Toddler Wants to Feed Mommy Instead of Self

Try feeding him while he is feeding you. Make a game of it. Good luck!

T.
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

It is not about the food with him. He is experimenting with social skills. Giving, sharing, and getting responses are things he is working on. As his Mom, you choose what you are comfortable with. You can indulge the social learning time or make eatting about eatting. He is perfectly normal, enjoy!

Hi S.,

I think this is totally normal, and I don't think his drop in eating and feeding you are related.

One of the ways our babies know we love them is that we take care of them. When you feed your son he feels safe, secure and loved. By offering your food, he is trying to share those FEELINGS with you, not just the food, so my advice is to keep on letting him feed you if he wants to.

Separate from that, toddlers go through different eating phases. My son (now 2 1/2) will eat me out of house and home for a couple of weeks then slow way down to where he's only taking a couple of bites at each meal. Keep offering healthy foods and if he isn't eating much at a sitting, try several snacks throughout the day.

Good luck and don't worry, you are a great mom and your little guy is going to be fine.

T.

Simple solution is to "share" bites of your food...just make sure to put on your plate the things he will enjoy eating. Tell him that you will only takes a bite of his food if he takes a bite of your food. He should enjoy the game and if you emphasize the sharing, he will continue to learn about it.

Good luck!

It sounds like a charming response to having a new baby in the family. He sees himself taking care of you, spending more time with you over your time together as he eats. I would recommend that you allow a lot of time to give him undivided attention and play the game one for you and one for me. Give him as much attention as he needs and you have the energy for. It will get easier. Congratulations to your delightful toddler. This is not a time to form life long habits. This is a time to make loving temporary changes in everyone's life as you adjust to the newcomer in the family. I remember my firstborn who was 19 months older than his baby sister pulling on my skirt or whatever I was wearing and saying, "feed her feed her". He liked being read to and I did that while nursing the newborn. Grandma N.

Did you try feeding each other at the same time? My son did that at about 1.5 or 2 and that seemed to work well. He had fun feeding me small bites and I got a few big bites into him at the same time. I think in our case he was a little more confident about getting a spoon into a mouth he could see. A few times of rice in the eye had discouraged him, but after a couple weeks of this eating together thing, he was willing to try again. Also I let him eat with his (washed) hands while I got some spoons into his mouth. Hope that helps. Pretty soon you'll be chasing him around with that spoon (like I am now) because there are just so many things that are more interesting than food. :P

Hi! I also have a 1.5 yrd old toddler and he also offers me food when eating. Somedays he eats more than others and somedays he almost does not eat . I think it's normal. I'm still brestfeeding him.

Just stop accepting it and make it known that he HAS to sit in his chair until he takes 3 bites of each item that you put in front of him. Remember that our children learn what we teach them and he needs to be taught that his food is for him and that mommy has her own. It IS that simple.

You'll be fine - just be consistent.

God bless.

Hi S., my son has been doing this too for a while (he's 1.5 too) I found that eating with him helps. He sees that mommy is eating and wants to eat also and when he offers me food I may take one bite with a big "thank you" but then after that I tell him "no thank you, you eat it, mommy has her own" this usually helps.
good luck and be thankful he wants to share!

I always accept some food from my toddler but after a few times I say "mommy is all done" or "No thank you." She gets the idea. According to my pediatrician their food consumption is supposed to go down drastically around this age and it is important to not make them eat when they are not hungry.

One thing to consider is teething. My friends son always refuses most foods when he is in teething pain. He will however eat things like yogurt and foods that are very soft and easy on the gums.

Dear S.,
Your little one sounds so cute! I sure miss my kids being that age.
I think it's totally normal for little kids to mimmick behaviors. Both of my kids wanted to feed me or "share" their food. If I wanted to lay down on the couch to read or watch TV, they would bring a blankie and cover me up and pat me nigh-nigh. They both did things like that as toddlers and they were 10 years apart.
They were both very good eaters, but went through periods where they didn't seem to eat very much at all. Usually just before a growing spurt. It got to where I could practically time it. One thing I do know is that children will not let themselves starve.
If you are afraid your little one is more interested in the game of feeding mommy, you could try having two spoons so you can "share" the food. You can try saying, "Mommy's a big girl, I want my own spoon" then take a bite and have him take his own "big boy bite". Or, if he takes a bite from your spoon, then you will take a bite from his spoon. It's never too young to learn the concept of taking turns.
It's cute and it works for a while to get the kid to eat, and I think we've all done it. But they need to eventually feed themselves from their own plate.
I'll tell you what worked for me......
I made two plates. (Or bowls, whatever). I had a "flavor shaker". It was just a cannister of ground cinnamon that I hadn't taken the protective seal off of. I would pop the top and pretend to shake it only on my plate. I would take a bite and just flip over how good my plate tasted. Of course, they would want a bite of the "flavor shaker" stuff. I would say I didn't want a bite of theirs...mine was better, thank you. If they wanted some flavor shaker, I would say it's just for mommies. To make a long story short, I ended up "trading" with them. This trick worked until my daughter was 4 years old.
We didn't even need the flavor shaker anymore. She could see that all the food was prepared the same way, that everyone had the same thing. But should would look things over and want to trade plates with me, convinced that mine tasted better. Which was my strategy all along. "My plate" was actually meant for her anyway.
To this day, my kids eat any fruit, any vegetable, any pasta, garlic, onion, fish....anything you can imagine.
I hope it doesn't sound mean, but they thought I was getting something they weren't and they wanted mine.

Best of wishes!

Hi S.,
It is so cute when they want to feed Mommy and share their food. We in the dental field discourage sharing bites though because you introduce caries causing bacteria in their mouth from yours. When my daughter was at this stage we would pretend to take a bite or say "no thank you, that is Paige's food".
Sincerely,
L.

My son used to love to feed me, he still tries every no w and ten and he is 7!!! I would tell him I would take a bite if he took a bite. We went back and forthe like this for a while, then I would tell him I will take a bite if he takes 2, ect. He eventually stared eating more and I finally got to start eating less!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

I give my daughter my plate and put hers in front of me and then we take it in turns. She feeds me and I feed her.

I knew she could feed others before I knew whether or not she could feed herself. And, although is able to feed herself really well, she still prefers to feed me and me to feed her.

This is fine with me as she has the skill now and we make meals as fun as we can with lots of talking along the way.

My one year old also loves to share his food with anyone that is close. We all just pretend to eat what is offered and over act how yummy it is. He loves it and eats like a horse.

My 14 month old also likes to feed me- I think he is just wanting to model my behaviour...so I pretend to eat the food he gives me and make lots of yummy noises...he likes that and then eats his own food too- or we take turns feeding each other-again, I fake eat his food, but he thinks I'm eating it:)
-Wendy

Is he giving back what he receives? Meaning, you offer him food and he says no, but you continue and insist?

Toddlers are good judges of their belly. They are grazers who eat just enough to barely survive on one day and then out of the blue they seem to be starving and eat all day long.

When he's full. He's full.
Stephanie

I totally agree with Denise P. about offering to eat one, then they eat one, etc. It's just a part of growing up. Just make sure that your child drinks something so they don't get dehidrated. When they get hungry enough, they will eat. Obviously if your child stops eating all together, I would call the doctor, but it's just what most kids to through, I'm sure. All my kids did stuff like this and they survived, all 6 of them. Good Luck & get some rest,nap whenever you can even if the house is a mess, your body needs it, I had 2 really close too times 3~~ :)

My 18-month old toddler does the same thing and loves to do whatever I am doing/eating/drinking. I personally don't feel that it does any harm, b/c I think it's important for kids to learn manners and share. I usually tell her "Thank you, mommy doesn't want any right now, you go ahead and eat it." Or if she insists, I sometimes pretend to eat it and make a game out of it and take turns.