Video Games Already!!!

Pack the console up and put it away. You are the parent and what you say goes. He knows that if he throws a fit that he will eventually get his way. I say take the thing away long enough for him to realize that it wasnt always there to entertain him and he will quickly realize that he was once ammused and entertained playing outside and with his other toys. Dont let a 4 year old tell you how it is. Lay down the law =)
Good Luck

If you cant set a healthy boundary with the game then you better not let him play at all. Mine started playing at age 4 (atari), but I didnt let them get addicted to it. Just redirect to something else rather than letting him sulk and pout over not being able to play. You need to offer up other choices, and a vid game can be included in the choices just dont let it become master.

oh man, my son did the same thing last year when he was 3! i decided to let him play all he wanted thinking that he would get sick of it after a bit. plus my son is super stubborn and will do something just to make someone mad. seriously, not making it up. so anyways, after a few weeks maybe, he stopped playing it so much. now he will ask to play and if i feel like it, i will tell him yes. i also ask if he would rather play board games, etc. he's really into crafts and drawing so that takes up a huge part of his time. my son will play outside only until he feels his head start to sweat and then he wants to come in LOL>

There is a very simple way you can fix this. Unplug the video games and don't plug them back in. Seriously. At three years old, he needs to be up moving and playing, not staring at a screen. I know it's an easy way to distract him and keep him contained and happy, but he's not learning (much) and it's causing problems for your relationship with him. So why not just stop the video games cold turkey and allow him to start back up in a few years when he's more emotionally ready to understand time limits?

I'm not an anti-TV or video games person -- everything in moderation -- but sometimes little kids simply can't handle the moderation part, and it's kinder to remove the problem than fight over it on a regular basis.

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Where ever did you get the idea that a 3 yr old needs video games?
Oh yeah - the marketing - and - 'everyone else has them'.
Video games can be very addictive.
And 3 yr olds have got enough going on with the 'terrible 3's' to get through.
Pack the games away for a few years and if/when you bring them out again make sure he understands that they are not a privilege or a right - they are a special treat which is earned each time for good behavior - when/AFTER chores are completed, homework is done, room is cleaned, bed is made, etc.

In my opinion, the video games just need to go. It will only be an ongoing problem as long as you let it. Your son is only 3. He is not going to limit himself. He wants what he wants. You, as a mother, know that what he wants isn't always best for him.
As far as him telling you he doesn't like you, let it roll off your back. It's not that he doesn't like YOU, he doesn't like not getting his way.
I have several friends who had to get rid of the video games. I don't mean they put them in the closet. I mean they sold them, gave them away, they got them out of the house. Problem solved.
I think that's your best solution. I really do. He'll be mad at first, but he'll get over it and you can get back to your pre-video game life. You'll both be better off in the end.

Best wishes.

Just my opinion, but why not just get rid of (put away in the closet) the gaming system? He may throw a fit for a bit, but it will be worth it in the end.
Just my two cents,
R.

What we do is give them a certain amount of time to play , and if they fuss about turning it off, they don't get to play at all the next day. When they are down to about 10 minutes left, I give them little updates every few minutes. "You have 4 minutes left" I think it helps them to mentally prepare themselves, and they are less likely to get upset.

I think once he stops the tantrums, you won't feel like you're losing him (you're not ). Once he's lost his priveleges once or twice, he'll stop- so long as you don't cave, of course.

Also, you could have his game time be before lunch or dinner. That way, when it's time to stop, he'll be hungry anyway and maybe won't mind stopping as much.

Good luck :)

Honestly, and this is based on experience, I think you need to take the video games away completely. He is only 3. If you take the games and put them away where he cannot see them, it will not be long before he forgets about them and finds something else to do.
My husband is very much into video games; my kids see this and of course they want to play video games all the time too. My oldest is 7 and honestly that is ALL he wants to do. It has been like that for years, it is like he is addicted. And I have gone back and forth "video games are fine for an hour a day" to "none at all" to feeling bad and letting him earn them...the problem is that if the video games are an option, then that is ALL he will talk about and he just keeps bugging me about them and pouting if he can't play. He also does his homework really poorly and his chores as quickly as possible just to get to the video games. So it is just better if they are not even an option.

You could borrow 3 of our house rules if you like:

1) If you whine you don't get what you want

2) If you throw a fit you don't get what you want AND you go on timeout

3) If you don't pop off with good attitude &/or are throwing fits you lose that thing for the entire rest of the day and all of the next. (first offense) 1 week (2nd offense) 2 weeks (3rd offense) 1 month (4th offense). We've lost single items for 1 month, we've also had total electronics bans for up to 1 month.

At 3 we had the same fits about MANY things. We just applied household rules to EVERYTHING.

We don't have any video games in our house, and likely never will. I know kids in middle school that are failing school because they are already addicted to gaming. I know that there are arguments in favor of learning from gaming, and we have plenty of technology in our home, but not gaming. You are the parent, he didn't "discover video games", you provided them for him. If he can't handle the limits, then take them away completely.

Video games ARE taking your son away. You are letting it happen. Get rid of all of them until he's older. There is no way you can limit his time on them, especially if he is throwing fits now. You can't reason with a 3-year-old. The video games just have got to go. It will be a painful few days until he realizes they aren't coming back. You'll need to find things for him to do to occupy his time and so he'll forget about the video games. Good luck.

Video Games are something that needs to be earned in our house (this goes for both kid & adults).

1) played only on weekend if it is school season (even if not in school)
during the summer can play every other day if the below is done.
2) ALL chores must be done.
4) Must play outside for at least an hour before playing video games, bad weather outside means must play indoors for an hour before the video games.
3) time limit, time limit, time limit... we stick to 1 hour MAX per day (usually not played during the week, only on weekend).
4) any whinny, crying, complaining about not playing or having to stop the previlage of playing video games are taken away for a week.

My 4 year old daughter has simple chores but it shows that she is responsible... room cleaned up, bed made, clean up after herself, helps bring in the groceries, helps dust and simple tasks like that.

It helps to have the rules written down and posted, that way everyone is on the same page and you can easily use it as a reminder.

We taught my son that video games (like TV) need to take rests from time to time so they dont wear out. The use of timers was really helpful. Also bed time and shower (bath) time are ruled by the clock. Show him 7:00 is bath time 8:00 is bed time (or whatever) He seemed to like that it wasnt Mom or dad nagging him it was the clock. "Uh oh look at the clock it says 7:00 we need to hurry to the bath tub!" This also got him very interested in telling time at age 4 I like to have him bathed and in jammies early so plenty of time for cuddling and reading and talking.

they ARE taking your son away. Throw them out, and tell him there are better things in life.

Set a timer. When it goes off, the games are over. If he throws a fit, walk away and don't respond to it. He will learn. It will just take time.

Along w/ the timer, let him know when he has 5, 4, 3, 2 and then 1 min left. I've done this w/ dd for years and it's really helped her transition time. Sure, she still gets upset at times, but it's less than it used to be and I tell her, you know time was almost over cause I was telling you.

Games are a big part of our lifestyle and permeate our home. My husband works in the game industry, which took a big hit this last year, so he is currently unemployed but games are how we make a living and our household motto is: "The family that plays together, stays together."

We play age appropriate games with our four year old daughter. Her favorite game right now is Lego Star Wars. It can be played by two people who work as a team to defeat obstacles. We'll play for forty minutes to an hour and then stop at a save point to continue another day.

She also does not like to stop when it's time and will unfurl her lower lip in a bid to get more time. Sometimes we give it and other times not. Being completely ridged about it isn't any fun. If she pitches a fit, which has only happened a few times. She is marched straight up to bed for a nap. When she throws fits like that, it's completely obvious she's over tired and she usually passes out in her bed shortly after her head hits the pillow.

It's good to have passion for something, even if it's the dreaded "video games", but make sure to teach him to temper his passion and divert him to other things that are also enjoyable. Whip out some play doh and make creatures to hop around and collect hidden marbles you hide under magazines on the coffee table. Find out what game is his favorite and print out some free coloring pages that are found all over the internet of his favorite game characters then stick them up on the fridge.

Pull out a board game and show him that not all games are on the TV and he can have fun with you. I know my kid will dump her controller faster than anything if I pull out chutes and ladders to play with her. She's still the reigning champ in the house as the spinner seems to favor her for every game. I almost won once and she looked like she was prepared for devastation but uh oh... mommy hit a big ladder for pulling a cats tail and down down down she went. Lucky little stinker...

Now my only problem is trying to teach her to be a good sport when she loses. We play so many team games that we are always the victors! And when we play board games for her age, she's just stinking lucky and always wins...

Maybe I should take her to Vegas and rub the top of her head for good luck...

Nah.

Anyhow, as for arguing with your three year old... don't do it. You are the law in your home and if he argues with you just tell him that this is the way it has to be. Turn off the game, take the controller and if he won't be reasonable. Stick him in his bed for a nap letting him know that you understand he's angry but playing video-games for more than x minutes or hours (whatever you decide), isn't good and he needs to find something else to do now.

Do not negotiate with three year old holy terrors. I give my daughter three options if she starts giving me grief. I tell her, "You can color a printout, you can play with (whatever) or you can take a nap. You pick, if you do not pick you will be taking a nap."

If he can't be reasonable about it at all and his bad behavior continues despite knowing he's going to end up taking a lot of naps, put the video games up until he's four. We didn't really start letting our daughter play on the actual game systems until she was a bit over four years. At three the closest she got was her leapfrog system or helping daddy push the a button to jump when he was playing something. She had a lot less control over herself at three.

I have the same problem with my children. 4, 8 and 12. I had to resort to getting software so that my children would stay away from the computer. I don't know if your child is having problems with video games on xbox or playstation or on the computer. I simply took the xbox out of my children's rooms and they stopped complaining after a few days. The best and easiest solution for the computer problem was a simple software program that I downloaded that sets a time limit for computer use and then once the clock runs out the screen is locked and there is no way they can get back in without you entering a code. I tried a program that was impossible to figure out and then finally found a much better and super simple one. The best part is it is only 10.00 and I have used it every single day for months now. So if is computer games you are having a problem with try it...I'm sure it will help. The company is called TheGamelock.com. I spoke to the gentlemen who developed it in response to his own children's problem and he was the nicest guy. All I know now is as we speak my kids are in the pool laughing and excercising instead of in the house in front of the computer or xbox. good luck

we offer choices (see Parenting with Love and Logic Magic for 6 and under). In this situation, "Baby, it's time to do X. You can turn it off or lose it for a week. Which one do you want?" They make the decision so they're totally responsible. And if they make a bad choice, well, it's better they make bad choices and suffer the consequences as a young's than a teenager or adult when the consequences are much bigger.

No compromises. Consistency, otherwise you will confuse the heck out of them.

Additionally, we allow the children one hour of screen time (read: TV, computer, or video game) per day once their chores are done. When the timer goes off it's turned off. A normal 3-4 year old is capable of clothing themselves, helping with the dishes, laundry, trash.....small things that make them feel big. If they choose not to be responsible, they don't get privileges. And when the timer goes off, they are done, no whining, no questions asked, no compromise.

Things to consider: his age. He's incredibly young to be interacting with a video game system whether its's Xbox or Vtech. Given my experience with ADHD, I would highly recommend you put it away until he's older and much more developed. His little brain isn't made to handle the kind of stimulation that accompanies such devices. They have determined (per Dr. Daniel Amen and several books from Drs Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey) that an ADHD brain is actually smaller than a normal one. No one wants their child to have a smaller brain than normal.... You may want to speak with your pediatrician on these matters to determine what you think is age appropriateness. My suggestion would be that your son's behavior has exhibited he can't handle it and it would be best to put the issue to bed by simply removing the system until he's old enough to be responsible and obedient with it.

Good luck!

It has absolutely nothing to do with him not liking you... that is the only way he knows how to express this feelings. My 3 year old son tells me "I'm very mad at you, Mama" or "I just don't like you" on a daily basis because he's been told no about something.

He really likes to play PBS Kids on the computer. Sometimes he gets to, sometimes he doesn't. The fit lasts five minutes, maybe because no one pays the slightest bit of attention to it. We're also usually ready to do the next thing & that sparks his interest.

Actually, I take it as a compliment... if I am ticking him off that means I am setting boundaries & limits which ALL kids need.

Stick to your guns!! He'll get over it & soon enough will be showering you with hugs!!

Make it a rule. 1/2 an hour at a time, no more than an hour a day. End of story. Let him pitch his fits, he will learn it does him no good.

We've had to go through this (and occasionally still have the fits) since our kids were his age. They get it after a while. Some is okay. Too much is not.

we just take it away. Our daughter has a leapster, which she mostly plays in the car.

If it's making him tell you he doesnt like you anymore it's time to take it away for awhile. I would impliment a timer system, where it buzzes when it's time to turn it off. That's worked well with stuff for us.

we do some computer games, but it is maybe 2x per week, for an hour or less usually. you will simply have to put your foot down. i would not even let him do it every day, then he gets used to not doing it. let him know ahead of time (kitchen timers are GREAT) that he will only be playing for a little while. then stick to it. it sounds like this is just a general "listening to mom" situation, as much as anything. he needs to figure out that you are in charge and no amount of tantrums will change your mind. be the boss. if he knows you mean business, those tantrums will not happen near as much, for near as long. (if he is refusing to even acknowledge you talking to him - get between him and the tv and demand it. that is a pet peeve of mine)

Remember, you are the parent. Box up the games and go back to your old routine. If he asks for the games, just tell him they are gone for now...end of explanation. When he is older and can understand that video games are a privilege and not a right, get them back out. To change a child's behavior, we as parents have to take away the thing or take the child out of the situation that is causing the bad behavior. Your son is three...he should have absolutely no say in this situation. You are in the drivers seat, Mama!

Tell him he is allowed 20 minutes of video games a day and that is it. NO BARGAINING. Set a timer up in front of him When it goes off he turns off the game. If he will not do this then he gets ZERO minutes of video games the next day. He will test you and will lose and will have a complete fit but after a while he'll learn you mean it and it will all go smoothly.

If your child likes video games it's actually a brilliant way to get them to do what they are supposed to. Bc if they do not do what you say by the count of 3 then no video games the next day. Stick to your guns!!

At this point I would just put the games away. One of my sons was 8 or 10 when he started playing video games and he actually became rude and belligerent after playing for a while, even though he's usually a quiet and gentle kid (well, he's nearly 22 now so not a kid). The video game went in my closet and was forgotten. At 3, your son may have trouble regulating his emotions, so I think you should put them away completely until he's a little older, and then give strict time limits on how long he can play. And if he's showing difficult behavior again, away they go.

if, at three he is already fighting you on this, it is clearly going to be an issue if you cannot put your foot down NOW. Make the access to video games contingent upon his good behavior. If, when he is on the games, he ignores you, take them away for one day. When he learns that he only gets video games on the basis of his consistent good behavior, before, during, and after
video games, he will learn. If you wait until he is old enough to access them in other ways, you will be out of luck. Although it hurts you when he says he does not like you anymore, this can also be a teaching opportunity. You can tell him that you love him, but you do not like the way he is behaving. This can teach him to separate behavior from the individual and help him understand that it is behavior he does not like - not the person so behaving.

when he asks to play games you give him a time limit up front and tell him if he argues then you will cut the time shorter. 3 years old I would say 45 minutes at a time is more than long enough. If he does argue with you then tell him next time he only gets 40 minutes.

You set us a schedule that he is to follow BEFORE he sits down to play. For example, our kids are 7 and 5 and when they ask if they can play Wii I say to them, first you have to make your bed, read a book, do math problems, do a puzzle, color, etc and then when you are finished you can play for 30 mins or an hour, whichever is best for us for that day. So for you, you sit him down tomm and say, "from now on there are going to be some rule changes and if you do not follow them, we will get rid of the video game....it will be donated to another family. Then, you decide your schedule. Maybe you can tell him that he has to color, do a puzzle, play outside for 30 mins, etc and then AFTER he does that, he can play his video game for 30 mins. if he does not follow the rules, he does not play AT ALL. As far as not wanting to go to bed, our kids are never allowed to play after dinner so they are not stimulated for bedtime. you get down on his level, look him in the eye, say what you have to say, then have him repeat what you said to make sure he understands. You make a 'deal' with him. Either he follows it, or it gets taken away. If he throws a fit, tell him you are going to walk away now until he thinks he can act like a big boy. Then leave the room. Good luck!