Vacation W/o Kids - How to Tell Them So They Won't Be Upset?

I wouldn't spin it at all. Who says that everything adults get to do kids should get to do as well? There are plenty of great things that are only available to adults because that is just the way it is not because adults are cruel and are withholding things from kids.

My oldest wants lots of things DESPERATELY but we simply say wantin' isn't gettin'. Not to be cruel but because they are not the all-deserving-center-of-the-universe.

Just tell them you are going on vacation and they are getting a little mini-vacation of their own by staying with granma/grampa.

I think honesty is always the best policy. Tell them it's a cruise for adults and you'll be taking them with you on vacation next time.

NEVER lie to your children. Life is full of disappointments. She needs to begin to learn how to deal with them. If you shelter her and don't equip her to deal with being disappointed how will she manage life? You may want to plan a weekend get away on some kind of cruise like experience (ie, riverboat or cruising the SC shore line) for her if it fits into the budget.

Don't try to "spin" it. Tell her you understand her disappointment. Even bring her some trinket back, take loads of pictures to show her. Perhaps enlist the grandparents to take pictures of her week while you are gone to share when you come home. There are plenty of things she can do while you are gone but don't feel guilty about going or lie to her about where you are going & Have fun.

My hubby and I took a cruise and left all four children behind. I would highly recommend not lying! When you get back you will have lots of pictures and stories you will want to share with your children and others. They would be very hurt if they found out you lied to them.
Just tell them. You and brother get to go to Grandma & Grandpa so &so's house for 4 days!!!! Then, guess what? You get to go to Grandma & Grandpa So & So's house for 4 days!! Isn't that awesome?? You are going to have such fun!! (then talk about any planned activities). Once they are excited about their trip you tell them that you and Daddy are going to be having "mushy grown up time" on a ship during the time they're gone.
Your daughter may still get upset, but that's life. You can't protect her from getting upset, you can only teach her how to properly deal with it. Any time she brings up your trip, you can bring up hers and how much fun it will be.

How exciting!! Good for you guys! Don't lie to your kids though. They need to learn they don't always get what they want :) Just let them know Mommy and Daddy are going away on vacation together. If she asks where tell her the truth and let her know some day you guys will go on a cruise together. Have fun!

We leave our kids a few times a year if possible! They're KIDS -simply tell them the truth and that you and Daddy need to take some trips by yourselves because they're really not good places for kids to go. I know there are kid cruises, but 4 1/2 year olds don't. Children DESPERATELY need to understand this day and age that not everything is for them or includes them. It's important for them to know that they'll have to wait until they're grown or much older to do some things -and it gives them something to look forward to. If she pouts or is upset, just tell her you know she'll actually have a much better time with the grandparents and at preschool, because if she was with you there would be nothing for a kid to do. Tell her what you'll be doing -laying around, reading, listening to grown up music and eating fancy food that's not for kids. It's fine to couch her stay at the grandparents as a vacation with them, but don't lie to her about where you're going. You want to be able to do this more often, right? Don't set a precedence for lying now! Get them used to the idea. We always tell our kids and if our oldest (who is also 4 1/2) gets pouty, I tell him it's a grown-up trip and he can go on grown-up trips when he is one, but he'll have a great time with Grammie!

Nah, you don't have to lie. I would just tell them that some boats are for kids and some boats are only for grown-ups. Let them know that one day, when they get older, you'll all go on a super fun family cruise! But, this one is for grown-ups and they would be bored silly.........SO! YOU get to go on VACATION at grandma & grandad's!!!! Tell them that they will have tons of fun and that you and daddy will most definitely bring them back a super special surprise! =0) Don't lie and don't feel guilty about your much deserved solo vacation! Your kids will have a blast w/o you and you two will have a blast w/o them! LOL Once they know that this is a "grown ups only" boat.......they'll be fine. Especially with the promise of a fun family cruise a few years down the road. HAVE TONS OF FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm super jealous by the way! =0)

Yep, especially at such a young age. You don't need to lie, just don't tell them what they don't need to know. Emphasis that "They" are going on vacation and that you and Daddy are going to go on a date.

When you come back and they see pictures you can tell them that you'll take them when they are old enough. But, before you leave this is THEIR vacation!

Be honest about where you are going but play it up where they are going. Talk to both sets of grandparents and decide upon a 'fun' event that they can do whether its getting ice cream one night or going to a park. It really doesn't have to be elaborate. But make sure you act as this is the best thing in the world. A concrete example of what kind of fun they are having is important.

Make sure you pack a lovey so they can be comforted. Your daughter only wants to go because of the conversations she is hearing so if she hears she too will have fun it hopefully will offset and replace her desire to go.

Good luck and have fun....I want to go:)!

Mommy and Daddy are going on a trip and you get to go play with Grandma and Grandpa! Which toys do you want to bring? Maybe you and Grandma can make cookies together!....

A good salesman will always use the "what's in it for me" philosophy. So, as long as you make it just as fun for the kids, while leaving out most of your exciting trip details, then they will be just fine. Also, don't hesitate to firmly state "it's for adults only."

We went to LA last year for 4 days, and I worried my kids would be jealous, but we just told them this vacation was just for Mom and Dad. Some of our family vacations include the whole family, and some do not. Then we reminded them of the prior vacations we took them on, and assured them we will be going on more family vacations with fun things for kids in the future. Emphasize all the grown up things you will be doing that they would find very boring. We talked about all the fun they'd get to have with Grandma and Grandpa, and promised we'd bring home souveniers. That was all it took, no more sore feelings.

I have not read all of the responses so far.

First...I think there is no reason ever to lie to your children. It just sets you up for later on when they realize you have lied and then they will repeat that behavior.

Be honest, just not overly excited in front of them. Approach the idea of them having an adventure with Grandparents.

My daughter would love to have a close relationship with Grandparents and to have been able to spend some time with them. That alone is something your children will treasure later on.

Don't feel guilty, don't "spin" it.... be honest and help them look forward to their adventure!!

I think they may be more upset if they were older :) Like others said, just tell them this is a mommy daddy trip and they are having special fun time w/Grandma & Grandpa.

Grown ups and kids have different ideas about what's fun. What's fun for you would bore the kids to death and vice verse. Tell them they will have a fun vacation of their own at the Grandparents. Make sure their vacation time sounds more fun for them than your vacation time - which is perfectly true from their point of view. What are they going to be doing while they visit the Grandparents? They are not being left out of the fun - their fun is just different.

Good for you! My husband and I are going on a cruise in January too and are worrying a bit about this ourselves! I worry too that they are going to be upset (mine will only be 1 and 3) and feel left out and not understand, but ultimately I think it's important for them to see the two of you doing things for yourselves. I would make sure you have international calling on your phone before your trip though so you can call in at port!

I probably wouldn't want to lie either. I would probably just as you said tell them they are going to get to spend some special time with Grandma & Grandpa. I would then state that you and your husband are going on an adult trip that wouldn't be that much fun for kids. Then maybe you can say, in the summer, or whenever you think might be possible the whole family will take a fun kid trip/vacation.
Then you can also add the fun things you think might be done at Grandma and Grandpa's. Perhaps even get your children involved in the packing and or bringing some favorite toys to their grandparents.

All this being said, I wouldn't bring much of this up until it gets closer to your trip.

Tell she is going on vacation with the grandparents have them do some fun things with her. Go the movies or museum,zoo and while she is a way you and daddy will be on a trip too. So she is the really leaving first. Do you have a family trip planned for later in the year? Tell about that trip even if you go on a long weekend camping that includes her. Let it be a non issue if it is really no big that you guys are going on trip there will less anxiety for her. Have a great time.
J. O

I think that the right tactic is to emphasize that they will be vacationing with their grandparents. I don't think it is deceitful at all, as it will be a complete departure from their normal routine, and I'm sure their grandparents are going to plan fun activities and events for them.

When you talk about your trip, perhaps you could refer to is at a Mommy-Daddy Trip Date, or something like that.

You and your husband have a relationship that is separate from your children's and vise versa. Do not lie as there is no need to. Don't try to spin this. This is an excellent time to explain to them the specialness of your marital relationship. That you and your husband love each other. That your trip is a vacation for the marriage and involves mommy and daddy. It is a time to teach your children that marriage is sacred and needs its special, separate attention just as the family unit is sacred and needs special separate vacation. It is a time for them to learn that adult relationships are separate from theirs and that there are times when adults need to be together alone. Children need reality. Tell them mommy and daddy need time together. Keep it simple. At their age they may still balk but that is life. Assure them you love them. That this is special time with them and grandparents - a relationship that needs support.Stay your ground and don't get the guilts where you start overexplaining or placating. Just the facts, lovingly and simple. I just read where you are concerned about resentment and "adult boring trip". Resentment is a spin you are projecting onto this. Don't worry about that. Boring adult trip? You are lying. It is a adult trip period. Period. Good luck. J. Gordon