Toddler Blues

Hi J., I'm certainly no expert, but I would suggest that you investigate whether you son is getting enough quality sleep, both daytime and nighttime and also see if some foods he is eating might be causing this behavior. Check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth, MD. He has studies sleep issues in children for years. I was amazed at what I learned about the physiology of sleep and how sleep patterns change as a child matures. Lack of quality sleep is can certainly bring on the types of behavior you have described.

If your son has a food allergy or food reaction, this can also trigger behavior issues. It is possible that he might be eating new foods containing additives, food colorings, high fructose corn syrup or other triggers of food allergies/reactions like wheat, sugar, soy, eggs, nuts, chocolate, dairy. I don't know of a specific book that deals with this issue in children, but I can recommend "The False Fat Diet" by Elson Haas, MD. Don't let the title make you think it's just a diet book. It has wonderful info on food allergies/reactions and ways to eliminate them from the diet, then reintroduce them one by one to see what is causing the problems.

Another thought... toddlers have incredible amounts of energy and need to run, play, excerise! Wear him out.

My sister in law swears by "The Happiest Toddler On The Block". I haven't read that one, but her issues she was having with her 2-1/2 year old are improving after she implemented ideas from that book.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you all thebest. N.

"Terrible Twos" do not start when the child is exactly two. Nor do they end when they are exactly two. Terrible twos is when the child starts to "explore" their boundaries... sounds like your little one is going through that. Just be consistent!!!! VERY CONSISTANT. Don't say "no" one time then the next time, be all tired and worn out and just ignore it. Consistency is the best policy. He will outgrow it soon... but not soon enough!

I feel your pain!! It sounds like you need a breather. When i began noticing I was enjoying my children less, that is when i knew it was time for a little alone time. My kids love their MDO program. Some kids only go 5 hours per week, but mine go 10. It was a tough adjustment at first, but now they run in and don't even look back to say bye. I am so eager to pick them up at 2 pm!

Do you try to run errands with your son? Eating out? I have found that all that kind of stuff triggers fits. So, now, I do all my work and errands either at night or during MDO. If we want restraunt food, we normally call it in and eat at the park or bring it back to the house. It took my son until he was 3 1/2 before he thought it was "fun" to run errands and eat out. He is able to understand a reward system now, and that has made all the differece in the world. You have a long way go until that point, but it will come!! Until then, you may not control the fits, just conatin them. :) I liked the book Making the Terrible Twos Terrific!

All the best, Liz

Jennnifer,
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this! Our 2 year old is starting to really act out and my best friend's 2 yr old is a absolute nightmare to be around. I think that it must just be a stage where they are testing their limits and learning the bad with the good.
Is he bored, maybe? My daughter has decided that the best ways to get my attention are either by VERY loudly calling me by my first name or biting me. After the biting she immediately apologizes and gives me a hug. lol I wish that she would start with the hug!
My best friend was asked not to bring her daughter back to play group b/c she is so aggressive (pushing, hitting) with the other kids. They do not have a violent household and they are very loving gentle parents. Their daughter is just a bully right now. Time outs do not phase her. Leaving the situation completely doesn't phase her. She is really just one of those strong willed children that is going to do what she wants to do. This fact does not make my friend feel any better. I think that the thing that makes her feel the best is knowing that there are other moms out there going through the same thing.
My 14 yr old is also one of those strong willed children. Boy, they test your patience at every turn! I can't wait until she has her own strong willed child!!! (My mom wished triplets on me and then after Taylor, she said we were even!)
The things that I have found that work the best with Taylor are very definite limits and consistantcy. Parenting with Love and Logic is a fabulous book!!! I highly recommend it and it gave me an excellent resource when I wasn't sure how handle a situation.
I am also so sorry that you are enjoying him less. I have been there, too and so has my best friend. Have you thought about a mother's day out program just to give you a break. Maybe you both need a break. Adventure Kids PlayCenter is a drop in daycare. I have heard that it is fabulous!!! http://web.adventurekidsplaycare.com/about.html
But, I have never been there.
J., again I am sorry that you are going through this and please know that you are not alone!
Hugs,
C.