Travel Without Our Kids??

Updated on May 28, 2009
T.C. asks from Grand Blanc, MI
16 answers

Hello Moms...My husband and I are planning a trip to Cabo San Lucas in October and we originally planned to take our younger two children with us. However, with the whole swine flu thing we are rethinking taking them now and going by ourselves. I am not sure if I want to leave the baby for a whole week when she will only be around 6 months old. I have someone that I fully trust to stay with the kids but it seems an awfully long time away from a baby that young. Have any of you ever had to leave your children for that length of time when they were babies? I will hopefully still be breast feeding her at that time too and I'm not sure how to maintain that for that length of time also.

The biggest problem with all of this is that we purchased a partial timeshare package with the intention of taking the kids with us and we have to use our first week in Mexico by the end of this year or we lose the other 5 weeks that we can use anywhere we want to go. I don't really want to lose out on the vacation time or the money but I'm not sure whether to take the kids or leave them home. My husband feels that the risk for the flu is too great for the little ones to go down there with us. Please give me your thoughts on this.

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D.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Wow, there seems to be two sides on this, no middle!!
I have and will again left my children with family while my husband and I went on an adult vacation. There is nothing wrong with it. Believe me you will miss the kids a lot more then the kids will miss you! Sometimes parents need time away from the kids, but that is just MHO. Even "super moms" need a break sometimes.

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K.W.

answers from Benton Harbor on

The swine flu issue is constantly changing. Perhaps you could get a better feel for the situation in September and not make firm decisions now based on this ever-changing situation.

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

T. ~
We went to Cabo last year for vacation and it was just fabulous. I'm not sure what there is to do with small children, since we didn't have any with us, but the water is fabulous and I'm sure there's stuff to do, even if it's just hang out at the beach and enjoy.

The drinking in Cabo is just fine, not like most of the rest of Mexico. Especially at the hotels and restaurants, so don't worry about that stuff.

By the time that you go, flu season should be over. If you go without your children and you get exposed, you could bring it back to them and they'd get sick without even going. So honestly, if you're worried about the flu part, I think that it wouldn't make any difference if you take them with you or leave them home. Maybe ask your doctor what the risk would be either way at that time of year.

It amazes me how much you're being criticized for thinking about vacationing without your kids. If you do, they will be fine! The newborn will not remember it (memory starts around 3 yrs old), the 18 yr old will love it (LOL) and the 3 yr old will get through it, their memory span isn't that long. My friend won a cruise before and we watched her small children and they had no problems after they came home.

I think that either way would be fine. But if you were originally planning on taking them, then take them. Have a great time there!

btw ~ food there is expensive, so try to eat in. One place you should take them, though, is El Squid Roe...you all will have a great time there!

D.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Happily, the swine flu epidemic only happened in the media. In Mexico, the last number of confirmed swine flu deaths was down to 7. Part of the problem, from the observer's view, is that Mexico doesn't have the infrastructure to test for flu variants, so when there were some new symptoms, and a bunch of flu deaths, they associated the new strain with the deaths without having any medical evidence to support their theory. Once the medical scientists arrived, it was clear that the problem was overblown.

No one who has died of swine flu anywhere in the world was outside the range of 'normal' for those susceptible to fatal flu, usually the very young, the elderly and anyone with a compromised immune system (transplant recipients, cancer sufferers, AIDS patients). It is important to know that there are thousands of influenza A deaths every year in the US, and it's never considered an epidemic. And, of course, a comparable number in Mexico...

Of course, if there actually were a dangerous flu epidemic, it would be seriously risky for you and your husband to go to the region and then come home to your family. If you're going to do that, just bring the kids along --it doesn't matter to them if you bring them to it or bring it back to them.

Happily, it doesn't matter, because there is no swine flu epidemic, so you can all go and not worry about it.

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S.C.

answers from Lansing on

Wow, I guess I'm the old fashion Mom after reading these comments. I would never take an infant or young child to a foriegn country just to vacation and would have never thought to leave my baby for a week, especially when I am breastfeeding, to take a vacation. The swine flu originated in Mexico and infants are far more suseptable to complications than healthy adults. Ask yourself, is it really worth the risk? I am going to vote in favor of staying home with your little ones and plan a vacation for when the baby is older but I can see that is not the concensus here. But again, my kids are raised and in college and so our way of doing things was much different.

S.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like you are really worried about being away for such a long time from your babies, which is completely understandable. I left my baby around 9 months for the first time to go to Punta Cana (5 days,4 night) and worried about it until the morning we left...of course, she was perfectly fine, which made me even more upset that she didn't miss me more! ; ) If you are still breastfeeding at that time, you are just going to have to pump. If the "swine flu" is your only concern though about bringing the kids with you, then definitely talk to their doctor about what they recommend. I think though that some alone time with your husband can only be a good thing, especially if you trust the person you are leaving your children with. Another option too is to suck up paying for the whole week but only stay a shorter time, that way you don't lose out on your additional weeks...or see if someone else will use your week for you so you can use your other five weeks later. Good luck with your decision, believe me, I know its rough!

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

From my understanding, the flu is not that rampant at resort areas, it's more in the local population. It's also not as bad as first feared and is really not anymore dangerous than the common flus that go around each year. I would take my kids and just keep to the timeshare area and wash hands often!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I wish I could tell you this in such a way that you'd understand how strongly my experience as a grandmother of 17, LaLeche League Leader, and trained infant mental health specialist has taught me this. Here goes - Please do not think of leaving these small children behind while you go on vacation. You may never know what toll it will take on them emotionally, but it will hurt them very much. If you were in a coman in the hospital, they'd have to survive it. For a vacation, it is a poor parenting choice, to put it mildly. I imagine you'll hear from others who will tell you it's no big deal, but I want to urge you to put yourself in your precious, little ones' place and consider the feelings of abandonment this will mean for them. It is always tempting to separate from your children to meet your own needs but it is rarely a good idea. That's my advice, delivered from my heart and life experience and professional training, T.. I hope I have not hurt your feelings with what I've said.

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A.B.

answers from Detroit on

we have travelled without our children since they were 5 months old. When our oldest was 5 months we went to NIagra Falls for 4 days. The longest we've left our children was for 9 days when we took a cruise. Our oldest was 3 and our youngest was 10 months old. I think it's great to take vacations without the kids. The kids see that there is a life outside of them and you and your husband get to reconnect. We make a point to get away if only for a weekend every year. Have fun!!!

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

From what I understand the H1N1 virus (swine flu) is no more dangerous than the regular flu. I would take the kids and use the same precautions you use during regular flu season. Make sure you always wash your hands. It wouldn't hurt to take the kids to the doctor and let your doctor know you're traveling to Mexico and ask if he/she can write you a prescription just in case it's needed (antibiotics or whatever they suggest). I would feel more comfortable taking my children to Mexico with the change of getting the flu than leaving the country for a week without them. Plus I believe the risk has passed and you're not going till October. I would get your pediatricians opinion.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

I guess I have a few comments. I would not take my kids to mexico, ever, because of the water and security issues. I don't really think the swine flu is much of a concern now.

Second, that is a long time to be away from an infant or other children. I travel occassionally for work...never more than 3-4 days, and I physically hurt to see my kids again.

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C.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think it just depends on you and your children and how comfortable you will all be being apart. We left my oldest son at 18 months for a week while we vacationed in Jamaica...we were all fine. He stayed with his grandparents who took stellar care of him and kept him occupied. He did start to miss us, but they just distracted him. As far as taking the baby and leaving the older child, we often send our oldest to grandma's for the weekend and keep our baby at home and it works out fine. He gets lots of extra one-on-one attention at grandma's house and he loves it. I think it is all up to you and what you are comfortable with. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

hi there,
we left our 7 month old baby last summer for a week while we went on our honeymoon with her grandma who we fully trust and she was completely awesome and we enjoyed ourselves immensly- you kind of have to once you can get a break away take it and have fun while you can!!! we actually just left her again this summer for 4 days with that grandma and she was fine again and we had fun again but next year we will be definately taking her with us :) dont feel guilty just have fun when you can

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B.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My husband and I went to Mexico when our youngest was 5 months old (my oldest was 23 months old). I left them with my parents, who I trusted and the kids "knew" them the best. They actually had my kids for 9 days total. Both of my kids were fine when we got back and really happy to see us. Neither of them seemed "mad" at us for leaving them, or really realized we left them. They had spent time at their grandparents house before, so it was nothing new for them.
As far as it being safe to travel with your kids, I was told by a doctor not to take them out of the country till they were 2 at the youngest...so really that is your call :)

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

I believe the media has created a panic with the Swine Flu "epidemic". There are many types of flu bug and to create a panic is HORRIBLE. I've read articles written by doctors, who gave statistics on deaths with the swine flu compared to other health issues/concerns and it is extremely low.

With that said I make sure my kids immune system is strong so that all flus are preventable, along with other health issues (cancer, diabetes, etc). I am conscious of their sugar intake, they get a good source of protein daily, drink water and use supplements.

If you are also doing this with your children, I suggest still taking them.

If you do decide to leave them at home, they may act a little strange around you when you first return, but that is very temporary. Your son will probably miss you. If he is kept busy, that will help keep his mind off missing his parents. Just keep in touch with the people you are leaving them with and he will get through it.

Hope this helps. And if you decide you want to rent the time share, I am here call me LOL

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

Follow your gut feeling...if you take them and are so worried that something may happen which in turn spoils the fun of the trip then don't take them. If you really feel it'll be fine with them there then do it. Kids are adaptable and will do okay without you for a week, then you'll just have to figure out something for pumping your milk etc... I like the idea of talking to your ped first too. Have fun, whatever you decide!

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