Trouble Getting Her to NAP

Updated on October 16, 2006
B.S. asks from Durham, NC
33 answers

I have a 10-week-old daughter (our 1st). I'm doing my best to get her on a schedule, but I know it's still a little early. She sleeps VERY WELL at night, but she refuses to take naps. I know she is tired because she gets super cranky & starts crying. She just fights the napping so hard. Does anyone have any advice? I've played w/ the timing & have tried really hard to catch her before she gets overtired. I've tried different kinds of music, rocking, walking her. Nothing seems to work (well except nursing her to sleep in my bed -- but I don't want to get in that habit!!). I'm just at a loss. I know she needs sleep! Thanks a lot!

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B.S.

answers from Greensboro on

If she's good with taking a bath, the warm water does wonders for my little girl and a touch of lavander and chamomille baby lotion. Does the trick for me everytime.

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D.W.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hi B.-
Have you tried putting her in a swing or bouncy vibrating seat
prior to her getting to the super cranky stage? My child
LOVED the fan above the stove...just the constant noise.

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S.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Try swaddling; as others have mentioned. Swaddle Me infant wrap is great - BabiesRus sells them for about 15-20 dollars, they come in newborn, small, med, large sizes. Always buy a little smaller then you actually think, they run big. My son LOVED them - went to sleep almost instantly. There's also a cute alternative to the tighter swaddle ... we used these to - here's the link:

www.cozycocoon.com

keeping the room a little cool, with some noise was always a good trick for us too, we use "the first years" sound machine, we still use it at 7 months old! it plays continuous ocean waves, and he loves it!
good luck

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I am very picky about schedules with my two kids who are 2 1/2 and 4. I started in right at 3 months, which is the same time I started sleeping them in their cribs in their own rooms. What worked for me is they seemed to be ready about 2 hours after they first had woken up. I wouldn't give them the chance to get cranky, I just took them upstairs and laid them in bed. They would cry at first, but after a while, sometimes a good 10 - 15 minutes, they would settle themselves down and fall asleep. This is a great way for them to learn a little independence early on. Then, they would take an afternoon nap too, normally around 1 or 2. I could always tell when they were ready to give up that morning nap and take just the afternoon nap when they started having trouble falling asleep for their afternoon nap. Now, my 2 year and 8 month boy is starting to take a good hour or two to fall asleep at night for his 8:30 bedtime, so I'm about to cut out his one nap he takes. This is a really bad time for a mom since that is our only break in the day to ourselves!! Plus, 2 1/2 is a little early, but every kid is different.

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S.W.

answers from Louisville on

I know the feeling! my boy is only 4 months old but we have the same problem. He sleeps great at night(thank goodness), but is not a great napper. Have you read the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child"? it has some great advice. They say within 2 hours of getting up you should but them down so if she needs to be rocked you should start 1 1/2 hours after she wakes up. I have found that helps a lot. Have you tried just using the pacifier instead of nursing I have been doing that to and that is a lot better so they don't get dependent on nursing either. Hope this helps!!! Wait I just figured out 10 weeks not 10 months! It will take awhile but keep encouraging the schedule and actually you may want her to go down in an hour she is still pretty young. When you put her down she will be happy and may put herself to sleep. I actually am still napping in the swing and am trying to transition into the bed yikes!

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T.S.

answers from Greensboro on

I have a 5 year old and a 19 months year old and both are very good about sleeping times. I attribute this to being consistant and not expecting too much out of them. As most of your responses have pointed out...your baby is still very young and full of many insecurities as far as being without mommy. Your baby DOES feel secure up next to you and that is what it might take to get her to sleep right now. This is what worked for me...twice. Nurse her to sleep but pick a nap during the day that you try to lay her down before she is fully asleep. If she cries, pick her up and sooth her by holding and whispering to her. Lay her down again, if she cries, pick her up and nurse her to sleep. Do this every day at the same time giving her and yourself an extra try at laying her down before she falls asleep. She will learn that her bed is secure also. It takes alot of patience and low expectations, but in time she will like her own bed. In the meantime, enjoy holding and loving your newborn. They grow so fast! Both of my children go down for either naps or night time without a fight. However, I do miss those rockings every once in a while! Good luck!

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

There is a book that you have to get called The Baby Whisper. A nanny and I believe she is a nurse wrote the book and she has been doing her job for a long time. She has some of the most neat, creative things to deal with your infant, all from feeding, to getting them to take naps. We used this with our daughter and we never had schedule issues, she slept through the night at 6 weeks, and it was just terrific. I know how hard it is when they get overtired and just cannot go to sleep, it is hard to see them cry that hard and be that upset. I wish you the best.

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D.A.

answers from Charleston on

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" is my bible. It basically tells you how to recognize sleep signals so your baby doesn't get over tired and then will not fall asleep on there own. Its goal is to teach your child to sooth itself to sleep. My son is 19 months old. He has been sleeping through the night since month 4 and sleeps 11 hours a night with a 21/2 to 3 hour nap a day. Yes, every baby is different but the techniques in this book work if you stick with it. It is hard but hang in there. The better they sleep during the day, the better they sleep at night. Consistant soothing techniques is key! Good Luck.

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C.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I had a similiar situation with my now 14 month old son. Swaddling worked really well even when I wasn't holding him. Also we bought a mobile (the traditional type) and the style that hooks on the side of the crib that shines an image on the ceiling for baby to watch. I have since removed the traditional mobile but still have the one that hooks on the crib and it still works in helping him get to sleep. The swing suggestion in the post before mine is good too. I had both the full sized Ocean Wonders swing that could be adjusted to rock in like a cradle and the portable version as well.Good luck!!

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M.

answers from Louisville on

When my son what an infant one day I realized that I just needed to put him in his bed. He was very fussy and did everything rock, walk, feed but what he really needed was to be in his bed without any stimuli. He started taking long naps and was always a very happy baby.

Thanks

M.

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J.W.

answers from Iowa City on

When my girls were that age they took 3 naps a day. I would try to decide what you want to do for naps, and let her cry herself to sleep in her crib. My first was like that. she would fall asleep nursing, and fight it if we just laid her down. It took me a while to break my first one of it mainly because I didn't want to hear her cry. Lay her down awake and let her learn to soothe herself to sleep. It could take awhile to teach her, but it will be well worth it in the end. My 2nd child was much easier. I would nurse her a 2nd time in the morning around 9 and then lay her down in her crib and she would take her nap. Then she would take 2 naps in the afternoons, and sleep all night. My oldest didn't need as much sleep, and dropped all naps around age 3. Our doctor said some children just don't need as much sleep. Hope this helps. Feel free to email me.

J.

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H.F.

answers from Lafayette on

Girl, I had the same problem with my now 22-month-old little boy. I nursed him for a little over a year, and he did not like taking naps for the longest. We actually had to take him across the parking lot to my grandmother's apartment everyday just to get him to sleep. He'd sleep for everyone but us. Then, we did what we did to get him to sleep through the night--we let him cry it out. I'm telling you, it will eventually work. You have to let them know that it is time to sleep and that you are NOT going to give in no matter what they do--otherwise, they'll do whatever it takes until they know you're going to give in. Now, sometimes my son still whines a little at nap time, but he knows we're not going to give him and get him out of bed, so he doesn't do it for long. Same thing at night. Good luck, and keep me posted on how it goes.

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J.B.

answers from Columbia on

Dear B., hate to break it to you but that little girl is still very young and it does oftentimes take longer to get into a "schedule" than we hope. I did, howver, have a very similar situation with my son, who is now 13 months. he was very "nosy"(and still can be).I used to have to rock him while drapping a blanket over him and humming to him. Think about it, your daughter is in a huge new world all she may need is the closeness of you. try lying with her and singing anything, just to hear your voice.trust me this will all get easier over time.best wishes.

J. B.

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P.

answers from Spartanburg on

I keep telling myself, at least she's sleeping through the night so I can get through these days. My daughter is 8 weeks old and she's just starting to learn how to sleep during the day. Mostly I still hold her and let her sleep on me for 10 minutes before putting her in the crib - then she only sleeps for 30-45 minutes.
She's just started having a "fit" before sleeping. Instead of walking and singing, now I just hold her tight and lightly bounce her and let her work it out and she's asleep in minutes.
I'm finding now that if she's on her playmat or wakes in her crib and starts to cry and I can't get there right away (I'm in the bathroom, etc) then she ends up falling asleep on her own.
It will get better! Slowly but surely. It is time to start thinking about a schedule, but don't force it yet. Do what you can to make her sleep - her little brain needs the downtime. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

There really isn't anything wrong with nursing her to sleep, especially at 10 weeks old. At 10 months old she'll be old enough to lay down for naps on her own, but at 10 weeks, she still needs you to help her do a lot of that stuff.

When my little one was a baby I used to lay down with him & we would nurse and nap together. God knows you need your naps too! If I didn't feel like sleeping, I would sit in a recliner with a boppy pillow & let him fall asleep nursing. I just let him nap on me a lot of the time, then I could read a book or something.

Cherish this time together, especially since she's your only right now. If you have more kids, you won't have time like this with her very often in the future. Forget all the housework, bills, cooking, cleaning, etc. that you have to do. This is your baby and she'll only be your baby for a short time. All that other stuff will still be there when you get to it and your husband can help you with it (hopefully).

Good Luck!
L.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I suggest maybe you take her into your room and let her cry it out. I had to do that with mine and I know it can be heard and maybe brake your heart but thats the best thing. Their not getting hurt and if you need to keep the door cracked so you can peek at her when shes having her "tantrum". When I started this she started napping with out any problems. I also had one of those bouncers and she would nap in it also she loved that more than a swing, being rocked or a walk.
M.

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A.C.

answers from Charlotte on

I had trouble getting my son to nap when he was around that age. At the advice of a friend who is a mother of 2, I began putting him down consistantly at the same times everyday (whatever times work best). I used 10, 1, and 4. I would usually rock him or hold him quietly for a while before to try and get him drowsy. I would then put him down. I would let him lay in his crib for about 20- 30 min (I let this be his time on his own and my time to do a few things I needed to). At first he cried for a while and I am not sure he really slept any but by the second day he was falling a sleep within about 5 min. By the next week he was falling a sleep at nap time before I could get him upstairs. I also tried really hard to stimulate him and not let him sleep between nap times.

Before this his naps were very unorganized and he would sleep for 20 mins here and there. If you can get him on a schedule it really makes things easier and if well worth it! I found that I had more patients with him because I knew when he was going down and I knew when a break was coming.

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J.

answers from Indianapolis on

I always recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth - it really helped me with my now 14 month old son. I second the swaddling recommendation, and I don't think at 10 weeks it's too big a deal to nurse her to sleep either. Good luck!

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D.H.

answers from Owensboro on

Hi B.,
my daughter was the same way? But i liked the fact that she sleept trought the night! After while i just layed down and nursed her and we both had a nice little nap together. I like naping and we still nap together thats our snuggle time. but you need to find what fits you best.

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J.H.

answers from Lexington on

I second the idea about the Baby Whisperer... there is also a babywhisperer.com where you can get tons and tons of ideas from other moms and dads. Although not popular, I also combined with baby whisperer the Baby Wise method... our little one was just a little tough at first as well, and now sleeps so well whenever we put her down. The baby whisperer doesn't allow for any alone crying, but I can't believe a little (and I do mean a little bit) crying can do too much damage, especially when she's first learning things. We just created a routine, then created a bedtime and naptime ritual, and always stick to it. She cried and cried the first couple of days, for varying times, and I would always go in after a few minutes to check on her and reassure her, but once she realized this is just "what we do", she quit the crying right away, and now smiles up at me and plays with her "baby" until she drifts to sleep peacefully. The most important thing I got from baby whisperer is to not set something up that you aren't going to be able to follow through with each and every time-- in other words, napping in your arms, or nursing to sleep (which I did too for a while!) or walking, or whatever-- be prepared to do that each and every time your little one wakes. Both books teach independent sleep, which is so good and so important for babies to learn. The Baby Wise method taught me that I, not my baby, decide when naps start, and I decide when they end-- in other words, don't be manipulated by a little crying, because eventually she'll learn that if she cries long and hard enough, you will get her and give her what she wants. Now of course, any time the crying "changes" and becomes more intense, she gets an immediate response from me, so that she knows if something is wrong, she's safe. But if she just doesn't want to be there, then she's not going to just get to get up for that reason. Sleep was the most challenging thing for us (so far anyway), and you're not alone! Good luck whatever you choose!

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M.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi B.,
The book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, could help.
Good luck!

M.

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K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi B.,
I had the same sorts of problems. My advice - she is still so young that you are not going to ruin her by letting her sleep on you or with you. i went through hell trying to sshhh her in her crib to get her back to sleep. My daughter wouldn't take naps in her crib at around the same age. I let her sleep on me and then just kept trying to put her back in her crib every once in a while. I would give yourself another two weeks to a month to just do what you need to do to get her to sleep. At around 3 1/2 months she just started sleeping in her crib no problem. She is now 4 1/2 months and we still aren't getting long naps on a schedule - anywhere from 30 or 45 minutes to an hour and a half - but are working on it. Please give yourself a break from forcing the issue, do what you need to do right now, and just keep trying occassionally to put her back. If she is sleeping in her crib at night, its not like she won't go back in for naps ever again. Good luck!

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S.O.

answers from Charleston on

I also agree with the swing, it worked well for my little girl when she was that age. Also, nursing to sleep is perfectly fine! I still do it and my daughter is almost a year. Or have you thought about wearing her in a sling during the day and letting her nurse and nap while she is in there. My daughter loved her sling. And that way if you don't want to sleep or have things to do around the house, you can still do them. It is the best of both worlds! Here is a website that has all sorts of different slings. I have ordered 3 from them as my daughter has grown. attatchedtobaby.com

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J.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Do you have a swing? My son (who is now 5 mo) loved napping during the day in his swing. I actually have 2 swings--and when he was that little, I found the smaller, more portable one was better for him (it's the Fisher Price Aquarium POrtable Swing--avail just about everywhere). It has soothing music, and doesn't go as fast as the big swing does. I used to put him in there, with a paci, and snuggled with a blanket over him, and he would sometimes nap for 3-4 hrs in there! And the best part about it--it's PORTABLE! So, whatever room you are in, you can easily move it, and even move it with her sleeping!

Also, if she is only 10 weeks old, don't be too stuck on trying to get into a routine, yet. They are so unpredictable at that age! :)

Good luck!

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T.R.

answers from South Bend on

Both of my kids slept in our bed when they were infants. I think it helps with the bonding! Durning the day and at night i would rock them to sleep and then put them in their crib by our bed. Of course they would wake up and i would feed them and just sleep with them at night. But now they are 5 & 3 and both sleep in their own beds. I am a big believer that when they get to the age of 3 or even before you can slowly change their sleeping habits, even if you have to lay down with them in their bed to get them asleep. That is my favorite time it reminds me of when they were babies and that is cherished time you never get back.

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T.R.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi B.!

I have one of those! My daughter has always been a good nighttime sleeper, which everyone told us we were so lucky -- but I am not sure I liked the trade off of not much napping during the day. When she first came home, the only place she would nap was on someone - when you put her down, she would wake up. She was a cat napper (15 minutes here, 20 minutes there, etc.)-- is a little better now (she is almost 10 months), but not on a strict schedule by any means. Suggestions....hmmm..have you tried walking her in the stroller? mine would fall asleep if I did some serious singing and dancing - the more bouncing the better...she fought sleep and still does - but she is getting better.

I guess I don't have much advice - other than hang in there..it does get a little bit better as they get older -- I hope! Good Luck!

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J.

answers from Louisville on

have you tried swaddling her really tight. Like they did at the hospital when she was first born. This worked really good with our daughter, and she also loved her swing.

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D.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

When babies are that little it is hard to get them on a schedual b/c their needs change daily until they get a little older. With my kids, and I will do it with this one when he is born, when I knew there was nothing wrong but being tired, I layed them down and let them cry themselves to sleep. Usually it took no more than 10 minutes and they were asleep. Does she take a passy? Maybe she just needs to suck. Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Terre Haute on

hi B.
i don't see anything wrong with nursing her to sleep.thats what i did.she is only 10 weeks old.she has been close to your body for nine month and now all the sudden she is expected to sleep on her own?
of course she should eventually be able to do this but at 10 weeks she is still very young for this.
also i do not believe in letting them cry themselfs to sleep.people tell me if you don't, you spoil them and i ask them how can you spoil somebody by loving them?
i remember walking through the house one night absolutely exhausted because my little girl did not want to go to sleep.i was so frustrated and tired,that i had to lay her down to get away for 2 minutes and wouldn't you know it:she fell right asleep without a peep.i had overstimulated her.she was feeling my frustration and tention and that had kept her up.
one other time when she did not want to go to sleep i put her in her swing and the motion and the sound of the motor turning put her right to sleep.
just because one method works one time does not mean it will always work.
don't be discouraged this stage will pass ,as do all.
hope this helps
good luck
M.

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K.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

It's ok to nurse her to sleep! Please don't let anyone tell you this is "bad". Obviously babies enjoy it- it's so comforting to them and such a sweet way to help them fall asleep. :) I've got 3 and have nursed them all to sleep - not every time- LOL. My one year old nurses to sleep then I unlatch her and put her in bed.

Your little one is still so small and these days are SO fleeting so enjoy this special, close time with your baby. :)

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T.P.

answers from Charlotte on

I'm not sure this helps but at least you know you are not alone. My son had tummy problems on top of refusing a nap unless I held him all day. If I tried to put him down any time after he dozed off in my arms he would wake immediately. I was not able to get him to take a nap in his own crib until he was 7 months old. At that time he would put himself to sleep. I literally spent most of the day holding him while he slept and they DO take a lot of naps when they are little. I am so sorry this is happening to you. However, it seemed like it was overnight that he started this new routine and he would take as many as 4 naps per day. I would take "special" toys or trinkets (something maybe I could hang on the inside of his crib) that would have little things he could touch and maybe even a baby safe mirror that naturally angled down so he could see himself. He would lay in his crib and try to touch the items hanging down (making sure he could reach them so he would not get frustrated) and he would eventually doze off. What I mean by "special" is only let him play with his special toys when he is in the crib. Other wise he will be bored of them. I hope something I said helped. Good Luck

P.S. Like your baby, mine actually slept in his crib at night from the time he was 2 1/2 months old. Great habit to start

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I also have one your age that usued to have the same problem. I also have an 18 month old who is a GREAT sleeper and takes 1 2-3 hour nap a day. When he goes down for a nap I put my 11 week old down to doing this...I nurse him until he's done or falls asleep. If he's still awake after he's done I rock him to sleep with his paci (he's gotta have that) then I lay him in his bed. I know I shouldn't do this next part but I am very careful since he can move his head on his own and I check on him often...I lay him on his stomach. This is the ONLY way he will nap for more than a minuite. Like I said I check on him frequently just incase there is a problem. He used to only sleep for 15 minutes and that got old really fast so one day I decided to let him cry it out, and ever since then he sleeps for an hour or more! It worked for me!

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S.K.

answers from Louisville on

I'm not criticizing anyone with my advice but letting your baby cry herself to sleep is not the answer. I've heard this a million times and my pediatrician told me it is BS! She is only 10 weeks old for God's sake. There isn't anything wrong with nursing her to sleep and as she gets older you can try some of the other methods that currently aren't working. I used to rock my daughter and she would fight it but eventually she would go to sleep (I also gave her a fleece blanket every single time I rocked her and she would hold it in her hand and run her fingers along the seem as she got older and would go to sleep on her own). It is okay for them to have something that is a security (a blanket, a doll or something else) to hold on to when it is nap time. Good Luck, every child is different and you will find what is right for your baby to help her nap. My daughter is 7 and I still lay down with her sometimes and 'tickle' her back until she goes to sleep, and I love every minute of it!

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