UPDATED: Good Job Vs. Having Babies situation..what Would You Do?

Congratulations! My advice is not to deal with the hypothetical. Take the job now and see how it goes. WHEN you have a baby, rethink it.

I would take the job. You don't know how long it will take to get pregnant, I wouldn't tell them until 16 weeks or so if possible, just don't pass up an opportunity to work there, make some contacts etc.

This is a tough one. If you were already pregnant, I'd say pass on the job offer. If you've always been certain you would want to be a SAHM, you most likely will enjoy staying home once your child is born and not want to go back. However - you're not pregnant. Yet. And you don't know how long it will take. My final answer? If you are indeed pregnant this month, and they offer you the job, I would pass. If you aren't, I would take the job - but then stay until you have your baby. Even if you got pregnant fairly soon after starting, nine months is a decent amount of time to work before resigning. But I do think that only working a new job for 2, 3 or 4 months and then leaving, looks bad.
Good luck!

Added: There is nothing wrong with being a home and family oriented woman, even in this day and age. Not every family *must* have two incomes. I think it's lovely that you are in a position to have the choice. If staying home is what you want to do, take advantage of the opportunity! There are many who would love to do so.

Well, right now you are not aware if you are pregnant, right? So, for now, proceed like you're not. If you are going to work this is a good job for you, right? So accept it. If you are able to live on just your husband's salary then do so and bank you income (or invest it so it grows). Then when you do get pregnant, you can decide if you want to stay home or go back to work (there are pros and cons to both) and you will have some money to help w/ the extra expenses.

I am currently unemployed. We need the income but I would love to stay home (which I am right now while looking). Ideally I would love to be off through the summer w/ my girl but I can't turn down a good job in this economy unless I could afford to stay home all together (especially since turning down an offer would stop my unemployment). So I am selective in those I apply for so if I am offered a job, I will be ok accepting.

I see this both as an employer and also as a mom. As an employer - please don't take the job if you know FOR SURE that you absolutely want to be a stay at home mom when your child is born. Yes, you could go and work at this job for 8 months and then leave. But it won't look good on your resume, in my opinion. And so it may hurt you if you decide to go back to work later, when your child is a few years older.

On the other hand, if your not sure, and if you think you'd really like this job and maybe have a job outside the home in addition to being a mom, then go for it and make it work. I know that I love my kids more than anything. But I also know that I don't have the personality to be a great stay at home mom. And I like my job. So we are all happier with me as a working mom.

If you get the job, I'd say take it. But when the time comes and if you are pregnant then after you have the baby, being a stay at home mom at least for a while is a good idea. I stayed at home for 3 months and leaving that baby was the hardest thing ever. A job is definitely fulfilling and good for you but when you have a child it all changes. If I could have been a stay at home mom, I would. Im sure there will be times you will get a little stressed out and then thats when you need a night out with the hubby.

Personally, knowing that even young, healthy people sometimes have trouble (more than a year you should talk to your OB), I would keep trying. Babies come when babies come. If you get the job, then you deal with the situation then. If you don't you deal with that. My sister started school for a new degree and finally got pregnant. So she is juggling work, school and an infant. He could have had better timing, but it is what it is. IMO, if you want a family, then take the steps for a family and fold the rest of it as it comes.

I am answering based on the assumption that you would work until delivery before quitting to be a SAHM. Why not take it if offerred if you think it is a great fit? Even if you are pregnant now..looks like you can work the great job for about 8 months :-) I guess only thing that would hold me back is if your current job covers your insurance. I would be cautious of switching providers during pregnancy..just make sure you are covered.

Congrats on the job! I'll be honest..I'm biased! There are only 2 reasons to work..you WANT to or you HAVE to. For me, right now, I don't want to or have to. I am very educated and gave up my career to stay home. I love it. I love being there for everything. In my opinion, there will always be another job..But, I know not everyone feels this way. Do what is best for you and your (future) family.

Oh, this is an exciting time for you with the possibility of starting a family! After having kids and now seeing them as adults, I may have a different perspective. Once you have children, your attitude toward work will change (at least I hope so). You see these little, dependent people and realize that nothing is more important than them. No job will matter, no career will be more important, and you will realize that there is no higher calling than being a mom. Your career will always be there, but you only have one shot at raising your children. I look at my life at this point and marvel at what I was able to do as a mom, not what I wasn't able to do in my career.

That is so great that your husband wants you to be a SAHM. There are some who, even with a high paying job, can't live without a second income. Kids are expensive and there are sacrifices that have to be made. If he already has that mindset, then when the finances get tight, he will not start looking for you to go back to work; you two will start to adjust your spending habits and make it work.

Work while you can, but if you are planning on having a baby, don't put any extra value into any job now - your job is just for income. Work until you can have a baby. It is a good time to start putting all of your income into savings so you can start to live on one income. Then once you see that you can live on one income, then start putting some of his income into savings. It is a habit that is not stressed these days. In every budget, there must be some money that regularly goes into savings. Something always comes up. Most people spend what they make, then when emergencies come up, they get into trouble because they are used to living a certain lifestyle and can't find the money for the emergencies.

So many young couple don't keep adding to their savings once kids come. They continue to look at a bigger house, a better or new car, etc. and all the extra money goes into having more things. Then when a big expense arises, the money has to come out of the regular budget. You are so blessed right now that you can start making a good financial plan before you start a family!

Take the job if it comes. Work it for the 9 months if you are pregnant and then you will know if you wanna stay by your relationship with the job, coworkers and boss.

I love working, it fulfills me and makes me a better mom, if you are so lucky to get your dream job (rare these days, or ever!), why would you lose this opportunity? You may find out (as i did) that your maternity leave is enough time to plan for going-back to work afterwards and that both you and the baby WILL be fine. I don't see why give up anything good comes your way, we women are natural born multi-tasker and if you decide you want to quit you cn always do it later. It's a win-win situation, just take that job!

I switched jobs during the same time that I was trying to get pregnant. There was no way for me to know when or if I'd get pregnant and I really didn't like the situation at my old job. Plus the new job had better benefits. I discovered I was pregnant about 1 month after starting the new job, although I waited until I was through the first trimester before telling any coworkers or my boss.

But I decided to come back to work after my maternity leave.

If the offer comes in and you are not pregnant, then why not take it since you don't know when you will get pregnant?

If an offer comes in and you are already pregnant and you know with absolute certainty that you won't be coming back after delivery, then it's tougher. If you take the job knowing you won't be staying long, it's not really fair to the employers. Even though people can quit a job anytime they want, I personally wouldn't take a job if I secretly knew that I'd be leaving for good in a few months..well, unless I desperately needed the money.

If I knew I was pregnant and I honestly didn't know for sure whether I'd be coming back after my maternity leave, then I'd probably take the job.

But if I knew this was just a temporary position at best, I'd probably pass on it unless I absolutely needed the money. I actually had someone from my previous job call and try to get me to come back at a higher level position, but by then I knew that within 6 months I'd be going on leave for a few months and that amount of time off would be difficult for them schedule-wise so I passed on the job.

You could take the job and see what happens. Your boss does not need to know right away that you intend to have a baby. And it could take a while to get pregnant (up to a year is normal). If you love your new job and they love you maybe you could return PT after you have the baby. I worked for 12+ years for the same local company. But unfortunately I could only manage a short maternity leave, a couple months, Before I was asked to return. That was the sticking point for me. The maternity leave offered in the US is generally short. I was not prepared to leave my infant in daycare. I loved my job and all of my good friends are from that experience. Now fast forward 5 years.... My D starts K in the fall. I will begin to work a few days a week. But I've been there every step of the way. There have been times when I've thought, "this is boring... or what a thankless job"... But I will always have this time with my daughter to look back on when she is older. I will never regret taking a few years off from work. But I think if you can manage PT, It's the best of both worlds. Good Luck.

Well, I took a job that was great for my career, and high paying and loved it very much for 3years - until I had my son. I was very fortunate in that I was able to take a 6 month maternity leave at 1/2 pay - and keep all of my benefits. In return, I had to return for at least 12 months after or pay back my pay + the cost of my benefits. I found it very hard to go back and worked out a situation where I worked 4 long days and stayed home 3. When I got close to my 12 months being done, I started looking for more flexiblity. Now I work a great job, with no required travel, 3 days a week. The pay is much, much less but I would be a horrible SAHM. I would get bored and be resentful! My children have a better mom because I do work part-time. My older is now in elementary and my baby is in a very good daycare. It is the best thing for us.

If you don't know if you are pregnant - then if you are offered the job and don't know if you are pregnant - assume you are not. You might decide you love the job and decide to stay. I don't think anyone knows if they want to stay at home until they try it...

Good luck! C.

I think you should work until you have the baby, if and when you have a baby! Just my opinion, but you sound like something of a go-getter, and I think you'd be bored silly sitting home with nothing to do. Once you have kids, by all means, quit if you want to. Even if your income isn't necessary right now, why not put it away into savings? You'll be surprised how expensive raising kids can be, and having a good savings account is always helpful! Best of luck to you.

If you aren't pregnant go with the new job. The family medical leave law you need to be at a job 12 months to get the leave. It might be worth using birth control 3 months if you want to go back to work. I have been a SAHM for 6 years. It is really hard to get out of that rut and back to work. If you can take a maternity leave and find something part time you might be better off when you decide to go back to work later. I wish I had done that. I though I would like being a SAHM and be better at it (I worked with kids for years before having my own and it isn't the same). But it isn't fulfilling for everyone so don't feel bad if it isn't for you. Honestly I would say in an ideal world you want a part time job that is flexible and not too intense for when your kids are small.

I quit a good job to stay home.. no regrets.. I would do it again in a heartbeat.. you have your entire life to work.. but your kids are only small and really really need you for a few years.

If I could only pick one.. I would have kids.. a job is a job is a job. my kids are getting to be school age.. and I will consider working more.. but I do not want to put the kids in day care before and after school and all summer... that doesnt sound like a fun life..

Second exactly what A B said! Take it if you're not pregnant this month, and stay at your current job/situation if you are.

Well, you have several options here, but based on if all of your "what ifs" come true, you can take the job and have the baby and still work. You can take the job and if you're not pregnant -wait a year and try more and then keep working or you can take the job for a few years, wait to get pregnant, see if you get pregnant and then quit and stay home. You don't know yet if being a SAHM will really be your cup of tea! Trust me, I thought I would love it, and I did it for 4 years, but I wish I had gone back to work sooner. We ALL function better when I work full time! I would encourage you to go ahead and take the job if it's offered to you -especially since you don't know if you're pregnant. THEN, you can decide more if you are -or you can decide to wait, etc. Understand that there will never be a perfect time to have a baby -although there are times that are much better than others!

I love the advice of taking the opportunities as they come. If you are offered the job and you want it - go for it.
If you find later that you also are pregnant, all the better. If this is your fortunate path (both baby and job) I would not quit when you go on maternity leave. Take your full FMLA, but you might find that being a SAHM is not what you expected (nothing ever is - LOL) and you will then have a great out of the house job to go back to.
I have always been a mom who worked out of the home and now that my kiddos are on the verge of school age, I am soo glad I stayed in my profession.
I worked really, really hard for my education and in my career, I also work really, really hard balancing it all, but I love the perspective and wonderful people that are in our lives as a result of child care (that as a SAHM, not sure I would have met). Anyways. i just wanted to toss in my personal perspective to consider as you are sorting through the information:)

I had something very similar happen to me. I called and turned the job down. I ended up having a miscarriage, but I got pregnant immediately and have had two successful births since.

I think you should take the job whether you are pregnant or not. If it fits you, why not wear it. You could take your money and use that for backup savings just in case anything should happen.

If you are pregnant now you still have months and months that you could be working and earning for your family. Just because hubby has a good paying job today does not in any way mean that tomorrow he will still have a job or be employable, jobs are very scarce that would allow for a family to only have one income.

Hi, L.:

You want a baby for your husband's sake and SAH for his wishes? You say that there are mostly men in your life so you needed some perspectives from us?

My perspective is: Having babies in this day and age is not like it was 70 years ago. It takes two incomes to take care of all the financial obligations there are today. The attitudes of many young people are one of entitlement. There is no time for relationships with family.

I think holding off on pregnancy until you are around 30 years of age. Get your career and involve yourself with your family and the community.
Good luck.
D.

If you would love the job, take it. Who knows, it could take a while to get pregnant. Or you could decide you LOVE the job and don't want to be a SAHM. Do you want to be a SAHM or does your husband?