Tons of School Issues. . .to Speak up or Keep Quiet?

There's a psychological concept known as "dispersed responsibility"... which translates to simply mean that the more people who are involved or witnessing something wrong happening... the LESS likely anyone is to do anything about it.

One of the most famous cases of this is Kitty Genovase, but it really spans in all directions... from how things like the halocaust can happen (when any thinking/feeling person otherwise saves a child from being killed), to Kitty who was raped and beaten to death while all her neighbors watched and listened for HOURS, to a stranger collapsing in the street (the ring of bystanders who do nothing, to those who just continue walking) to a car accident that doesn't get phoned in because "everyone else assumes someone else will" (that's the kicker in this), to a school classroom... where there are not only 30 other students, but also 30 sets of parents, but also other teachers, school admin, school board... etc.

BE that person who steps up when something is wrong.

I think I would do the same thing. I also think I would take the test example, as well as the math examples to the principle and explain that the teacher's personality and your daughter's leaning style are not working out. Let the principle know that you believe your daugher would learn better in another teacher's class and that you want her changed.

Wow, I'd raise a stink until something was changed! The teacher is obviously incompetent and your daughter's education shouldn't suffer because of it. I would keep the examples you have and document everything, calmly explain your concerns to the administration, and then I would insist she be moved to another class.

I would do the same thing. I don't usually make a big stink about things, but this is your daughter's education and grades. The teacher can't even do her math right to tally an incorrect c grade and marks correct answers wrong, and fails to meet basic deadlines. Sounds like she is very lackadaisical. I calmly present your concerns and would request a new teacher or for your daughter to be moved to a different class. Take all of the evidence and document everything and go to the superintendent if you have to.

Also, she and the guidance counselor should definitely know about the tragedy of your father in law. Do not be afraid to let them know. I'm sorry all of this is happening!

I think you are doing a good job of advocating for your daughter. It's unfortunate, but necessary in the examples you have given. It is also teaching your daughter some good assertive skills... Which is especiaaly important for girls/women! Hopefully things get better, but keep plugging along... If you do/ say nothing, nothing will change and your daughter will probably suffer more from that.

You are doing the right thing KD, and I would recommend getting some of your parent friends to sign off on a document listing their grievances with this sub; this might be easier for them to do instead of coming out to confront themselves at the same time giving you ammunition to use in your daughters case. If that doesn't help; tell them you want a new teacher for your daughter.

You're doing the right thing. Sometimes we have to be the one to speak up - even if everyone else THINKS the same thing. At this point, I might ask that she be moved to a different class. Middle school is just around the corner and you can't afford to miss learning anything in 5th grade. My daughter is in 6th grade and I'm going in next week to speak to a guidance counseler about one of her teachers - a Language Arts teacher that doesn't seem to have a command of the English language and it's not a cultural thing. She's not clear in her instructions (written or spoken) and won't entertain questions from anyone in the class when they're confused which is every day. My daughter said she's not learning anything. I'm requesting her teacher be changed. We have to speak up for our kids. Good luck!

Why not make a formal list of all the complaints or observations that you have experienced throughout the school year so far and then request that she be transferred to a different classroom? Ask your daughter how she would feel about being transferred to a different classroom. Also, you should pursue that C grade - if you have the old assignments, you can easily show these to the principal and request a reason as to why she received a C grade. If your daughter works hard, she deserves the right grades and the right teachers!

If this teacher is inexperienced, that should not matter, every teacher is inexperience when they first start teaching. and you know as well as i that kids love to give subs a hard time. I believe going to bat for your kids, but everything this teacher does can't be a battle, and you are calling this teacher a liar, and you were not in the class to know what she mentions and what she doesn't. Cut the teacher some slack especially if you are the only mom complaining. J.

When is the regular teacher supposed to be back?

You need to advocate for your daughter because God knows nobody else will...I agree it is a fine line between that and being someone who fights her battles for her, but I think based on what you have described, you need to have a talk with the principal, document everything, and try to have her switched to another class if this substitute is still going to be around much longer.

Sounds like a meeting w/ teacher and a principle is in order. I say together because you have already approached the teacher individually. Go in w/ a list of issues (focus mostly on the whole class first, then specifics w/ your daughter). Be calm and respectful but insist on being heard and something being done.

I agree that you don't want your child penalized because of you standing up for her, you have to stand up for your children. You also have to realize that sometimes our children are not the same child in school that they are at home and may not always be innocent in a situation. That is not to say I think that is the case here (seems like all the kids are having the same problem but may not have the support from home to do anything about it). Since it is the whole class, I wouldn't request she be moved but rather the teacher be moved/replaced.

Sometimes the papers that come home are not the only ones that are graded. Ask to see a listing of all grades considered in the C rating. Then question anything that doesn't look right (bring what you have at home and ask to see anything that wasn't brought home that doesn't look right). Could you daughter not have brought home some that was graded and not as good as the others? Could some of the problem be a class participation or in class assignmnets bringing her grade down. My son once had a teacher whose instructions were horribly confusing (even for me) and she didn't really seem to be able to teach (even though I sure she knew the material) and gave him a zero for missing assignments and when I showed the teacher they were graded she corrected it. Not sure if she recorded his in the wrong slot or not at all. I had another time that he had a zero, she was going to let him redo the assignment for partial credit. I knew he had done it and he was sure he handed it in (even though he did sometimes forget). She finally checked her stack of papers and actually had it.

i would set up a meeting with the teacher, have a list of everything you have stated here and go through one by one, esp. the ones regarding grades.
we are going through the same thing with one teacher right now. i am hearing from other parents having same complaints as i do (work not being covered yet kids being tested on material the teacher didn't even introduce, inconsistent grading etc). all the parents are upset but none of them wanted to say anything in fear of retaliation.
so i made an appt only because on top of everything else she was not following my daughter's medical guidelines. in fact, i wasn't aware she wasn't until my daughter started telling me about them.
i made the appt, asked for 1 hr meeting. had a list of things printed out. met the teacher, held my ground, was polite enough but angry enough to make my opinion clear.
i think, things changed for my daughter. the meeting just took place so i have yet to see if she will follow through but there is no doubt about anything anymore.
i think meet with the teacher first. ask her to explain how the grading takes place. is a 100 per cent on tests mean C? (be armed with info from other parents to see if other children with same performance got Cs too), and make sure you are aware of any inconsistencies in her grading). if you are lied to, then schedule another meeting with the principal, teacher and you. have everything brought up again.
i think the school will try to cover their behinds because they need her right now, but this should not mean kids become guinea pigs until the teacher returns. all in all, i'd be pissed, but wouldn't wait for other parents to join.