Trying to Stop Nursing

Updated on May 30, 2007
S.H. asks from San Francisco, CA
18 answers

I have been trying to wean my 17 month old son for a few months now. Nothing I do seems to work. He has never taken a bottle, but will drink from a sippy cup. I have tried to offer milk in a sippy cup and he just throws it, cries and tugs on my shirt. I rock him and try to change the subject, but he won't give in. He will cry for hours until I give in. My grandmother told me to put hot sauce or something he doesn't like, but I couldn't do that to him. I was thinking of putting band-aids. My older son was very easy to wean off. I don't know why I thought he would be too.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone who responded. I really appreciated all of the advice. I am happy to say that I have successfully weaned my son. I tried some of the things and they didn't work with him. He still had fits and wanted to nurse. I tried one mom's advice and put band-aids. That did the trick, he saw them and I told him I had a booboo, offered the sippy cup and he took it. He cried for 20 minutes the first night, then after that he it was less and less. Now, he takes the sippy cup with no problem at bedtime. So, thank you again everyone for all of your advice.

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D.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,
My 14month old wouldn't take milk from a cup either. Until I added nesquick chocolate powder to it. After she got a taste of that, she takes the milk in a cup like nothing. Nesquick also makes strawberry. As far as weining, i wouldnt do the hot sauce, but dawn liquid dish soap ( a very small amt. applied to the breast) worked for my cousin. She told her 2.5 yr old that the milk went bad.....

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Ok - not the healthiest way - But I added chocolate to my (first 3 - and now just starting on the 4th childs) sippy cups with whole milk - They rather like the flavor and didn't mind cutting back and then quickly stopping the breast.

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R.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like my situation with my daughter. She never took a bottle either,drinks from a sippy but will not drink milk from it. I started trying to wean her at 18 months and have been doing it gradually. She's just a LITTLE bit attached lol. I figured it would be pretty easy since both my boys weaned themselves for the most part...not her though. I've just been doing it gradually. As the PP said, I started taking one away during the day and giving her her cup instead. Then when she was doing well with that took another feeding away. She will be 2 in 2 weeks and we are down to only once, bedtime, and I haven't figured out how to break that one yet. There is no one else that can put her to bed, my DH works at night, I can't let her CIO even if I wanted to because we live in a place where all my neighbors would be knocking on my door after a little while of that. I know in time she'll break it on her own so I'm not worried, but I'm interested in seeing what others suggest myself. As far as the milk in the cup....she still won't drink it, refuses completely. So I make sure she gets yogurt and cheese everyday and when she has juice I make sure it is the kind with calcium added to it. Congrats to you on BFing for so long and I hope the transition goes as smooth as possible for both of you. I know I wasn't much help, but wanted you to know you aren't alone =).

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi S.! :)

If you've chosen to stop nursing for personal reasons then please discard this. ;) hehe

It's society's rules that control when most people stop nursing. For some reason it makes the general public uncomfortable to see a child older than 1 nursing. :(
But scientists and doctors have discovered recently that children continue to benefit from breast milk up to 3 years of age! In other words, continuing to breast feed can only further improve your child's vision, immune system, and brain development.
So if you're stopping because you think you should by society's standards, then I recommend doing some research and consider continuing for a while longer. :) Who cares what people think? What's more important? Society opinion or your child's health?
Besides--you might have an easier time reasoning with him about stopping if he is a bit older. ;)

As for myself, I plan to nurse my daughter until at least age 2. We shall see...hehe :)

Best of Wishes to You!
M.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have been through it 4 times and will face weaning again in the next 6 months. I finally after 2 found something that works. One morning tell your child that they hurt, owieee or what ever you use to indicate pain, tell them that you need to go to the doctor, leave for a period of time and come back with bandgages on them, worked wonderful for me. My children would look under shirt and say all better mama, and I would say no baby but let me hold you and within day, done nursing....worth a shot
Huggs
D.

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T.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

i know it will be hard to wean your son but as someone else mentioned you can't just stop cold turkey. So try taking away 1 feeding each week. As you are transitioning my pediatricain suggested rice milk in the cup. It gives all the same nutrients as milk. It has the same fat content which they are usually concerned about when they first stop nursing. Me personally I think the rice milk taste awful but my son loves it. Come to find out it also helped with the stomach problems he was having. He could not digest the whole ilk so it worked out perfect for us.

We tried the chocolate in the reg milk didn't work . But every child is different.Just on't give in. Try to be gone for whole day where your son can't see you or sense you. That made a huge difference too. The lemon thing.. I tried it Ouch...

Well good luck,
Don't give up it will work out eventually
T.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, Congratulations on nursing so long! I nursed my daughter until 18m (now 5yrs). And am now breastfeeding my son (2 1/2m). With my daughter I got her down to just bedtime. Then after she was comfortable with that, I just refused her the breast and my husband held her to put her to sleep. This only worked because she wasn't much of a crier. She only cried a few minutes, and was more tierd than hungry. She did this for three days and was done. I have a feeling my son won't be so easy when it's his time, so I am interested to see the advice given. Don't do the hot sauce thing! You should contact la leche ____@____.com even have #'s for local lactation consultants you can call 24/7! Good Luck with this.

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B.M.

answers from San Diego on

I breastfed my daughter until she was 12 months and it was pretty hard to get her to stop. Your son can smell your milk so when you try to give him regular milk he doesn't want it. When your son is hungry and your husband or someone else is there to feed your son, leave and let them try to give him regular milk. Your son will be hungry and won't be able to smell your milk and might be more likely to drink the other stuff. Plus it might give you a break for a little while, which i'm sure your need and deserve. =) i hope this helps and that you are able to stop nursing soon. I know how hard it is.

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear S.,

This is serious, but I had to laugh at him pulling at your shirt. Why don't you just quit trying to wean him for a week or so, then try something new. Sometimes when we quit trying so hard, it happens when we start back. I am 75 and I have really seen that happen, so I am not just making it up. Also, try putting milk into his cereal and then giving him little spoonfuls of it. He will get the taste of it then and maybe give in. Also, put a bit of milk onto his jello or cookie or something like that. Sort of trick him into tasting the milk you want him to drink. Aren't they just the most precious when they are about 18 months? ....and remember that the boys are two different unique individuals and they may see the world from two view points - one is easy in some things and the other one is hard to work with.
Good Luck, C. N.

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F.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I sympathize. I breastfed my first born son for almost 2 years! Weaning is difficult, especially for your son who has never had a bottle. So, realize that weaning is going to be a gradual process and that you will need to be consistent.

Know that he will not starve himself, so if he's thirsty, give him what you normally give him (water, juice, etc.). Offer the breast only at night or in the morning, etc. but GRADUALLY. So, the first day, skip a meal at the boob. Same on the 2nd and third day, On day 4 or 5 skip 2 meals. On day 7 or 8, skip 3, etc. until you are both ready to let go.

Show your son that you will still be there in other ways, through play, interaction, reading.

Good luck!

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I BF my son to 18 months, but he also got 1 bottle a day from about 8 weeks. I took away the bottle at about 12-13 months, but brought it back to wean him off of me. It took about 3-4 weeks to drop him from 5 times a day down once at night. We went on a driving vacation during this time, and I think it really helped. He had gotten accustom to the fact that he couldn't have me while we were driving, and he couldn't have me in public, so he didn't ask for it as much. By the end of the trip he was down to about 5 minutes at night. Then about a week after we got home, he just refused to even try. At the same time, he also gave up the bottle in favor of the easier to drink from, get more- faster, sippy cup. He took a sippy cup of milk (I know, BAD Mom!) to bed every night until about a month ago.

So I guess my advice is to get REALLY busy by going places that he knows YOU are not an option. If you're okay with offering a bottle, you can pump and put it in the bottle, or put cow’s milk in it. You can also try thy Nuby cups with the bottle like top and see it he'll use that one. (My son liked the Playtex and the Munchkin cups best.) Once you've weaned him down to just 1 or 2 times a day, you can "disappear" for a few days in a row at feeding time if he JUST WON'T GIVE UP! It would be a GREAT time for hubby to learn how to put him to bed! You could take a short walk, run to the market for those mid week things we al end up needing, lock yourself in the bathroom/bedroom to read a book (ONLY if you can promise not to go out and "help"!) or go talk to a neighbor. I HIGHLY recommend doing a driving family vacation too! Not just as a way to wean, but because it is SUCH a great experience. (Although, with gas prices going the way they are, it might be cheaper to BUY! a plane to get where ever you’d want to go. LOL)

Hope some of this helped, ~J.

BTW- I've also heard of using lemons to wean a child. I was told to cut a lemon in half and rubover my nipple, so that it would be sour when he tried to latch on. I don't know if it works, but at least it's kinder than dish soap or hot sauce. I didn't try it because my son will GLADLY eat a lemon the same way as oranges and grapefruit.

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E.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I hear that sometimes second children like to really hang on to nursing because it is their special time with you! What worked for me to start the whole weaning process with my daughter (uninterntionally) is that I went out of town with my husband for a night... seems extreme, but it kind of showed her she could drink enough without me.
My friend made it so that they could only nurse in a special place in the house, and that reduced it to only a couple of times a day.

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R.H.

answers from Stockton on

Hi Silva,
I too had tried everything to get my daughter who was 18 months old at the time and I wanted to wear a reg bra again. I used lemons on my breast before I knew she would want to nurse and it took once and she never bothered again. She played with my breasts a lot for a while but she didn't nurse anymore. My Husband really pushed me to nurse her longer but people already looked at me like I was crazy. My daughter never would take to a bottle either. She is almost 5 now so she seems to be happy and healthy. She didn't get sick until I stopped nursing though. Cough & colds, but nothing big.
Good luck!
R.

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E.B.

answers from San Diego on

I am in the same exact boat with my 16 mo. old daughter! I'd love to read others' responses to you.

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V.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,
The same thing happend with my oldest daughter. As a last resort I let her spend the night with my mother for four days. It was really hard for me. It wasnt so bad for her because she also took the sippy cup and loves her grandmother. I would pump, then add a little bit or regular milk. Then I started add less and less of my milk and then add rice cereal instead. I knew that she wouldn't let her self starve. It was really hard to do, but it worked.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I had one child like that - pick one feeding a day to give up - - - not the morning or just before bed - just pick one - - - don't let him have that feeding no matter what for 2 weeks.... by that point he will get used to not having milk at that time - - - give him something else in the sippy cup to drink with a meal during that normal feeding time - don't even bother with the breast milk - try regular milk or apple juice or water....

After two weeks without that feeding - then pick another one - not right next to it... the last one you give up is the before bedtime feeding - - -

this takes a little while, but is less traumatic and the benefit to you is your milk supply decreases gradually so you wont suffer from engorgement....

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A.T.

answers from Reno on

I nursed my boy until he is 2 years old. And right after his birtday, I weaned him. No protests, nothing! The way we go about it was to gradually wean him. About 5 months before his birthday we started cutting some of nursing up until 2 months before his birtday where he was down to one right before bed time nursing and night tiem nursing. The most difficult one to curb was night time nursing. My husband took him to another room for sleeps, and stayed there with him no matter how hard he asked for me. After a month or so, we back to regualr sleep routine, but one wihtout night time nursings. Then one month before his birtday, I started telling him that only very young babies nurse, not the big brothers, and that we'll stop nursing once we celbrate his 2nd birthday. I told this at least every other day thoroughout the month. Then teh night of his birtday i told him we will going the nurse one last time and that is it!
I know this sounds long, but the end reault was very rearding. He asked about it once or twice, but never cried over it or protested it! This worked wonders for us but it requires lots of resources

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I finally had weaned my daughter at 18 months. She use to say "Mi Mi" when she wanted to breastfeed (I don't know where she got that name for it, but it was her nickname). One day after a lot of failed weaning attempts, I just told her "sorry, mi mi is broken". Then she looked up to me and asked "Samantha break mi mi?" Yikes! I didn't think she'd blame herself. I said no, mommy broke mi mi. After that day, she never asked for mi mi again. i know it sounds kind of mean, but it worked. After 18 months, I was ready to have my breasts back.

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