To Bring or Not to Bring My 5 Month Old to a Wedding

I agree to go! It will be fine and as the others said they are portable at this age. I also agree that likely the baby can sleep at the reception, no? I mean it's mot ideal but at 5 months my kids still could sleep anywhere. I would feed him and then lay him in the stroller to sleep so you can enjoy the party. The noise will not bother him, trust me.

If it were my wedding and my SIL and nephew didn't come I'd be sad.

Three of you should go. A breastfeeding baby is SO easy to travel with. Where would he sleep? Carseat. Easy peasy. Go and have a good time.

All 3 of you should go to the wedding. You need to get out, have some fun, people can see the baby! Who cares if you leave early, you went you made an appearance. You're breastfeeding that's great, your not dead.

I think you'd regret not going. GO!

I would go and take your son. Even if it is his bedtime, you can stay for the reception...just take his stroller or a portable crib type thing and put him down there. It's not ideal but you aren't doing this EVERY night.

It wouldn't be horrible for just your hubs to attend.

I would go and take the baby. 5 months old is a great age. They aren't mobile yet. You can b/f anywhere. Go and have a great time. Keep baby with you at the reception, you can say hello, get a few dances in etc, as others play "pass the baby." built in short term sitters with extended fanily.

Have a great trip.

Bring the baby! Luckily, with breastfeeding, you don't have to worry about having to warm a bottle or carry formula. And baby can sleep fine in his carrier. You could stay and enjoy the whole thing.

ETA: I just wanted to say that this is your SIL's wedding. She's not a distant cousin. You all should go.

I agree on the comment below about 5 month olds being portable. And the fact you don't have to mess with bottles, etc.

This is a happy occasion and immediate family. Go. Most churches have cry rooms, or at the very least there is another room for you to go if little one is fussy during the ceremony.

I'll go one step further. Bring the little tyke to the party. Let him/her sleep in the car seat or in the arms of grandma or be passed around from one aunt to the other. you and your husband have a fun night WITH your child and family and when YOU are tired go to bed.

I do plan many things around my children's temperament/schedule, but being flexible and comfortable enough to throw the schedule out the window for a day or two will keep you from losing your mind:). It'll be good for all of you to have this time with family and it speaks volumes about how much you care for his family as your own. (if this was YOUR sister, would you all be debating this?) Have a great time!
Let us know how it all went!

A five month old a nursing baby is very portable. Baby can come to the wedding, nurse whenever needed, and sleep whenever needed. Baby can sleep in a stroller at the wedding reception. I would definitely bring baby. My babies went everywhere with me.

I would go and take the baby. They are so much easier to travel with at that age! Keep it simple- I had to laugh last summer when my friends drove 3 hours to visit with me for three days and brought a large car PACKED with gear! Seriously, they brought the swing, the bouncer, everything! At five months you need clothes, diapers, wipes, maybe a paci and a couple of toys, car seat, and mom. That's it! My son was 8 months when I brought him from Phoenix to Chicago for a funeral, and it was fine. Everyone loved seeing the baby (not a happy occasion like yours, but still a large family gathering involving several events and needing to be quiet during a ceremony). Don't over-think it. Sit near the back during the ceremony, sneak out if you have to. Bring the carrier carseat, let him sleep in that during the reception if he isn't being held. If you need to feed him, go ahead! If you are not comfortable feeding him with a nursing cover in a public place, there will likely be an office or other room at the reception venue that you can use. You can even call the venue ahead of time to make arrangements for a room to be unlocked, etc. When I was breastfeeding I traveled several times and found that people were always very accommodating. I used empty hotel rooms for a few minutes, offices, even the very fancy office of a high-ranking government official once! Just ask for what you need. You will be fine, have fun!!

How can you not go to your sister-in-law's wedding? Just go, do what you have to do, forget bedtimes and just go with it.

Chica:

he's 5 months old. He will most likely be sleeping in the evening.

Can you afford all three of you going?
Do you really want to go? It sounds like you don't and want to make excuses - or use your son - as an excuse to NOT go. I get it would be tiring to travel, drive, hotel, etc.

How horrible would it be for just your husband to attend? It wouldn't.

If you don't want to go. don't go. Just say so. Don't use your son as an excuse. I understand the "sitter" issue. I really do. I don't think you need one as the family understands that you have a baby and they want to see you.

Good luck!! I know the decision is hard...what would I do? I would go.

For starters.... My impression from your post is that you don't want to go and you are using your son as the excuse.

This is your SIL, not a long lost cousin or high school friend. This is family.

You would be seeing family. Some of these family members would meet your son for the first time.

I would go, be with family and allow family to meet my son. I would not take a 5 month old in to a wedding ceremony. You are not BF'ing 24/7 so why can't a family member watch your son while you are at the wedding. Maybe someone can be at the venue so he is there, just not in the same room with you. I know he is just 5 months old but do you really think a family member would set him up with a sitter who is not responsible and reliable?

You and hubby need some couple time and this is a good way to start it.

I don't think it would be horrid if your hubby went to the wedding alone. I also don't think the family will buy your excuse.

They will most likely want you in the family photos. I think 10-20 years from now you will be sad if you are not in the photos.

No reason to get a baby sitter for a 5 month old. I think an 18 month old is a different story (they are a lot more mobile and get into things).

I too would not look forward to traveling with a 5 month old. I guess I would consider not going if the SIL has been married multiple times (I know I will get some grief here for this comment). My SIL has been married a couple of times and 3 years ago had a small wedding in Vegas. I had a new baby and 3 year old (and have good intuition). I said to my husband half joking that I will go to her next wedding. Well, divorce is almost final and she has moved in with a new man. If your SIL does not take marriage seriously then I would opt out.

My daughter went with my husband and I to a convention for his work when she was 6 months old. It was in Los Angeles and not only a long plane trip but a lot of driving.

We all had a blast...well, she and I did while my husband was in meetings another wife and I (and daughter) toured LA...went on a home tour...ate at great restaurants...etc etc...she spent most of the time in her carrier and snugi.

I get the feeling you just don't really want to go, and baby is an excuse.

Get a dress that allows breast feeding...sit in the back of the church...and party hard at the reception. Have a fun trip!!

I personally think you should go this is family not just some friend of your husbands. Your inlaws will want to see the baby. I was in a wedding when I was exclusivly breastfeeding you just find a place to sit down and cover up and feed the baby. If you need to fid him on the plane do so. If you need to feed him in the car pull over and do so. don't use the baby as an excuse to not go. I kids both slept good even when there was noise.

So this is his sister getting married?
Your husband needs to be there.
This is one of the most important days in her whole life.

If you do not want to go, don't go.

If you do go, you can go to the ceremony and then go to a hotel. Your husband can catch rides from his relatives. Or you can go back with the baby for a few hours after a nap.

Making the effort is worth, not having regrets later is a blessing.

You do what works for you, me? I would go and bring baby. No way would I leave my 5 month old for a few days, but that's just me.

Babies sleep anywhere and eat anywhere, so it's easy enough.

If the baby had colic, I'd stay home - otherwise I would go.

But it's not horrible for just your husband to go either. Totally up to you.

With a baby that young, and especially a breastfeeding infant, I found it easy to take them anywhere I was going. I took them to concerts, weddings, music festivals, family reunions, anywhere really. They always just slept in the sling I wore. I even altered a nice dress to allow me to breastfeed during the wedding and reception. The sling was what made it all possible. I brought the car seat with us to allow me to put the baby down when he/she fell asleep. I found that lots of people were willing to hold the babies for me so I could dance :)

Go, bring the baby and stay the whole time. I went to two weddings with infants (my sister's, then my husband's cousin's) and it was fine. Wear something that you can bf in without having to completely disrobe and you'll be able to find somewhere quiet and private to nurse when you need to. I think for one wedding we had a car with us so I used that for my feeding space and at the other, I asked the staff at the reception site where I could go and they found a little room for me. The baby can sleep in his car seat when he gets tired. Don't overthink this - go and enjoy yourselves!

That young, bed time can be in the car seat. Go to the wedding and have fun. Family is so impt.

I'd go. 5 month olds can usually sleep anywhere. Bring a nursing cover along and his stroller. My sister in law brought her 8 month old to our wedding and my friend brought he one month old. Both of them nursed their little ones in the brides room at the reception, they danced with everyone and then fell fast asleep. The older one in his stroller and the one month old in his car seat. They all stayed until the wedding ended at midnight. Go. Have fun. :)

He's going to be 5 mos. It will be easy enough to have him sleep in a stroller or carseat in a corner of the room and enjoy yourself! Maybe easier said than done, but I have 3 kids and we have periodically brought them to events (especially as infants) and just kindof gone with the flow. If they were disruptive, bring them out, otherwise, if they were welcome to an event, they were there. I have been to many weddings where kids were up past bedtimes and they were fine. If you get them used to being flexible early, they can attend events such as weddings without a problem. Another option would be to find out if your sister-in-law or family knows of someone that can babysit in the hotel room while the baby sleeps. (we have also done this at weddings when the reception was at the hotel). When the kids get tired, they can go back to the room... you can check on him whenever/breastfeed etc. If you really want to go you can make it work. I have 3 kids... having 1 infant at a wedding won't be that big of a deal! I bet everyone will love having him there. On the other hand, we have turned down long distance weddings because of logistics with young kids, but if you are close to your sister-in-law (she is immediate family) I think you should go.

I'd go but plan on NOT sitting in the church or what ever the venue is. Plan on spending quality time with family and friends but don't take the baby in unless he's asleep. As soon as he's awake you get up and leave off the back few rows. This way the baby does not in any way detract from the ceremony but the family still gets to meet him and spend time loving on him and taking tons of pictures.

You should go for the visiting part but not be disruptive to the ceremony.

The baby can sleep anywhere, there's no reason anyone has to leave the reception to go put the baby to bed. He's not a toddler running amok that will need a quiet dark place to calm down.

Personally, with a plane ride AND a 3 hour car trip, I'd probably just send hubby. That's a lot of travel for an adult, let alone a small baby.

I would only bring baby if he/she has a carseat on the plane. Own seat for sure, for safety.
At that age we left baby with a sitter for a few days for a wedding out of state.
I stored up a lot of milk and pumped @ the wedding. I still got a plugged duct.
Though if we'd had baby, no reason baby could not be out until midnight with a something to rest in. 5 months I didn't worry about bedtime so much. They slept anywhere!

It would be perfectly fine and acceptable for hubby to attend the wedding on his own. Stay home with your children. By SIL, I'm guessing that this is your husband's sister, let him go and spend some one on one time with his parents and siblings.

Couldn't your 5 month old sleep in the carrier for a couple of hours during the reception? I'd take the baby.

My thoughts, I don't think it would be horrible if you didn't attend but you need to feel out the situation first. My feelings.....

I'd probably go. If they can find you a very reliable sitter to just be in another room wherever the wedding is during the ceremony and you keep the baby with you the rest of the time. Go back early to your room and let your husband enjoy the party, etc....

If this is really stressing you out then call your SIL and feel her out. You can skip the wedding if she seems to understand. If she does not...... you probably don't want that between you.

If it were local -- yes. But it's not.

The plane trip is likely to cause painful pressure in baby's ears and make him cranky; do NOT depend on his sleeping on the plane -- he might or might not; you never can tell. And then there's an additional long car trip. And staying in a strange place. The stress for you, mom, would be high and babies do pick up on parents' stress levels, which can make them upset and cranky, which in turn increases your stress....You see where I'm going? Not worth it. Your relatives will understand. Tell them that the baby doesn't do well yet with travel and with any changes to his schedule. Usually infants who are not yet walking are good to travel with as they still sleep a lot and can't run away from you -- but in this case I'd say no.

The world will not end and your relatives will not be eternally offended if your husband goes alone. He will have a better time if he goes alone. You will be far less stressed out if you stay home. Enjoy the one on one time with the baby.

By the way, we did take our daughter to a wedding when she was five months old, but (a) it was very local, a 20 minute drive away, (b) the wedding was daytime and the reception was lunch and afternoon, not evening, and (c) the wedding had tons of kids of all ages.

If you can afford it, I'd say go. 5 months old are flexible - you can nurse him and let him fall asleep and put him in a pack n play at the reception or pumpkin seat. That is what I would do :) If you can't afford the ticket, then just have hubby go.

Updated

If you can afford it, I'd say go. 5 months old are flexible - you can nurse him and let him fall asleep and put him in a pack n play at the reception or pumpkin seat. That is what I would do :) If you can't afford the ticket, then just have hubby go.

What I did for my wedding, when I was older, was hire a babysitter to come to the wedding/reception. She planned crafts for the older kids and held babies that were sleeping - all right there at the event. Nursing mom's could slip in and out as needed.

Perhaps the bride would be willing to find a babysitter for the wedding, as you can't be the only mom attending with small children/infant types.

P.S. Everyone loved our wedding because it was so family friendly. Parents danced with their kids, without their kids, the kids danced together the most...ohhhh, that was a lot of fun.

My instincts say keep yourself and baby at home. Then there is a tugging feeling that your SIL may hold it against you and that you may regret not going down the road. So, go bring baby and prepare for the worst. Talk to the bride and groom and see if there is a possible room you can take baby should crying arise, since whatever schedule you may have will be down the drain. I would make sure there was a modesty area available somewhere for breastfeeding, as natural as it is I do not think you want to nurse during the ceremony - unless it's a 3hr ordeal, and a place at the reception hall if you go for the dinner/toast portions. Honestly, I think what is needed is a real breakdown of all the events and to decide if your baby is the kind that would do well in that situation.

I think my initial instincts of say home stem from my own experiences. My son and I would have stayed home - my son was a VERY fussy baby in general and not a sound sleeper. We would not have been ideal guests at a wedding.

Babies at that age travel so well. Just go; you'll be surprised how easy it is. Make sure you have a stroller or car seat where you can set the baby during the event and a cover up/dress that's easy for milk access. I've been to many weddings with kids of all ages. They will sleep when they want to sleep and eat when they want to eat. Don't stress about it.

This is a tough one. The selfish and overprotective mother part of me wouldn't go -- it's a hassle and totally inconvenient to take a 5 month old out of town (packing, planning, scheduling, changing his diaper in the car/plane, baby crying in the plane, lugging everything through the airport (including the carseat), being in a tiny space while carrying the baby for however long you will be on the plane, etc.). It could also mess up his sleep/nap routine. You may have to make more frequent stops during the drive. It may take you longer to get to your destination. And once you're at the wedding, you may not be able to enjoy yourself. Your baby may become fussier than usual in a new environment. He may not sleep well in a new environment. Lots of cons.

At the same time, the let's-try-to-do-the-right-thing-even-if-it's-a-hassle part of me says to just grit your teeth and bear it since's it's your SIL's wedding. It may be inconvenient, but in the long run, no real harm will come to your son. I think that if my SIL found someone and was getting married, I would go, even if it's reluctantly.

It's your husband's sister? He should definitely go. Sounds like going for you is a huge hassle. Do you think it would cause issues if you didn't go? I personally would not have cared if my husband's sister didn't come to our wedding but some people do. I don't think I would have cared all that much if my brother's wife came either and I do really like her. For me, my wedding was for my husband and me. But maybe I'm weird.

Do the bride and groom know anyone who could stay in the hotel with the baby? you could nurse and then go back to the wedding. It would not be horrible for just him but it would be awful for the baby to scream and screech thoughout the bride and grooms special day.

please. husband only.
seriously.
khairete
S.

Go but don't stay too late @ reception w baby.