Trip with Friend

The only way to conquer fear is to face it head on. Chin up and move forward.
Just go!!!!

Have fun and let us know how much fun you had.

You should put your big girl pants on and go. Conquer you fears. If your kids had the opportunity to go on a trip without you and were afraid wouldn't you encourage them to go, have the experience and have a great time? Every great mom would.

Book your flight, have a great time, concentrate on good things not possible disasters which are rare to say the least. Remember to breathe, relax and enjoy.

Oh my I know exactly how you feel. The first few trips I took away from my kids I was a nervous wreck. But I had SUCH a good time, and I ALWAYS relaxed once I got to my destination.
It's like a form of separation anxiety!
So please go and enjoy yourself. The world won't stop, your kids will still eat and sleep and play and be just fine without you, I promise.

Please go, so that you can prove to yourself that you can leave your children and the world will not collapse.

Is it possible that you somehow feel, without knowing it consciously, that your caregiver (husband? someone else?) really just can't do as good a job as you do, yourself? Even if you deny it -- that may be behind this anxiety. Let your husband or caregiver have this opportunity to handle things. If it's a husband or significant other, he NEEDS this opportunity and so do your kids.

Be sure you are (a) not going to back out if you say yes and commit to tickets and (b) go on this trip with some firm determination that you will not call home more than once each day. Do not plan to Skype or call morning and night etc. Limit yourself to an agreed-upon time once daily for a call and limit the length of it. If you linger on the phone every day or Skype with the kids for ages, you will only upset yourself -- and then them. And your friend frankly will get tired of your company if you talk about the family all the time, worry about the family all the time, and are clearly just panting for the next phone call so you can check up on your spouse/caregiver. You must go into this determined to limit your contact and stay occupied every minute otherwise!

If you are generally anxious about things, fear air travel or other travel, or have constant anxiety about being away from your kids, or don't want to let the kids out of your sight for fear something will happen to them -- If any of that is going on beyond the concerns about this one trip, please, please get professional help for anxiety. If you cling so hard to your kids that you are never, ever able to leave them, they will suffer for it if you must leave suddenly for an emergency and they're not able to cope and neither is your husband or caregiver.

GO... your children will be fine. It will give them some special time with dad. It is also helpful for you to be away from them every now and then as well. It is not like they are in diapers, they are pretty self sufficient, or should be.

What are you going to do when your children go to college? At some point and time you WILL be separated from your children as they grow and become responsible adults. If your fears are this bad, you might need to see a Dr. It is not normal to keep yourself that close to your children intentionally due to fears.

You will come back re-charged and feeling good about yourself for facing your fears. What if's are just that... the chances are very high that your world is not going to fall apart because you go on a well deserved trip.

If you live in fear of the what if's all of your life you will end up sick. I hate flying (the take off part) but that will never stop me from travel and enjoying myself on trips.

Don't allow fears to control your life. Go have fun.

Is this a usual thing with you? Anxiety attacks, irrational thoughts and fears? For 11 years you've never been farther away from your kids than an hour? WHY?

It sounds like you need to book an appointment with your doctor. Talk about this. Face it. If you have a real anxiety attack while on the plane, you and everyone around you will be really miserable. You might need a prescription with you just in case.

I do believe you need to learn to get away from your kids. Just think about what you've told us here, though. Go talk to the doctor and prepare yourself.

Okay this is going to sound mean and I really don't mean for it to but seriously you need to get a grip. Your kids are at an age that you leaving for 4 days isn't going to scar them for life.

What ifs? Well, what if you are hit by a bus tomorrow? What if, lighting strikes your house? What if .... Those two words together can cause so much grief to a person.

Your kids will grow up and leave. Are you going to following them all their lives?

I have two kids. I will tell you that I think it is healthy for the Mom to go away for a few days. I believe my little trips made me a better Mom. I also think if you asked my kids, they would say they enjoyed the time they spent with their dad or grandparents.

So what should you do? Personally, you should go and have a blast. BUT if you are going to be a party pooper, don't go. I think you have it in you to have a great time with you friend and enjoy. But that is me.

You probably would have a good time, but your anxiety is going to ruin it. It's not fair to your friend if you totally freak out and have a horrible time. I'd pass for now. Start with a smaller trip--closer to home.

I did the same thing when my kids were little, but it was SO worth it when I went.

DO IT!! Your kids and you will be fine, and you will be really happy you went. Get a prescription for Xanax if you need it for the flight.

I think these are feelings that every mother has when we're away from our kids. I think they're perfectly normal. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go away. If the person taking care of your kids is trustworthy & responsible (your husband, your parents?) then you need to talk to your anxiety and calm it down. Self talk is when your rational mind calms down your anxiety.

We all get anxious - but most of us don't allow it to control us. You can get past this. As for flying - statistically it IS safer than driving...

Get a scrip for some Xanax and go. Only one night away from your kids in 11 years? You need a break. A little separation once in a while is good for you and them.

Just because no one else said this -

Do you have a will? If not, have one done and specify who should get custody of your children so that they do not end up in your state protective services. Write a letter to each child, to be opened just in case. In each, tell them what you want them to know - what you value about them, maybe a condensed version of their birth story or something about a time before they can remember.

Then go, and have fun.

I do understand though. Am doing a business trip that requires flying for a few days later in the year and freaking out about leaving my babies.

Hugs!