Hello everyone...quite some time ago I posted about my daughter whom I felt was gifted; she was 3 at the time. I got may wonderful responses and I'm very thankful. We didn't have the $ to provide her with private schooling so the district is working with me to get her needs met.
I still believe she's gifted...I have felt this way since she was 18 months old. We have checked the Asperger route and she did not qualify as such, however she has been recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have read extensively about the characteristics of an ADHD and a gifted child and the characteristics are similar in many respects, which is why many gifted children are in fact misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD.
I do however believe the diagnosis of ADHD (as it's in our family), so is giftedness...is accurate. This being said...I am in search of a Psychologist who is well versed in working with a 2e child. I am also labeled as gifted and ADD; you would think that I would know how to provide the best care for my daughter...particularly since by trade I'm a Social Worker, however I feel my own ADD gets in the way more so than anything, and in reality, a parent should never try to "social work" their children.
First and foremost...I apologize but I feel the need to say this...I don't need my child to be gifted let's make this very clear. I get so tired of trying to talk with other parents about her without that look of...yeah ok you're the proverbial Naperville Mom who thinks their kid is gifted, etc.. I have wonderful friends whom I can go to, however their children are all 2 years younger than my daughter and just entering elementary school full time for the first time. My daughter will attend 3rd grade this fall.
I'm feeling desperate to be honest, I have some serious concerns regarding her emotional wellbeing. Though my daughter hasn't been formerly identified as gifted, after only 2 weeks on medication, though she was already high-average in reading and above average in math, her reading score jumped 368 points, and her mathematics jumped 260 points, bringing her to an above average level in both. She truly appears to have a-synchronized development, always has actually, which brings challenges in it's own right without being ADHD. So you would think...well that's great, the medication did the trick...what's there to complain about?
My daughter needs medication, this is obvious...but the side effects are becoming more problematic. Yes I can try other medications, which frightens me frankly...however I'm going to have to; but I need someone who can also provide her, and myself frankly with direction.
My daughter has anxiety and is pulling out her lashes, her hair, I see signs of depression...I'm very frightened and don't want her to struggle the way I have, but she has already started to though it's coming out in her behaviors in a different way. I am unable to be neutral...naturally, so I'm hoping and praying that someone can provide me with a 2e Psychologist who can properly test/diagnose her.
I need advice from parents who have some experience with this type of thing. I need to know that I'm not alone; I know that I'm not actually...but I don't know who I can speak with about this.
She's a wonderful child...she is also a high maintenance child and there are challenges that come along with that.
Is there anyone out there who has some experience with this?
I have taken my daughter off of the Vyvanse...I have no doubt that the side effects were exacerbating her compulsive desire to pull at her hair and eyelashes. She has told me that at night she feels like doing it; however I have never noticed any hair missing till she was on meds.
We tried Ritalin for 3 days; the same result occurred so therefor I believe it's the stimulant that is causing this issue. I am very interested in looking for a natural way to assist her. I have never had her formally tested for giftedness other than at Northwestern University when she was 4. She did come out gifted, though it wasn't a full scale intelligence test. At the time her IQ came out at 145. On medication for 2 weeks last year taking her last test of the year her math and reading scores indicated that she would be eligible for math and reading honors classes now that she is 3rd grade.
She is currently not on meds due to the side effects. I've been perusing the internet for an ADHD specialist. I really don't want to medicate her; but she needs something. She also has a slight facial tic that really comes out when she's taking a stimulant medication. It's not real obvious and it's not disruptive to her otherwise. She does have some auditory sensory issues but she has come a long way with that...I had her tested for that a few years ago and they determined that though there is something there, it isn't clinically significant, which I was grateful for.
I'm still in the process of trying to find something for her. I don't need her to be in honors classes...but I would love for her to have the opportunity to, for fear of being cliché...be all she can be. She sometimes lacks self esteem, she has always been quirky, and so far she has some very good friends which I am eternally grateful for. She does need something though...she really does; it effects how she perceives herself, and how others can sometimes perceive her.
Thank you everyone for your help. It is truly appreciated!
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N.P.
answers from
Chicago
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actually the ADD meds making her scores jump is not evidence that she has that issue
College kids have been known to get that drug illegally purely for the fact that it has the effect you have gotten - a huge jump in scores. It focuses the brain so much that in the short term it makes them get better grades. http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/01/health/drugs-adderall-conce...
Has she taken an IQ test in the last year? If not then contact either the Project Idea or Project Arrow (depending on district) and ask for that test to be done. No matter what ask them for the name of a specialist in dealing with childhood gifted/genius children in mental health.
Mental health is HARD when you are gifted. If you are super advanced compared to your peers they will pick up on that and feel like you are too good for them. It is a skill to learn how to get along for any kid but more so for a superior IQ child.
Also ask the district for the names of other kids in the gifted program, even if you don't qualify, they will help you and guide you. Probably more then any person with a degree would be able to. If she is being bullied at all talk to the principal and they will come up with a plan for the upcoming school year. She can tell you who was the problem and you can make sure that that person is not in her class. With the new school year starting it's a perfect chance for her to find friends. It's amazing how those change due to who is in your class. So have playdates, maybe one per weekend with a different kid each time until all the girls in the class, and maybe boys too, have had a chance to know her one on one. That will help.
Naperville DOES have more high IQ kids. There is a simple reason, smart people have smart kids. Smart people have the jobs immediately around Naperville. So do not feel bad about living in Naperville and having a really smart kid. It's also why Naperville can charge so much for housing, they deserve it.
Good luck. It doesn't matter if your kid is gifted or not, raising them sure is harder then anyone can ever imagine until they have done it. Even with experience in the field.
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K.K.
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I don't have a specific recommendation but can share some resources:
Finally, you might contact the Center for Talent Development at Northwestern. They may also be able to provide some resources or contacts. The website is: http://www.ctd.northwestern.edu/
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C.K.
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There is a child psychologist that I think is wonderful. His name is Dr. Larry Desch and he works out of Advocate Children's Hospital (Christ Hope Hospital) in Oak Lawn. I honestly don't know what a twice exceptional psychologist is, hopefully he can help you. There is a school in Dundee, Illinois called Summit School that schools kids that are gifted and kids that need additional help, wonderful, awesome school! Perhaps they can make a recommendation to you too.
Some of the nervous habits that you are describing for your daughter can also be side effects of the medication. My sister has been through this with her son and really pushes water to keep his system flushed of meciication that would accumulate and has him on a very pure diet, low sugar, lots of vitamins.
Check with your insurance company to see if they will cover your seeing an education specialist for a thorough evaluation, your doctor will probably have to write a prescription but I think it is good to get two opinions, school district based and an independent opinion.
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J.H.
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Chicago
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I don't have experience with the issues of giftedness issues but I do with ADD and depression/anxiety issues. My son had ADD and I didn't want him labeled in the school system or put on medication if at all possible. He used to have out of control rages at 6 and was already having self-esteem issues.
We helped him tremendously with an all natural nutritional supplement and he graduated HS a semester early in the top 20% of his class. No medication, no nasty side effects! Today he is 26 and an amazing Dad himself! He still uses the supplement and gives it his children as well.
Please feel free to message me...our children do not have to struggle!
Updated
I don't have experience with the issues of giftedness issues but I do with ADD and depression/anxiety issues. My son had ADD and I didn't want him labeled in the school system or put on medication if at all possible. He used to have out of control rages at 6 and was already having self-esteem issues.
We helped him tremendously with an all natural nutritional supplement and he graduated HS a semester early in the top 20% of his class. No medication, no nasty side effects! Today he is 26 and an amazing Dad himself! He still uses the supplement and gives it his children as well.
Please feel free to message me...our children do not have to struggle!
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M.A.
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Chicago
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Hi,
I do feel for you. I also have 2 twice exceptional kids (CAPD which can mimic ADD); however, we ended up pulling them out of public school because it was not meeting their needs. My daughter who is my oldest, also began having major anxiety issues in 3rd grade, mostly due to her classroom teacher. Anyway, we found a good psychologist who really clicked with her in Arlington Heights. She keyed in right away on my daughter's giftedness and sensory issues without being told, and really helped her through the anxiety. I know it's kind of far, however. Dr. Kelly Grandt is her name/ I think she's with Comprehensive Psych Services on Arlington Heights Road near Dundee.
SENG is a good group to check out. Also, the book, "Misdiagnosis & Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children: is awesome. As for people discounting giftedness, just ignore them. The parents in my area think giftedness is elitist, but if you have a talented athlete in any sport, they go all out. There is a double standard; athletic talent is to be worshipped; academic talent is snobby or elitist. It definitely frustrates me. I don't know that I would recommend CTD; From my experience, The Center for Gifted is more suitable for 2E kids. It's in Glenview.
I wish you luck. My daughter is high maintenance as well. You will get through this, and so will your daughter. :)
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J.
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We just had my son (going into first grade) tested this summer, and he was identified as higly gifted and 2e. We are just now starting to understand all that it means and how to best parent him, get him ot, and advocate for him at school. We used Dr. Jeffrey O'Koon in Glenview, and I think he did a great job identifying his strengths and weaknesses. Another resource you may want to explore is The Center for the Gifted which is part of Northern Illinois University. I believe they might do testing, and I will be meeting with the director of their program in a couple of weeks after we are back from vacation to discuss what best to do for my son. They have locations throughout the Chicago area.
