, if necessary) and arrange the notes underneath the outline section where it belongs. In other words, lay out the paper visually. She might need some help with the outline though, I am not sure how much they **teach** these skills. (I hope they do, and don't just tell kids to go write a research paper.)
2. If you can think of and find a SAMPLE research paper, I think it can be tremendously helpful to take that as a guide for the structural elements that should be in her paper too. So, for example, you point to the introduction, and say, "OK, here is the introduction, see what they are doing here... telling the reader what the paper is about... etc. Now how can we insert YOUR writing here?" I hope this makes sense. It's like the "skeleton" of every research paper is the same, but the "clothing" varies. If she can see the "skeleton" it can help her organize her thoughts and all the info she has collected.
It really seems to me that she is just having trouble putting it all together, and she needs a roadmap to follow (outline, or skeleton).

Eek. I feel your pain. I wonder sometimes if the language arts classes teach research papers step by step like they used to..... My son is in 8th, and really has never HAD to do a true research paper yet.
I remember learning in about 6th grade, and it was checked step by step.
1) Discuss overview of doing the paper. Told to pick subject and turn it in for approval.
2) When approved thesis, go to library as a class to begin researching/taking notes. Turn in notecards for grade (review by teacher to see that they are being done properly)... and the teacher was wandering around checking out our work while we were in the library doing it, too.
3) Make an outline using notecards. Turn in outline for a grade.
4) Rough draft, using outline & notecards.
5) Final draft, typed, double spaced, with appropriate works cited page at the end (specific instructions were given for this also).

Today----I don't think the teachers have that kind of classroom time to devote to so much personal follow-through. And makes it difficult for the kids to understand HOW the process works. Heck. I did several research papers in middle/junior high... and it wasn't until my junior or senior year that I stopped writing the paper out of my head and putting the notecards in order AFTER writing the paper.... Because I just didn't GET it.

Can you have her pull out all her notecards and help her sort through them, making little piles/stacks of like information? That is what we were told to do. Then, you pick piles and decide what fits together as paragraphs, or what order to make them explain the topic best. Then you pretty much have the paper, right there.

Good luck.

With my kids, I always had them start with an outline.
Then a rough draft while keeping track of their sources of information.

Then, a revised rough draft in which to correct any spelling errors or grammar errors and make any additions.

I'm old school, and I may seem like a mean mom, but I made my kids do all of the above written by hand.
Then, and only then, did I allow them to type their papers on the computer in a presentable fashion. PLUS I made them also turn in all their notes and handwritten rough drafts.
They got extra credit every time because it proved the process they went through. They basically did double the work to an extent and it showed.

There might not not be a lot she can do to make up for waiting this long.
My kids tried springing a huge project last minute and I was like, "You've known about this for two weeks. Waiting til the last couple of days will sink you every time. I didn't save them when that happened. Proscrastination was proved in the final product. And the grade.

So....they followed my formula.
Amazingly, at least for my kids, actually writing things down helped them retain the information and when it came to typing it up...that was the easy part. Great projects don't just flow from your fingertips on a keyboard.

Writing it down, making corrections, moving things here and there, editing. It seems like a second step and it is. My son is a junior in high school and I still make him do it that way. He turns in the finished product along with all his notes with changes, corrections, etc. His teachers love it. It's all in his own writing, it's his own work, his own words. He perfects it on paper first and he gets extra credit every time for turning all that in.

I don't know if there's time for it to help now, but I would really start making her do all her notes and drafts and everything by hand. Get it all on paper first. Then show it to you. All these hours on the laptop aren't getting her anywhere. Give her a paper and some pencils and have her do it the old fashioned way until it's ready to be typed.

It's worth a try. It worked with my kids. They were more successful that way.
The only time I let them use the computer was for additional reference material that they couldn't find in books and when the project was finished and ready for it's final form.

I found that my kids just typed a bunch of scattered nonsense if they didn't write it all down first.

This is just my opinion and what worked for my kids.
I don't see why you need to tread lightly. I'm a single working mother who raised two kids myself and my daughter was strong willed, but also incredibly intelligent. If she didn't want my advice about how to go about her projects then she could take the grade she earned. Which was an F a couple of times. Then.....she thought maybe mom knew what she was talking about.
If a kid doesn't get a project finished, there is one result. If a kid does it half way, there is one result.
There doesn't need to be tears or a battle, just a method.
Hand written in the first place.

Then the typed finished product.

Just my opinion.

Best wishes.

Sit down and do the paper with her. Even if it feels like you're writing it for her. Remember, this is new for her. Just like learning to swim, bike, or ski, she will need support until she can do it on her own. She WILL learn this way if you have to start doing this every time she has a paper, for this year, at least. Sounds like she's overwhelmed. If you go through the process with her a few times, she will gain confidence and a sense of the writing process. It sounds like you know what elements are needed for the assignment. For now, focus on helping her get it done on time.

After you get it in, then it's time to consider what the next steps will be.
Schools these days do not teach kids how to write a paper anymore. You may in the future have to purchase curriculum on your own and tutor her yourself. Or, consider putting her in Sylvan or something similar. Hopefully in time, she'll gain the confidence and skills to put together papers on her own. Don't dwell on the fact that she's 12 (and in 6th or 7th grade?) and the school has these expectations. Just because there is this expectation, doesn't mean that she was properly prepared or taught *how* to write a paper like this. Many processes are at play. If the school didn't have an adequate writing or language arts program that incorporated writing early on, there is no way an assignment like this will come easily.

Kids should be introduced to writing as early as 1st grade, and gradually each year, introduced to new concepts. And if the expectation is to write a complete paper in 6th/7th grade, they should be exposed to library research skills, how to outline, make attributions, do citations and footnotes, etc. by the 3rd or 4th grade.

Consider how your daughter was taught. If she had a good writing curriculm in school, but still struggles after much preparation and direction, then you may need to consider that perhaps a learning disability may be a play.

If she does have an actual learning disability, such as dysgraphia which is in the family of sensory processing disorders like dyslexia (some very smart people can not get their thoughts on paper because of a visual or physical/motor skills glitch) there are therapies that can help and specialists who can test her to determine if this is the cause of her problem.

For more information on writing disabilities (which sadly go undiagnosed for a very long time) check out www.diannecraft.org

I am so sorry the two of you are going through this! It may be too late to to completely save this project but I had an idea. If the point is for her to learn how to do this, could she approach the teacher and tell him/her what is going on and that she's not getting it? He/she might know of resources or help she can get in this area. Look to see if there are writing tutors and courses she can take outside of school.

Hang in there! I had to go through this in College because for some reason we never did anything like that in High School. It was unbelievably stressful at that point.

If your kid was always an A student, that probably means her teachers have been too easy on her all this time. A is for exceptional. C is average. Most kids are average (that's what "average" means!)

I was an A student myself--and it didn't do me any favors when reality struck later. Everyone has to suffer through a skill or topic that doesn't come easily to them. Everyone needs to get a D or C at some point. Failing to do "perfectly" is an important experience for every kid.

Please do NOT make a big deal out this in front of your daughter. Tell her teacher what you told us. Teachers are very smart. Her teacher will likely tell you how to break it down for her, complete with organizational skills.

Be there for your daughter if she gets sad, but the parent's job is to tell your kid to buck up. I'm sure she's a smart kid and can figure this out.

She's in 6th grade and starting middle school can be very difficult and trying for her. Please remember that. The writing is unlike anything she has ever done before. I teach this stuff, and we spend months teaching summary, which she needs to understand in order to do the paper. If you want to help her show her this model.

Its called the BIG V because it is V shaped. ..

Write a V on a piece of notebook paper, about 4 lines down. Go from Margin to Margin, so its a big section. Then repeat this from the bottom up about 4 lines. Then draw a line in the middle of the page down connecting the two Vs.

In the middle of the Vs write the big Idea...what the paper is about. On the left side between the Vs, write 3 important points spaced out vertically. On the right of the half dividing line it write 3 details for each one. These will be the Intro, 3 body paragraphs, and the conclusion. This is a visual way to see it. Good luck!!

Maybe sit down with her and all her research thus far and help her build an outline? You could help teach her how to divide her notes up into what she wants to cover and in what paragraphs things should go? That way she will have a good outline and a place to start?

This is a tough one because you do not want to be doing her homework for her but if you can clearly tell she is having trouble getting started actually writing it I think the help with setting up the outline would help A LOT!

Good Luck!

I say do not save her.
She needs to earn her grade and know mom is not going to save her.

Then let her know she is old enough to do these things on her own. You do not mind helping her edit, but you are not going to sit and hold her hand and you certainly are not going to do her homework.

MOM, this is a safe time for her to get bad grades. This is not high school yet and she needs to see that this work and her grades are totally hers.. Suck it up and allow her to fail if she is not willing to do the work.
I KNOW THIS IS HARD. But it is what she needs.

Quit making excuses and get her to figure out what she needs to do to get writing and English done.. She should have asked in the beginning for your help.. and I mean very specific requests. "Mom I need to go to the library and I need help finding this subject."

"Mom I am writing my paper, can you help me check it for spelling, for grammar?"

"I need help deciding how to decide which parts need to be expounded on.. "

In high school if she takes accelerated classes, this papers will be due and expected ALL of the time.. By that time it may be too late for you to not have set the tome for what is expected of her.

Has she done an outline? I always had an easy time writing from an outline. Basically, step by step of what she wants to talk about, bullet points for each paragraph, also which notes/quotes support those points, spelling and grammar don't matter. From that, a paper basically writes itself.

Some good advice in here I am may have to try. She sounds much like my son. We struggle and struggle with writing. Good luck, have no advice because we have not found a solution yet.

The writing process is not clicking with her. She needs you to start from the beginning and do each step with her so she can see how the process flows. A research paper is much different than something like a reflective essay, so the mechanics of it need to be spelled out to her if she didn't "get it" in class. Sometimes teachers assign things like this, but fail to realize the students do not know things the way a seasoned writer does, and he or she assumes the child knows how to (......) when in fact (.....) is like greek to her. Once you go through this process with her, the next one should be easier. If not, then you cross that bridge if you come to it.

I, on the other hand, do not think that 1500-2500 words (6-10 page) paper for a 12 year old in the 6th or 7th grade is too much. If given an adequate time frame to do research and get everything put together, she should have no problem with getting a paper in order. My guess is that she became overwhelmed with such a large task and ran out of time to allow for the writing and proofing of the paper.

And that, perhaps, might be a failure on the part of the teacher in properly going through the motions and showing the students exactly how to work through the steps necessary for putting together said paper.

My daughter is 11 years old and in the 6th grade. I have watched her as she puts together her projects. While this 12 year old is actually doing a bonafide history research paper, my daughter has also been using some of the same skills in putting together her own papers. In fact, she had to write a short story for her Writing class, one she made up on her own. She wrote it up in longhand, then typed it on the computer. I realized right away that the teacher never went through fiction writing with the students, because my daughter had no clue as to how to format her paper.

Lucky for her, mom is a freelance editor. ;) I sat down with her and showed her what needed to be done, which sentences were paragraphs, what POV (point of view) was, how to punctuate, how tag lines needed to be differentiated and/or didn't need to be used at all, what a scene and a sequel was and how there needed to be breaks between them. But by and by, she wrote that 9- page short story herself AND learned how to put the paper together (she told me her teacher had never gone through any of the stuff I was showing her in class. I believe her). And then she felt bad because all the other kids were giving her a hard time for writing such a long paper!

If your daughter doesn't learn now, she won't know how to do these projects--and longer ones--in high school. Egads, what about when she gets to college? There will be no one there holding her hand.

Your best bet is to closely watch and follow your daughter's big homework projects and subtly check to see what progress she is making and gently ask if she'd like you to periodically check in and see how she's doing. Notice I didn't say do the work; I said to watch, monitor, and help teach her.

Kids are finding homework "hard to do" these days because they would rather be on the computer, watching TV, playing on their Smartphones, or hanging on the phone or at the mall with their friends. Anything other than doing homework. None of that, though, is going to get the school work done.

While these "big" papers look scary, breaking down the components of them together will help her feel better about doing them and she won't feel so overwhelmed. Then when she gets to write a 20-50 page paper in high school or college (I had to write a 20-page paper in high school), it won't feel so intimidating (even though it still will!) because she will have learned how to pace and manage herself to get it done.

I would say it's time for some tutoring or possible learning disability testing. My niece had to go through the Sylvan program for writing. She was straight A otherwise. It really helped because they did some evaluations and found her learning style in writing.

She also needs to have the consequences of her actions. If she really was working hard then it is obvious something is off. She may even have a visual issue. If she was just working but not really applying herself then getting a poor grade in her class would be the proper results.

Yep middle school can be a big adjustment for kids. It doesn't hurt to look into the Sylvan learning type centers to help 1-1 attention to get her off to a great start. We all have a challenging subject here and there and sometimes we all need an extra boost. Don't get upset and just get her some help. :)

I'm guessing her class been instructed on HOW to write a major paper/report? (My nephew is 10 and in 5th grade and they have.) I would let her finish it as is and if she gets a low grade schedule an appointment with you, her and her teacher to discuss your daughter's problem with writing. Possibly she needs to be tested for a learning disability, or simply taught the right skills and how to organize it all. She will benefit no matter what the solution is.

Every child excels in some areas and are weak in others, no matter what intelligence level they are at, so there's no shame in getting her the help she needs to succeed.

It is too late to do anything about past grades or much about this paper, so let her turn in what she scrapes up and get another C-D-F. Go ahead and let it be a disaster. (I know, it freaks me out too.) You'll avoid the battle this time, but you need to prepare yourself to wage the war.

Because you know she has a poor history with written things, you need to start checking her work. Don't assume anything - you need to see those notecards and rought drafts and source materials. Every half-hour, look at her progress when she is on the computer. Chances are for 5 of those 6 hours, she was either doing something unrelated to homework or simply sitting and locked in a brain freeze.

I don't get the impression from your post that she doesn't care or is a problem child. I think she simply needs guidance. If she doesn't understand how to do properly a project like this, then you'll need to teach her because she isn't learning it at school. Don't do the work for her, but do show her how to progress through the steps. This is going to be a very time intensive and difficult period for both of you.

Since your relationship is touchy, try really hard to bring no emotion into it. It won't always work, but give it your best shot.

Okay, I know that doesn't help you much, but am I the only one who feels that 1,500-2,500 words is a bit excessive for a 12 year old? That's a 7 page report if she's using 12pt font, double spaced. I guess I would talk to the teacher about it. It seems like a lot to expect of a middle school student.

J.