Toddler Sleeping Issues

Hi D.,

Has anything in your house changed since the baby was born except the baby being there? Laundry detergent, bath and body products, new mattress, even eating habits???....any or all of these can be an irritant or stimulant. I think the anxiety of a new baby wears off pretty quickly so I would agree with you that it probably doesn't have anything to do with that.

If you think of any changes, let me know and I'll give you some more information that will help.

Regards,

M.

HA! My 3YO son said the EXACT same thing last week! Too Funny.

Anyway, my son also sleeps on the floor. He sleeps in his room, but only on the floor, not on the bed. I tried everything to get him to sleep in the bed, and then I gave up. He sleeps happily on the floor, so I let him. On occasion he still comes in our room in the middle of the night, but he just brings his blanket and pillow and makes himself comfortable on the floor. He doesn't wake us, so I stopped fighting it. That was my number one rule...if he wanted to be near us he could come and sleep on the floor, but was not allowed to wake us up (which up until then he had been doing). As long as we are all getting a good night's sleep I am happy.

D.,

My son is turning 3 in 2 weeks. He started waking up multiple times a night a few months after turning 2. I think they just go through another period of clingyness. I remember when my son was becoming a toddler and he didn't want me to be out of his sight much less in another room. The good thing is that I truly believe it's just another phase as my son is now sleeping through the night, in his bed again.

Hi, D.. Well, Honey, never underestimate the power of a new baby on the heart and mind of the older child. Just because he has adjusted to the change does not mean he is completely comfortable with it. His life is completely altered. His very identity is different. He has gone from being the baby of the family, the one and only child, to being the oldest child, the big brother. That is HUGE for a little kid! He may not know exactly who he is anymore, or what his place in the family is. Maybe you could get a children's book or two on this subject and read it together so that he can get some more information and see that it is not the end of the world. You can also explain to him what his role in the family is now, and you might have to explain it several times for him to grasp that.

Make sure he knows that you love him just as much as you ever did -- more, even, because you've loved him longer. Let him know that you and he will always have that special connection because he is your oldest child, and he will always have that special place in the family. That might be the reassurance that he needs.

There could be a number of factors in your son's sleep disturbances. Children go through a thing called Sleep Terrors, which are like bad dreams but very, very intense. Has he started anything big and new like preschool or daycare? Have there been any changes in the house or in your relationships? Is anybody close to the family ill or injured? Anything could be causing him anxiety, and even though he is talking, he probably doesn't have the vocabulary, the words, to explain it.

Maybe you could try drawing pictures with him. Both of you sit down with a box of crayons and draw the home, the family members, and so forth, and see what he does. Children his age communicate very effectively through their art.

Now, if the problem with the sleep disturbances is physical, that's a different story. Still, it can't hurt to let him know how much he is loved and needed in the family. Kids can also get hairline fractures -- you mentioned stress fractures -- and still walk around on that leg. Naturally, the pain would be worse at night because the blood and other fluids will have a chance to pool in the leg while he's lying down, and the swelling will cause more pressure -- if that's the problem. Children's Tylenol before bed might help him sleep for longer periods of time, but it will only work for about 4 - 6 hours. I hope the doctor can solve the mystery for you.

Peace,
Syl

I just wanted to address the pain in his leg issue--- Growing pains do not necessarily occur in both legs. I had them growing up and it was often in just one leg. Also, when I had them as a teenager (always in just one leg), a doctor told me it could be that my body was not utilizing potasium properly-- and once she said that I did notice that it happened when I'd eat a banana. Regardless, when a three year old complains of pain, he needs to see a doctor to rule out anything serious

How often are you having to go into their room during the night to tend to his little sister? Could it be that the rustling of items or changes in the lighting then are disrupting his sleep, maybe where he isn't getting into the deep cycle of sleep sometimes or rousing him out of the deep cycle early? Just curious, since you mentioned that he seems to sleep better on the couch.
Good that he is going to the doc next week. I had a friend whose daughter fractured something and it wasn't anything noticable. I've heard of kids getting fractures just jumping from the sofa to the floor for instance... nothing going wrong, just their little bones developing and the stress they endure sometimes. Good luck with that.
As a side note, our 6 year old woke up one day complaining about his legs hurting when he walked. He literally begged my husband to carry him b/c it hurt. We thought growing pains right away as my husband had them severely when he was a kid, but dismissed it. We thought, oh, he slept funny and has a cramp or something... we ended up taking him to the ER the next day b/c he STILL was complaining and refused to walk. Only hurt when he walked he said, and he couldn't extend his legs out straight to stand up. After HOURS in the ER and multiple tests and bloodwork they could find NOTHING. During the wait for lab results, he was hungry and thirsty so I went to the cafeteria area and bought crackers and a Powerade from a machine for him. He drank about a third of it, and within 20 minutes he was miraculously cured!! Never had a problem again. It was weird. I guess somehow his electrolytes were out of balance. He had been drinking mostly water the day before for some reason I don't recall... maybe was fighting off a cold or something and I was trying to keep him hydrated. But just for laughs, you might give him an electrolyte drink and see if it helps... It can't hurt anything. I still puzzle over the episode with our son. Never has recurred.. that was almost 4 years ago.