My daughter was very much the same way from infancy. I always said she was the only 3 month old with bags under her eyes! She's 5 now and each year it gets better, but we still struggle.
I don't know that I have answers, but a few thoughts came to mind that might help:
- maybe he needs a chance to wind down/talk about his day/something else? If you get home, do dinner, only sometimes get playtime, then bath, etc., he may be overstimulated already and needs to get some of it out. Squeeze in a little of that free play, a walk or something else no matter how little time there seems to be or give him time to tell you about his day (if he's anything like my daughter, he won't just talk, he'll jump around and act out his day). It will help him wind down before you start the bedtime routine.
- change up the night routine. If it won't freak him out, do the same things, but in a slightly different order or add or subtract something. I think, at least with my daughter, doing the same routine every night, she knew what was coming. It was routine, no longer relaxing. Change it up just slightly.
- however you discipline, make it a behavioral issue. If he's getting out of bed and jumping around, he has disobeyed you. There should be a consequence. If you can get him to stay in bed, he may fall asleep a little sooner. Even if giving that consequence gets him more wound up on the first few nights, once he knows you expect it of him and he learns to obey, it won't be an issue anymore.
- does he have sleep sounds/sound machine? My daughter uses one. I think it helps filter out some noises, which gives her less to think about and less to disturb her as she falling asleep or sleeping.
I hope I was some help. If nothing is working, I'd also consider a visit with the pediatrician. It can't hurt to rule out physical issues that could be causing it.
Good luck!
B.