Toddler Won't Sleep Away from Home.

Try bringing her bedding with you, and as many familiar things from her room as you can handle. My daughter has to have her "night night" blanket everywhere she goes... whether it's daycare or the grocery store. And especially when traveling!

My first responce I started thinking of my 11month old
Granddaughter, so I guess my responce is what to do before so you don't run into the problem of not sleeping in her/his own bed.

We go to the beach quite often with our 22 month old and usually have a hard time the first night and a much better second night. Here are some things that may help.
-Set up her travel crib or whatever you plan on bringing with you for her to sleep in a couple of days before you leave home.
-bring blankets and toys she usually sleeps with- don't wash them so it will smell like home.
-Bring a night light(the same one from home) if you use one, so if she does wake up she knows where she is- we had a very scared baby one night with no light.
-A fan or other white noise can do wonders- I highly recommend it any time you travel- even if you don't use it at home- it REALLY helps.
Good luck- you guys will all survive- remember all the other phases you thought would never end!;)
PS regarding co-sleeping- this has not worked for us- he just thinks it's party time and has been incredibly frustrating for us- but give it a try by all means!

K.,

My daughter is 14 months old and has a similar problem if she doesn't fall asleep in HER crib. I can cuddle her until she falls asleep, then put her in bed and she will wake up every time within an hour. I have to put her in bed drowsy, but still awake so she knows where she is as she falls asleep.

Your daughter is a little older, so that may not work. While you are house sitting or traveling try bringing a favorite stuffed animal or blankie. A small memento from home may help her. Also maybe leave a hall light on so it's not totally dark in her borrowed room, or bring a night light. That was another problem we had with my daughter, she'd wake up in a dark room and have a fit. My last thought would be to let her sleep with you while you house sit.

It sounds to me like she just needs a few familiar comforts to put her mind at ease. Children are funny this way. They will have the hardest time with some of the (we think) easiest things.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

We have always brought our daughters now three pillow, blanket (quilt that she has always slept with) and one of her bears wherever we go. Comfort items. It is a hard age in general but she seems pretty happy with those comfort items oh and she also sleeps to the same CD at night and we bring that along also. Best of luck!

When we travelled with our son, I would bring his little tape player, and his storytime tapes. It really helped. We also brought familiar toys, like his glo-worm, that would light up when hugged, his special pillow, so he had familiarity on different levels, smells, sights, and sounds. I have a friend whose son could not do sleep-overs well into his teens. Now he is away at college, doing great. One thing I wish I had done was sleep whenever he was napping and not use the time to clean house. I would have been so much better off. Sleep deprivation is torture!

My son will be three in September and has never slept well (alone) away from home. When we go anywhere I just sleep with him and then he sleeps fine (me, not so much!). For naps I lay down with him on the bed while we read books and then wait for him to fall asleep. I then sneak out of the bed and he's fine until he wakes up. He'll just come out and find me when he wakes. For nighttime I do the same thing if I want to stay up later, etc. Then I go to sleep in the bed with him and if he wakes in the night he settles quickly knowing I'm there. It's not the best arrangement because he sometimes sleeps on my head like a cat! but it's better than getting up every two hours to soothe, etc. Oh and when he stays overnight at the grandparents my mom or dad sleep in the room with him.

what about having her sleep with you and your husband when you are away. That always helps my babies sleep through the night. Because when they wake up at night they see us and snuggle in and fall back to sleep very quickly.

Perhaps sleeping with her when away from home would be a comforting treat.

I always put my 18 mo old son in a playard if we are away from home. The only time I didn't bring the playard he slept with me in the bed and kept me up all night. I think as long as the child has blankie and things that remind him/her of home, they will sleep. If they are tired enough they will settle down and sleep. We also take our son camping in a camp trailer. He sleeps on the bottom bunk. It does take him a little bit to fall asleep but eventually he does.

Since both my babies (2 and 7 months) were born, I've had them sleep on a sheepskin in their crib. When we travel, we bring the sheepskin, so wherever they are they have the same sensation and scent. Definitely helps! Bowron makes them, about $75 each.

I would suggest sleeping with her, especially when you're away from home. (it sounds like you don't already sleep together?). It makes perfect sense that she would be afraid, being all alone at night, in a strange place. I am a strong advocate of cosleeping in general, until the age of 3 or 4, but at least you could give her the gift of your nighttime presence when you are away from home in an unfamiliar situation. My two children slept with me till they were 3 or 4 years old, and were always welcome into my bed after that if they were afraid. They are now grown, happy loving secure adults who sleep with their own children. I suppose it is possible that if you sleep with your daughter while away, that she may want to continue to sleep with you at home, and it may be more difficult to get her to readjust to sleeping apart from you, but I think that, even if you don't want to welcome her into your bed at home all the time, and it takes some time for her to feel safe about again about sleeping in her own bed, it would still be better than having her be so traumatized during your trips away from home. And since she has already been somewhat traumatized, it may take some time for her to release that trauma and feel safe again. You can encourage her to talk about her fears and empathize and reassure her that you will not leave her alone. If you don't want to actually sleep in the same bed with her when you're away from home, you could at least have her in the same room with you. You could bring her special bedding (sheets, pillows, teddy bear etc) that smells like home, maybe even a little bed/pad that's familiar to her. But in any case, I think it would be best for her to be in the same room with you, and you should be ready to respond to her needs right away and reassure her that you are there with her, and realize that she may need to come into your bed at that point if she hasn't already. I know this may be a hard time for you to go through, but I think it is really important to take the time and care to develop a strong foundation of trust and safety for her, which will help her for the rest of her life. And, if you sleep together, you will all get more sleep!

If, on the other hand, I misunderstood and you have been sleeping with her, and she is feeling afraid even though you are with her in an unfamiliar place, I would hold her and listen to and acknowledge and empathize with her feelings. There may be an earlier feeling of abandonment that is coming up, and she needs to express it so she can resolve it.

And I'd encourage you to catch up on your sleep when you can, nap when she does, and, if that isn't enough, have someone else be with her for a while so you can sleep. Sleep deprivation is no fun!

Hi,

You could also try putting her to sleep in different rooms of your own house for the week or so before going on your trip. This may help her adapt to a slightly changed environment. If you know she is going to sleep in a crib or pack n' play, you could also try putting her to sleep in something similar prior to the trip instead of her own crib just to condition her to a change. Try this with her favorite blanket or cuddly to see if that will help her accept the new sleeping arrangements.
Good luck

My daughter never sleeps as well away from home. We do try to take comforts of home like blanket or stuffed animals she sleeps with and try to stick to the same bedtime routine. It can be difficult in hotels when she is in a pack-n-play in the same room as us instead of her own room and crib.
Could you try telling her before bed that it isn't home but Mommy and Daddy are still close, love her and will come if she needs, etc?

I noticed with our daughter and her friends that they started to get quite a bit more scared about things and started getting nightmares somewhere between 18-24 months. We had a hard time from about 22 months for about 6 months to have her sleep away from home. However, after the first night, we usually don't have any problems.

We always have blanket(s) she is used to (so they smell like home) and her must-have items for sleeping (e.g. baby doll, Charlie dog, pacifier, etc.) and bring the pack-n-play. We have tried co-sleeping, but that is ALWAYS a nightmare. We mostly co-slept until she was about 8-months old so we thought we could do that. But because we haven't for so long, she thinks it's just party time and goes nuts.

Last summer we took a trip when she was 22 months old and she was scared to death the first night. We couldn't get her to fall asleep until midnight!! And, that was after my husband had to lay her back down every few minutes for about 20-30 minutes. The next day she didn't nap so we thought we were in real trouble, but the next night she fell right to sleep and was great the rest of the trip.

I think the key is letting her know about the fun and exciting trip coming up, getting through the first night, ensure her that everything is okay, and have as many similar items with you as possible. I do think it's a phase, because we recently switched to a "big-girl" bed at home but she sleeps fine in her pack-n-play while we're away. Good luck and have a great trip this summer. -D.- :-)

K.,

I'd let her sleep with you when away from hope. I'm assuming you don't co-sleep now??? so you can build it up to be a special thing that she only gets to do when you are away from home. (Heck, she might not want to leave the new place!) I always sleep with my kids (6 & 10) when we travel-either in the same bed or at least in the same room. It is a lot to expect that a little kid wouldn't be freaked out to wake up in the night in a strange place. When my kids were 4 and under I would lay with them until they were asleep and then sneak out to get my adult time in. Then I would go back to bed with them when I wanted to go to sleep. It is pretty sweet, cuddly time actually.

Good luck!

Does she have a playpen that she is familiar with? If so, bring that with you along with any bedding she is used to or animals/dollys she usually sleeps with. You could also try taking her to bed with you when you are away from home. It will probably just be a thing she will have to get used to. But keeping her in the same room with you and bringing along familiar things for her to have with her when she sleeps will definitely help things along. Good luck!

Between 18m and about 3yrs this is always difficult... it is a phase. If you must travel overnight... have familiar items around, a confined sleeping area (pack n play) and give benadryl or melatonin.