Hi Mamas,
We're having what I guess is a common issue with my 21-month old daughter.
Many days, she just does not go to sleep for naps. I will put her in the crib, and she will play, sing and chatter happily for an hour. Sometimes she falls asleep near the end of the hour and does end up napping.
Bedtime is around 7:30/8:00 most nights. She usually sleeps about 11-1/2 hours, I'd guess. Naps, when they happen, are only about an hour long, I think (it's hard to tell when she actually drifts off).
The problem is this: If she doesn't nap, she becomes very whiny, clingy and crabby in the late afternoon, just in time for me to cook dinner. That makes me think she still *needs* a nap of some sort. BUT If she does nap, she won't go to sleep at night. She'll play in her crib for up to two hours. When she does this, she wakes up only a little later than normal and is groggy (smaller appetite, needs more snuggle time, etc) than if she had gotten a "good" night's sleep. That makes me think that a nap interferes with her ability to fall asleep at night.
Any suggestions? Should I just let her give up the nap and continue to have a daily quiet time in the crib? Should I wake her up if she falls asleep? Or would you just move bedtime later and let her sleep?
It sounds like she still needs a nap. What time are you putting her down? I had to occasionally change my kids schedule to adjust to their needs. I would suggest lunch at 11:30 and nap at 12 - 12:30. That way she can still get in a nap but not have it too close to bedtime.
Good luck.
My daughter will be two next week and we've had similar days but not consistent. I am a big fan of having 'quiet time' even when naps aren't taken. I believe that you as the mom, need the quiet time and space away from them to rejuvenate yourself while she has her space and time away from you. I find it frustrating when she doesn't nap and starts the whine/tantrum ordeal so sometimes, I put her back in bed and give her some time to recollect herself. It changes daily but my thoughts are as long as she is happy, let her and you enjoy the quiet time. Naps might come back, maybe move the nap up earlier in the day (instead of 12:30, make it 12), add a little time outside in the morning or another stimulating activity, sometimes if we change up the activity we are doing she has an attitude change like if we've been home all day and then leave for awhile. In my opinion, stick to her bedtime routine without wavering and give her consistent naptimes/quiet times. Good luck!
It sounds to me like your daughter is ready to drop her nap. I'd try putting her to bed earlier, around 7 and see what happens. When my son dropped his nap, we did this and he was in a much better mood, and still slept until around 7 in the morning. Good luck!
Id say she probally still needs her nap, Or put her to bed earlier?
My son who is 23 months bedtime 630ish sleeps 10-12 hours at night and a 1 1/2 to 3 hour nap daily.
We always try to let them get outside for at least 30 min a day also which helps tire them out!
Oh, K.,
I so hear you here. My daughter, now 27 months, has been the EXACT same way since about 21 months, as well. I do not know what it was that triggered the no nap phase but I do wish she was still doing it! Just like yours, she stays up, plays in her crib, talks to herself in that cute little chatter, sings, etc. At first, she did the same as yours, drifts off to sleep just before I come to get her; now however, she just doesn't even try unless she is truly sleepy (which when I think she is truly, she still doesn't nap!). It used to upset me something fierce because around dinner, the tantrums start. Now, 6 months later, I am used to it and just let her roll on the floor with her loveys while she tells me "Mommy, I tiward!". I say, I know, maybe tomorrow, you will sleep during naptime - all while knowing we begin the same thing tomorrow! I wish I had advice for you, some kids are just this way. My son, who is now 4 1/2 and doesnt nap at all anymore, did the same thing but he actually did start napping again around 3YO but it was light naps and if I came in, he was immediately up. All I can tell you is to not let it get to you - just keep putting her in there, if she sleeps, she sleeps. I call it "quiet time" now instead of nap time so they feel that they have a choice - it worked with my son (like I said he began napping a bit when he was older). You might try to take her outside for a walk or something- maybe the fresh air will help. Sometimes does with my girl.
I have noticed that she does go straight to sleep on those days that she doesn't nap and stays up on days that she does - to tell you the truth, I rather prefer her go straight to sleep at night than stay up late.
I know it is a hassle and frustrating that just when you start dinner, that is the time she turns into a bear but keep your cool and just tell her that she should have napped earlier but bedtime is just around the corner! You are not alone and, I will think of you today about 5:30 when I start dinner! :-)
L.
What I know for sure is that she still needs a nap! Whether she sleeps or not, she still needs that quiet break every day.
Kids often move through times when they will not sleep or sleep less or sleep more. A lot of times, it comes around growth spurts or just before a leap forward in milestones.
I think your bedtime is perfect for her age and wouldn't make it any later. My 4 yr old plays at nap and bedtime in his room. Sometimes for up to 2 hours before he falls asleep. I'm fine with it as long as he stays in his room and is somewhat quiet and happy. It's a phase and it will pass. Stick to a bedtime routine as much as possible! It really really helps!
This is the same situation that has been taking place (on and off) in our house. My son is 27 months, sleeps very well at night, and used to nap very predictably for 2-3 hours a day. He also talks, sings, rolls, jumps, in his crib (we are on the verge of switching to a toddler bed and think that this may be part of his need for a change) and sometimes does not fall asleep. Lately, I have been trying the following and it seems to have helped: during lunch, I play soft quiet music and start talking in a very calm, quiet voice. Then, after lunch we go straight upstairs to get ready for a nap. I continue using a calm voice and try to encourage him to use a quiet, calm voice as well. We avoid any silly play, but we do read a few books and say goodnight to his toys, books, and a picture of his Dad (who is at work). Then, right before I put him down, I talk to him a little about how to help himself go to sleep: "close your eyes, take a deep breath, relax, think about people and things you love (sometimes we make a list), and think about things you want to dream about." Often, he will get rowdy and silly as soon as I leave. If it continues, I often go back in after a while, remind him that it's time to sleep, sing him another song, and lay him down again. For the last week or so, that has helped him calm down and go to sleep, but I'm not counting on it lasting.
He gets a lot of stimulation and exercise in the mornings at daycare, so is usually quite tired. I find that getting him to bed soon after we get home really helps. If I wait too long, he passes through his tired-time and seems to wake up!
It also seems that lately any change in routine can disrupt naptime. His grandparents were here recently and he didn't nap while they were here, even though he was very tired. We realize that naptime might be on its way out, but are trying to maintain an afternoon "quiet time." Once he is in a toddler bed, we will probably change so that he can be in his room reading or playing quietly, even if he does not sleep. I feel the same sense of frustration . . . especially b/c I am pregnant and I need a nap most days, too!
Good luck!
Yes, nap time is probably on it's way out. Hard on you and your "nerves" in the evenings. She will soon develop the stamina and not be whinny in the evenings, but it will take some time. Quiet time is good, but not in the crib. Just give up the nap (sigh).
can you try modifying her schedule a little bit? My daughter usually does better with a later nap (her night time schedule is about the same as yours, and naptimes seem to work better if they are at 2 or 2:30) - otherwise its like she isn't tired enough yet and just stays up. But maybe your daughter needs an earlier nap, or a later one? (can you tell by looking at when she does fall asleep?)
maybe also plan something for that dinner time - like figure out ways for her to 'help', or maybe plan a small snack before dinner in case her crabbiness is hunger and not fatigue?
seems like she is still young enough to keep trying for the nap.
Good luck.
Toddlers are like little wind-up toys...you have to make sure they are fully unwound before attempting naps...meaning they need lots and lots of time to run and play. You can also try making naptime an hour later. Usually kids who sleep well during the day...and have plenty of energetic playtime sleep well at night.
