I've been asked by a lot of people for an update, and I'm not sure how long this will stay posted but here it is.
First, I want to thank everyone for their supportive and encouraging words. I definitely needed to hear that I was not the only one and it was so reassuring. You mamas are all amazing women, especially when someone really needs it :)
Secondly, you all were not the only ones to suggest post-partum. My mom and godmom both said it when they heard how I was talking about him. They said that it seemed to be more then just stress. I went to the OB and she agreed and placed me on medications and provided me with information for a support group.
My godmom came in town for the weekend, as she was on spring break from work, to help me. She had an incredibly fussy baby for her first child and was entirely sympathetic. She has been like the amazing baby whisperer. She instantly took him when she got to St. Louis, and sent me out with the orders to do anything and everything for myself and to not worry about the baby. I went out with one of my girlfriends, went on a date with my boyfriend, etc. It was so restful. When I got home last night, he slept for 5 straight hours and then 4 straight hours, providing me with lots of sleep. I even woke up before him this morning. When he woke up this morning, he was cooing and smiling. He is able to put himself to sleep in his swing now when he's sleepy and has barely cried. He started cutting back on the crying yesterday. She said that she thinks that he really probably felt a lot of my stress and anxiety that it was hard for him to relax. She also is helping me to read him a little better and his needs, cause she just seems to be the amazing baby whisperer. She also has made me feel better, as well as the rest of you did, that if he is crying and I am overwhelmed, that it is okay to let him cry for a little as long as all of his needs are met at the time. She said sometimes you just need a break. Then she said I can go get him once I'm relaxed enough so that he'll feel relaxed when I'm caring for him.
So mom and baby are doing much better and hopefully it will keep continuing. I was to bond with him, but it is really hard. Hopefully, I'll start to get it more though. But, I found myself actually enjoying him for the first time this morning so that it is a positive.
Thank you all again! You are simply amazing women and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I hadn't gotten all the encouraging words of support from you all. I am hoping to join a mom's group in the St. Louis area to help provide me with similar support and interaction, so if any of you know of any, let me know! Thank you so much again.
@ Grandma T - I have done that just in case it does get pulled. I just wanted to do this because I don't know when people update their own responses to me if they want to say anything about the update, and if moms are anything like me, they don't always go back to their past questions and check for updates lol
:)
Now that you are more relaxed (thanks to meds, support, and some mommy time) baby might just be a little less fussy. They can sense the stress and tension. Glad things are getting better!
Most hospitals with birthing centers have new mom's groups and counselors who should be able to point you to Post Partum Depression groups. I am so glad you got support in various forms. Someone once told me that you learn the most about yourself in stressful times, so chalk this up to a major learning experience that will make you better able to handle anything that comes at you in the future. The most important thing that you did naturally that lots of people are afraid to do, or just do not know how, is that you reached out for help. Knowing when to ask for help and then to accept that help is a HUGE positive trait you should pat yourself on the back for. I think in tough times the inner voice starts talking about everything one does wrong, but just like you have to praise kids for doing things right in order for them to learn, make sure you talk to yourself about all the things you do wonderfully well. Attracting the love of the "baby whisperer" is another wonderful trait you do well. People always think that the things they do well are "easy, everyone can do that", but make sure to keep track not of your faults but of your strengths. You sound like an awesome woman. Consider yourself hugged.
paste this update to your "original" post in the actual update spot, more of the moms that answered you will see it that way. This will probably get pulled.
Yay! I'm so happy for you!!! Keep up being such an amazing mom!!! If i was in St. Louis I'd hang out with ya!
I am so happy that things are a bit better. I just wanted to say again, and now knowing how he has calmed down, if he starts getting continually fussy again, look at your emotions and what is going on around you. I have found this personallity trait of feeding off the emotions around them does not go away. Yes, they are able to control it better than screaming for hours on end, but they still act out. Its just what they do....they are not trying to make it harder for you.
My mom recently passed away and my 2 year old was an absolute terror for the few weeks of service planning and the services. I knew there was not much I could do about it, because her (and my) world were in chaos but it was so much easier to tollerate knowing that is how she reacts to those emotions.
Moms groups are great! I am so glad you are getting help! Don't forget the fussy baby book by dr sears. Its a lifesaver.
AWESOME! Your god mom is so sweet to help you. Make sure the last couple days (if she hasn't left) that you have her show you exactly what she's doing, she may know little tricks and tid bits that us first time moms probably don't know. I think he was feeling your stress. Hopefully yall can get everything balanced and bond more (sometimes it does take a while). When I was with my ex I loved my daughter a TON but I wasn't as attached to her but when I wasn't with him I bonded with her (I guess he added unwanted stress and expectations) and now I am an overprotective momma bear lol. Do mommy and me classes, video workouts, whatever you can do to bond. I'm so glad you got help :o) You have to work hard to balance and bond because when he's 2 your going to rip out your hair haha better to be stable now so you don't lose your mind when he's older lmao.
I found this:
http://moms.meetup.com/cities/us/mo/saint_louis/
I didn't exactly check all of them but it seems like there's a few.
Your godmom is a godsend. I think she may well be right about the baby feeling all your tension and anxiety, and you've made your first baby steps to get past that. Thanks for the update.
Wishing your family well!
I can't see the other replies here, I'm using my phone, but just in case nobody had suggested it, come join stlouismommies.com. Wonderful ladies there!
glad to hear your destressed and happy again enjoy your baby
