Toddler Loving Her Movies

Updated on January 17, 2008
S.M. asks from New Windsor, NY
23 answers

I am 25 years old with a 2 year old. Moms my daughter loves shrek 1-3 and is also in love with elmo in grouchland. She requests to watch it all the time. My daughter does not watch alot of regular tv and we all play together in her room. We love to spend quality time with our two year old expecially now that we are expecting a new baby. I mean she loves to watch them over and over. When she does watch she still plays in between she just doesn't sit there like a zombie. My mother feels it is undisciplined and I don't think anything is wrong. What do you moms feel?

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D.A.

answers from New York on

My daughter is the same exact way and loves all of the same DVD's. I, personally, think it's fine as long as it's not every day, all day long....."everything in moderation".

If you watch it with her and talk about what's happening on the screen, I think that she can learn more from what she's seeing + hearing - rather than leaving her to watch it alone. That's what I've read at least in parenting magazines....

I also "TIVO" some shows for her to watch like SESAME ST. and DORA and YO GABBA GABBA and my feelings are that as long as she's NOT watching any commercials at all (which you can fast forward w/ the TIVO taping) - her brain won't "rot" as much....the shows themselves are really educational + positive!

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Too much of anything is never good, but moderate amounts tv balanced with other activities is fine. Seems to me that's what you're doing so I wouldn't worry. I wouldn't leave the tv on all day, but a few shows here and there are fine. You need the break too!

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M.K.

answers from Syracuse on

I know this is an issue where many people have very storng points of view, so I will start with mine: I do not think TV is a bad thing as long as it is both in moderation and parents are controlling what is being watched. I think it can turn into a bad thing if it is on too much or the wrong thing is consistently put on. My daughter just turned two at the end of last October and I have given this issue a lot of thought.

With that being said, as long as movies are not on from morning till night, your daughter will be just fine. My daughter loves watching both Dora and Diego. If we are at home all day sometimes she will watch an episode or two, just as yours does though, while playing and going back and forth. There are occasional days where she will watch more than two episodes, but not many. Then there are days where she will watch no TV whatsoever. I noticed soem people commenting on Shrek, I will say that my daughter has seen those movies with me, she just never hung on to them as yours did, so as long as you feel it is appropriate for your daughter, then it is, period! I am a big fan of both Dora and Diego though, they both do seem to teach my daughter a lot of things she wouldn't otherwise know. She can say about 15 spanish words including counting to 6. If you ask her what her favorite animal is she responds with "a pigmy marmosette!" My only advice would be to try to persuade her to go for something that is a bit more educational, Blue's Clues is another good show in my opinion, my daughter is not into that one though.

If you really want the TV off, get some CD's, I have The wiggles CD, the soundtrack to My little mermaid, and a few Cd's full of old nursery rhymes and such that my daughter loves to play!

Tell your mom that she is your kid and while you respect her opinion on the matter, you will do what you want and she doesn't need to criticize. I feel like I've written a book here! Hope something in this rant helps!

A few links not criticizing TV watching, for toddlers over two.

http://www.seattlechildrens.org/home/about_childrens/pres...

http://www.stjohn.org/HealthInfoLib/swArticle.aspx?1,1881

AND JUST TO ADD A COMMENT ON THE ADHD ISSUE:

Kids now are not watching anymore TV than they did years ago, probably less now since our parents were never told it was bad, and the old cartoons are violent! So are we being too quick to put labels on our children such as ADHD now? Because there can't possibly be this many more cases blamed on TV. Anyone feel free to message me on thsi topic if you feel I am wrong, maybe I am missings omething but it doesn't add up to me.

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A.E.

answers from Utica on

I grew up on tv--game shows, cartoons, even the prime-time action shows I'd watch with my dad. Heck I even was allowed to watch horror flicks that were on tv, though I always knew I was too young for those. I graduated college and am working on a master's degree so I can become a teacher. I loved to read. I loved to draw and write. I still enjoy all these things and I still watch TV. It's really not a big deal. This is especially true if your kids are playing and doing other constructive things while the tv is on. As long as they're not watching rated R movies, it's fine.

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

i know how you feel...my mother's been on my case since my daughter was born that a child shouldn't watch ANY tv until they are 2yrs old...well, since my daughter could fight me to roll over and watch what we watch (about 2-3 months old) she's been watching. since then we've been trying to only watch disney channel so she only got educational stuff to watch (and discovery type channels when it was non educational on disney). now she watches noggin from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed (with an occasional "me" time in her crib watching carebears, disney taped, or something like that). i have a problem with quiet, i need tv as background noise, so i just make sure it's educational. we're constantly playing with something, and she actually is at the level as my friends kids who are 1 yr older then her because of all these shows that teach. i don't think it's a problem to have your child watching tv as long as they still play, and you still spend time with them. the problem comes when a parent just plops a kid down infront of the tv to use as a "babysitter" and does nothing else with a child. i think you're fine with what your doing as long as it's appropriate (which it sounds like it is) and you keep playing and have quality time together, then you're doing just fine!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Dear S.,

Hi! I am a 31 year old single mom of a little girl who will be 2 in March. I have often thought about what I would do in a situation similar to yours if I had a second child. I think that the fact that your child can entertain herself by watching these movies could be helpful when it comes to having the "competition" arrive. I know that my little one can be quite jealous of other little ones who show me attention. Watching a movie can be somewhat of a reward for good behavior. For instance, if the baby needs a diaper change, you could ask, "Sweetheart? Mommy needs help changing the baby's diaper. Could you be a GOOD BIG SISTER and help Mommy with that? Then we can all watch Shrek together OR you could watch it by yourself." It may help to give her a decision she can make for herself as well (the by herself or together). As far as your mother's comment about this being "undisciplined"...what is undisciplined about this and why would you discipline a child for doing something she enjoys? Take it from me...my mother is one of the most difficult people to get to "back off". Your mother will always tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing with your child because she IS your mother and HAS ALWAYS told you what is right and what is wrong, what to do and not to do. She will never grow out of that and whether you want to believe it or not, you will do the same to your daughter some day. My mother is the same way. I ignore it unless it gets to be too much and then I will thank her for her "input" but I AM THE MOTHER and I will decide what is right and what is wrong. I also remind her that I will not always make the right decision as a parent but neither did she and we all learn from our mistakes. In other words, ask her to "butt out" in only a way you know how to handle your mother, without causing an arguement.

Good luck to you!
A. B

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

My oldest did that but with the wiggles movies. It is fine. She grew out of it. She is not intellectually stunted. She is physically active and incredibly intelligent.

TV/movies are not the evil that some make it out to be. As long as you can balance it with activities it is ok. Everyone needs down time and my kids use TV as part of theirs. When I feel they've had enough, they either go outside or to their rooms to play.

My only criticism would be that Shrek is not really age appropriate for a 2 year old. I won't let my 5 year even watch it.

A.

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi Safia,

Just have fun with your babies!!

you blink and then they're gone!!

As long as she is not turning into a zombie, let her

watch her favorites, and get some others so they will

soon be her favorites too!!!

K. B.

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C.L.

answers from Buffalo on

I know you want to do what is best for your child and sometimes that means not giving her what she wants. You as the parent know it's not good for her and have to stand firm, whether we're talking about eating a bag of candy, playing in a dangerous place, watching hours of videos/t.v., etc.

Discipline has nothing to do with this, brain development does. I've enclosed a link to help explain why "young" children may be harmed sitting in front of a screen, whether it's playing xbox, watching t.v. or videos, or using a computer.

http://www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.asp?slug=ADHD%20T...

Don't take my word for it, just google brain deveopment in toddlers and t.v.

There are SO many other things for your toddler/preschooler to be doing that won't potentially harm them. It's just time to get creative and not give into the whining.

I know there are books out there such as 1001 things to do with your child, for instance, that may help. Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from New York on

My three year old son LOVES the shreik movies too AND elmo in grouchland. My daughter will somewhat watch them too (she's 15 months). I really don't think it's a big deal... and anyone that does should lighten up. My kids are both very well rounded, none of those movies have effected them in any sort of bad way. My son can write him name and spell over six words, he also has a memory of an elephant. My daughter says somewhere between 7 to 10 words etc... I could go on and on, my point of this info isn't to brag about my kids though ~ it's to explain in more detail why I don't think there's anything wrong with them, or your daughter, watching these movies. Take care and good luck with the baby on the way! (Mine are two and a half years apart.)

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J.M.

answers from New York on

S. honey...you are right. I don't think anything is wrong with it. She likes the repetition. It is her comfort zone. Hearing it in the background a familiar and funny voice. We do it as adults too. How many times do you have the tv on while you are cleaning? You aren't watching it but it is nice to have it on, or the radio for that matter. As far as what you mom says, things are not the same as when we were kids. We had EVEYRTHING different. Each generation has thier crosses to bare but we all survive it. What works for you will not work for others. My brother watched Batman 4 times a night EVERY night for 2 years. I hated it. But that is what comforted him. He just got a scholarship to college for basketball and has excellent scores on every other subject. Those who pass judgement on parenting skills are feeling guilty. You are fine!

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C.C.

answers from New York on

This is very normal for her age. I would not be worried, with a new baby coming her love for movies my be a god sent : )

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J.F.

answers from Syracuse on

You sound like a mother who is intune with her daughter.
i can understand what your sister is worried about and it is something that is abounding throughout our society. With the creation of TV and now video games etc., the creative minds have lessened. Although Seseame St is one of the better shows for children they have been doing long term research and are finding that even that show is promoting children to thrive to be entertained rather than to use the parts of their brain condusive to such things as creativity. If being entertained by technicolor is their entire world, the likelihood of the "real" world (absent of the bright primary colors and the entertaining characters) in later years to bring on depression, thrill seeking and escape behavior is more apt to happen. If a child spends alot of time in front of the TV they can begin to relate to the characters as if they are "real" and make bonds to them and not to the people around them. If social skills continue to not take place as they mature relationship building and all that goes with it can go unlearned. Kindergarten's main function is to teach children to socialize, learn to sit and follow directions. There are many neglected children out there and now there is preschool and head start to show a child what a book is, or what it is like to make eye contact with another human.
Most content things children overlook. If it's not apart of their daily life many things don't register that sometimes we are upset at what it may do to them. As i said you seem to have a good handle and relationship with your daughter. No matter what anyone says use your own judgement! IT WILL BE THE RIGHT ANSWER! My suggestion: see if you can get your daughter enthused about a human doll instead of a cartoon character. This will be esp good with the coming of your new arrival. You both can share taking care of your family.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

My daughter who is 4 yrs old loves to watch t.v. since she was about 2 but just like yours she never stayed still to watch a show or movie till the very end and till this day she still doesn't. My opinion is that I control what she watches and she is not addicted to it because she is being entertained by other things. In other words I rather have her move around the house or play with toys while watchin t.v. or a movie than her sitting in front of the t.v. like a zombie. I personally don't think that she is being undisciplined by not sitting for the whole movie, she is just 2 years old and she has LOTS to explore in her new life. Just remember that you must continue giving her the same amount of attention and play time once the new baby is here. Obviously, the play time should be shared between you and your husband because we all now babies are time consuming. Good luck and enjoy your beatiful family!

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T.W.

answers from New York on

My son was exactly like that. He could work the VCR when he was 18 months old. He watched a number of shows over and over...like Emmett Otter's Junkband Christmas...Ghost Busters, He-Man and Skeletor, Alvin and the Chipmonks. He was so engrossed in Sesame Street that by the age of 4 we actually helped him become a member of the cast. He did a few shows and was in the cast pool for 4 years. Then he got to be too old. As an older kid, he would watch same movies over and over. He eventually went to college and majored in Communication / Media studies. He graduated last year. He now is an Editor for a large movie & TV production company in Manhattan and making a lot of money. His little sister is a Junior in the same college...majoring in the same thing...and interning with her brother. She will eventually get a job in the same company. Both intend to be in front of the camera as well as behind it. I think it turned out very well. They got a lot of ideas from those shows that they watched over and over.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

I am a Nana to a 6 year old little girl who is reading at a third grade level. She is so smart she scares me at times! She was a fan of children's movies (Shrek being one of them) and watched them over and over again. As long as it doesn't go on for hours on end and they are getting outside for exercise and doing plenty of other things, I wouldn't be concerned. Children love movies. My 30 year old son had the Pirate Movie memorized as a young child. He could say the lines word for word as the movie went along. We knew he had a good memory! Don't let other people tell you how to raise your children. Remember that as their mother you know what is OK for your child better than anyone else. I always said "Thank you for your opinion" and then did what I thought was best. Good luck with the new baby.

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A.H.

answers from El Paso on

My older kids ages 5 and 6 have always been interested in certain movies and Yes somedays they were on over and over. But like your daughter they would not just sit there and watch the whole thing, they were constantly leaving the room to go play, but as soon as I would shut it off they were back. lol
I found out that it was the sounds and music in some movies that they liked. So I went and got some CDs with toddler songs and they both loved that. They still watched some of their favorite movies, but we also listened to the CDs together.
Watching the movies over and over didn't scar their imaginations one bit, now they play with their toys and do arts and crafts a lot more then they watch TV or their movies.
I too would be a little concerned with the Shrek movies, My kids loved anything Elmo, wiggles, and veggie tales. Right now it is Dora, Deigo, Disney Princesses, and Thomas the tank engine. LOL
Good Luck!!!

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G.R.

answers from Albany on

My son who is now 3 1/2 went through the Shrek stage, all day, every day, 100 times a day, and then moved onto other movies. He is my youngest, I have a almost 20 yr old and 17 yr old. They did the same thing. I do not see anything wrong with this. My oldest is now a second year Marist student on the Dean's list. I really don't think it harmed him much :)
If it makes her happy and give you some peace for a while, then go for it.

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S.S.

answers from Rochester on

My son will be 2 in March and is the same way with the Shrek movies. It's the only thing that will hold his attention and he requests them over and over and over. I'm not sure what it is about these movies! I feel very guilty about the time he spends watching these movies but I try to limit it to bedtime when he needs to settle down anyway and morning when he gets up and isn't quite awake (he'll usually finish the movie we started the night before) - I figure as long as it's limited and isn't TAKING THE PLACE of other activities it's fine. It could be worse - a different movie that's not kid appropriate or using the TV as a babysitter. Trust your instincts and know that you're not alone.

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S.M.

answers from New York on

hi S.,

i don't think there is anything wrong with some tv time & it sounds like she is getting a good balance of playtime & tv time. trust yourself mom! sounds to me like you are doing a great job!

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M.B.

answers from New York on

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her wanting to watch movies over and over.....and in the interim losing interest and doing something else. She is 2 for heaven's sake! Children at that age like repetition, we've all experienced it! How many times did your mom sit and sing the ABCs or the Itsy Bitsy Spider with you until you knew it by heart and then still sang it with you once you knew it? After 20 mins of Shrek at age 2 my daughter had enough and wanted to do something else. Time will come where she will have the desire to sit longer and appreciate a show. Again she is only 2! Tell your mom to hold back the disciplinary police, it's all gonna be fine!

Good luck,
Shel

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J.R.

answers from New York on

My 18 month old loves to watch the Barney shows that are about 20 minutes long. Sometimes he watches them intently but other times he gets bored and he plays and does other stuff and it is just background noise. They (whoever "they" are)say that kids shouldn't watch so much TV because it causes ADD because of the constant movement of the characters. I am not sure how true this is but I think as long as there is a limit it can't be that harmful. Especially because they are watching shows meant for kids!

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

I agree with the others that Shrek isn't really appropriate for a 2 year old, however, by the time she realizes what they are saying she will probably like something else anyway. I don't see a problem with tv being on in the background as long as, like you said, she is not just vegging in front of it. Your mom feels differently because she grew up in a different time, when there was more outside play then tv. If you feel like you need to pacify your mom then get the soundtracks, and play those instead of the movie when your mom is around. Your daughter will probably be just as happy.

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