Toddler Throwing food..but Wants to Feed Himself

I used to give my kids (all 4 of them!) cheerios on their tray while I was feeding them, as well as their own spoon. That way they can feed themselves, but feel independent at the same time, which is all they want at this age.

My daughter does the exact same thing, so we do it "together". I have a spoon, but so does she. While she's scooping, flinging and squishing- I'm able to sneak a few bites in- hopefully that'll work for you too!

My kiddo is younger than yours but is doing the same thing. I've been reading up on it and it's totally natural. They are learing cause and effect ("what will happen if I throw this?") They are also learning "if I throw this on the floor what sound will it make? Some thing "splat", some things roll, some things clang". Also, they are figuring out "what will mommy do? Will she pick it up and give it to me again?? What a fun game this is!"

I give my daughter a spoon and fork, she plays with them, she throws them, but she is figuring out to poke things with the fork. My husband and I eat with her at least 6 days a week. She watches us and how we use them, I think that's important. Most food will wind up on the floor, but as long as something gets in the mouth, I'm not too concerned.

One thing I'm also doing, is if my daughter throws her sippy cup for instance, I chalk that up to an accident, but I tell her "don't throw your sippy cup again, mommy will not give it back to you". She seems to understand this. My tone is stearn and I get up close to her face and am totally serious. And I back it up, if she throws it again, it's gone.

This is just my experience. Hope it helps! Every kid is different, so good luck!!

The best solution I have heard for this type of problem is to create a "calm consequence" to his actions. Let him choose to feed himself, but as soon as he begins to play with his food tell him, "oh, well dinner time must be over" and calmly take his plate away and begin to clean up. There will be protest, but if no food is the consequence to playing with food, I bet you he will pretty quickly stop playing with his food and eat it instead.

I was all about encouraging self sufficiency! I would give your child a fork and only one piece of food at a time on the table/tray and make a game out of it. Have him say "Hiya" each time he stabs the food and then encourage him w/ "mouth, mouth" or help his hand to place the food in his mouth. If he throws it, or freaks out when you help him say "no,no" and try to feed him a few bites with your fork and repeat the process. Good luck.

I used to have this same problem :). To remedy, i would put food on a spoon and give it to my son. As he was eating with the first spoon, i would put food on a second spoon and switch out when he was done with the first. It was still messy, but i didn't have the bowl issue to contend with cause it was never within his reach.

Wow, a really tactile and experimental age, eh? There are some bowls out there in mail-order catalogs with suction cup bottoms that might thwart him. As for the throwing, my own son did the same. First it was his sippy cup, over and over, which helped us discover some dripless, valveless ones. Then when the sippy was thrown, we'd say the cup would have to go to time-out if it kept flying. When it fly again, we'd always say, "Cups don't fly. Time out" and put it away from him on the table within his sight for a minute or less. That eventually worked. With throwing food, you might try decreasing the stimulation by offering just a couple pieces of things at a time, directly on his tray. Or some suggest you should say,"Oh, I guess you don't want anything now," and put him down out of his highchair. If he protests, or after a short while, try again.

T.,

My son is a little bit younger than yours, but I understand your frustration! What I did was I got some of those bowls with the suction cup bottoms and put that on the tray and when it was feeding time I gave him food that was not so eay to squash (cheerios) and put him in an area that I knew would be easy to clean. When Tyler startd to throw the cheerios, I just let him. I totally ignored him but once all his cheerios were gone he DID NOT get more. By lunchtime he was so hungry that he gladly let me feed him. Dinner came around and, again, I let him try to feed himself. He ate at first but quickly started sqishing it. As before he did not get more food. By breakfast he was hungry and we went around a circle of eating and not eating. In less than a week I had him broken of this bad habit and now he is doing much better. He still has those days, but overall it's much easier for the both of us.

hello let him feed his self just dont give a lot in his bowl at a time. also sit there and eat with him. they have to learn to feed themselves. and yes it will be messy but not as bad if you just put small amount at a time. hope this will help you good luck.

Hi T.,

My son did this. We took the bowl (or plate) away and put the food directly on the tray. Then, we got smart and fixed his plate, but didn't give it to him, but gave him 1 or 2 bites at a time. If he threw 2 in a row, we'd say, "all done!" If he wasn't, he'd say no. By limiting the amount of food, it limited clean up and it didn't look like a toy.

As for the "hat" comment, if you laugh, he'll keep doing it. Take it away and say something like, "no hat, yuck germs". Then, put it back down.

Good luck!! It gets better.

My son, 21 months has been feeding himself for at least 6 months now. We have "baby" forks and spoons. He has easily mastered the use of them. He feels like he is a big boy and does a good job of eating. I do allow him to use a "salad" fork when we do not have the baby ones. He does just fine. He still does use his fingers when he can not get the food on the fork/spoon.

don't give up he'll stop...one day. My son, 22mos, did the same thing. First, don't let the mess bother you, it can be cleaned up. I would give my son his food without a bowl or plate, when possible, just right on the table or highchair tray. Sure, there were times he'd grab the food and throw it (and I'm sure there's more food throwing in my future), but if he did that I would remove him from the table, tell him that's a no-no and once he's ready to eat then we'll go back to the table and try again. At this point the only messes I clean up are accidents that are normal in learning to feed yourself, but the tossing/throwing has stopped.

good luck

I would tell him if he wants to play then he's not hungry, then take the food away and take him out of the high chair. That's what worked for my son (now 17). He'll figure out real soon that if he wants to eat then he better just eat.

Maybe it's the age, my son does the same thing. He's been feeding himself for many months but has now started this same pattern. He just turned 20 months on Wednesday.

T.,
Don't worry, it's just a learning process. Be patient and try to explain to him the correct thing to do. He will eventually get the picture. When it's a new thing it's got to feel it out. After the new wears off he will be more receptive to the right thing to do. I used to put my daughter on the carport, in good weather of course, and just let her do whatever she wanted, then hosed off the carport and the highchair, and let her play in the bathtub afterwards! Time consuming yes but she was "busy" with something good for a while!
Good luck!

Hi T.- my daughter is 21m and I'm right there with you! She even does the "hat!" trick...lol. I have read that it's part of the learning process, so I try to allow her as much experimentation as I can handle.

However, if we don't have time for a quick hose-down after mealtime, there are a couple of things I do:

Tell her it's my food and she can't have any...that always gets her to take a bite!
Distract her with the old airplane-spoon trick, the more sound effects, the better.
It also seems to help if I give her some (non-messy) finger food while I feed her so she feels like she's doing something, too. Raisins are my best friend these days.
Oh, and the most important thing for me is that I absolutely must act like I don't care if she eats or not...because she loves to do the opposite of whatever I say!

Ahh, the toddler years!

:) K.