Using the Potty Without Mommy

I sorda disagree with Deb...sorry Deb :).

Most kids that age still need assistance in the bathroom, and do for about a year, it is a learning process. Offer to wipe her when she is done if she will sit herself down, offer any form of compromise so she knows that she is still important. I understand wanting them to get it done on their own. I have 7 and when their is a new baby we almost feel a rush to "make it happen", but at 2 she is still a toddler, and potty training still has up's and downs, they can do great for months and relapse, it also shouldn't be a battle. Think about it wouldn't it of just been easier to compromise with her, then stand there and "force" the issue, life is about compromises, so it is also teaching her another little life lesson.

But when an accident happens she should help to clean it. Hope it gets better soon.

W.,
I agree with Jennifer O. I think that compromising is a wonderful tool. between two and three is still quite young to get all the hygiene of potty training down pat. My second was (still is) very much a "I can't do it" girl. So what I do often is say, " you do this much then I will do this much" it helps her with her autonomy and encourages her to try a little more each time. I would start with, she tells you when she needs to go you help her get on, she practices wiping you wipe her and pull her off and she tries to pull her underwear and pants up and help her if she needs help, and then assist her in washing. Then gradually have her take more responsibility . I think my girl was 4 1/2 before I had helped her feel like she could do it all herself. And at that point our rule was she had to try to do everything on her own before I would even come into the bathroom to check and make sure she did wipe well(for Poop). I think she just wanted reassurance from me and the knowledge that she was doing a good enough job. I potty trained that particular child for almost three years, with success off and on, that was really frustrating for me. I have found that the less I talked about it or over reacted, the more successes she had. I had to just indulge/humor her and love her and be matter-of-fact about messes and cleaning them up. Hopefully yours is still interested in the toilet and wanting to stay dry. Sometimes you have to allow for some relapse. good luck and may you have all the patience you need.
E.

I think she still needs help with wiping. I have a 3yr old (almost 4) and she still does not clean herself well. Sometimes she still pees her pants and I think it has something to do with a possible infection. I think if I would help her wipe more she would understand the more correct way of wiping and she wouldn't have wetting problems. I need to help clear up any possible infections. Plus maybe your daughter just likes your attention for a while, too. This is just some ideas.

Sorry, I really have no sympathy. And I sincerely mean that with the best of feelings. I congratulate you on getting her this far already, though. My first daughter (the only of my four who are potty trained currently) was potty trained at the same age, but insisted that I "help" her with EVERYTHING until she was at least 3 1/3 (she's 4 + 2 months now). I had to put her panties and pants back on, I had to wipe her, I had to help her wash her hands, etc. She could do all these things on her own, but simply refused. She would say "I can't do it!" She is the oldest of FOUR. THREE of which are still in diapers now, and were when I was having to help her use the potty. I think there is nothing wrong with her asking for your help at that age. She is still very young and probably needs your help for emotional reasons as well as physical cleanliness reasons. Congrats on getting her done so quickly to this point! Enjoy her age and her wanting your help now because soon enough, she won't want your help with anything, and it will take three times as long... even when you're in a hurry!

Mine was the same until after three. She just wasn't coordinated enough to pull on the potty or motivated. then she was in preschool in the fall and they spent the first two weels getting anyone out of a pull-up that was in one, training them to pull themselves up in a public potty, wiping, flushing, and washing with soap. It was amazing...in two weks peer pressure worked wonders. she obviously needs help wih #2 though. Oh, and the less pressure and more "hey whatever, just get it done" the more motivated she is. at this age, as you must know, it HAS to be her idea, not yours.

W.,

Your two-year-old get to know that she is capable.
It is a tricky transition for her moving toward independence.
I would encourage you to so patience and love.

With my whole heart,
C. TLC (Transition Life Coach)
Loving Connections LLC

What is loving connection?
Caring enough to share your whole heart.

Just say NO! I mean you are the parent, if she pees on herself, have her clean it up. When you do it and try to explain she should do it, of course she is going to know you are going to do it so why bother?
Just encourage her by telling her that she is a big girl and needs to try it herself as she knows how, then tell her if she REALLY needs help AFTER she has tried herself then you will help, BUT ONLY after she has tried. Each time make her try harder before jumping to help, praise her for trying and doing it. Tell her how proud you are of her being a big girl too. It takes time, she is still really young and if there is a baby that is getting attention for diapers she probably just wants attention with the help. I would say continue encouraging her to do it herself and tell her you will help after she has tried....good luck

She is being stubborn and you have to be stubborn too to get her over this block. If she has an accident because she is trying to get you to do something she can do herself, she needs to clean it up. Be nice, but firm about it. Tell her that when she makes a mess she has to clean it up just like she does with her toys. It will take more time for a while, but it will pay off.

It also sounds to me like she is trying to get one-on-one attention with you. If you are babysitting six kids she may crave having her mom just to herself and she sees potty time as a good way to get it.

Pat yourself on the back that she's potty trained at such an early age. I personally wouldn't want a 2 1/2 year old going to the potty by herself. I would want to be there to prevent messes. I think you're expecting too much of her. But I'm a mother of two boys (20 months & 5 years) --- and it's a whole different ball of wacks. My oldest son wasn't potty trained until 3. I wiped him until 4. He wipes himself at 5 --- but doesn't do a good job. Plus he gets his pee all over the place on the potty. I think girls are cleaner. It's understandable that your hands are full with 4-6 kids --- but your're the adult and she's the kid. Maybe enlist the help of the older kids. This phase won't last forever.

i'm using little marshmallows as a reward for my 2 yr old. i got tired of doing it all for him too, especially since he's been able to pull up and down his pants since he was like 1 1/2. so i upped the reward of one marshmallow to two if he pulls up and down his pants himself. it has helped. some days he still refuses to do it himself, but the reward has motivated him to do it more often. and about a week ago he just decided he wanted to wear underwear instead of the pull ups. he's had a few accidents, but it gets better every day. as long as i remind him to go about every 1 to 1 1/2 hours, he stays dry. just last night he refused to wear the pull up to bed and stayed dry all night, then willingly went to the toilet first thing in the morning. there still are times when he wants me to pull up and down his pants, but now there are times when he even wants me out of the bathroom for the whole thing, so i'm just thrilled with his progress, even if it isn't totally consistent yet. good luck!

Take her to the store and let her pick out some frilly panties. Then tell her they are big girl panties and she can wear them when she can go potty by herself - she doesn't want to get her pretty panties all icky! Okay, yes it's bribery, but it's natural consequences too.