Tying Shoes

Hi, S.,

Scott & Lori have it right. Kids can teach other kids how to tie shoes quickly and no impatience or frustration. I don't know why it works like that, but it does. Even siblings who don't usually get along great, will be able to teach/learn shoe tying.

I have 9 adult children and 27 grandchildren and almost all of them learned to tie their shoes from siblings or cousins!

Good luck.

C.

Hi S.,

I agree with the other two responses. It's not that big of a deal to not be able to tie your shoes at age 6. Sometimes these little guys don't quite have the fine motor skills yet to handle the shoelaces. My girls kept asking me to show them, but their fingers wouldn't do what needed to be done. It was very frustrating because they really wanted to learn. That's when my oldest (at that time she was 6) learned a trick from someone at school. Instead of making 1 loop and wrapping the other lace around it and poking through the lace, she showed me that once she made the first cross-over and tightened the laces, she could then make 2 loops--1 from each lace the same size and distance from the end of the laces--and cross them over again and boom! Her laces were tied! She did it again, and they were double-tied to prevent them from coming undone. My husband and I were like huh? It really worked every time, and she didn't have to worry about "wrapping the bunny around the tree stump and putting him in his house." Anyway, I know it's difficult to visualize it, but there is a movie with Harrison Ford called Regarding Henry where after he sustains a brain injury from a gunshot wound, his daughter teaches him to tie his shoes again. It's the same technique if you ever want to watch it. (It's a pretty good movie, too.)

Good luck to you.

J.

S., I haven't seen them in a while but I know they used to make laces that were color coded to help them to learn how to tie and also a step by step written directions. If all else fails even having shoe laces two different colors can help. I would just be very positive and use lots of encouragement, remind him that everyone started where he was at one point, it can be frustrating, why not try and make it fun? Set a timer and see how many times he can tie his shoes in that time period and chart it so he can see he is improving, have a fun treat after these sessions, maybe say you will go on a walk and if he gets his shoes tied or a trip to the park ( kids shoes do come untied a lot especially in the beginning) so will give him oppertunities to tie his shoes while you are out. Don't get impatient with him...BTW I have an 8 year old that can barely tie, she still has a pair of the tennis shoes that velcro = )
Lots of luck
B.

I can relate to your situation. My son (the middle of my 3 kids) would get easily frustrated when I would try to help him learn how to tie his shoes. This was not planned or prearranged on my part, but one day my daughter who is 2 years older than him asked him if she could help him. She taught him to tie his shoes in probably 5 minutes. I think he didn't want to show his frustration in front of her and was more willing to try and pay attention.
So if you have a relative or friend's child who is just a bit older than your son, you might ask if he or she would be willing to give it try with your son and his shoes! It just might work!

Try telling him a story while you are having him tie it. I told all my kids about a happy little bunny that ran under a bush (this part while you are putting one string under the other for the initial part of the tie) and he poked his little ear in the air to check for danger (this part as you form the first loop { the loop representing the bunny's ear} ) and when he heard a fox coming he ducked into his hole (push the loop down to the shoe. The fox ran around the hole (bring the second string around the loop) and when he didn't find the bunny he went away. When all was clear, the bunny popped his little ear out of the hole to see if all was clear (pull the other loop through). When he was convinced all was clear, he came out of his hole to play again ! (Pull both loops tight.)
You can make up your own story, but telling a story about what you are doing always worked with my kids.
(By the way, don't give me credit for this .... it is how my MOM taught me and my 6 brothers and sisters.)
:-]

I was the same way, my mom bought me slip on keds. Now, I do know (and I learned sometime in gradeschool, more for bows than for shoes), but I still prefer slip ons!

K.

My son had a lot of trouble tying his shoes at first too. He could get the first cross but once he got to the loops it just got too confusing for him. Then he learned the two loops and cross and he's been tying his shoes ever since. I don't know how it works but it does.

Let him be...he'll be fine. My girls didn't learn until they were almost 10. One ties really good now and the other still doesn't tie fast or tight but they get tied. He'll get it...just don't pressure him. Good luck and God Bless.

Dear Saraj.
Karen is so right on target! It will come in time. Let him choose a pair of velcro shoes that he likes and let him wear them. You can always practice on his dress shoes whenever he is in the mood. It will happen! My eldest could tie when he was 4 1/2 years old, the twins were at least six (or maybe seven - I cannot remember), and my youngest who will be six in December is still working on it. Be patient and encourage him to be patient too. It is a challenging task for little fingers to learn to do.
Have a great day!

Try breaking it down for him and teaching him a step at a time. If he can get the tie but gets frustrated with the loops then have him do the tie and one loop and you do the rest. As he figures out the loop then add the next step and continue finishing it for him. If you don't want to take the time to do this then listen to the others and know that he will eventually get it. Sometimes they just have to have the right motivation to follow through. Hang in there!

Good morning, don't worry, try a song. My kids had a rough time to. I have no idea how anyone else does it, but we made a song up. I did the bunny song, he crosses over a mountain, and now he holds balloons, he needs to wrap around the mountain, and tuck here we go loopy loo, now tug so snug, and give me a hug! Silly I realise, but it worked for us. You can modify as you please. Or just go with slip ins or straps. LOL! Good luck, this is one of those small things in life. Don't sweat the small stuff, he will learn in good time. R..

Good Morning again S.. Get him some strap on velcro shoes. It's not a big deal not to be able to tie his shoes. Our oldest Gr son just learned last year, he will be 9 this month. Their little fingers sometimes aren't able to grasp and pull the laces, they get all the pieces in place and once they start to push one loop (bunny ears) through the other it gets out of whack....lol
Makes it easier on them and teachers if they have either slip on shoes or Velcro they can put on and fasten themselves.

Tying his shoes will come eventually, just doesn't necessarily have to be Now.

God Bless and chin up Mama you & he will make it just fine

K. Nana of 5

Velcro is nice, but like any other task a child will lear at their own pace... Maybe have grandma and granpa help him learn, or a friend that has a good relationship... Sometimes they just see us getting frustrated and a new face will help learn the task. Yeah, it is frustrating, but at least he is learning and remember he needs to learn to respect the elders in his life, not only his parents, so by him seeing someone else take time to teach him, he is learning a lot more than tying his shoes.