A., --I'm assuming you're local because the requests I see tend to be from the DC Metro area-- if so, try going to Washingtonparent.com, they have a huge list of resources for all types of birthday parties.
My daughter attended a princess tea party when she was about 4 and it was really cute -- a woman hosted the princess tea at her apartment in Old Town with real china, etc. Was great for the mother because she didn't need to have all the children at her house, of course. But I've noticed that some services offer to bring everything to your house (costumes, games, cookies, etc -- including the hostess), that route may be cheaper. I haven't investigated the princess teas myself, but got some great suggestions and recommendations for other types of kid parties from that site. Best luck, and hope this helps!