Up Every 2 Hours at Night – Desperate for Some Ideas

Updated on August 03, 2010
T.O. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

My 10 week old who can make 4 hour+ stretches during the day is up every 2 hours at night. She is 15 pounds and even the pediatrician said that doesn’t need to eat that frequently (frankly I think she should be able to make it the full night by now).
I’m not sure what options I have to get her to soothe herself back to sleep on her own. She refuses the pacifier (tried 5 or 6 kinds) and trying it just makes her angry and wakes her up even more (and only results in more screaming at 2am which wakes up everyone else in the house). She also refuses the bottle so that idea is out (tried 5 different kinds, different flows, etc.)
I’ve tried the mobile, the vibration thing from the pack n play (which works during nap time during the day).
I’m at my wit ends. I can’t keep up this pace of sleeping 30 minutes to an hour every two hours.

Update - thanks for the belly idea but she hates that too. Oh and we already have her in the woombie which keeps her from startling, but her sleep pattern still wakes her up every 2 hours at night.

Update #2 - So I'm not asking for her to do something she's not capable of doing yet. She is clearly capable of going 4-6 hour stretches during the day. She even wakes up in the middle of a nap and is able to get herself back to sleep without me intervening. It's the night which is an issue where for some unknown reason, she's waking up every 2 hours. Before anyone says it, no, she no longer has day-night confusion. I can tell the difference and know that she has transitioned out of this phase. And yes, I have tried waking her up early from naps to see if that would make a difference and no dice.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Someone sent me a private note suggesting that we try Probiotics. She didn’t want to post here because she didn’t want to have to deal with all the nasty comments that were flying around. We spoke with the Pediatrician who told us to give it a shot. Since we’ve started, we’ve begun to see stretches more like 3-4 hours and got a 5.5 hour stretch last night.
This is my second child so, although I think it’s a fools errand to ever say one is a parenting expert, I’m not a beginner either. It was clear to me that there was something wrong and I knew she wasn’t waking because she was hungry because I would nurse for 10-15 seconds tops and she would be out cold (and yes I tried undressing her, tickling her feet, blowing on her, stroking her cheeks – the whole 9 yards). If you really read my post, I wasn’t suggesting that I sleep train her or starve her, I was trying to figure out why she was having issues with normal stretches of sleep at night and trying to help with whatever was bothering her (of course with the added benefit of me getting more sleep).
So thank you to everyone that provided suggestions or even words of encouragement. For those that chose to get negative, and in some cases, downright nasty – I can only hope that you are teaching your children more kindness than you practice. The old adage, “If you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all”, comes to mind.

More Answers

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I know it's hard, but know that it will get better eventually. You can pull your hair out now trying to figure out a way to get her to sleep better (which she probably won't right now, as it sounds like you've already tried a lot), or you can accept that this is how it will be for a little while and try not to waste the precious energy that you do have trying to figure out a way out of this. My daughter was 10 pounds at birth and other big babies I heard of were sleeping through the night really early on. Mine didn't do it until 10 months old. For whatever reason they're on their own schedule and the best thing we can do as parents, at least for the first year or so, is to switch ourselves over to their schedules.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I never understood this, but I often wonder why parents want their babies to "sleep thru the night" - 8-12 hours on an empty stomach when they are not getting but water and milk. If it is breastfeeding, the milk curdles in the tummy and become solid, but after couple hours they are hungry again. My son didn't start "sleeping thru the night" until he was able to eat solid foods that last longer. It is a bit exhausting, but they need the nourishment since they don't know night vs day at this age. It will get better over time!

2 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Okay, some mamas here may not like what I've got to say, but this is strictly my opinion! Sleeping "through the night" is technically defined as a minimum of 5 hours straight. No 10 week old is going to sleep 8-12 hours straight through. They are still growing rapidly and need nourishment to sustain them every few hours. When my DD was about that old, we did have the same "problem." She slept in a bassinet in our bedroom and was up very often. I would nurse her in bed and almost fall asleep on many occasions doing so! Finally, I started researching co-sleeping, and decided that I wanted to try it. Holy cow, was it a sanity-saver! I put her in bed with me at night and when she woke, she could simply turn towards me and we would nurse and then she would go right back to sleep. Babies' sleep cycles are very "up and down." They go into deep sleep for short spurts and then enter light sleep and then wake, and back around again. It also cut down on DD crying, because she could feel my presence right beside her, and sometimes that alone would comfort her enough that she fell back to sleep.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

your doctor may think she doesnt NEED to wake to eat every 2 hours nutritionally but that doesnt mean that she doesnt need it emotionally. this is when i started to cosleep woth my daughter. some children are high needs babies. Go to Dr. Sears website he has a whole area on high needs babies and infant sleep in general. also it takes 2 hours to digest breastmilk...remember your doctor sadly receives little training in breastfeeding. this stage will pass dont worry. babies are not meant to sleep through the night for their own safety. good luck

Updated

your doctor may think she doesnt NEED to wake to eat every 2 hours nutritionally but that doesnt mean that she doesnt need it emotionally. this is when i started to cosleep woth my daughter. some children are high needs babies. Go to Dr. Sears website he has a whole area on high needs babies and infant sleep in general. also it takes 2 hours to digest breastmilk...remember your doctor sadly receives little training in breastfeeding. this stage will pass dont worry. babies are not meant to sleep through the night for their own safety. good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

I am so shocked by Stacy's (the last person) answer. I thought that this was supposed to be a supportive website.
I don't have too much feedback other than the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" really worked for me. There is a video too. It may really take time to figure out what soothes her. It looks like you were given a lot of good suggestions. If it just gets to be too much for you at night, you can call the The Fussy Baby Network through the Erikson Institute in Chicago. They are all professionals and may be able to give you some good ideas. Good luck & remember that this will pass & you will be sleeping again.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi T.O.,
That must be extremely frustrating for you to see her go so long during the day, but not at night. Is she sleeping in a bassinet in your room? We found out, when he was two months - ten weeks old that my son was a very light sleeper and would wake up when we would turn, snore, etc. We put him in his crib in his room with a sound machine and a fan (for white noise) and he slept more soundly, and for longer stretches at a time. My son is still a very light sleeper at 18 months and sometimes wakes up when we go in his room at night. I don't know if this is your problem, or not, but you might try it if you haven't yet.
Also, it sounds like though she might not have day night confusion, her tummy might be confused. You might already be doing this, but maybe try nursing her a few extra times per day. Anyway, sorry, it is so hard with a newborn and I feel for your sleep deprivation. Remember, each day you get through is something to celebrate. Good luck and take care!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

the way I was able to get both of my daughters to sleep thru the night at 6 weeks was by feeding them every 3-4 hours during the day. I never let it go more than 4. I would even wake them up from a nap if I had to. With my first, I would make her last feeding between 9-10pm and she would sleep until 7am. That last feeding was never more than an ounce or two. With my second, sometimes my last feeding was as early as 7:30-8am and she would sleep until morning. You really have to feed every 3-4 hours though and sometimes that's a pain when you are trying to get things done. Some days it will feel like all you do is feed her, but you will get a good night sleep. It really sounds like you need a good night sleep. I would like to promise you if you try this it will work, but it sounds like you don't need promises right now. :) Please try it today and hopefully we will all hear from you tomorrow saying that she slept all night!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Every baby is different. My daughter slept through the night 12 hrs straight at 8 weeks. My son is 13 months and I'm still getting up once (sometimes twice) in the middle of the night. At 10 weeks, she is still very little - she could be going through a growth spurt (I know there's a big one between 10-12 wks) or just isn't emotionally ready to sleep through the night. She's still too little for crying it out so just weather this storm. Hopefully once she's done with her spurt, she'll go back to her old sleeping patterns. I know my son was a barracuda at this age and still nursing every 2 hrs around the clock. Co-sleeping was the only way I got sleep! At 4 mos., he slept in the pack n play by our bed and by 6 mos. (once he was giving me 4-5 hr stretches), he was back in his own room in his crib. Don't worry, this won't last! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I just went through this with my second daughter -- it is sooo hard to function on no sleep! Unfortunately I don't think there's much you can do except wait for her to grow out of it. My baby is now 7.5 months and is finally a good sleeper. My older daughter slept 12+ hours a night at 12 weeks -- I thought all babies did that! Nope! I found the only way I could survive with my second was to sleep with her in my bed so I could just roll over and feed her half asleep. I never thought I would be a co-sleeper but you do what you have to do. Good luck. Just try to be consistent with naps, bedtimes, etc. It will get better.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from New York on

Is your baby looking for food at night? By 10 weeks they "can" sleep through the night. I've heard other moms say try giving formula (or breast milk) diluted with water, and dilute it a little more each time. Eventually they won't wake up for just water.

The belly sleeping idea isn't horrible either. It's the only way my colicky baby would sleep at 12 weeks.

If the issue isn't food, and the doctor has cleared the baby of any ear infections or anything medical, sometimes it's best to let them cry it out. You can go in and comfort with words, but not pick them up. Or pick them up but don't hold them for too long. It may sound horrible to some, but I had to so it and I cried each time, but eventually my son learned to fall asleep on his own and put himself back to sleep.

All babies are different though. Some end up not sleeping through the night until 12 months old. Have you read any of the "What to Expect" books? I found them very helpful as a new mom.

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

two of my kids were belly sleepers my 12 week old has been sleeping 8+ hours at night since she was 5 weeks old. She feeds like crazy during the day...lol and then enjoys her sleep at night

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I very strongly suggest reading Dr. Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child." Because every baby's sleep is different and this book is excellent at giving advice when you're not blessed with a natural sleeper. My son, my 1st baby, slept 7-8 hours a night starting at 12 weeks. He's been the most solid sleeper I know since then, and he's almost 4. My daughter on the other hand, not so much. She didn't sleep through the night, and when I say through the night, I mean 5-6 hours at a time, until she was 8 months old. Not to scare you or anything, but you're a new mom. New moms aren't supposed to get a lot of sleep!

Anyway lots of people suggested to me that I read that book and for a long time I shrugged it off...after all, I already had 1 baby, and didn't need it with him - why would I need it now? But finally I gave in and read it and it offered SO MANY suggestions and bits of information that I didn't know (and didn't really need to know with my 1st one). Because of that book, we now have a 14 month-old who sleeps from 7 PM to 5 AM every night. Good luck - I know all too well how hard life without sleep can be.

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 11 weeks old and he also refuses the paci and most other forms of comfort. He sleeps in his swing! I know that's a bad habit, but my pedi said it's OK to do that until about 4 months. So... try putting her swing in her own room and move her to that when she wakes. And if you've done what you can do to comfort her (and she's not hungry, wet, etc...) just let her fuss for awhile. She'll probably go back to sleep. Oh, and you might want to wake her up during the day if she's gone 4 hours between feedings. My son gets his last feeding about 11:00 and sleeps until about 6 (on good nights...sometimes he's up at 5). One more idea for comfort (that's more effort than just turning on a swing)...an exercise ball. We used that a lot when my son was first born. Turn her on her side and bounce (gently) with her. My son liked that better than the rocker. For true self soothing, though, I believe she is a little young. I think closer to 4 months old is when you can expect them to do that. My daughter took a paci and I didn't know how good we had it until my son came along and refused!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Are you kidding me? Your baby is 10 weeks?! You are awful if you are looking for someone to tell you it's okay to let your baby cry it out or some other sort of sleep training method. Feed your baby and stop being selfish! I am all for sleep training, and I get that you are tired, but she is a newborn!

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

I second Abby's suggestion...that book was also recommended to me altho I haven't read it yet. Here's the email that she sent me which gives a brief overview:
He recommends you begin training your baby to sleep well at 12 weeks old. In short, at this age, you should not let your baby be up more than 2 hours at a time. For example, if you daughter wakes up at 5am, she needs to be back in her crib by 6:30am so she can fall back to sleep by 7 (the two hour maximum window).

If she then sleeps for 4 hours and wakes at 11am, she should be back down to sleep again by 1pm. It’s pretty simple, but doesn’t allow you to get out of the house much or have much of a life when you only have a 1 ½ hour window to run errands.

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