Very Smart Kid with Memory Issues

Updated on January 23, 2009
A.D. asks from North Reading, MA
5 answers

Hi..I am asking about my 6 year old son tonight. He is in 1st grade and cannot read yet. Sometimes he cannot even tell you all of his ABC's. and believe me, we have gone over it and read to him and flash cards and everything. He is really struggling in 1st grade though and almost even kept him back in kindergarten. Well, I just had an IEP test done for him and most of everything came back that he is at least average and some were above average. They said his IQ is 111. The school is thinking he may have dyslexia. He has a memory processing issue. Trouble recalling things in his head. He needs directions repeated to him numerous times and can't follow a 3 step simple instruction such as put your jammies on, brush teeth and put clothes in hamper. Usually I'm lucky if he can follow 1 of those. His school will help him by putting him in extra help classes, but I'm a little leary due to the fact I don't want him to be in "special" classes each year. I feel he should be with his classmates. Has anyone ever been in this situation and found maybe a school that specializes in this? I just don't want ot make the wrong choice for my son.
thanks

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S.T.

answers from Boston on

If dyslexia is the reason for your son's struggles than putting him into the special classes would most likely be a temporary thing. In most case children are pulled out to work one on one with a specialist not completely removed from their peers.
You said that your son is very smart, and eventually he will start to think he is dumb if is allowed to continually struggle with out the help needed. So many children these days get help with one thing or another that most of his peers won't even notice that he is getting extra help.
That being said, I have a 35 yr old brother who has dyslexia, and he received help through elementary and middle schools. Once he reached the HS he had learned enough strategies to work independently in a regular classroom. If your son needs help learning, than the sooner the better. There are schools that specialize in learning needs, but the public schools should be given a chance.

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C.R.

answers from Boston on

Sounds like he may have an executive memory function disorder and this has nothing to do with intelligence. He needs support though, not to be in a situation where adults are frustrated with him or teachers who do not understand. Do some research and get him evaluated. He can get the support he needs and your family can too.

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter who is 13 has an executive function problem which relates to short term memory (i.e. multiple step instructions). She struggled terribly with reading until 4th grade (Harry Potter saved the day). The only class where her learning difference shows up currently is math but even there she does pretty good because she is in the level 2 class (they can go a little slower than the other level 1 class). She is actually getting a "A" right now. It does wonder for a kids self esteem! I know I had a terrible time with math and wish that I was given the opportunity to be in a classroom where the teacher was able to teach at my pace instead of the school's pace. Let the school do everything they can to help your son. He is still very young and so much changes as they grow and mature. He will learn coping mechanisms to help him get through his reading difficulties and memory issues.

As for the special classes, you need to find out how your school handles the special ed. Is is full inclusion or pull out. I think at the earlier ages, the pull out is just fine. Even in the older grades nowadays, there are so many kids with learning differences, it just doesn't matter to them. So many kids are in the resource room that it is just a way of life.

Hope this helpd a little. Good luck.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

The school cannot diagnose your child. They can try to address the issue with extra help, etc, but my recommendation is that you talk to your pediatrician about the problems he seems to be having with memory. I believe your pediatrician will recommend that you obtain an outside evaluation for your son to hopefully determine exactly what is going on. A lot of children receive extra help in certain areas. They may pull him out of the classroom for extra help if they need to, but he won't be the only one. Some children even receive the help of an aide in the classroom to ensure the child's success.

His memory issues have to be significant enough for them to just agree to an IEP and services. Never assume that they will give him EVERYTHING that he needs. Budgets are very tight right now, and we no longer have "maximum feasible benefit." By having an outside evaluation done, you can determine exactly what he needs. You can then call a team meeting with school personnel (always put it in writing, have it date stamped and save a copy as they must respond to you within a certain period of time) to discuss the findings and recommendations that you have received from an outside evaluation. An outside evaluation takes some time, so I would recommend that you review and sign your IEP so that he will receive services ASAP. The most important thing is that he receive the assistance required to be successful. Children that are very bright but are having difficulties sometimes become extremely frustrated.

As far as a school that deals with memory issues, I'm not aware of any, but you would also be taking your child out of his neighborhood school where all his friends go and putting him in a school somewhere else. Plus, you do not really have a true diagnosis. No school district will just automatically agree to outplacement as it is extremely expensive.

I am not sure where you live, but I do know that towns are supposed to have PACs. I am from Peabody, and we have the Peabody Parents of Children with Special Needs. They have monthly meetings with very informative speakers on a variety of topics. At those meetings, you meet many, many parents, some of whom may have gone through exactly what you're going through. There is a wealth of information to be gained by networking with other people. By the way, anyone can attend our meetings (i.e., you don't have to be from Peabody).

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A.R.

answers from Boston on

I have a 12 year old daughter that has ADD and executive functioning issues. I was very concerned about her inability to follow directions and to complete her homework because she couldn't remember what the teacher had taught that day. This was mostly a problem with math. She had an IEP test in 2nd grade which did not turn up these issues because it wasn't testing for them. She was diagnosed by taking a neuropsych test which will also reveal learning difficulties like dyslexia. Turns out part of it was the ADD - she didn't really learn it because she wasn't paying attention - and part the executive functioning which is the memory piece. She now gets tutoring to develop strategies to deal with her learning challenges. She also gets accommodations in school that help her succeed like testing in a quiet room, extended time on tests, etc. She is a bright kid and does very well in school. It makes all of the difference having a specific diagnosis so that you can get your son the help he needs early on and avoid teachers labeling him lazy or unmotivated. You also want to act early so that his self-confidence doesn't suffer. That is the biggest threat to learning - when kids give up because they think they are stupid and can't learn.

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