I just finished watching "The View" where they interviewed an author of a book called, "Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss" - Sharlene Azam. Anyone saw it? I was in near tears seeing the testimony of some teens and MIDDLE-school age girls confessing to exchanging oral sex for THINGS.. from money, to gadgets to even homework...basically the author says, PROSTITUTION is going on...in MIDDLE SCHOOLS!
Please tell me that this isn't how our future is becoming for our girls. I consider myself a VERY strict mom. I also strive to be a permissive mom with fun family time & activities to give my daughter a good balance because I don't want to her to have such a strict upbringing that I had.
Upon saying that, I'm now reflecting on my father's strict way of raising me, and think maybe he did a really good job. I didn't even know what sex was until I was 14! And even though my parents never talked to me about sex, I always knew (even as my hormones were acting up) that I didn't want to have sex or do drugs. But it was just fun to flirt and have crushes.
Although, the internet didn't really come about until I was in my 3rd year of college. I know now why my dad waited almost 10 years after the internet had come out to get it into his home. My youngest sister is 8 years younger than me, and probably, he had the forethought to give her as minimal access to it as she could - not knowing what she might be exposing herself to. Back then, filters and firewalls weren't the way they are now.
I'm not against technology or blaming the media entirely, but it feels like a losing battle sometimes with all the sexual, violent contents that are continually seeping into our culture through shows and video games. Whatever happened to Tom and Jerry? Gosh, I now I really sound OLD! And i'm really just 33 years old. Even if you don't have sex and violent contents in your homes, you can't control the kids your children play with or the exposure they get outside of your home.
Where are the innocence anymore? Are parents of these young girls (who were on The View) being way too permissive with other things that now it has taught their daughters NO BOUNDARIES in other areas? Is our media bombarding our kids with so much MATERIALISM (and parents allowing them to watch too much REALITY TV) that they have no morals in terms of doing whatever it takes to get the finer things in life? Honestly, i don't know the answers to these things.
I don't even have cable in my home because I know myself how tempting it is to just have your favorite, trashy shows on in the background while my kids are playing nearby. It's just something about watching real people acting stupid that makes for good television..i admit it's funny and entertaining. but I know it's not good for my kids to have that in their views..because mostly, it's not just stupid television...but also sexual and violent stuff mixed in too. Oh gosh, do i sound like such a prude? :) All my daughter watches is PBS. I miss my shows, but not having cable hasn't killed me.
And even though I'm young, I feel as though I might as well have grown up in the 50s because this generation is making me very sad for my daughter's future right now.
It troubles me too. I was blessed to grow up with a family and church that taught me that I was better than that and I didn't need to do those kinds of things in order to get friends and love.
The things my friends did in High School they are now doing in Middle School or younger. I am a substitute and one 5th grade girl I taught had the goal that she wanted to get pregnant at 15, yes, literally, her goal!
Studies have shown that the most important factor for keeping kids and teenagers away from drugs, alcohol, and sex is their parents. For sex it is especially their dads!
When you are involved, set boundaries, and talk to them about WHY it is important to not get involved in these things then it makes all the difference in the world.
Keep doing what you're doing with tv and movies. We have the rule that my son (9) can't watch anything above PG or tv shows with kids in High School, no "potty humor" either. He still won't watch Sponge Bob and will even tell his friends he can't and walk out of the room.
I don't watch rated R movies or cable so there is nothing in my house or actions that he looks forward to for "when he gets old enough".
We have one set of standards regardless of the situation but not too strict and there is always a good reason, not just because I said so.
No child is perfect but you can make the biggest impact on your children's self esteem and desire to do what's right. So be cautious but don't worry, your daughter will be fine!
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K.P.
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I'm the mom of a nine month old amazing little girl and I feel exactly the same way you do. It breaks my heart the see the way girls are losing their innocence so early.
I was like you, raised with very strict parents and I was lucky to have friends that weren't a bad influence on me.
I think all we can do is love, educate and protect them the best we can each day.
As a teacher I am constantly shocked by how parents allow their girls to dress, the shows they watch, and music they listen to. I know my daughter is young and I'm not at the point where saying no to these things will be difficult but that's what being a good parent is all about.
I think it's wonderful you don't have cable. We don't have the TV on when our daughter is in the room but before long I'm sure she'll learn how to turn it on and change channels. Hope I'll be able to convince my husband to get rid of it.
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C.A.
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I bet it isn't as wide spread as the show made it out to be. I think that more affluent areas have a larger problem. I have boys, and they are clueless! But, even in lower grades it's easy to spot the boys and girls that are already leaning that direction! They seem to just "know more". Plus, if you walk around w/ your eyes open (blinders off) you'll know when troubles coming!
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J.C.
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Well if it makes you feel any better, I am 30 and think just like you do. So there are parents like us out there who are striving to raise our children right in this world. I agree that it gets scary. Especially once school starts because you don't know what other kids are telling your kid. But I also think that children tend to find a circle of friends, and if that circle is a good one, then their chances of being exposed to negative things goes way down. There is a saying "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future."
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M.L.
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Samantha - I am so totally with you. I have two little boys and worry all the time about the influences on their lives - all I can do is keep the WORLD out - no TV just videos, and only Dr. Laura for radio! They deserve their innocence. Keep a tight hold on their friendships (watch out for older brothers and their influence) and keep our family life HAPPY AND STRONG. Now - we should connect in a few years, about 15, so our kids can meet and date! Under our supervision of course! LOL (but I'm a little bit serious . . .)
