Too Many Toys for Toddler?

How old was your daughter when you adopted her ? Just wandering her behavior maybe related to her early childhood. May want to talk to your ped. about that, too.

My son has that many toys, he keeps recieving them as gifts from well meaning grandparents, and I just take a big ol box to kid to kid or goodwill every couple of months.

Sometimes, having too many toys can be distracting.

Also, I think if she has issues, it may be from being adopted. My little brother was adopted when he was 4 months old from Korea. He was abandoned on a doorstep at 4 days old. He had severe attachment and defiance issues, and back then, they didn't really know what that was, or how to help it.

But now, they have a lot more help out there, It mostly afflicts adoptive children, no matter the age, and it ranges in severity. My brother's was very severe (he is 24 now, and it still affects him). You may want to have her see a counselor who is familiar with this, and who can help you and your spouse understand her needs, do it now even though she is so young, this is the age when it can be treated.

There area lot of support groups on the interenet, just search for "adoption attachment disorder".

http://www.attachmentdisorder.net/
http://attachment.adoption.com/

Do you have any other noises in the room while you are communicating with your toddler? Get down on the floor and read sometimes. You can rotate toys every other day ect... so you don't have so many out at a time. As long as she has been checked out by your doctor enjoy who she is. She is changing every day. Have a great day!

My daughter has a lot of toys as well...i do try to localize her toys in one room (playroom)...she has only a few stuffed animals in her room and a few toys in the living room. So we read in the living room and this keeps her attention. She just likes to run around in her room and play with the drapes. i like to make her room only for sleeping and not playing hoping this will help me when it comes to her moving into a toddler bed in the next six months or so.

As for the not talking thing...first question is "how old is she?" My daughter could only say 5 words until she was 19 months. We had her hearing checked but it was fine. She started speech therapy at 15 months with ECI but it was not working for her. We then swiched to Therapedia which has worked GREAT she can now say about 15 words and use them in combination.

Her attention span is little to none so the stringent therapy has worked better. It was so hard to teach her when she doesnt pay attention. With potty training coming up i needed to be able to communicate with her. She doesnt even answer to her name!!! It made me feel like a failure what am i doing wrong. I found out that she had some sensory issues due to her being born with Torticollis. A child with Sensory issues has problems relating to their suroundings. In turns causes some speech and physical delays. After doing Speech Therapy, PT and OT...she is a totaly differnt child. More outgoing, not as afraid of new environments and people. She is easier to communicate with and is developing a lot faster.

I wouldnt over worry about the speech...ask your doctor if they could reccomend a good speech therapist and this should help you out a lot. Early Intervention is the key!

I don't think your daughter has too many toys. I've seen some kids houses where there are toys EVERYWHERE! As for the way she play & behaves when you read books to her & such. My daughter was & still is the exact same way. She's 7 now, & hardly ever plays with what I consider to be the big fun toys. She usually prefers to play with simple McDonald's toys. But, she has a really great imagination & can carry on whole scenes with those toys for hours! She also isn't much of a cuddler & really didn't like to sit close & read books. It was just a matter of her personal space. She also didn't play with the groups of kids, usually just by herself. As she got bigger, she enjoyed playing with the group more, but honestly, still prefers to play by herself. Like I said, for my daughter anyway, it's just a matter of her personal space. I hope this helps, or at least lets you know that your kiddo isn't the only one who acts like that! :)

I'm no expert on motherhood or children, but I wanted you to know that I don't think that any parent who truly tries and cares will fail their children. You are a great mother who knows your child better than any one else. I know this because you care enough to be concerned and to ask for help.

I think my son has a lot of toys - and then I see some of his friend's homes and realize he doesn't have as many as most if them! In our case, he really just has a couple of favorites. You didn't mention how old Kela is, but my son is 2 and plays with his train set for hours at a time. He is totally obsessed with anything "Thomas." Maybe you just need to pin point Kela's favorite thing. Almost all of my son's friends have at least one favorite toy or activity that keeps them happy. Sometimes it is just hard to figure out. Also the girls seem slightly less obsessive than the boys I know.

As for talking, he was also a late talker. We had ECI evaluate him, but he was fine - just didn't care to talk. Does Kela know several body parts? Can she point to her head, eyes, nose, etc when you ask her to? That was one thing they used to decide he was ok. He pointed to parts, but didn't say the words. He really didn't start talking much till after he turned 2 and still isn't as clear as most of his pals - but I know he is still learning. We used DVDS to stimulate his vocabulary. I know that is controversial, but it worked for us. We used the "Your Baby Can Read" series.

I know you mentioned the MDO program, again depending on her age, I really recommend one - or at least a drop off place like Adventure Kids once in a while. Play dates too. My Nate often plays by himself, but I still feel it is great socialization to at least have him in the room with other kids. You just don't realize how much they are picking up. Just yesterday, he saw a friend in the neighborhood and told me his name. I never even realized he knew his friend's names! He rarely even plays with that little boy. If you are anywhere near Carrollton, let me know and we'd love to have you join our play group. Good luck. You are doing fine!

It sounds like you have several issues that concern you.

The easiest is the toys. That is largely a matter of personal choice. My children have a lot of toys because we had a hard time finding things that sparked an interest in our girls (our son was obsessed with Thomas). We opted to give them a wide variety of things to play with and it works for us. We have friends who prefer to give their children around 5 toys each and their children are well adjusted and happy, so it seems to me to be a choice.

You seem very concerned that your daughter has a short attention span. At two she should have about a two minute attention span.

I may be reading into this, but seems to me that you are concerned your daughter doesn't want to sit in your lap while you read. Does she tend to dilike touch at other times? If not you may choose to let it go. My oldest daughter hated being read to she much prefered to make up her own stories and there was no way she would sit for me to read to her! If she does this coupled with her ignoring may be a deeper issue, I would ask my ped. for a refeeral to a developmental ped. I have lots of expierence with children and in general i have found that developmental ped are better at this than traditional peds. - it is after all their specialty- they are good at alleviating parental fears if all is well and finding problems if they are present.

You mentioned mothers day out, I think they are a great resource. I also think that you have an idea that if you aren't providing every opportunity you are failing her. It didn't work out so let it go. It sounds like she may not be ready for the social game just yet and so the fact that it fell through may be a blessing. Those programs are very expensive and if it doesn't work a huge frustration!!!!
I would, not to sound like a broken record, take the child to a developmental ped. before signing up for any program.

My son has a million toys, and I personally see nothing wrong with it. He plays with different stuff and will eventually run across something he hasn't seen in a while. Yes, toddlers do have short attention spans. My son will play with the same toy for just a few minutes then move on to other things. You didn't say how old your daughter was, but as far as talking goes, do you give her what she wants without her having to ask? My son went through a grunting phase where he would grunt and expect something. I would not give it to him unless he at least said please or tried to say the word. I am sure she is fine. Toddlers can be very stubborn.