When I first ready your posting, I thought of that show "Everybody Loves Raymond."
Okay, but It's really your Hubby that ALSO has to signal to his dear Mommy, that there are 'Boundaries."
There is your "private" life as a family... and "public" in which the relatives/in-laws can or cannot be privy too. You need to decide what and when that is... AND Hubby too.
MIL seems a bit attached in a ball and chain kind of way. I would be irked too. Yes, she's nice and means well... but it is also interfering. Yes?
My Mom lives with us... in the same house. We have finally gotten our boundaries in line. Together. Because, we ALL talked about it... you need to communicate without trying to ex-communicate someone. My Mom used to feel SHE could "decide" whatever and whenever and however the children were handled, since she is the "Grandma" and the "Senior." But, now, she understands that we as the Parents, are the PRIMARY pivot in our childrens lives. She knows when to defer to us... AND, our eldest child "knows" that even if Grandma "allows" her something... that she must FIRST ask US for permission. If out shopping.. .if my Mom is going to buy her something that she's not sure about, my girl will actually tell her Grandma "We have to ask Mommy & Daddy first..." Our girl has learned responsibility at her young age regarding "who" is in charge. We are proud of her. But also, my Mom respects this. We rarely have any conflicts about it anymore. -Perhaps you need to teach your girl, about this as well.
It's a work in progress... your MIL needs to know, that "Parents" are the one's who decide things.
In light of all the things she buys for your child... she really needs to learn how to "ask permission" first. I mean.. do you even lay down "rules" for your child and the family? It seems that MIL controls everything... Your girl seems to defer to her Grandma and what she says... rather than you/Hubby....your daughter at only 22 months old, "tells" you she is going to go to Nana & Poppa's house...and no one asks YOU if this is okay. This is kinda, not good. You don't need to give in to her... there has to be limits....as your girl gets older, you can't just have Grandma buy anything willy nilly without forethought or respect to you as Parents. As your girl gets older, it gets more complicated, and you don't want your girl getting confused or mixed up signals about what is right/wrong, good/bad, allowed/not allowed in life.
Before Grandma and my girl go out shopping for example, My Mom will ask us if it's okay. Then we say "yes, thanks for asking first." Then before they leave, we kindly explain to her and my girl what she can or cannot buy...ie: "no candy,.. or nothing expensive..." for example. You see, we lay down "rules" BEFOREHAND. It clears up the whole picture for everyone. Plus, my girl "learns" that it's not a shopping spree.. and it's "special" and that WE her "Parents" are deciding.
Also, um, it's surely your Hubby that needs also to wise up about this. When a man marries.. it is his WIFE and children that comes first... not his "Mommy" anymore. I think MIL is not cutting the apron strings. It's a handicap... and creates handicaps in others, as you can see... she seems to like having Hubby and your girl dependent on her.
Yes, she is nice, you all get along, she means well, she's caring..... but, she is usurping even YOUR family from enjoying your children and the ability to buy things for them. This is really... monopolizing them. I think. Just my opinion.
Doting Grandparents are a blessing and great....but not if they are given free reign on your own family or children AND Hubby and privacy. I mean, your MIL even "texted" your Hubby and then called just because she heard your girl cryng???? Egad... that's a little too much. Um.... priorities.
take more time in visiting your own family, even if they are 30 minutes away. That's not that far. AND have THEM come over too. Try to create a balance... they need to see you and their grandchildren too. And, your girl/new baby "needs" to "know" them too.
You seem very caring.. and patient and accommodating. There is nothing wrong with that.. .but you wrote here for advice, so it must bother you to some extent about MIL's behavior and it's impact on your girl and Hubby. You appreciate all their loving... but at the same time... there are boundaries, and "rules" which the Parents have over their children and family. Children ALSO need to know this. From a young age... my girl would start to only listen to my Mom/Grandma & my Mom was very overly attached to my eldest girl too... but it was not good... and we taught both my Mom AND our daughter that she needs to ask US, the Parents about things... that WE are the one's who decide. And now, we have a very good dynamic and understanding about it... because we have "rules" of the road so to speak. Children should not be confused about it either.
Sorry if I sounded too blunt. But it's just my own experience and what helped us.
Good luck,
Susan