Trying to Conceive Baby #2

Updated on December 13, 2007
M.H. asks from Springfield, VA
10 answers

Hi all! I'm hoping to get some ideas and experiences from you all. My husband and I have been trying to conceive our second child for a few months now. With my first, all I did was the "14 day" rule of having intercourse 14 days after the start of your period and it worked. Tried one month and it happened! Because of this, I have high expectations and thought I would be pregnant again by now. I have now started using the basal thermometer and the LH test strips. Both on the same day told me I was going to ovulate within the next 48 hours so we "tried" during that time, still no luck. I'm starting to get worried. I know many people try for years, but has anyone else had the experience of the first time being too easy and the second time being difficult? The only thing that has changed is that neither my husband or I are in as good of shape as we were 3 years ago. My husband is slighty overweight, but you would never think that looking at him. I am about 15 pounds heavier than I was, but when I look up my height and weight, I am just on the border of being overweight, I would need to gain 5 more pounds. I have been taking just a generic prenatal vitamin since last spring. The first time, I used a Rx vitamin, but my doctor told me not to worry about doing that because they are all the same. When I did label comparing, they really are! I guess I just need to here some stories, thanks!

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So What Happened?

When you are right, you are right! I am going to chill out and put the test strips away!! Red wine could never be a bad thing! I'm just glad to know that the second one can take longer. Merry Christmas everyone and thank you so much!

More Answers

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E.L.

answers from Orlando on

My husband and I had been trying for about 6 months and I was sure that after stopping the pill I would get pregnant quickly, but that didn't happen. I decided to use an ovulation calendar and after doing so I got pregnant immediately. My due date is 12/30! We are so excited! You should try it. You can go online and register for a free calendar. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Try not to stress out about it. My husband and I got pregnant right away with out first. When we began trying for our second, I too thought that it would happen right away. Well, it didn't. It took seven months!!!! We are currently 14 weeks pregnant with baby #2! Hang in there. It will happen when it's supposed to.

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T.W.

answers from Orlando on

First thing is to stop worrying about it. With my 3rd we tried for 7 months and nothing. We went of vacation to Alaska for 10 days and got pregnant while there. Just take the pressure and the stress off of yourself. It'll happen when it happens on natures time not yours. You can't be in control of everything in your life and making a baby is part of that.
Relax and have sex with your husband when you both want to and feel like and are wanting to share yourselves with each other and not trying to make a quota. You both will appreciate it later. Nobody wants to have sex and it feel like a chore. You want your baby to be created out of a loving situation.
So, have a glass of wine or two, lights some candles, put on something nice and you and your husband have fun. Next thing you know you'll be expecting a new little bundle of joy.

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J.B.

answers from Orlando on

Hi M.,

I have heard of 'secondary infertility' before, but I don't think that is the issue. Just relax (like the others before said) enjoy the experience and it will happen. I went totally off BC after 1st, and had 'unprotected sex' for 8 months, very regularly, when we got preg. with #2. Not trying, just happened. We enjoyed the freedom, as we wanted another, but were really hoping for about 2 years between the 2. Oh well! 3 years later, we have our 'completed family' and wouldn't change a thing. Good luck, enjoy and RELAX!

J.

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K.R.

answers from Ocala on

i agree with everyone else...you just need to relax. plus planning when you have sex and checking everything all the time could put stress on your marriage, since it sure doesn't sound very exciting. my sister and her husband got pregnant immediately, but with their second it took almost a year. just let it happen and i'm sure you'll be buying new baby clothes in no time. good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Orlando on

Personally, both of mine weren't planned. I was on birth control with both of them! However, my best friend wanted to have a baby so bad. She was stressing way too much over when to try, how many times, what time of the month, day and hour. She was trying way too hard. I told her to just let it go, that when she is ready for a baby, she'll get pregnant. It took her about a mnth or two to finally just stop trying so hard and worrying about why she wasn't pregnant already, and VIOLA! She was pregnant 3 weeks later!

I don't think weight has much to do with getting pregnant or not. I'm 250 lbs. And have given birth twice. I think it is stress and worrying about the fact that you aren't pregnant yet. Just relax, enjoy life, and when the time is right, you'll have a baby.

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D.H.

answers from Tampa on

M.,

I'm in the same boat as you. We got pregnant with #1 about 3 weeks after our wedding. We weren't really trying, but we weren't preventing either. I went of BCPs Thanksgiving 2006, so we've now been trying for a year. My cycles have been irregular and I'm not ovulating regularly. I'm on my third cycle of Clomid. I was just diagnosed with PCOS and started taking Metformin this cycle too. I did ovulate this cycle either.

I don't have much advice for you, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this. It's only been a few months for you. Be patient. My doctor had me try on my own for 8 or 9 months before they starting assisting me.

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

I've read once that a woman is only fertile for 48 hours each month. I found out that I was ovulating the two days before my period -- that's 3 weeks after my period!!!

((My doctor had told us that most women are fertile as you said -- 14 days later -- so at first she had recommended we try every other day during that second week. We tried for a year and a half. No babies!))

I finally stopped obssessing, and just followed my friend's advice.......red wine, no stress and whatever will be will be, ca sera sera.

Two days before my period, you know when you are a little puffy & kinda not in the mood -- that's my particular time.

Go figure? I timed my last child exactly for that time......I'd like one more -- but after three, I think we are done now.

Destress.
Walking is good all the time for both of you.
Red wine helps.
De-focus on wanting "a baby."
And change your "date night" calendar
to see what happens.
p.s.
AVOID bubble baths & hot tubs -- according to one friend of mine who was trying for her second and not becoming pregnant.......she kept taking bubble baths and she thinks
that prevented her pregnancy.....she read something "scientific" about needing the mucous that others are mentioning.............
BUT
ABOVE ALL --
destress -- try yoga, walking, mini-vacations....take your mind off of it.....and above all -- have FUN with your hubbie.......two children definitely changes your life & marriage after having one child..........(mostly good
but definitely more work!)

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M.R.

answers from Orlando on

Lol...Not I. My husband could get me pregnant from across the street without aiming. It's sick. Good luck with it.

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M.

answers from Orlando on

Hi M.,

My doctor gave me this advice and it worked for me twice. Have sex with your partner every other day from the start of your period. He can not "relieve" himself on the oposite day.

Hope this helps it did for me twice.

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