To Go to Las Vegas? or Not to Go to Las Vegas?

Oh my goodness S., it's not not that serious! Really traveling with a new baby is so easy... I think you are just making up excuses... Just remember that your husband is important in your life just as much as your new baby. Suggestions: travel when your baby does most of his sleeping, like at night and right after a feeding if you time it right he will sleep through most of it. From LA with no traffic Vegas is only 4 hours away, if you need to, stop and breastfeed in between. You say vegas is too cold, wear a coat and get the baby a hat, body heat escapes through the head. If someone gets a cold they will live through it, my babies always did and so did I. I'm allergic to cats too and have to visit people with cats' its a must because they are family, take claritin, won't dry-out milk while breastfeeding or benydrle, but ask your doc. With that said, have fun in Vegas.

You should go. I took a trip last year in November to New Mexico and really didn't want to. I kept listing all the things that bothered me and that would be inconvenient. Well, it was probably the best trip I have had. Let go of your anxieties; your baby will feed off of them. We started trips when the oldest one was 3 months old (flew to New jersey, camping trips, etc). The first trip for all three was when my kids were 5 months, 4 yrs, 7 yrs. we took the first of many road trips and yes, it was a pain for me because I was the one who had to entertain them in the long car ride, but really, it was worth it for us and them to see the extended family. Ask to have the cat put aside for your visit, take medicine with you (ask the doctor about you taking children's Benedryl). If your baby gets a cold it should be easily treated with Tylenol. If he is nursing, his immunity should be fine anyways. And this might be a good time to get him to go longer between feedings. You sound like a very nervous first time mom and it is easy to get carried away with the "what ifs". I remember when I had my first one and I felt alot of the same anxieties and my husband said basically the same as yours ("we can't stop doing what we love and live in a bubble"). And he was right. You are not being lazy, just over-worrying. You really don't want him to go alone; that would be miserable for you both. I hope you are able to go and have a great visit!

Hi S., I disagree with the previous advice, I think your job is to think of your baby first, that's what happens when we become parents. It's not all about us and what we want to do anymore. If your baby hates being in the car why would you subject him to that? He will eventually learn to like the car but why force him to be in it now when he is still so little? With older babies and kids you can give them toys and snacks to occupy them, play music and games. But a 4 month old? There isn't much you can do to make it more fun for him.
As far as sickness goes, I don't blame you a bit. It's easy for other people to say it's not the end of the world, but you will be the one having to take care of him. At his age he is too young to take medication or even blow his nose, it's miserable! Just keeping sick people at a distance is not enough. A sneeze in close proximity will be all she wrote, besides, you could get sick and pass it to your son.
I know your husband wants to show off his wife and baby, but it really is only for him, I don't think you or your baby will have a good time and you will be stressed out the whole time. There is plenty of time for family vacations and hanging out with friends. It's really such a short time that we have to put our babies first, and think of their needs above our own, you will have a much better time if you wait till next year.
Best wishes,
K.

Any ONE of your reasons, 3-6, should by itself be sufficient to skip the trip!

Don't torture yourself or your baby for a trip that may not even be very fun for you since you are reluctant to go and may resent having gone once you get there, especially if someone IS sick, you have an allergy attack, or diminish your breast milk supply (been in the situation you described...NOT fun & very stressful). Good luck in your decision.

Lordy! I wouldn't have said anything except after I read Bonnie O.'s response- that was a little too rough for me! I think you should go easy on yourself. It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety-understandably so- and first you should know that's OK. The trip may be a total pain in the butt and you may be right about a lot of things but I think the other Mom's are generally right, it might be a good idea to try this out, and you may (hopefully) enjoy yourself more than you think. For me I would just be sure to get a HOTEL ROOM. That way if, while your there, you need some quiet time away from the hubbub of others you have a safe haven for you and baby. AND your hubby can enjoy his time with friends. I might have reacted same as you- asked him to go alone, and it's awfully sweet he really doesn't want to go without you. He loves you, and if you do go, he will be there every step of the way to help you. It's super hard to try things after baby comes but the sooner the better. Whatever you choose to do, take care, and be happy.

Hi S.,

I am a first time Mom too and I can tell you that it is much easier to travel before the kid is moving. It seems counter-intuitive, but it is true.
When my daughter was less than three weeks old we drove for five hours to go to Thanksgiving. She woke up twice. We stopped and I nursed her. It was fine.
When she was 6 months old, we took the same trip to visit relatives and this time, I brought a hand-held pump. I pumped in the backseat and fed her. We didn't even stop.
I would you suggest that you get a hand-held pump and sit in the back.

As for germs, there are new studies that suggest that early exposure to germs decreases the likely hood of allergies and asthma.

And if you really don't want to drive that far, why don't you negotiate and fly.

Flying with a four month old is a piece of cake.

As for the cold. Bring lots of clothing and layer. It isn't like you are going to be outside that much anyway, unless you plan on camping.

Have fun.

W.

Good luck

Hi S., I think you should stop stressing and try to look at the positives! A 6-hour drive is really not much, when you stop for meals and play-time. Your baby may even get a nice long stretch of sleep from the constant motion of the vehicle. Vegas is cold, but not quite as cold as you'd imagine, and I'm sure you can seek out fun kid-friendly things to do while you're there. As far as your kids getting sick, it sure would be great to keep them from that forever, but they're going to catch something eventually before you least expect it and it's actually good for them! It helps their immune systems in the long run.
I am a mom to a toddler and infant, and we drove 18 hours this summer with a 5-month old and 2.5 year old. It was rough, but we made it! And we drove overnight so the kids slept for really long stretches. Try to enjoy yourself! Think of your husband's joy at getting to see his friend, and letting your baby see some new sights!

I think you should just go and have a good time because you will eventually hear about the fun the rest of them had, and will regret not going in the first place. Plus, in January, after the holidays, the I15 from LA is bound to be moving. Just take lots of warm clothing if you are concerned about the cold. It could not be much worse than the last week in a half in LA anyway.
Also, if you are worried about sickness, make sure everyone washes their hands before holding your baby, and if other kids touch your baby, have them gently touch the top of the baby's head keeping clear of your baby's face. Finally, if anyone is sick, tell them that you would love to have them hold your baby, but are worried about him/her catching that sickness. Most people understand this concept and are not offended, especially if they already have children of their own.
As far as allergies, I think Sherry had good advise for you. I hope everything works out, and you will have a great trip.

Definatly go. Many have posted a lot of good reasons... supporting your husband, getting out of the house, getting you child used to the world around him.

In regards to your baby not liking the car: I notice that when I'm worried and uptight about something so is my son. So if you decide to drive to LV, I suggest relaxing, putting on a happy face (although you may not be feeling it at first) and thinking of all the positives while in the car. It will help your little one relax and probably sleep for most of the drive until he's hungry or you arrive. If your pump has a battery pack, you can use that to pump in the back seat while your hubby drives, if stopping/time is an issue.

Good luck and enjoy Vegas.

I know it seems like a lot of things to consider but really the only thing that is actually a pain is the cat. You shouldn't take any medication while breastfeeding. Why don't you ask if they would board the cat or have a friend take care while you are visiting? I don't think in this case that would be an unreasonable request.

But really, from my part of town it only takes 3 1/2 hours to get to Vegas. The car is moving most of the time because it is freeway.

Vegas is a bit colder than it is here but not by much.

I have a feeling there is another reason you may not be looking at that you don't want to go.

Best of luck in whatever you do.

S.

Hi S.,

I totally understand your dilemma. I made a similar trip to Vegas not too long ago for a wedding when my daughter was 4 months old and I shared many of your concerns. You can make the trip, but just try to get your husband to understand that at this age, the baby dictates the schedule. We also drove from L.A. but made several stops to nurse the baby, change the baby and feed ourselves! As long as you and your husband understand that it is not about getting there fast you will be alright.

Also, you and your baby are used to your own schedule and while I applaud all those mamas out there who are able to go with the flow, I find myself going with my baby's flow, which doesn't always jibe with the rest of the world. I get the impression that you are the same way. If that is the case, don't be ashamed - it is natural.

Please impress upon your husband that you are not lazy - just apprehensive. Sometimes men just don't get that with an infant, everything revolves around the baby's feeding schedule and timing is everything! That alone is stressful for new moms.

With regards to staying with your relatives and taking alergy medication, can you suggest a compromise with your husband and stay at a low cost hotel? Vegas has plenty of nice ones. If that means shortening the trip due to cost - so be it. That is the compromise. My friend stayed at a suites-like hotel (that had a kitchen) with her husband, 2 young kids and mother and the trip went smoothly.

Perhaps having a little retreat to spend alone time with your husband & son and being able to pump privatley, de-stress or just calm a too fussy baby would ease your mind about going. Too much togetherness sometime can cause too much stress.

Also, please assert yourself while you are on this trip. If you need to go someplace private to pump, nurse or put your baby down for a nap - just do it. Don't let anyone tell you you are being too fussy or high maintenance - this is YOUR job and you do it the best way you see fit. Just make sure you let your brother and sister-in-law know in advance of your needs.

In addition, let your husband know that you are BOTH parents now and while you will both enjoy socializing, at this stage of the game, it will not be the same as it was before your son was born. Maybe later, but not now - not for you at least.

I hope this helps and I wish you well. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Good luck!

You have already received lots of wonderful advice, but I will add my 2 cents. I know you are very nervous, as many first time moms are. Most of your worries, though, have fairly easy solutions if you look at them one by one.

1 - You can stay indoors out of the cold. Take a warm pram suit and hat to cover him if you do need to go outside at all.
2 & 3 - Baby doesn't like car...Ours HATED the car (crying every second) but we had to keep up with getting her okay with it, as it is a fact of life, so now she doesn't particularly care for it, but she is alright with it. Two friends have avoided the car as much as possible because their infants didn't like it and as the babies grew they never got used to it and still hate it, curtailing a lot of possible family activities. Your husband will just have to stop whenever your little one needs to nurse or need a stretch break to be cuddled. You can stop at all the tourist spots along the way and your little one should enjoy all the new sights and you'll get a kick out of how cheesey all the tourist traps are. We have been traveling with ours since 2 weeks old (Palm Springs) and continue to (Vegas, Pismo Beach, Texas, San Francisco, the Cook Islands...10 hour plane flight at 6 months old) and have found that the less you take and the more flexible you are, the better! Just take a sling (works great if you don't want strangers trying to touch your baby), a couple toys (they really just need you as their main toy!), a blanket to roll around on the floor at your brother-in-law's home, and a blanket to cuddle up with, diapers, wipes, teething ring that can be chilled (use a ziploc filled with ice) or other teether they enjoy, clothes, a ziploc of possible meds (infant tylenol & motrin, Mylicon, diaper rash cream, nose bulb syringe), your doctor's phone number, and you're ready to go. We don't usually even take a stroller as our little one is not the biggest fan of it and would rather be in the sling or Baby Bjorn. If you cosleep, no need to worry about sleping arrangements; if not, you can usually request a crib ahead of time if you stay in a hotel or just take a pack n play. Nothing more needed! One last thought, you can move your baby up to the convertible car seat now and it may help him tolerate the car more. Since ours hated the infant seat so much, we got the Britax Marathon very early on and she is much happier. It sits up higher so she can see out the window, even though she is still facing backwards, and it sits a little more upright so she doesn't feel like she is strapped down in a sleeping position and it has more leg and arm room for her to kick her legs and move her arms to play with toys.
4 - Your husband will need to stop whenever your little one needs to nurse and you can take your pump with you. Your friends and relatives will understand that your little one needs to eat often, as their children were infants at one time. I find that when I am on our excursions with my husband there, I tend to be able to nurse our daughter even more than usual as I am not worried about cleaning the house, running errands, and cooking dinner, etc.
5 - If someone is sick, you can have them stay away from the baby. You can also, very gently, ask your friends and relatives to wash their hands (they will understand as they probably worried when their children were little). Because you breastfeed, your little one has a strong immune system and a few germs will not be the end of the world. It is actually good that they are exposed to a variety of settings while they are little to strengthen their immune system and help avoid allergies later in life. (I am also in the healthcare field.) For example, my little one, now 7 months, has been going with me once a week since she was 2 months old to work for an hour a week at a school where I work with a group of kids with disabilities and I remind the kids that they can not touch my baby unless they wash their hands.
6 - You can stay in a hotel if you are really worried. Your husband can make sure, ahead of time, that his brother's home is well cleaned and vacuumed before you go.

Last part - you need to support your husband in his relationships with his family as I'm sure he supports yours with your relatives. It is wonderful that he wants to share this time with you and to show you and your baby off to his friends and relatives. You do need to continue doing things you enjoyed before you had your baby to keep your marriage thriving and it is good for you little one to experience new things, be loved and adored by the relatives, and live with a Mommy and Daddy that are happy with each other and with their life. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you can do almost anything with your baby that you did before you had him, with just a few accomodations. People are always commenting how cute and happy our little girl is when we are at places that people generally don't bring infants to, but I believe it is because we have been doing it from the very beginning and are as relaxed as possible about it; babies are VERY smart and pick up on how everyone is feeling about a situation and display similar emotions to their parents' reactions.
Good luck and enjoy your first of many family vacations! As others have said, take LOTS of pictures!

Get over it and go!! I have 2 kids 16 months apart and we flew to Maine when they were one and two.

S., Take your life in your hands and GO...I know you feel uncomfortable with all the reasons you mentioned, but sounds like your husband will feel like he missed out in a big way if you don't go. Anyway, you won't be alone. He wants to share this time with you and it's not worth the resentment he may feel--he may eventually start going places without you if it is always a struggle. It sounds like you do enjoy these people--it will give you a chance to get closer and create memories together.(Be sure to take pictures)You can learn a lot from the moms of the other children--observe how they manage to do things and ask questions. Consider this a learning experience--and dress in layers to keep warm. Good luck and have fun!

aawww, S.....It might be a pain - although it might not! I think you ought to give it a go...have you considered flying, maybe? it's SUCH an easy flight from LA to vegas, 45 mins or so. Then you can rent a car. Also, (like another mom said) I think a hotel room would be in order. This way, you can have your down time w/the baby when he (or you) need it. It's so nice that your hubby wants you to go w/him, I would really make this little sacrifice for him (and really, in the BIG PICTURE of life & marriage, this is a LITTLE sacrifice). I think once you get there, you will have a great time with everyone, and it IS nice to be around other adults when you have a new little one! (think of all the advice/tips you could get! lol). If flying is not an option, how about breaking up the car trip into 2 days? maybe drive the first part at night when baby goes to sleep. stay in barstow (or somewhere else that's kind of 1/2 way)...get a good nights rest, up in the morning, feed your little guy while dad checks out & loads the car/gets gas, etc., then hit the road for the other 1/2 of the drive. maybe hubby could ask that the cat be kept outdoors or in another room for your allergies? (i know how you feel, as i am allergic, too) and just make sure not to touch your nose/eyes, keep your hands washed, etc..to cut down on the reaction - i would not take antihistamines while breastfeeding, but you could ask your pediatrician if it's ok. ... good luck to you & let us know how it all shakes out!

Either put a big smile on your face and enjoys the adventure of life and have fun doing what you husband wants you to do or get a divorce so your husband can have a wife who wants to enjoy life a little.
B. v. O.

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. Just tell him straight out......your not going. Encurage him to go alone. He should be a little more understanding about the allergies. My husband is extreamly allergic to ANY animal, not to mention certain trees, grass, and everything else made by mother nature.
Men are so stupid sometimes! Your son is only 4 months old, and sitting in a car for that long with a crying baby is not fun and I'm sure your husband would regret it. You have many valid points. Especially about all the kids and not wanting your baby to get sick..... That's a big one for me.
Well, good luck. Maybe you could fly? It's only about an hour fight.

Hi S.,

Hmm -- who's going to be responsible for all of the childcare? If your husband commits to 50% share (except for nursing, obviously), then go. If you're going to be saddled with all the work while he has all the fun you might suggest that he's the one acting selfishly, not you.

Flying would be easier, but if you must drive, I agree with the person who suggested driving at night so the baby gets some sleep.

The cat will be the worst thing. Allergy medicine might interfere with your milk supply. You might want to read about tricks to increase your milk supply to counter that:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/galact.asp

I think it will be bad for your marriage if you don't go & good for it if you do. You definitely get points for making the effort with his family.

I would be nervous about the germs too, but if you are breastfeeding, your little man will get good immunities from you.

It would be better if this trip were presenting itself in a few months, but it isn't. Sometimes we do need to seize the now. Take your camera & take lots of pictures. The children will adore your little guy & he will get to absorb so much love from his family. Focus on that... you will probably have a good time, it's always harder anticipating and preparing for a trip.

My husbands family lives in Europe and some of my family lives back East. My daughter started traveling at four months also -- she's been to Europe 3 times and to the East Coast once. She loathes riding in cars, which is why I said that flying would be better, but a night drive would be okay.

One more thing, if you do go, take teething tablets. Many children start teething at 4 months and you wouldn't want to get caught unprepared.

Best of luck! Don't forget to post what happened!!

Your husband is absolutely right. You seem to have found lots of excuses not to go, but that's just what they are -- excuses. Everyone else manages to travel with babies and not only do the babies do just fine, but they become more adaptable to other surroundings and situations, which will serve to help them tremendously as they grow up. If you and your baby cocoon yourselves within YOUR comfort zone (not his), you will deny your family many amazing experiences. Babies adapt easily, especially when they are young. If you don't give them the chance to adapt and have fun, they will become inflexible and live life in a very limited way. Your life shouldn't stop once you have kids; you just make the necessary adjustments and teach your kids how to live the way you do. It is worth the effort and I'm sure that people much less capable than you have managed to do it; so really you have no valid excuse not to go.

Just suck it up and go. Your husband want to show you and your baby off to his brother and best friend. Think how you would feel if he didn't want you to go.

Flying to Vegas is a great solution -- easy peasy from LA. As for the cats, meet somewhere else or ask them to vacuum everything (including a chair for you to sit in by a window) right before you get there, and then put a fan in your room there.

My youngest son was born in Jan and we started going to LV in July and it worked out just fine......we went four times a year even in the cold. Rent a nice room and stay if you feel that it is too cold to take the baby out or if a kid is sick in the house. You can get a homeopathic remedy to help your son sleep should he need it. But I suggest leaving early, feed before you get into the car and hopefully he will sleep the entire time...it is hard with kids but I am guessing you signed on for that. Kids get sick that is how they build up an immunity. Visit a homeopathic store and gert some supplies should he need them. Your husband REALLY wants to go and you should support him as he should you. Have HIM load the car with everything you need and then try to relax. My youngest is now 17 and he survived every trip to LV, even being around sick people; it's just part of life. Have a good time and let us know what happened.

mom to three boys and therapist to "special needs" children

All of my husband's relatives live in LV, so that is where we need to go to see everyone. We flew with my daughter when she was 7 months and it was great. We also flew when she was 3 years old. Rented a car and took our own car seats. We always stay in timeshares that we can have some of our own down-time and privacy. This past Thanksgiving we rented a timeshare for the week and had a great time, except for the drive home. Normally 4 hours from LV to LA, it took 6 hours. Definitely won't go on a holiday weekend again! (My husband can't drive at night, so I had to do the majority of it and I'm 6 months pg with twins. It was not the most fun drive, but our 4 year old did pretty well).

If it was me, I'd go...maybe not drive, but fly and rent a car. I guess that the older I get, the more I value time with friends and family because we are all so spread out and seem to be too busy to really connect.

We started taveling with my daughter when she was 8 weeks old, with a week in Palm Springs. She was exculsively breast fed until 4.5 months when I returned to work, and I never had any problem breast feeding while on the road. Sure, it takes a little longer because you have to pull over and stop, but I never found it to be an issue.

I say go and enjoy yourselves. Sounds like your husband would really like to visit with his brother and friend, and the chance may not be there again for a long time.

Well, it's clear you don't want to go! But I will say that traveling with a baby at that age is great. (Although I know you won't believe me!). You could leave at night, when your baby usually sleeps if you are worried about that.

If you are worried about the car, one solution would be for you to fly with the baby, and have your husband or friend pick you up. The plane flight is about an hour, and this time of year the drive is realistically about 4 hours.

We went to the grand canyon when my son was 3 months old, in January. We drove. It was one of the best family vacations we've had! We have great memories and wonderful stories to tell our now 4 year old. We have kept traveling, and he's a great traveler!

Hi, S.,

My husband, two sons (now ages 28 months and 14 months), and I live in Las Vegas part of the year and Los Angeles part of the year (a few months in Las Vegas, then a few months in Los Angeles, and so on).

If you go to Las Vegas outside of rush hour, you will probably rarely have to stop for traffic. You will probably want to stop a few times (approx. every 90 minutes) for at least 15 minutes to attend to your baby and give your husband and yourself a break. Bring toys and little board books your baby can play with in his car seat. I recommend going with your husband if for no other reason to enlighten him on how difficult it can be to travel with a baby. (I have flown with both my babies many times, and my husband still doesn't fully appreciate the difficulty often involved in this type of travel.) That being said, some car trips to Las Vegas are not always difficult. My babies loved driving home from Las Vegas last time. After seven hours on the road, close to the time we pulled into our garage in Los Angeles, they were laughing and entertaining each other! Keep in mind that a car trip with babies will probably add a couple of hours to your trip.

I still nurse my younger son and take allergy medicine as I am allergic to cats, dogs and dust. Ask an allergist what's OK for you to take.

My kids hang around a lot of other kids and are rarely sick, so it is not a foregone conclusion that your child will get sick.

Good luck in deciding what to do. Attitude matters a lot. If you adopt a relaxed attitude, you and your family will probably have a good time. If not, then you and your family will probably not have a good time. I won't tell you what to do, though. If you decide not to go, tell your husband honestly and as calmly as possible, why you will not go.

Lynne E

This is a really tough one to answer. You obviously don't want to go. But I can tell you from experience that it's good to get out with your baby. In the general scheme of things, there never is a good time. If it's not they don't like being in a long car ride in a car seat, it will be that they won't want to sit because they are active and don't want to sit still, or it will be something else. Sometimes, we have to face the things we are uncomfortable with so that we can learn to do them and deal with them. Obviously, you know your baby best, but I also agree with your husband. Once you get on the road, your baby may sleep through the whole trip. Maybe you want to go later in the day, so that there will be less traffic and he may be more inclined to sleep? If he's a snacker but can be bottle fed, he can still snack in the car with a bottle as well. Bring some pumped milk or pump along the way.

Also, call the doctor and find out for sure about the allergy meds and breastfeeding. They can give you a definitive answer. As for someone being sick, if you find that someone is sick, you can always keep your baby away from them. While it is a great goal for your baby not to be sick, it's not the end of the world if they do.

Honestly, to me, it sounds like you're being overprotective, which is completely natural as you're a first time mom. (Totally don't agree with your husband that you're being lazy, just a worried mom!) If you're really that uncomfortable with going, than obviously, you shouldn't go. But I wouldn't say it would be the worst thing in the world for you to do it. It's always fun for children to hang out and get to know other children. Even if your child is a baby, the attention and experience with other children is usually a good experience for them. Also, I'm a big fan of hanging out with family and friends. They can be a big help to you on this trip. You won't have to be the only one worrying and taking care of your child. Others can share with you and help you out.

I do agree that you should step out of your comfort zone a little. It's easy to get wrapped up in your child and their wants and needs, but then you end up ignoring other important parts of your life, like your marriage or yourself, and you don't want to wait till there is irreparable harm done to either before you realize that you need to pay attention to these other important parts of your life as well.