Toddler Meals

I am a firm believer that children should eat what the adults are eating. My son was always fed what I was eating with each meal (with the exception of really spicy food). He now eats everything except tomatoes. Children will not starve themselves, I promise. I would personally switch your daughter from milk to water. Milk (even organic milk) is full of growth hormones that are designed to grow a baby cow, not a human child. Calcium can be obtained through many other sources, including green leafy veggies.

Children only end up being picky eaters when their parents allow it. I went to China in 2003 when I was pregnant with my son. The chinese people eat a diet that is mostly vegetables, meat and rice. I asked a local Chinese woman if she knew anyone that didn't like vegetables (since it was a huge portion of their diet) and she couldn't think of a single person, not one! Now think of how many children and even adults in the USA that don't like vegetables.. It's 100% cultural, if you don't eat veggies in China, you don't eat. If you don't eat veggies in the USA, you parents give you chicken nuggets.

Some of the other responses think that her pickiness is related to your daughters extended nursing. I think these people have hang-ups about extended nursers. My son also nursed until he was 3 and never had a problem transitioning to an all food diet.

In response to what another woman wrote above me.. I DO NOT think that you should HIDE healthy foods, ever. Once you start hiding the healthy foods kids gets the idea that we expect them to think healthy foods taste bad. Kids live up to the expectations of the adults around them. They are more influenced by what they think they're supposed to eat rather than what they actually like. My son gets full servings of all veggies, including things like kale and meat in every form (appealling or not).

Kudos to you to being able and have the time to make everything from scratch and provide good things for your family. It is hard to do all of that.
I think it is completely reasonable for you to expect your daughter to eat what you eat. Kids will always ask for and demand things that they really should not have and will go on "hunger strikes" when they don't like things.
A simple solution would be to only offer her a choice of things you want her to eat(like, "which do you want, an apple or a piece of cheese) and if she says no, cracker, tell her the options again. If you daughter doesn't want to eat the options, then let her know that when she is hungry, they will be available for her. Eventually she will be hungry enough to eat what you offer. Also, limit the amount of milk she drinks. Milk can fill her up temporarily. One thing I did for my daughter is that if I know she doesn't like what we are eating, but likes parts of what we are eating, I deconstruct the meal for her so basically she is eating the exact same thing and I am not making extra/different foods just for her. For example, if I make tacos or a casserole, which she won't eat, I just separate everything and give it to her that way and more often than not, she eats it all. I think she just likes things separate, not together, which I completely understand because I am kind of the same way.
The one thing good about young children is that they won't starve themselves and typically do not over eat, so just stick to what you want to do and eventually it will work.
I think it is pretty typical for toddlers/preschoolers to eat irratically. I posted a request a few days ago about my daughter and her eating habits. Lately she just wants to snack. I took some good advice from other moms, but also realized a lot of this stage is normal.
Keep up the good work of offering your family such healthy options. Best to you.

FYI: check with your doctor about the excessive amounts of milk. Too much milk (non-mom milk) can cause serious anemia in children.

She should limit her milk to only what the doctor recommends for this age it's like 16-24 oz. A DAY.
She will fill up on the milk, but it goes through her faster.
Will she eat eggs? That is a good whole food option that is protien and takes longer to digest, making her feel fuller longer. Try different egg options at dinner time. Peanut butter on toast is good too.
Refried beans on a tortilla.
Give her water when she's thirsty.

Good luck. And you must be kidding about the bread, right?
If you can all your own produce, you surely have time to make bread. It's so easy.

How about not letting her graze all day long? Meal times are just that, meal times. A snack inbetween is good, but it's a snack. A piece of fruit, a pudding, graham cracker with peanut butter, raisins. She's nursed for a long time and transitioning is going to be difficult. She grew accustom to the closeness and attention that you gave her while feeding her. Now she's on her own. You could involve her in meal preparations. Pot pies are inexpensive to buy or to make from scratch. Crusts could be fashioned from mashed potatoes. Let her stir the ingredients together for muffins. Let her wash her fruits and/or vegies. Let her pick out what's for dinner for everyone and talk while you do it. How much food Daddy needs to do all the work he does, same with you and your 'bottomless pit' teenage son. Teenagers are always hungry!! You need to remember you're the Mom and set some guidelines. Right now she's running you and you've got to direct her to where you want her to be. Canning and freezing all your own fruits and vegetables, processing all your meats is great!!! That's how we did things when I was growing up. But my Mom wasn't a short order cook when it came to family meals. We ate what was on the table. I relented somewhat with my 3 kids, but we sat down to the table and ate what we all agreed upon for the lunch or dinner. Personal tastes were always taken into consideration, but everyone had to try what was offered. If the majority didn't like it, it wasn't on the menu for a while. Food allergies have come into play, so somethings will never be served in our house because of the severity. Be flexible, but firm. Graze no more, definite meal and snack times. All else fails, talk with your pediatrician's office, they may have a dietician on staff that can offer some other suggestions.

My 2 1/2 year old is the same way - she wakes up starving, eats two or three meals through lunch, then very little the rest of the day and usually not much at dinner. She also has narrowed her list of what she will eat to about 25 different foods. I was really frustrated for a while, but after reading lots of posts and talking to lots of moms, I realize that this is normal and she will eventually grow out of it, as long as we don't pressure her too much and keep giving her health choices. So, here's what I've done:

1. Have her sit at the dinner table with us for at least a short time, even if she doesn't eat. Sometimes I put food on her plate, other times I don't but just give her the option to ask for what she wants from what is on the table.
2. Cook foods out of the Deceptively Delicious and Sneaky Chef cookbooks that have "hidden healthy" ingredients and are kid-friendly. We've had modest success with those.
3. Enlist her in cooking where I can. Sometimes if I give her a cutting board and a butter knife and some vegies to "cut" some of them end up in her mouth. Also, we make a lot of muffins and quick breads with added carrot, zucchini or squash plus raisins and nuts and apples or cranberries. I also add flax seed and wheat germ, and those little muffins are just nutrition bundles - a win for everyone!
4. Give her vitamin and whole foods supplements daily. The vitamins she'll take on her own in a liquid form, the whole foods supplements I hide in smoothies or popsicles that I make myself.
5. Give her a snack before bed, usually oatmeal or a bran muffin and a glass of milk. This has really helped with sleep issues!

Good luck!

best
K.