Trying to Potty Train My 2Yr Old (29 Mos) Son...... HELP!

Yes, relax. It's about their physical abilities, not emotional or psychological as much. I got the "Elmo, Potty Time" Video and it lets us know that all children are ready at different ages. I have heard they are ready when they can sleep through the night and wake up dry. This is when you know their body is ready for it. on average, starting potty training at about 2 1/2 years is what I heard... My oldest boy (now 4) wasn't potty trained till he was 3 1/2.

I agree that he's simply not ready. You're describing very typical patterns of behavior at this age. Most kids have waxing and waning interest in potty training, in which they seem to verge on being all the way there, then backslide to previous behaviors. It's normal.

Peer influence is a big factor as they get older. Kids want to be grown up, they want to be a big kid, not a little baby with diapers. It will come suddenly and effortlessly when he's all the way there.

A pediatrician we had told me once that there is a small window of opportunity between 17-19 months that boys and girls can be potty trained. Primarily b/c they are curious at this age and haven't thought too much about what they can and cannot have control over. I think prior to disposable diapers, kids in the US were potty trained much earlier then they are now.

Having said that, I of course missed that window with both my boys. Waited until the 3 year mark for both and made sure all signs of readiness were present. This can become a huge control issue. Your son doesn't sound like he's ready so I wouldn't push it. Back off and try again when he is 3- if this turns into a power struggle now it will leave a bad taste for all parties involved. I have found when/where to potty and what/when to eat are two things a toddler can have complete control over and turn to nasty business when we focus too much attention on either of them.

So, relax and wait a few months and by then you may find the key to what motivates him (sticker charts, treats, etc.).

Good luck!

Hello there...I'm actually in the same exact situation. My son is 31 months old and my daughter is 15 months. Right at 2 years old I thought he was ready..showing interest and then it disappeared. Just about two weeks ago I put his potty chair in our kitchen where he could see it and was reminded of it. This seemed to help..he has been using it successfully and we've only had a couple of accidents. I realized that trying to force him took me in the other direction..he works much better if I just back off and let him do it himself (which works for most thing with him). I would try lots of different things to see what works best for your son, even things you might think are weird (I thought the potty chair in the kitchen was kinda weird)...you will find something, it just might take a few tries. Just be patient and have fun with it..I'm sure he will enjoy it if he sees you having fun :-) I fnothing else it was nice for me to find someone else with kids the same age as mine...they are a handful at times, but like you, I wouldn't change it.

As you don't sound like you're in a hurry to have him potty trained I would wait until he's at least three. I actually trained mine at age 3 1/2 and it was pretty easy at this age. We just used points, (1 or 2 stickers of characters he likes that we posted on a giant calendar during his training period) to reward him for going in the potty, and when he made a mistake especially at home he would have to give us a hand to clean it up. It took about 5 days and the training ended and he never made a mistake again. The day care Mother's were pretty impressed as most of their kids made lots of mistakes; but it's only that I trained mine at an age where he really understood WHY he had to go in the potty and not his diapers. It's not rocket science. Good luck, and if you wait long enough you can probably train both kids simultaneously. typically girls are much faster then boys.

Hi M.,
Just take away the diapers during the day. It's the only way. Tell him in a matter-of-fact way that since he is a big boy now, he will only be making his pee and poop in the potty. In order to kick off this process, pick a weekend when you can be at home, and let him run around naked from the waist down. Run him to the potty constantly - every 15-20 minutes at first. Praise him when he gets it right, and when he pees on the floor, don't get mad, but say, "Next time you'll make it to the potty, since you're a big boy." I did this with both of my girls and they were potty trained in a couple of days. The fact that he knows when he needs to go, says that he's ready for potty training.

Don't wait or it will only get harder. You were right on to start it early, and now is the time to help him master this important skill! I've always felt that waiting for kids to be "ready" - in other words, making them figure it out on their own - is insulting to small children. It's like saying, "I think you're too dumb to get it so I'm not going to teach you, and you'll have to sit there in a diaper of poop in the meantime." I know that is not a popular view these days, but do you ever wonder why kids before the 80's were all potty trained at or before 2 years?? It's because their mothers taught them, plain and simple. You can do it - just stick with it and don't give up!!

THAT being said, night time is a different story. Kids can't always control that until later. My older daughter wet her bed until about 4.5 years old (my husband was a bed wetter as a child, too). She was so horrified when she'd wake up with a wet pull-up - she truly wanted to get it right, but was just such a heavy sleeper that she didn't wake up in time. My younger daughter mastered daytime and night time potty training all at once. So - when his pull-ups are dry pretty consistently in the mornings, take them away. Until then, just deal with daytime potty training.

Good luck! Potty training is a hassle, but it will be over quickly!

Yes, yes, yes. Just wait a few more months. He's still quite young. Have patience and wait until he shows more interest. Once he's ready it will be a snap. And nighttime won't happen until he wakes up dry most of the time.

Have you looked at this web site www.3daypottytraining.com? I wasnt too sure about it, but ended up trying it out. It WORKS! 3-days.

Good Luck

S.

Does your son attend daycare, or any social groups? Mine started to mimic his peers around that age and he worked it all out by practicing there and home. We gave him M&Ms as a treat and let him aim at Cherios. He had so much fun, he began to bring treats to me when I exited the bathroom. How thoughtful! Best treat for Moms is knowing boys really are slower to train than girls and it usually happens when they are ready. Yours still sounds young. Don't stress or pressure. They are sponges and pick up on our disappointment so easily. Make it fun.

Sounds like my almost 3 year old son. I would just keep doing what you are doing. My pedi and other mother's told me to not pressure him, just be consistent. I was also told boys potty train slower than girls, whether that is true or not I don't know. I'll find out when I start potty training my daughter. My son wakes up with a dry diaper, but won't tell us til after he goes potty in his pull-up. We just tell him pee-pee goes in the potty and sit him on the potty. We also put him on the potty through out the day. Some times it is a hit, some times a miss. Just be consistent. Good luck

Hi M.-!

I have four kids and none of them were potty trained before age 3 - they just really aren't ready before then. Some people do it, but it is really the parent that is trained, not the child. My son wasn't potty trained until he was almost 4, and my daughters trained earlier - about 3 1/2.
When your son is really really ready, it will be quick and easy and no fuss about it. Plus you really do not want to turn the potty into a battle of wills - it can cause problems later.

Good luck! (I know - diapers are a pain....:)

a good quick read is diaper free before 3. 50% of the world population has their children out of dipes by 1. Not really how we work in the U.S. so my thought is he is probably quite capable just be consistent. best of luck. I started at 11 mos. and he has only regressed due to my not pushing it

When we potty trained our daughter, I went straight to panties. I only used a pullup at nap and bed time. She didn't like the feeling of it in her panties and started to just use the toilet. It took about a week, but she got it and was potty trained at 26 months during the day and fully potty trained at 30 months.

M.,
one of the first signs of readiness to potty train is waking up with dry diapers consistently. I have 2 older kids 12 and 8 and 7 months. your child will let you know when they are ready, if you try to force him you both will become frustrated and it will take longer as well as him being reluctant. give it some time
good luck
S.

I just wanted to chime in w/ those that are saying to wait. It sounds like he is interested but just not ready. Boys, on average, train later than girls. Most experts say to not really try until boys are closer to 3 or older. My son (who turns 3 tomorrow!) waxes and wanes in his interest on the potty. We're not forcing it at all. If he wants to use the potty he will. We ask him but tell him it's ok when he doesn't want to use it. And we really encourage/reward him when he listens to his body (like stopping what he is doing b/c he has to go pee). For him, it's a matter of control and distraction. He doesn't always want to stop what he is doing to go to the potty. We started w/ rewards like m&ms or gummy bears, but that seems to not be very motivating any more. So we're backing off a little. I'm 7.5 months prego w/ boy #2 so I'd like #1 to be out of diapers but it's really up to him. I can only encourage so much. Girls are such a different story. She sounds like she'll be ready about the same time as your son. Having them train together should be a good motivator, too. Good luck and don't rush it. Everything will happen in it's own time.

Oh, one little note about EC (elimination communication)... You are the one being trained not the child. Potty independence cannot be achieved until the child can dress/undress themselves and knows when they need to do it. You can start training at any age, but they won't do it on their own until they are ready (physically and emotionally).

take care,
J.

I have a 3 yr2mo old dd. She is regressing a bit too. However, when I was visiting my SIL who has a 5MO old, she was practicing EC with the baby. She puts her on the toilet, makes a sound, and the baby goes pee or poop, or both depending on what she needs to do. It was amazing. The child waited to be held on the potty, waited for the cue and then went. It was amazing watching her contract her stomach muscles in the process... my dd thought this was great. That her baby cousin could use the potty. It was a bit easier keeping her ontrack when she saw her cousin going potty too. Maybe this would work for you if you try putting your daughter over the potty and then ask your son to go too. If he does "get" it, it could just be that he is too interested in doing whatever he is occupied with and forgets to 'listen' to his body for the cue that he needs to go.

If I had better knees (or my back wasn't shot either) I would definately have tried EC w/my dd. She used to wait until I opened the diaper before she would go poop... And she didn't like to go both in the same diaper. So in retrospect, EC would have been a doable, IF I had a cooperative body myself!!

Good Luck! And remember, he will eventually get it no matter which way you approach it. Just have patience.

I would wait until he's really ready. If he's not ready and you push it, you will both get frustrated. A lot of kids just aren't ready as early as we would like them to be!! I found that when my kids started waking up in the morning with a dry diaper, they were physically capable of "holding it", and a sign that it was time to start the training. For all 4 of my kids it was around 2 years old, but every kid is different. I have nephew who really wasn't ready until he was 3! Good luck!

Part of the reason a large chunk of the world has kids out of diapers by 1 is that they just have them without diapers at all. They let the kids go around naked. Not really the way we work inthe US (not that I disagree with the way a lot of the world does it, just this is not how we are in the US). With my son when he wasn't interested we still encouraged him to go potty every hour or so but didn't push it beyond that. If your son can't go through an entire nap without waking up with a wet diaper then he doesn't have complete control over his bladder yet. Encourage him to use the potty and help him learn the basics (like how to dress and undress himself). Then watch for the tell tale sign of him waking up with a dry diaper. As well, if you are working on having him use the potty you may want to put him into pullups. It helps because they are easier for him to get on and off so you can again work on those basics of dressing and undressing. The rule of thumb is that no matter when you start potty training if you start by around 3 then the child will be trained by just after 3. Now that's not to say that its not possible to have them trained before (My son has 2 months till his 3rd B-day and has been potty trained for a couple of months now) it's just what the averages work out to be in the US. Your daughter may train sooner (girls do tend to train sooner and quicker than boys) but remember to train her on the basics and watch for her to have those dry diapers when she wakes up.

Good luck.

Hi there,

Have you tried awarding your son everytime he goes potty in the toilet? I used that method with my daughter and it worked. Small little and affordable rewards did the trick. Like one day I told her I would take her to Toys R Us and let her pick out a small inexpensive toy if she went pee in the potty. Another time I told her she can have a piece of her favorite candy if she went in the potty. If she went in her pants, I would let her sit in it for about half hour and let her know that I know it's uncomfy and that's why we don't go in our pants. Hopefully this works for you. Good luck! Oh and don't put on diapers once you start this because it'll confuse them. Even if you take your child out, put on training underwear and put on those plastic underwear over it so he can feel the wetness if he goes in his pants. Eventually he'll get the idea. Good luck again and let me know how it goes.

I think that you just need to wait. He is only 2! My kids were 1 year apart, same as yours, my son didn't potty train until right before his 3rd birthday, my daughter potty trained at the same time by her 2nd birthday....it actually worked out just fine to do them both at once. Good Luck!

Your son sounds like mine (mine is 34 mos). The pattern sounds very familiar, and I have just figured my boy is not quite ready, so I don't want to obsess. What I am doing now is a short while after breakfast, we take of clothes from the waist down. Remembering what goes in must come out, this procedure requires that he use the potty, because he doesn't want to poop or pee in the house. The rest of the day he wears a pull up, and when it gets full he changes it. I'm not so concerned about the wet diapers as much as the poopy ones, so for us (my son and I) this is a compromise. I'm going to go big boy pants only during the day when he turns three and hope for the best.