Toddler Question - Mobile,AL

Take control back. Now. You need to give him the sippy cup only at the sink or dinner table. after the drink take it back. As far as the walking around following you and whining. Nip that in the bud by giving him something to do If he is walking and having meltdowns it sounds like he is tired. Put him down for a nap. His acting like this is not because you are pregnant. he is 2 and doesn't really have any concept of what that means. He is in the terrible twos and needs to have a good routine. have breakfast, pick up the housework time, play time, lunch, nap more playtime, dinner bath and bed. I am not one of those moms who has ever allowed my children to dictate my day. So consequently my kids learned how to play on their own. I have a girlfriend who has a different parenting style. She allows her children to scream and have her total attention (the world ends if she does not immediately drop what she is doing to attend to them) when I care for her children at my home this behavior does not happen. I do not allow it. When a child has meltdown tantrums they are put immediately into time out. if you do that consistently and follow through the meltdown tantrums will stop. Good luck.

Welcome to the terrible twos! I thought we dodged the bullet because it hit late at our house--more like 3, but it sounds like your Terrible Twos are right on schedule, huh?
You're right about "getting control now" because now is when they are looking for boundaries & limits.
Get him involved in an activity and try to step away for a few minutes, the return and praise what he has done on his own.
Ignore the fits. He won't harm himself. Walk away. If you're holding him & he throws a fit...put him down.
Good luck!

Denise P hit the nail on the head...

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting a toddler. ☺
We all think this way at some point. There are so many people that don't discuss the parts of parenting that suck [until they're teens anyhow]. Just trust your gut and walk away to breathe if you need to!!!

Oh my two year does the exact same thing. When he he whinning wanting something he can't have I try to distract him with things he can have. Even if its something silly. like a wooden spoon, I just say "wow look at this what is this." usually he'll stop crying to see what is so exciting. when he throws tantrums, I tell him that he can be as mad as he wants but that will not get him anything and I walk away. I don't know what to do about the sippy cup. My son carries one around everywhere but he keeps it tilted up and it doesn't spill. things will get better. But don't expect it to intill after his sister is there because a new sibling is a big change and might make things a little worse for a while, at least this is what everyone has been telling me. My son's sister will be here in Jan.

The way I handled the whining and throwing fits was to take them to their room and tell them that I could not understand what they were saying. They could stay in their room for a minute then come out and ask their question or make their statement in a "normal" voice. If you are in public, the same concept works, just tell them they have to take a deep breath, wait a minute then they can speak. It takes a little bit, but they will get the picture.
As for the kicking and screaming fits, you need to leave the room. Make sure he won't hurt himself on anything, then leave the room. When he calms down, go and talk to him. Explain to him that it is not appropriate behavior and that it will NOT get him what he wants. If he does this in public, pick him up and take him to the car until he calms down. If he continues this behavior then make a punishment for it. It could be taking things away, time out to his room with no toys, etc. If it persists even more, you need to talk to his doctor, because there may be a problem.

Isn't this fun? When my son hit this stage, I thought I was going to hit the roof. Especially in public. It seemed like my little angel turned into a whiny fussy monster almost overnight. The good news is that this is a stage. The bad news is that it is NOT a short-lived stage. My son is on the tail end of it, mostly not whining or crying to get what he wants, and I think he's been going through it for about 8 months now?

I tend to ignore my son's tantrums. I tell him I can't understand him while he's screaming, and walk away. If it gets really bad, we have a "calm-down spot" where he goes to sit until he calms down. This is not time-out. It is not punishment, there is no apologizing (unless he hits or kicks or something). He can get up the moment his fit is over, he doesn't have to wait for me or anything, but he has to sit there while crying until he calms down. Lately (my son is 2 and a half) I have discovered that all I have to say is, "Do you need to go sit in your calm-down spot for a while?" and he stops crying.

I also pick my battles - I say no if I mean it, but I've tried to remember that I don't need to fight over every point. I don't need to fight with him if he asks for a healthy snack, even if dinner is in an hour, because it doesn't really hurt him to have carrot sticks now even if he "spoils his appetite" for dinner. Giving in sometimes and letting him make some decisions in his life gives him the feeling of control that he is trying to get with the tantrums, and so I try to consider my answer before I say no, and make sure that I actually care whether he does what he's asking or not.

For the sippy cup, consider limiting where he can have it (like a paci). My son is allowed to have his paci in his bed. That's it. Never outside of it. Some days, when he's sick or over-stimulated, he asks to sit in his bed for a few minutes sucking to calm down, and that's fine, but it happens less and less frequently as he gets older. The way you train this is you put the sippy cup in his bed (or wherever he seems to need it most) and remind him over and over and over again that it has to stay there (not cross, just matter of fact). If he cries for it, he can have it - in his bed. Put him in, and when he wants to get up again, tell him that he has to put the cup down in order to get up. It may take a couple of days to get him to understand the new rules, but as long as he can have the cup whenever he wants (as long as he meets your conditions), I have found with my kids that they adjust very quickly. For a while, he may ask to get into bed to have it regularly, but as life outside of bed becomes more interesting, you will most likely find that happens less and less.

Also, serve drinks at meal times in big-boy cups. No sippy, no spout (hard or soft). He'll spill a couple of times, but if you make a big deal about it, he'll be very proud that he's drinking out of a big cup.

Finally, this may get worse when you give birth, even if you get it under control now. The older sibling often regresses when a younger sibling is born. It's okay. The biggest point is to remain calm and in control and not to react to his tantrums, while giving LOTS of positive reinforcement when he behaves so that he realizes that the way to get your attention is to behave. However, he's two. You may not have this under control by the time the baby comes - and that's normal - so make sure you learn how to cope for yourself. He'll get over this eventually. Good luck!

Be a broken record. "Son, I need you to use words. I can't understand you when you whine like that. If you want something, use words." And then "You used your words very well! I'm proud of you. Now I know what you need/want."

Try another type of cup or new valves.

DD used to cry like the world ended when she was told no. Once my friend told all the kids to stop playing with a light switch and my DD melted. I told her that I'm sorry she's upset, but that no was no. If she then wanted to scream she could do it somewhere else. I also taught her to take a deep breath to calm down.

Hang in there.

Every time my litle girl starts screaming and crying like crazy she's taken to her room and she can come out when she's done. why don't you buy him a baby doll and teach him what to expect when lil sister arrive.

I have a 2 yr old as well & face many of the same issues....re: the sippy cups, I would only give him the option of the hard spout cups while he's running about. If he wants it bad enough, he'll use it. Just stick to less spoiling options, ie. not milk, finding do-it-yourself cottage cheese under the couch is never fun! Offer open cups (if able) or the sippys he likes at meal times or designated sit down times so he'll get what he needs & maybe it'll break the walkaround habit entirely if it's just too much bother. As far as the behavior, I agree w/ another responder to encourage him to communicate since many times that is the frustration. I like to remind her that screaming will not get her what she wants if I can't understand her, it doesn't always work but it feels great when it does for her AND me. I also find that if I give my DD little jobs to do while I'm busy, she's better & feels involved. Things like "could you put this paper in the trash?" or handing her a damp rag & asking her to wipe the table & adding LOTS of praise when she does. I think it may help too as baby #2 nears, to instill a sense of pride as your helper not necessarily because of the baby, since that might feel like pressure but just a feeling of being needed. We all need that! Good luck, & take comfort in the fact that you are not alone! I've had a few times myself where I've had to just set my kiddo down w/ full sippy, explain that mommy has to finish something (usually cooking, she hates when I work in the kitchen???) close the door for 5 minutes (glass door, & she usually ends up just staring at me til I'm done so I know she's not in any danger) Yeah, she does some kicking & screaming but she's safe from the stove & my frustration! ya do what cha gotta do!!!

What do you have in the sippy cups? I always just put water in my girls' sippy cups. We saved juice and milk for meal time only, while sitting at the table. Water the rest of the day. It doesn't matter if it leaks a little because it will just dry with no spoilage or stickiness. But if even that annoys you then just teach him that cups stay at the table. He can have a drink when ever he wants but the cup stays at the table.

I don't have much advice about the whining other than just keep playing with him and loving him when you can and know that it is a stage that will pass quickly. Just this morning I was remembering that we went through a really rough stage with my daughter when she was between 18-24 months. I do remember that we had a hard time, but for the life of me I can't remember what she was doing that made that age so hard for us. :-) She is 5 now and that time seems so long ago.

My son is also 2, and I think tantrums and fits are just part of a stage. Even if it is though, you can't let him think it's ok to pull fits, or he will only get worse. There are days my little guy drives me crazy too, and then I remember that I don't have to listen or even stress about the whining and fits. I tell Logan that he needs to stop his whining and be nice or he will have to go to his room/corner (whichever seems appropriate). If he doesn't stop, I send him to either place and he goes and screams until he is done. Then all of sudden he gets really quiet and tells me he is ready to be nice. He is still a little whiny and usually needs some lovin' afterwards, but he calms down and tells me what he wants and starts acting nicer. Sometimes he stays longer. I don't bother with putting on a timer anymore because he lets now me know when he is ready to be nice. I used to time him for 1-2 minutes. Any longer is just too long I think for little people.

I know that everyone is different, but my 2-year-old does not have sippy cups at all. We use a regular cup and the cup stays on the table. If he wants a drink, he can sit at the table and have one. He may not carry the cup around. This way, if he spills, it is only on the tile in the kitchen.

As for the whining, I think all kids do that. It drives me crazy, too, and if it is too out of hand, he has to go to his room or stand with his nose in the corner until he stops whining or crying. I am sure that some will think I am a terrible parent, but my child does not throw temper tantrums in Wal-Mart. Good luck!