Ok, this is way tmi and sorry if this is inappropriate. I had my first child 3yrs ago. When I was pregnant I gained a whopping 100lbs. Yep, 100lbs(that's another story) I lost 50 and a yr late became pregnant for the 2nd time. I lost all of the weight I gained from 2nd baby. I still have about 50lbs to be back at my normal weight. But, here is the thing, my va jay jay just isn't the same. I have been able to tell since having my first that my vagina didn't feel as tight. And today, I bought a magnifying mirror so I could see my eye brows when plucking them. For what ever reason, I looked at my vagina in it. I guess curiosity got the best of me. Anyway, I am mortified by what I seen. It is nothing like it use to be. The lips of my vagina(so sorry for this) are very lose looking. What can I do to help this? I am almost positive I need some reconstructive surgery. Is it from gaining so much weight? I am so sad and mortified but what is going on down there. Any advice? ANy help? So sorry if this was TMI, this is my 1st post. Thank you I did have vag births both times. My youngest just turned 1. so it has been awhile. I always heard that *things* go right back to normal. Apparently that isnt the case.
Thank you all SOOO much. Now I don't feel like a deformed monster. lol. You guys really put me as ease.
Honestly, I think it is just from having two children vaginally. Things get stretched out and while you can try to get them to tighten up, they might not go back to normal.
You are brave for using a mirror, a magnifying one nonetheless, to take a look!!! LOL - I don't think I would! :-)
I never personally thought the thing was all that pretty to begin with, so I will save my plastic surgery money for more visible body parts, and abstain from the magnifying mirror.
Oh, honey. Welcome to the club. Saggy boobs and girl parts that are sixteen times the size they used to be. Oh, and let's not forget the stretch marks, because those are so much fun as well! ;)
Try not to worry about it. Honestly, if things feel "loose" down there, just do kegel exercises. That will tighten up all the important parts ;), and I promise your husband doesn't care about the rest of it. It's not from having gained weight, it's from having had two kids naturally. Believe me when I tell you, you are NOT the only one. I was just talking to my waxing lady the other day (because she literally spends 40 hours per week doing Brazilian waxes, so she sees a LOT of girl parts!). She said that's just how it is. I mean, you could get surgery if it REALLY bugs you, or you could just view it as your badge of honor from having 2 kids. :)
I only gained 7 pounds during my pregnancy because I lost 10 due to morning sickness and then developed thyroid issues. When I looked " down there" I was also horrified. It looked liked my vaginal walls were collapsed around the opening of my vagina, which they probably were. Things look better now, but not even close to what it used to be. Also, needless to say, things aren't as tight as they were. You're totally normal. The problem is no one ever tells women that these things happen. It's a dirty little secret, but the reward is worth it ;)
It could have to do with gaining weight, I mean all things sort of shift around and have the potential to get flabby when that happens, but it probably has more to do with two babies, age, etc. Yeah, things don't go back to normal in that area and it kinda stinks! ;) I wouldn't worry too much. If you still enjoy sex and your husband still enjoys it then stop looking at it and you'll be okay!
the things you learn on Mamapedia.
Welcome & so sorry you are dealing with this. I have to go now & check myself!
& yes, I will be sharing this with my friends! In addition to my boobs hanging in my armpits, I now have something new to worry about! Yikes.
& please understand....I am not making fun of you! I'm bamboozled by this new knowledge!
Did you have vaginal births? If so, I would think it has to do with that, and not the weight. Do you have an OB? I'd bring this up with them, ask them if it's normal, what can be done, etc. Start with them, and go from there.
If you didn't have vaginal births, then most definitely talk to your OB. I haven't heard of weight causing something like that. I'm not a Dr, of course.
OMG....I took a mirror once and looked after I had ALL my children. Scary looking I thought. I did talk to my doctor because I thought something went wrong and my poor vagina was deformed. Turns out this is normal and what happens to us women. He then asked me if I was going to be in Playboy anytime soon because if I was, I could get cosmetic surgery!! lol He said women all look like this when they give birth. I guess I had to live with it because Playboy never called....lol
I was teasing with my gyn a couple of years ago (she is one cool lady!) and said that my husband told the doc who delivered me that while he was stitching me up after the birth, that he should put in a couple of "husband stitches". (My hubby was teasing, btw!) She actually told me that yes, women do get reconstructive surgery down there if it's really bad, but that she doesn't like to do it because it can cause secondary pain, and she doesn't see it as worth it unless it's really bad.
I have no interest in this at all - it was just an interesting aside to my quip. But I've never forgotten this - hope it helps you.
I don't know about the part with weight gain. That would be a question for your gyn.
By the way, our privates are part of us and need to be examined, other than by our spouses LOL! It's GOOD to know what you look like so that you can keep tabs on your health. (And it's part of your overall sexuality.) Men look at themselves everyday. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you should be any different.
Even though you are older now and have kids, and look different, doesn't mean to not love the "new you".
Dawn
Vaginal birth does a number on many women. Husbands tend not to care much, especially when the damage is the result of their beloved wives bearing their amazing children. Kegels can help keep the internal muscles firm, but can't do much for the soft outer tissues.
I wonder whether this photo-sharing site would help you feel less critical of yours? beautifullabia.tumblr.com/
wow....really glad I had c-sections. My OB once told me that women who give birth vaginally to babies 8 lbs and over will normally never be the same...so not sure how big your babies were.
Pretty normal from giving birth. My stitches ripped after my first baby, and it didn't heal right. When the doctor finished sewing me up after my second delivery he looked at the previous damage that hadn't healed right and asked if I would like him to cut it and stitch it again properly. I had really had enough going on down there at the time and said no, but now I kind of regret it. I will never be a vagina model...
My issue came while I was pregnant with child #3...varicose veins "down there" as large as my little finger! Not all of them have gone away, even though he will be seven years old on Friday. I don't like it either but other than have surgery on an area that no one but my husband and the doctor sees, why bother?
I too am trying to lose weight which I hope will help with the prominant veins and the need to wear extra-large sanitary pads. I didn't have to do that either 'til after the last child was born.
Ohhh my...I had vaginal birth 3 years back, and mine still its loose down there,,,but i am not much bothered about it, as long as my husband is not concerned about it, why should i worry....he is just concerned about my weight....
but yes my GYNO told me to do kegels, and i am doing it, to my sis in law she told, its really tight down there like a 16 year old virgin.....though she is married, for 3 years she has not conceived till now,,she is 30 and is on a overweight side like me ....so you see this is all because of vaginal birth guess nothing connected with weight gain.........
People say that after giving birth to child it becomes normal again,,but i guess its just in words.......:-(
regards.
i dont think it was so much the weight gain as it was 2 vaginal births within a relativly short period of time .. im not so sure if things go back to normal "right away"
