I have a 15 month old daughter who has recently (last two or three weeks) picked up the habit of hitting me and my husband. It started off that she would only hit when she would get frustrated but now hits while we change her clothes in the morning. When we tell her "no" and that "it hurts mommy", often she will hit again and laugh or smile. As you can imagine, this is very frustrating.
Does anyone have any ideas or advice to help nip this bad behavior in the bud? Thanks!
I would recommend reading Setting Limits by Robert MacKenzie. It has been helpful for all three of my kids when behavior stuff comes up.
On Feb. 6, 2008 at 9:00 pm on channel 30 Supernanny dealt with this same exact subject. I wish you could get your hands on a copy of that show.
For now, I recommend "time out" in the naughty corner.
Hi C.,
When my son was that age he started to hit also. We had never spanked him so we had no idea where it was comming from. I went to the store and bought one of those little bopit toys, the one that you blow up and hit it can be alot of fun for kids. How ever when I brought it home we told him he could only hit the toy not us and not the dog. Well the first time he hit it, it came right back at him , surprised the heck out of him. He never hit us or the dog again, let alone the toy. $10.00 well spent.
From T.
Mom of a sweet 15 year old boy.
I totally agree with the time out advice. My son once slapped my face at that age (tried it on his dad, too -- got to check those boundaries!). I told him in as few words as possible that it is never okay to hit someone, gave him a time out (a minute for every year of age, so ~1.5 minutes for your daughter), and did not give him any attention during his time out. I stayed close enough to make sure he didn't get up and scoot away from his spot on the floor, and then, when time was up, I explained to him that he had had a time out for hitting and that we do not hit in our family. We use our words. Then I asked him to apologize to me for hitting, and then I thanked him for apologizing and gave him a big hug. My husband followed the same steps when our son hit him. Our son has not hit us or anyone else (as far as we know, and he has been in preschool for over two years) since. In my opinion, the most important things are to understand that your daughter is testing boundaries -- totally normal; that the less emotion and attention you give this behavior, the less motivation she'll have to try again; and that swift, firm, appropriate, and consistent consequences go a long way towards curtailing bad behavior for most kids. The last two are not contradictory as long as you're matter-of-fact when giving her the consequence. I hope some of this helps!
My daughter is almost 15 months old and went through the same thing about a month ago. I also tried telling her that it hurt me and to redirect her into doing it to something else. That didn't work for her. I started putting her in a time out Pack N Play that is set up just for her time out's. She would go in there when she would bite, hit or scratch someone and also when she would throw a fit when she was told no about something. This has worked really well after about a week of doing that. She hasn't had to have a time out in long time. Just asking her "Do you want a time out?" works now and she usually stops that behavior.
I have been through this with my 3.5 and going through it with my 18mo. I found that with consistency it gets better but takes time, love, and patience on our part as parents. I try not to use the NO word ( but it does come out now and then). But redirect. Continue to let her now "I don't like that" " that hurts momma" but also redirect her to what she can hit like a pillow or the couch. This also works with biting as well. ( you can bite your blanket, pillow, soft toys etc...) Good luck with this stage and whatever you decide to do.
Both my kids went through this stage. My son (4) and my daughter (22 months). Both did it when frustrated and during daily routines such as diaper changing and getting dressed. My daughter still does it once in a while (but now she is talking so she just tells me she doesn't like or want something!) They grow out of it!!!!
Good Luck!!!
That is a really common challenge at that age. The reason it pops up then is because at 15 months old, children have so much going on in their minds--but they don't have the ability yet to really verbalize it. So, when they get frustrated, rather than saying "mom I'm frustrated," they hit, bite, throw tantrums, etc.
I totally agree with the time out advice...and on top of that I would really start working with her to build up her vocabulary--especially to help her learn "feeling" words such as "I'm angry!" or "I don't like that!" ...any words that you think will help her to express how she's feeling.
Then, talk to her ahead of time about attaching those words to her feelings instead of hitting.
Best of luck! You'll get through this stage...no worries!
Well since she getting used to hitting you have to get her unused to it, by standing firm with your no!Let your nomean no.
