Toddler Behavior Book

I recommend 1,2,3 Magic. I am reading it now in anticipation of using it with my now 16 month old when he is closer to 2. It is used in the school where I work and I have seen it be very effective for all different kinds of kids.

"Positive Discipline" is one I like. It focuses on teaching real world skills for coping with frustration.

My two cents (I have an 18 month old and a 5 year old): I am not a big believer in time-outs per se. We re-direct in my house. When you aren't nice or lose your cool, the activity/game/toy/playmate goes away. When you don't use nice words, you don't get what you want. And so on. I find that a easy and simple and flexible approach. We do take awy priivledges/favorite things but really only for outlandish behavior (throwing, yelling) and didn't start that until around age 3 when warnings and consequences can be a little more specific. We also might have cooling off time - "go sit quietly until you are are calm enough to talk to me." The whole time out clock and chair just always seemed artificial, inflexible, and unrealistic to me. I know that some people feel like they need that structure to get their kids to cooperate and learn, It just doesn't fit for me.

May I suggest you order a bunch of books through the library to see what you like and then invest in one or two to keep on hand? Luckily, I haven't bought many, but I had a bunch given to me that were pretty bad. Good luck. Toddlers do have tantrums, but if YOU are calm, loving, and consistent, you will find they aren't that bad.

I like Dr. Sears Discipline Book, as well as the Love and Logic series. both emphasize natural consequences which help guide the child into disciplining themselves over time instead of making the parent the enforcer, which imo only leads to the child rebelling.

As far as time outs, I think whenever they start to realize it's a time out, they don't like it, and it's effective. I'd start with only a minute at a time, the minute starting when they are calm/aware this is a time out.

Good luck! L.

Thats very proactive of you! Good to plan ahead! I read more than my share of toddler discipline books. These are my favorites (because they work) "Happiest Toddler on the Block", "Be the parent you always wanted to be" (good for older children too), "Time in", and my all time favorite "How to Talk To Your Kids So Your Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So your Kids Will Talk" (its for an older child but the principle is still the same). For the Happiest Toddler on the Block, see if you can rent the DvD from the library. I think its easier to watch it than to read it because Dr. Harvey's tone is better understood by watching him.

Good luck!

My son's preschool uses 123 Magic. We don't use every suggestion in the book but since his school started it, we found it very easy to reinforce. Usually by the time I get to 2 he stops what he is doing and moves on. I wish we had it when my 5 yr old was a toddler. Good luck.

I have to second T. Berry Brazelton's books. Also Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvy Karp.

I am a social worker and prior to moving to VA I was a home-based family therapist. I highly recommend 1,2,3 Magic or Parenting with love and logic. They are both very easy techniques about parenting without emotion. They have you focus on your child's behavior. I would start reading and using them now. Good luck!

I would highly suggest the T. Berry Brazelton "Touchpoints" book(s). I say books, as the first covers birth to 3 and then there are more from there. Actually, anything by Dr. Brazelton would be good. He's probably the most well known, well respected child development specialist out there. And don't "assume" tantrums are "just around the corner". I think people assume the "terrible twos" are terrible and then they make them terrible. If you look at it as that's just the developmental stage your child is going through and you allow them to go through the motions/stages, you'll find you really do have the "best toddler on the block". When I sit around with other Mom's and they talk about all the trouble they're having with their kids, both boys and girls, then they say...."You don't have that trouble with XYZ do you???".....and I respond back "not really....."

Good luck and happy reading!

Hi. I have Toddler 411 and Happiest Toddler on the Block, which are both good. Our son has tantrums and melt downs at least 3-4 times a day, but I'm learning to anticipate the causes and keep them from happening as often. Don't let her get too hungry, thirsty, tired or overstimulated. My son hates crowds, waiting in line, sitting for too long in a shopping cart. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but singing his favorite songs usually keep him preoccupied. Or carry in a couple board books to flip through. He also fusses to go outside, so if it's nice out, give her time to play outdoors. I started using time out on a mat when he was maybe her age. It's good to start early, because later they'll know the drill. When they get older, you can also send them to their room as a form of time out for yourself if the tantrums are wearing you down. 15 minutes of quiet works wonders and keeps me from getting mad. Good luck.

how lovely that your little girl is such a delight right now! you know, she might just stay that way. it's very wise of you to plan in advance what kind of a parent you want to be in tough times too, but don't anticipate your way right into meltdowns that may not occur!
i think you should investigate several methods and then incorporate which tools fit best with your parenting philosophy. toddlers haven't read the books and don't always react as the authors say they will. remain flexible and keep your sense of humor.
remember time-out is not the cure-all many moms seem to think it is. it's a cooling-off opportunity (and it gives mom a break, which is far more valuable than many give it credit for) but it doesn't in itself correct behavior. look for corrections that are appropriate for the action, and remember it's often frustration due to inability to communicate effectively that causes toddler meltdowns, so preventing them from talking to you at all can make it worse. trust your sunshiney girl!
i kept hearing about how awful the teenage years are, but both my boys have been delightful teenagers. maybe you can have that with your little girl too.
:) khairete
S.

The No Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is GREAT! I'm reading it for the second time right now.

Good luck!