Toddler Won't Fall Asleep Without Binkie

Is there any other changes going on right now, no matter how little? I am pregnant with another baby right now and I have a 19 month old who still uses a binkie. My son's doctor told me to limit the binkie to bedtime/naps only and to let him have it until he is 2 1/2. It would be hard to take it away now now because of another baby on the way. The doctor also said that the only problem with binkies at this age is that they interfere with speech if you let them have it while they are up. It does not usually cause problems with the teeth until they are three.
If there are no other changes going on and you want to give it longer, he will eventually learn to go to sleep without it. Rock him to calm him down, but put him in bed still awake. Rocking him to sleep is just another habit you will have to break.

Let the baby enjoy his binky :) I though my daughtear would never grow out of using hers but she did.. (when she was 3).

My son had a bedtime binky until close to 3, it never left his bed, and after he fell asleep the bink fell out of his mouth. I say that if you trade the bink for rocking you are creating another sleep issue that you will soon have to switch to something else. Let him keep his bink a bit longer, I agree with the other moms, he will soon grow out of it. We had a basket by the bed that was for binks, he could get one when he went to bed and up it back in the morning when he got out of bed. I did not remind him of the basket and soon he just stopped gettin a bink out of it at bed time. Many months have passed and I am pretty sure the basket is still there with a few binks in it LOL But I have not seen him go looking for it =}

I say give him the binky only at nighttime and only in his bad. I have none many people who take it away at this age and the kids start sucking their thumbs it is a comfort to your son it makes him feel secure and safe. Isn't that what you want him to feel? How long has it been? If it's been more then a week and he is still crying all the time I say he isn't ready to not have it. Just my thoughts I'm all about a happy baby.

I Ditto Michelle.

For me, I don't understand WHY in our culture... that "de-taching" & weaning a child from things is SO SO important and more important than bonding and nurturing and comforting and letting them be a child. From the time a baby is born... the parent does not want the child to get "attached" to things because it is seen negatively.... from breastfeeding, to bottle usage, to pacifiers, to loveys, to rocking a child to sleep, to having a blankie, to wanting to sleep with Mommy.... The whole concern being that children/babies will get TOO "dependent" if allowed these things. What the hay... in studies, the OPPOSITE has actually been shown- that babies who are capable of bonding and comforted & nurtured are actually more confident and secure. A child is a child for only a short time... I don't know why we spend so much time trying to take things away from them from such a young age.

The thing is, even in the womb... a fetus sucks their fingers for comfort. So, it is a DEEP instinctual thing a baby does.
To arbitrarily take it away... is there a real reason? Or, just his age? Or did the Pediatrician order you to do that? Are you embarrassed about what others will say if he "still" has his binky? These are the popular reasons why a binky is taken away.

No child, will go to Kindergarten with a Binky.... comfort items DO get grown out of.
Just let him have it at bed time or nap time. Its no big deal. Even my Daughter's 1st grade Teacher, allows her Grandson to have it at sleep times. And this Teacher is a LONG LONG time Veteran Teacher.

I was a thumb-sucker and I had a blankie... my sister had a blankie. We both grew out of it.

Its up to you. You take it away and you'll have to let him cry it out until he gives up and learns another way of falling asleep. Or you let him have it only at sleep times. Or, perhaps, hopefully he still is "allowed" his Blankie and perhaps he will start to suck on its corners or on his fingers....

All the best,
Susan

Michelle & Susan gave super responses!!

I think if he's crying and getting SO upset then it might just not be time. My son used to suck on a bottle of water at night until he was around 2, just for the comfort of the nipple. No biggie. Eventually the bottle started ending up on the floor and he was over it...and so it was done. No pressure, no freak outs and everyone was happy.

I'm not sure using CIO with attachment works the same way as those who use different variations for sleeping. I personally think if it's causing a chid distress it's really not a battle worth fighting.

Like Susan said, he'll get over it and it will be no big deal...my sister had a bear she carried everywhere with her until she started preschool and wanted to be a big girl, then it was done. No biggie.

Just be patient.

There's no reason to take away a binkie at this age, if it's only being used for sleeping.

Binkies are discouraged for awake-time use when they start interfering with a toddler's speech development, but this isn't an issue if it's just used at naptime and nighttime. Just make sure it's one of the orthodontic ones so he doesn't develop buck teeth.

The binkie isn't such a bad thing at this age. Much past three and maybe you have a problem. We let our daughter have hers just in bed until she was about three. Around that time we talked up the "Paci Fairy" and how she needed it to give it to other babies, etc. You can take that as far as you need, she can even exchange it for some great gift/toy that he wants then. With all that talk, one day she just gave it up on her own. It was fabulous. I worried she would wake up in the night and cry for it but that never happened once. (but it did happen to my neighbor)
I hope you are using the Nuk or some other orthodontic one, that is the only concern. The others make an overbite.

"but I also don't want to have to rock him every time either." Why not? Put yourself in his mindframe: My mom, the person I love and trust more than anything in this world, takes away the one thing that has soothed me to sleep but she won't even hug me and hold me a little bit to help me get through this crisis.

I exaggerate, maybe, but he's not going to need to be rocked forever. Try holding him a little bit until he calms down, then put him to bed. If he cries again, you rub his back, tell him gently to shush and go to sleep, but stay in his room a bit. Everytime he perks up, just tell him to shush. If he starts crying, give him a hug or rub his back. Pick him up if it starts to get uncontrollable. Then tell him again that it's sleepytime and put him in his bed. Don't leave right away. This is a scary time for him, losing his binky! He'll grow out of it, and believe me, in just a year or two, he won't even want you to hug him, let alone rock him to sleep, so just deal with it and give him the love and comfort he deserves and needs.

My daughter had her binky until almost 3, only for naps & bedtime. One day I told her the binky fairy was going to come & take her binky and leave a toy for her. She was all for it. She was old enough to understand & it was easy.

Good luck!

HI Mariette. I let my older daughter use a pacifier until she was 3. Why not??? It's not hurting her or anyone else. She used it when she slept and at other times during the day when she felt she needed it. When she approached her 3rd birthday we made a big deal about taking her to Disneyland and giving all of her pacifiers to Mickey so " he could give them to babies". It worked great. She gave them up very willingly and only asked me for one 1 night. I plan on doing the same thing with my younger daughter who is 22 months. Why don't you consider waiting until your son is older and more ready. Good Luck.

Christie

I"m not a child psychologist, but i understand that both thumb-sucking and binkies are ways for little people to cope and self-soothe. I wouldn't be in a such a hurry to pull him off of it at 20 months - if we were talking 3 years old, a different story. Talk to a professional - little people usually only hold onto things like this because it's what they need at that stage of life. When they react THAT strongly to a change, it probably wasn't time yet...warmly, B.

Dear Mariette,
One of my sons was "strong willed" too. He knew what he wanted and would fight for it. I had to learn that sometimes silly choices such as a "peanut and jelly sandwich" or a "peanut butter sandwich" for lunch allowed him choice and made him happy. He learned to that when it was not a choice to obey me.

Since your son is very young...not even two, you are going to have to learn to pick your "fights" carefully. Dr Dobsons book on The Strong willed Child might help you down the road. However at this time, I personally would give him back the "binky" and pull it out of the mouth after he is asleep. He will not use it forever and if he is only using it when he falls asleep, I see no reason to take it from him and upset him. It is your choice how you "comfort" him...rocking him at this age is OK too and I often held my sons (mainly because all three were nursing at 20 months) until they fell asleep in my arms at this age.
Enjoy his 'babyhood" as he will grow out of it too soon.
H.

Just stick it out. It won't take that much longer. Be consistant and don't give it to him. He will eventually get used it and manage just fine.
good luck!

Just like others said, "stick it out!" :) If you would like some advice from an amazing sleep consultant (and she talks about the use of things like binkies, etc..), go to www.3daysleep.com. She has a wonderful video that is cheap, short and easy to follow! It'll be the best $$ you spend!! :) Happy sleeping!

One possibility is to attach it to the side of his bed. It is there but the only way for him to have it is to lie there and suck on it without being able to roll around with it in his mouth. He will eventually think it's too much work and sleep without it.

I had a friend that did that with a little one his age that wanted the binkie all the time. She attached it to a chair in the kitchen and her daughter was welcome to suck on it, but got bored quick and decided the bink wasn't worth standing there in the kitchen for any length of time and gave it up.

I agree with Marla. Give it time. He will not want it. My daughter is almost two and just recently got rid of hers. She used it as a teether during our trip up to and in washington state. During bedtime, i'd lay next to her, usually until she fell asleep.. Whenever she tried to chew on her binky i would take it away and tell her " nope, we dont chew on it".. After a week of doing that, She eventually not wanted it...

You might wanna try something similiar, maybe lay next to him if u can.. If he is in a crib grab chair and sit next to him, If u can wedge hands between the bars to rub his head as comfort to let him know its okie.. he may get over his binky.. if he has a favorite toys or stuffed animal, replace his binky with that. You can get a binky that he isnt fond of either, throw out the ones he likes... My daughter only liked those lil soothie ones.. cause they were round...

my daughter was the same with here binky at that age. Always needed it.