Two Year Old with the No No's

One thing that worked with my daughter is that when she wanted something, we would not respond if she just pointed and grunted. We waited until she said the word. If she wanted her cup and pointed and grunted for it, we would say "tell me what you want. I don't understand that. What do you want?" If that did not work, we would point to the object and say "do you want this? What is it? Tell me what it is." If that still didn't work, at first we would say the word "cup" several times, and then give it to her. But after doing that a few times, we would just not give it to her at all. She occasionally pitched a fit, but usually just said the word. It was no time at all before she was talking up a storm.

Hi A.,

I want to start by saying that if he is not talking a lot at home, he is probably not doing it at day care either. Day care centers have a habit of making things sound better then they are (I have worked at a few 4+ star daycares, and quit because of how the children were treated and how much they lied to tha parents, I now watch kids in my home to keep at least a few out of the centers.) Also, he probably hears "no" constantly at the center.

I try to refrain from saying "no" to children. More positive phrases such as, "That's not OK," or "walk away" are more effective for most children. Instead of "no" try telling him what you dont want him doing. For example, say he is climbing on something, try saying, "Lets put our feet on the ground." If he is touching something he shouldnt be touching say, "that's not ok, lets walk away." If he hits say "Lets use our nice touches" and so on. You would be AMAZED at how well this works. I remember once I was at the mall play area with a 1.5yr old I used to watch, he was wanting to climb up the slide so I told him that was no ok, and asked him to walk away. A mom next to me said, "That will never work," and was AMAZED when the child walked away from the slide. If they refuse to walk away say "would you like me to help you walk away?" and then take his hand and do just that, help him walk away. Not only does this prevent children from loving the simple word, "no" but it teaches them more vocabulary.

Something to try for more vocabulary is to also have conversations with him. Tell him what you are doing and why- like when you are changing his diaper say "Im changing your diaper because yours is wet and a new diaper will feel much better." When you are making lunch or dinner tell him what you're doing. When you give him juice say "here is your juice" and so on. So many parents get into the habit of mimiking their children's baby words and that does not help. If he has little names for things, repeat him with the real name for it. If he wants something say to him, "Use your words" and then help him by saying, "you would like something to drink? Say, Juice please." and then give him the juice.

I am currently watching a two year old who does not talk much. He has been here for about a month and is really starting to try to use words. when ever he grunts and points I ask him to use his words. He is really starting to try. When he does use his words I make a really big deal out of it and he is quite proud with himself.

Good luck!

Every child is different. Have no fear, your son will talk when he is ready but the more pressure you place on him to do so the less he is likely to want to. You can create an environment to foster language, which it sounds like you are doing. If you know he has words for something then encourage him to use them by asking him to use the name for it before giving it to him. Also, if he says no no all of the time it's probably because he hears no no from others. Try using other words to express when you don't want him to do something ("Please put that down", "That's not for you"). Boys typically develop language a little later than girls do and yours is still little. Don't worry it'll come. Just be patient and offer many opportunities for him to learn. Often times they store the language and then one day it all just comes tumbling out of them. Good Luck!!

Dear A.,
i had the same problem with my daughter and she is now 2 1/2.all i did was work with her !: i let her watch allot of TV shows that she related with and all of a sudden she started singing with Elmo and counting with Dora i also bought her sesame street videos with allot of singing and alphabets and all her toys are learning toys of some kind she can carry a tune with her Elmo Cd's and tries to sing the words.while she is around we only watch her shows not mine i don't want her to pick up all the bad things from them.once you start this process it gets easier, i did the same thing with my 14 year old and i had him reading before he even started kindergarten.
it takes allot of patience though.
good luck.
S.
proud mom of 2 1/2 year old Ashleigh and 14 year old Robert
You just have to find what he is interested in thats all.

My youngest son is almost 16 months and knows alot but not talking alot. We read the books that have lots of objects and I tell him what is what, car, truck, duck, boat, etc and I will ask him where is the car? and he knows exactly where it is. I hear that boys talk later that girls. I have a 5 yr old also and he was a motormouth so I am sure this one will be motormouth soon too after hearing brother all the time. It will come, he will talk. Oh and also my MIL keeps my kids during the day so I am sure she is talking to him all day long.

My son is doing moms am out and recently started saying 'No' to everything!! I turn to him in a stearn voice and say I dont think you said no I believe it was yesmam or no thankyou. So far have been fairly sucessful. Its an on going thing.

P. H.

I'm the mother of a two year old little girl who loves to use the word no with both me and her daddy whenever possible. Make talking into a game. My daughter was slow to start talking all the time because we would give her what she wanted whenever she pointed at it. So I started repeating the things she said. If we were in the store and she said apple, I would respond by saying apple and then follow it up with a question like What color is the apple ? Is it red ? After a little while she started playing along. She would say apple red. She actually began speaking sentences a little earlier by doing that. I think it's because it makes the child put all the information together using the words and makes them feel like they are big kids talking to mommy and daddy. Try that and see if it helps, all kids are different though so you may have to change the idea so that it works for your son.

I definitely wouldn't force him to talk. My daughter is almost 2 and has just now started saying more words than no. I think she kept quiet because I always said the words for her. The more I tried to get her to repeat a word the less she would try. About 2 months ago, all she would say is no. I'd say cup when I got her a cup, juice when I got her juice etc.. Then one day, 2 months ago she out of nowhere started saying all the words I'd used. It's like she saved all her words up to surprise me with.

My son didn't really take off talking until he was about 2-1/2. I was worried! His sister spoke in volumes by (it seemed) the time she was walking. I bet he'll surprise you, and one day soon, the switch will flip on for him. In the mean time, just keep using "real" words for the things you talk about. The best way to teach kids language is to model it!

I would just not respond to the no's. If he wants something he has to use his words to ask for it. We did this with my sister when she was a baby, she had a habit of pointing and grunting and not using words we knew she knew. At first this will take some help from you like telling him directly "if you want milk, you have to say milk" and if he doesn't he doesn't get any. I also have to agree with the first comment that just talking to your child about everyday things helps a lot. From the time my son was born, I have talked with him, not caring if he understands, just letting him learn language skills. No baby talk. And I'd take that paci away, not only is it going to cause oral and tooth problems, but it's a way to avoid using language and conversation. Good luck!

Hey A.,

I am a single mom of 2 year old twins, a boy and a girl, and my son learned "no" quickly and started using it all the time too. He would say no to things that I knew he meant yes to, so one day I looked at him and told him to look at my mouth and I told him say yes and I pronunciated each letter very clearly and he looked back at me and said it. I was so suprised, at first he would still say no a lot to stuff but everytime I knew he was trying to say yes I would say it again "say yes" and he would repeat after me, then he learned the difference btwn yes and no. So anytime that he wants something or points to something I repeat what it is to him at his level and make sure he is watching my mouth and he picks words up very quickly now and is talking a lot. Also I think what helped to make him talk more was singing, it makes talking fun and they learn the rythm of the song and want to learn the words too because its fun. My son now can almost pronounce all his ABC letters clearly and he loves to sing. So I would encourage you to teach him some songs and make it fun my doing the motions to songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider and If your Happy and You Know it, and also get on his level and ask him to watch our mouth as you pronounce words that he knows what it is but just won't say it. I hope this helps!

Tell him to use his words. When he wants something, make him use the word & don't give in to no-no. I know it's hard. We went through a similar situation, except my son didn't have the words to use. We did a lot of language interventions. Now at almost 4, he speaks in complex sentences.