I have a son who will be 2 1/2 next month. Let me first say he has never been a good sleeper or napper. The past few weeks he has been getting up frequently in the night, often around 4 am and is ready to go for the day. He normally goes to bed about 8:30 and has pretty much given up naps during the day. When he does nap he is frequently not ready for bed until 9:30 or 10. He is a light sleeper and tosses and turns when he does get to sleep. I have tried everything I can think of to deal with this. I limit TV to under an hour a day, lots and lots and lots of physical activity...playing outside, swimming, everything I can think of to keep him busy and tire him out, plus limited sugars and processed foods. It seems that his energy just keeps going and going. He runs all day! I do still rock/sit with him as he falls to sleep but try to make sure he is in his bed before he completely falls asleep. We have done the whole "supernanny" bedtime routine & followed the advice of "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" but getting him to sleep this way was quite an ordeal. After 3 months of putting back to bed sometimes 100+ times a night and a 3 hour bedtime routine everynight, I just went back to rocking him to sleep which takes about 5-10 minutes before he settles down, he just is not staying asleep. My husband travels and works long hours so I am basically on my own dealing with this. I am starting to get frustrated because Mommy is tired too and needs sleep to keep up with this busy guy. The past few nights be has been averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep. Nothing has changed in our routine except he has completed potty training over the past month (he is still in a nightime diaper). Anybody out there also have a very active child with some advice for me?
That is so awesome that you are a mother that stays at home. You are doing the most important work on earth. Thank you so much.
Try these books if you have a quiet moment. :-)
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers
Baby Wise for Toddlers
Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child
I feel your pain! My now 7 1/2 year old was a terrible sleeper. When all the basic advice fails (white noise, consistent routine, etc.), try to remember that you and your child may need a different system. No book can be perfect for every family. Trust your own instincts about what is right for your family. It sounds like you're already doing all the right things (lots of excercise, healthy food, minimal TV, etc.).
That said...I started giving my daughter a tatoo in the morning if she left me alone all night when she was about 3 years old. That improved things for me, but she was still often up for hours in the night (I'd see elaborate block and animal set-ups that had not been there at bedtime). White noise helped some, a high-protein snack at bedtime helped some. She didn't nap at all after her 3rd birthday. We did quiet time for an hour after lunch in her room. I set a kitchen timer, and she could come out when it dinged. If she came out early, I added minutes.
When I finally discovered Cranio-Sacral massage therapy, I was so sad I had not heard of it earlier. She was 5 1/2 when we first tried it, but I have since taken both my younger children (one at just 4 days old - it is totally safe). She slept soundly all night for the first time in a long long time the night after her first massage. If this is the magic bullet for your kid, you'll know the first day. It can't hurt; it might help a lot. www.kenpiercy.com This is the therapist we use. It's extremely gentle, the kids lay on a massage table or a big swing and play with toys during the massage. I used to stay and read stories to her during the massage also. My daughter now goes quarterly, and we're all so much happier when she sleeps better.
I also knew a family with a very similar baby/toddler who swore by some kind of magnetic pad they put under the baby's mattress. They said that was amazing, and she started sleeping much longer and more soundly immediately. Sorry I can't give you more specific information on that one.
"Raising Your Spiritied Child" is another great book to try.
Hang in there, and don't give up. Some kids are more challenging than others, and sleep deprivation is serious for both you and your child.
S.
(mom of 3: ages 7, 5 and 1)
Have you also thought about a white noise for his room?
That might help some
You poor thing! (Said with utmost sympathy and respect). Sleep problems are the pits. I know the frustration you are going through b/c my best friend has the same type of problem with her 3 year old. It has been going on for a good 6-8 months, and she like you has tried all sorts of things. With my almost 3 year old, one thing that I have found to be successful is a reward system. I read about in the same book you mentioned, "Healthy Sleep Habits...", so I don't know if you've tried this or not. Anyway, we made a chart with the sleep rules and give him smiley face stickers when he adheres to all the rules. If he gets 3, we get to go somewhere like Splash Park or a ride on the DART. For naps, if he is successful, he doesn't get a sticker, he just gets to watch a favorite cartoon. This has solved all of his problems of getting up and down, etc. Not saying, he doesn't slip once in a while, but he really gets the system now. I was a bit iffy about the whole bribery thing. But ultimately, you're supposed to ween them of the material rewards, and good old self esteem becomes the prize. Hope this helps a little.
I just gave the following advice to another mom with similar situation. It may help you as well. :o)
"If you give him milk right before bed, some kids' bodies us it as a stimulant. Try cutting out the milk from lunchtime on (or don't give at all). Humans are the only animal that continues to give milk after weening. Hmmm?
Read the book: Don't Drink Your Milk by Frank A. Oski, M.D."
Blessings,
P. <><
Your busy boy may be so busy because he is tired. That sounds crazy but when my son is overly tired, he acts really hyper! Bizarre!? My twins are 2 1/2. They sleep from about 8:00-6:00 and take a 2-2 1/2 hour nap. So they are getting roughly 12 hours of sleep a day.
If your son isn't napping, he really needs an earlier bedtime. Sometimes, if they are staying up too late, it's like they get a second wind and it makes it harder for them to settle down and go to sleep.
I rocked my son (now 5). It made it easier for me and I liked holding him close and watching him fall asleep. But he wasn't learning to fall asleep on his own so when he woke up in the night, he needed me to rock him back to sleep. You need to break that habit, as tough as it will be for both of you.
Here's our routine:
I bathe them with Huggies baby wash with Lavender(purple bottle). Brush teeth.
Have a drink of water.
Read a couple books. Lots of hugs and kisses, turn on the music, and lights out.
(Lately, the girls want to read a book on their own in their cribs so I give them about 5-10 minutes to "read" and then the lights go out.)
I also use a fan in the girls' room during naps to block noise.
Our CD's are World Baby-Peaceful Celtic Lullabies put out by Fisher Price and Lifescapes Serenity (Target). We had a lot of misses with lullaby CD's because they would play upbeat songs in the middle.
Bless you for doing it on your own most of the time. I know that is tough.
Hope this helps. Sorry for rambling.
Stephanie
I totally feel for you. Have never been in that situation so my only advice is try the BABY WHISPERER method for older shildren. I started it early on and love it. Just google the baby whisperer and it will take you to the website. Good Luck!!
Hi C.! You've gotten lots of good advice already, and I agree that you should try a variety of methods to see what works best for your son. I would add, however, that you should mention this to your pediatrician, and be sure he gets a full check-up. My DD was similar (although at a younger age), and it turned out that she had a medical condition that caused her heart to work inefficiently. As a result, she was literally running on adreniline all the time, and had a lot of trouble slowing down. Once we treated the underlying cause, her sleep habits changed ENOURMOUSLY. She'll now actually ask to go to be when she's tired! I will absolutely pray that all is well with your son, and that he's just an active kid or going through a phase, but it is worth checking out his health, too, just to find out if you need to do something to help him out. Good luck, I know sleep deprivation is really, really, really challenging, especially when you're often alone!
Ask your dr about trying melatonin drops or spray... I got mine at market street and it seems to help. plus i use a white noise machine in the kids rooms.
A. J
You might want to try a sound machine for his room.
Also, I agree with the other person, that the rocking might be what he needs to get back to sleep (so you have to figure out how to cut that out). I saw a story once on another family cutting the rocking out which included the mom/dad staying in the room for a while after they put their son to bed and then moving the chair further and further away from the bed until they were out of the room in the evenings. Also, you may want to start a serious evening routine - bathtime, story, bed (without the rocking).
Really, he is old enough for you to start establishing some real rules for your house (i.e. he goes to bed at X time and doesn't come out of his room until X time). If he does come out, you just take him back to his room.
try playing some classical music or lullbys for him that seems to help them unwind
I am sorry to say but I think it is the rocking him to sleep . he is used to that and expects that to go back to sleep. good luck.
It has been proven time and time again that the less a child sleeps the lighter and shorter they stay asleep. My advice to you is to either give him a short nap right after lunch or put him to bed 30 min earlier at night. This should actually help him sleep longer, as strange as it sounds. Also, some kids sleep better with "white noise" or soft classical music playing in their room, it helps to drown out all the other noises they might hear that would wake them up. My only other suggestion is to make sure his room is very child proof and shut his door at night, this will also help drown out extra noise, will encourage him to go back to sleep when he gets up early due to lack of stimulation, and will allow you to sleep an extra hour or so. Just make it a rule that you will open his door when it's time to wake up, if he does get up and stay up before you he can play quietly by himself in a safe room.
We have been in a similar place to where you are. Sometimes my little guy was up hourly, and up for the day at 5am. Something is going on with your little guy. My hunch is that its not a behavioral issue you are dealing with, but something physically based. Many people encouaged us to CIO or be more 'strict' with our routine but in my heart I knew my little one wanted to sleep but something was preventing him from doing so. You have already tried behavioral approaches, I dont think you need more of the same. Turns out with us it was a food intolerance. Insomnia is a symptom of food allergies! You could try an elimination diet for the 'big 8' or ask for a referral to a pediatric allergist. Our son's allergy didnt show up on the standard allergy test either. Best of luck, hang in there!~
my daughter is the same way & has been pretty much her whole life, she gave up naps between 2-3...& is also a very early riser.
what i have done is a quiet time in the afternoon, she does not have to sleep but she does have to lay down (not necessarily in bed) & have quiet time, which is either, reading a book or watching a video.
she also is an early riser (now about 6am but it used to be around 4am for awhile)
your son is still young (as was she when she was getting up so early)
what i did was to tell her that she was not allowed up until the sun comes up, if she did wake up then she was allowed to lay in bed & read a book or play quietly until the sun woke up...sometimes morning cartoons on occassion
as my daughter has gotten older we got her a clock & she knows she cant come out of her room until 6am.
i know that sometimes it is tough, i am totally not a morning person, but my kids totally are, so we have come to a medium that i can deal with...i try to get to bed earlier myself & now i love spending early morning time with them.
some kids are just morning people but a reasonable hour must be decided & then go from there...
