Trying to Get Teenage Daughter to Remember to Lock Her Car!

T.,
I know this is going to be way to harsh for some of the mama's out there but it works. I had a friend when I was a teen who couldn't remember to lock her car. It wasn't a big deal where we lived (middle of nowhere!) but when we got out of highschool & went to "the city" they worried that something might happen to her. The solution? They got a very close friend of the family to hid in the backseat of the car with a mask on and a toy gun (looked real). He "kidnapped" her, made her drive him to another location & got out. It scared some sense into her & made her realize what could happen. Her parents eventually told her that they had arranged it and yeah she was upset for a bit but knew that by them doing that it probably saved her from the real thing.
Not trying to convince you to do this but I think whatever you do needs to be drastic. For her safety & well being. Good luck!

Also, if she leaves anything of value in the car and it gets stolen (esp if the car is not locked), she can be held legally responsible, get a ticket, and insurance won't pay for it.

SHe needs to understand that not only is it her responsibility, but she is legally accountable for what may happen.

My parents would have not let me drive the car, period. They also made me write essays and research papers on statistic of stolen cars, saftey of intruders in cars, laws on property value left in cars, and the reasons why it pertained to me. (I had to research whatever offense I had commited) It always stuck with me and gave me a clearer understanding of what I was actually doing wrong so I could be more consceince of my choices (or lack of them).

I would steal the car! Let her go with out it for a week...I am sure she would learn to remember to lock it after that. Just make sure she doesnt call the police.

When my keys were stolen from school one day after telling my mom. She picked up my car without telling me and I had already called the police to report it stollen. Turned out she had a spare and drove the car home for me.

So just let her know that reported it so she doesnt. Then later tell her that the car was found. And hopefuly after a LONG lecture she will have learned her lesson.

I come from very tough love parents and am pretty much the same myself. I would definately pull the driving privlidges completely for a while every time you catch the door unlocked! I don't know how the finances are arranged with the car, but maybe if she was more financially responsible for things that might help? Make her contribute to the car pmt, insurance, etc. I know my brother is 17 and the things he bought himself and he is financially responsible for he takes much BETTER care of than things he was given. You might also be able to get info from your insurance company about auto theft and the reprocussions (ie-insurance going up, etc). Tie as MANY consequences to her actions as you possibly can until she gets it and starts locking the car!!
Hope this helps and good luck!!!
~H.

Why don't you try putting a note on the door she enters the house on that says "DID U LOCK UR CAR???" And she can put one on her stiring wheel too! Once she gets in the habbit of visually seeing it all the time her brain will train intself. Or she can also set reminders on her cell phone to go off every two hours that will say "did you lock your car" Its worth a shot. You can also see about getting some video's about people that where kidnapped or murdered because they left thier car doors open, maybe seeing some true horror stories will get her in gear

I guess I am lucky if your talking about your daughter locking her car when she is driving my car automatically lockes it's self when it is taken out of park! I am and have been working with my Grandson who is 16 for 2 years on locking my car when he gets out of it! He still forgets sometimes! Thank God that I have the thingy on my keys that locks, unlocks, and starts my car on them so I can just push the lock from my kitchen and it locks! But when my GS goes somewhere (I am in the car) he always locks the car! I am hoping that he remembers this when he gets his license in the near future!

It is very dangerous for your daughter to not lock her car! If she is in it or not! Someone could get in it and hide behind her seat! I hope she checks in the car even if she did lock it! Have you brought this up to her? Maybe being afraid is better when it comes to not locking the car! Or being afraid if she did lock it also! Keeps us on our toes and it keeps us from getting lazy and not checking for someone being in your car waiting for you to get in! I am not trying to scare you even more but trying to give you something to scare her with so maybe she will be more apt to lock her car!

Good luck, Gail

Hello,
My name is M. Harris and i am a student with 4 kids. as far as any help...well u can do what my mom did to me. She had a neighbor put his dog in my car once and another time she moved my car and parked it around the corner. Now these were just April fools jokes but it worked.
Good Luck

T.,

I would get an alarm system installed. They aren't too terribly expensive and she might be able to remember easier if she has to get out and hit the button...or even easier, you could get one installed that locks automatically after a certain amount of time. Other than that, I can't think of anything that would help her...

Hi T.,

You might want to look at Love and Logic for some guidance. She is of age that natural consequences would be best. Maybe it should be something like "I will let you drive the car as long as you keep it secured." IF the car is not secured, she does not drive it. She will find her own rides, etc. You might also ask her what she would do if it got stolen. Let her know that:
* You will not pay for her next car
* She would have to deal with all the headaches associated with it
* How would she get to school?
* She would have to pay you back for the car (if you did indeed buy it for her)

Boy, she has a lot to think about, doesn't she? Right now she does not have to worry too much because you are doing all of it for her. It is hard, but by being a "helicopter" mom, you are not doing her any justice.

Release the responsibility to her...she definitely is of age and she may step up. We learn to be helpless, so when she sees the risks are not yours, she may pay more attention.

i am guessing that she doesnt have automatic locks? this is a little off your subject of locking the doors when she gets out, but she should also get in the habit of locking them when she gets in! esp. since she is going off to college soon...you may not think it will happen to you but if you're stopped anyone could just jump in!
just a side note!

I am just "mean" enough to do this one... You & hubby follow her one day where she is going to stay for a little while- mall movies... & "steal" her car. Keep it over at a friend's for a day. Play along, but keep it real "love & logic", when she calls you freaked out & in a panic about her car being gone. Pick her up & take her home. Let her feel the fear of being car-less, then maybe she won't be so careless.

Who paid for the car? Maybe if the money came from her pocket, she'd feel its loss more sorely. I'd make it real clear that when the car gets stolen for real, she'll be riding the bus. And for now, she'd better start locking it or it won't be going to college w/ her- & be prepared to follow through.

D.

This is probably TMI and definitely a little embarrassing, but when I was in college, I used to tape post-it notes to my steering wheel when I needed to remember something when getting out of my car. For instance, if I was wearing very tight jeans, I would unbutton them for my commute (it was at least a 45 minute drive) and I would put a post it on my steering wheel reminding me to button my pants before I got out of the car (haha!). On rainy or overcast days, I would put a post it on my steering wheel to remind me to turn off my headlights. I didn't have automatic headlights so there was many an occasion where I had to get a jump because I'd forget to turn them off and then hours later, after getting out of classes, I'd have a dead battery. That's what worked for me back in my college days anyway.

Give her some scotch tape, a pen and some brightly colored post-its to keep in her car and have her get into the habit of writing those notes to herself before she ever starts the car. If she needs a specific reminder daily, you can actually write it up yourself and "super" tape it to her steering wheel so she'll see it every time she gets in and gets out, at least until she gets into the habit of doing it on her own. Tell her if she removes the note, you'll ground her from her car again. Good luck!