Waiting a Year to Start Kindergarten

Updated on February 13, 2010
J.M. asks from Kansas City, MO
66 answers

I have a 4 year old who will be turning 5 in June. I am thinking about holding her back a year because she will be the youngest in the class. My dh thinks we should go ahead and send her becauase her best friend is going and he's afraid she will feel left behind.

She is the baby, next year our oldest will be in 7th our middle in 5th and her in "K" (if I send her) so another concern is next year will be the only year she has an older sibling at the same school to kind of help her out.

I know it all depends on the child, she knows her letters, numbers can write her name but I really worry about her being the youngest in class. Any advise would be appreciated.

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J.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My birthday is mid-august and I was ALWAYS the youngest. It never hindered me socially or academically. I like to think I was popular and graduated college with honors. I would let her go especially if her bf is going! You'll do what's right in the end - us moms usually do! Best wishes!

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I dont know if they still do this but dont they do testing for children of birthdays on the border? My husband had to do it because his birthday is in July. My cousins child also had testing because her birthday is in June. If the testing says shes ready, then I would go ahead and send her. If the testing proves shes not ready then your reservations will be justified. I personally wouldnt hold her back.
Another point, my husband got out of school younger than most kids, and I feel like he had an advantage because of it. He has come a long way in life at a young age. He was able to go to college sooner, and start working sooner. He bought his first house at the age of 19. We are 26, have 2 beautiful babies, and a beautiful house.
Something to think about?

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K.S.

answers from Springfield on

I've always heard that it's a big mistake to hold back a child that is ready for school...and it sounds like yours is. I myself was the youngest in my grade (my birthday is in late August) and I had no problems with it whatsoever. I was a leader in my class and graduated in the top 8%. Everyone else drove way before I did, which did bug me, but even that was really no big deal. If you had specific concerns about her readiness, with a June birthday I don't think it would be any big deal to wait. I wouldn't hold her back, though, simply because she will be a few months younger than many of the other kids.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

First of all she will likely be ready if you send her now. Most kids do just great at that age. BUT...it's later that it really matters. Here's the difference....

My daughter that was 5 in May and started school in August turned 18 just a month before she graduated. She had enough respect for us to do as we wanted until she turned 18. But the moment she turned 18 she went a little wild. It made the last month of school dicey. But she came through it fine and she is now a great student in college, almost graduated from her junior college and ready to move onto the next level.

But then there's my August baby. She waited a year to start school. Well... She was 18 her whole senior year. She insisted on doing her own thing. She moved out, did well for a while. Then she got pregnant and is now back home and will have a baby tagging a long soon. She has managed to finish all her requirements for graduation early and will still walk this coming May. But now she's out of school this last semester and looking for a better job and thinking ahead to college in the fall and trying to make it all workout with a baby.

I honestly think that we have little or NO control over our children when the law says they can do pretty much anything they want from 17. But if we work hard enough we might be able to keep them in check til 18.

My youngest is 8 and also an August baby. She is home schooling and a year ahead of schedule so far. I plan on getting her through school and into junior college as early as possible. I am hoping that being exposed to college age kids at a time when I'm still driving her to and from and keeping her on a short leash will help get her through the difficult years a little better.

It's really up to you both. But I agree with your husband.

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C.P.

answers from Springfield on

My daughter turned 5 on July 29th and started school on August 25 and she is doing great! But she did have the advantage of going to Wonder Years (a pre-school program at her school). Go with your gut feeling and dont let anyone push you to do something you dont wanna do. But little girls always seem to adjust better than little boys so she might be just fine! Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Being "ready" for kindergarten means, quite simply, that YOUR child is able to learn what will be taught in the kindergarten SHE will attend, and can function comfortably with teachers and other kids in that setting, ie.. can she be part of a group and get along with others? Sometimes when we think of being ready for kindergarten our we focus to much on academics, and the skills that define readiness are far broader than numbers, letters and colors. To be ready for kindergarten your child should have a positive attitude toward starting school and some undersatanding of why she will be going there. She needs to be receptive to learning new things and making new friends. The best way to know what will be expected of her is to contact the school and find out. If there is a kindergarten readiness screening, take advantage of that. That will help you in your decision and provide infomation for your child to have the best possible start she can have. This is a hard decision, but YOU have to make it! You can listen to all the advice but ultimitaly its up to YOU!! Take advantage of screenings and kindergarten readiness activities to help. Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

if she is keeping up with learning then she is ready. If you hold her back then she will be more advanced and become very bored and some kids can actually not work as hard when they are bored and make bad grades if not challenged. I have 3 kids, 2 of them were the youngest in their class with August and June birthdays, my 3rd was born in January so is one of the oldest in his class. They all do very well in school, in fact the one born in August is 16 and a Junior this year, a very high achiever and taking 3 college level classes this year as well as other honor classes. He is even small for his age in size but does very well and doesn't let size or age bother him. My 13 yr old daughter is an 8th grader with her birthday in June. She also does well and had to catch up in kindergarten because she didn't want to do anything when she was 4 to learn but did know how to write her name, most of her letters, shapes, and colors. I talked to her teacher and she said to go ahead and she would be fine. She caught up within 2 weeks and did fine. We lived in a small town and she didn't have the opportunity to go to preschool but she did well and enjoyed going to school and making friends.
When my brother was little, he was very smart and got bored in class because he wasn't challenged enough so he started slacking off and not doing his work. Well one of his teachers recognized this and put him in advanced classes and he excelled and did great the rest of his years of school and got several scholarships for college. His birthday is in February so being the older ones in the class may not work out the best either. If your child is ready then go with it. I have noticed that parents aren't ready as much as the child is especially with the baby of the family.
My youngest has a birthday in January and is in 3rd grade, is one of the oldest in his class and as bright as my oldest son but he also gets bored but he knows that school is important and is part of life and he enjoys being at school with his friends.

Your daughter may feel left behind if she has a close friend going that is the same age. She will also feel more comfortable about going to school if she is comfortable around her friends. If you wait a year and she doesn't know anyone then it may be harder for her and think of her when she is in high school and graduating at 19. My niece really had a hard time graduating at 19. She did not enjoy her senior year at all and felt more mature than the other girls and really bothered her that she had to go everyday and put up with their immature attitudes but she plugged along until she got her diploma so please consider the whole picture of your child's future before you make that decision. My nephew was also held back because his mom didn't feel he was ready for kindergarten and now he is also struggling with being 18 as a junior and would rather drop out but we have to keep encouraging him to stick it out and complete high school.

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K.B.

answers from Austin on

My birthday was in June and I was among the youngest in the class but that didn't bother me one bit. If she already knows the alphabet and can write her name I'd say she's even going to be ahead of some of the other kids already. My daughter knew all that stuff and was way ahead of the curve even though she had a February birthday. I wouldn't worry about it being too early for her to start.

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V.Y.

answers from Wichita on

Your daughter sounds like she is ready for K. If she wasn't ready mentally or physically, I would say hold her back; but it sounds like you are the one that doesn't want her to go.

I know it is hard; but they all have to go to school eventually. You might be doing her more harm than good by holding her back.

Have courage.

V.

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M.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,

My daughter's birthday is June 22nd. She will be 5 too. My husband and I are planning on holding her until she is 6. I am still a little up in the air about it though. I just read all of the responses to your questions and to be honest I am second guessing our decision. I have talked to a couple teachers and they have told me that I am doing the right thing by keeping her. BUT the other day I had a pre-k teacher tell me that she is ready. We haven't done pre-school with her. I work with her at home but nothing detailed. She can write her name and several other words when I spell them out for her, she just counted to 100 today! Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this difficult decision. I still think we will keep her until she turns 6. My thoughts are that I would rather her be bored than for her to struggle in school. Best of luck!!!

M.

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D.V.

answers from St. Louis on

I also have a 4 year old (turns 5 on 6/23) that I considered holding back (she would have killed me!) for the same reason as yourself. She goes to preschool, knows all of her numbers, letters, colors, phone number, address, etc. I took her to our school district for her Kindergarten screening and expressed my concerns about starting her right after turning 5. The woman testing my daughter told me she (my daughter) was more than ready to start. I don't know if your child goes to preschool or not, but she told me, if you hold her back because of her age, she will be bored with another year of preschool because she knows all that. She's conquered it. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter's birthday is late July and there is no way I would have held her back. She's in 2nd grade now and has had no problems. You have to know your child and if she is ready to go, sit still and learn, and separate from you, then send her. They will 'test' her at most schools to see if she is ready also when you register your child. Call the school and talk to them if you still can't decide. She might be the 'youngest' but she would also be the 'oldest' in the next class and how will that affect her when she's older?

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C.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you had the school do an evaluation on her? Usually they do one on all kids going into kindergarten. They will be able to tell you if they think she is ready or not. Also, you can always send her and if she doesn't do well she can repeat kindergarten, lots of kids repeat kindergarten and its no big deal. But definately get her eval done and see what the teachers think.

Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

You have gotten plenty of feedback on this but I thought I would offer something no one has touched on yet. I agree the reason needs to be based on your child's social as well as developmental skills and that's it. However, if you think down the road, my mother always said she never held us back because she new it would be a fight that senior year of high school when she had an 18 year old telling her they were an adult and didn't have to listen to what she said. Now, I realize most kids turn 18 their senior year, but I think the point was that the later in the year they have their birthday the better. Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Of my 2 girls one was an older student (October BD) the second was a young student (June BD) they were 20 months apart. I felt that the second learned more because of the oldest. My kids did better when they were challenged at school instead of being bored, the daughter who was the youngest actually graduated 8th in her class.
My son is also older (August BD), the two that were older struggled with grades more than the young one and I felt it was because they weren't challenged as much in school and let other things occupy their minds.
My middle child also went to school with a girl who's mother kept her home for a year because she wanted her to be 'smarter' than the other kids and although she was a smart girl, her grades didn't always reflect that, her parents didn't challenge her by expecting only A's and B's. When she tried to attend college she also had to take remedial math to get up to speed with the college aged crowd.
So my advice is to send her she will stay challenged and not be bored and look for things to entertain her that might get her in trouble. Just make sure you challenge them by not accepting that they are average and C's are average, with work any child can get A's and B's.

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C.S.

answers from Topeka on

J.,
I have 2 daughters who are both young in their class. My older daughter is usually the youngest(18 Sept) because she started school where the cut-off was 31 October. I debated as well and decided to send her with the thought if she wasn't ready she could just "redo" kindergarten. Needless to say she didn't "redo". She's 6th grade now and has straight A's since 4th grade. She has never had any problems except when we first moved to Kansas when she was in 3rd grade and some kid made a comment that she shouldn't be in 3rd grade. Other than that she's been fine for 7 years in school. My other daughter is a July baby and in 2nd grade this year. She is at the top of her class and they have to find extra work for her to do because she gets bored with 2nd grade work. I guess what I'm saying is don't base your decision to send her to kindergarten soley on her birth date. Mine were both defintely ready for school. You know your child and where she is, go with that. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Topeka on

Hi J.! My advice would be to wait. I am the mom to six kids ages 20,16 1/2,16,14,10,and 6. All but one have summer birthdays, June July and August. The two children that were sent the minute they turned 5 have always struggled with keeping up with the other kids, especially in the department of maturity. I have even gone as far as asking the advice of the kindergarten teachers and they all recommend the child waits until they are a little older. There is SO much pressure to perform and the things that the kids are learning and the way they are learning them, is outrageous.
I have a fith grader who is the youngest in her class (10) and was one of the ones who started as soon as she turned five and she struggles with reading comprehension, writing complete sentences and the way that math is taught--long division one day geometry the next, algebra next, then simple word problems that my six yr. old can do-- she gets left behind. My 14 year old freshman is the same way, again he started K as soon as he turned five. A year in the life of a child makes a HUGE difference. I am very passionate about this becuase I have seen the difference in my own children and think they have enough to deal with these days, why push them to gain a year in school. I would put your daughter in a great preschool and let her learn her buns off, my last one did this and loved it and is now having a blast in kindergarten and is learning things so fast I am shocked. He is also very confident about his skills and the teacher loves his mature nature about learning and they are also graded on personal skills such as putting your own things away, buttoning clothes, tying shoes, respect of personal and others property. All of which come with that extra year. I hope I haven't put you off with my ranting! Good luck in whatever you decide, moms know best.
M.

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L.S.

answers from Kansas City on

It sounds like academically she is ready, but you have to trust your judgement to decide if she is emotionally ready. I have lots of examples of people (including myself) who were june babies and did great and I have no doubt you will hear from others who did not do so well. My daughter has a July birthday and she will start kindergarten in the fall. Like your daughter she can do her numbers, letters, basic spelling and she can read a bit. I know she is ready, because when I watch her interact with her peers she does not act like the youngest. Her best friends are already five and they play great together. My best friend in high school was a girl whose mother did hold her back, and my friend always hated being the oldest in her class. All her friends were in the class above her, which made her senior year really hard. Lots of anecdotal examples, good luck deciding what is right for your daughter!

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M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My sister was an August baby. My mom had reservations about sending her. My sis really struggled with school and in 2nd grade my parents made the decision to hold her back. It was devastating at the time. We lived in a small town so all the kids in her class knew she was held back. She perservered and is now getting her Masters in Early Childhoold Education and would tell you now that she appreciates that my parents made that difficult decision.

More recently a girlfriend of mine who has a son (I know boy's tend to mature a little more slowly, so apples to orange comparison, but) with a Sept. birthday and just turned 5 at the start of the school year. He's very smart, numbers, letter ect. but struggled socially, and with all the rules. She pulled him after a month.

I think it's hard to know what is the right thing to do. I think if you have any reservations you should talk to an educator and see what his or her experience/professional opinion is. Good Luck. My daughter has a June b-day so keep me posted as to what you do. (She's only 8 months, so we have a while =)

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My husband and I just debated this question for the last couple of months. It's a tough decision. Our daughter will be 5 on June 20. A very good friend of ours is a preschool teacher (not at the school my daughter attends) and she always recommends to the parents of her June and July kids that they wait another year. In her words she says if you want your child to be a leader socially, academically, and in sports, let them be one of the older ones in their class. The difference starts to show around 3rd and 4th grade. (She has also taught elementary grades). They may be completely ready academically but are they mature enough? She, of course, wants to see them succeed, excel in leadership skills and doesn't want to see the younger kids be followers.
But I have also heard that if you do hold them back and they aren't challenged and become bored that behavioral problems can develop.
Now with all of that said...we did go ahead and register our daughter for kindergarten this fall. We feel her need for a challenge and strong social skills will carry her through. Every child is different and this decision shouldn't be taken lightly. According to my friend there is a MO state law that you cannot hold back a child in K at the same school. You have to wait until 1st grade to repeat a grade. You could do K again at a different school. (I haven't verified that though)
Good luck with this tough decision - we debated it for a couple of months and were asking the opinions of almost everyone we know.

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think social emotional maturity is a big deciding factor. My son has a September birthday and is in kindergarten now. His sister is right behind him with a birthday in May. She will be in Kindergarten next year. My son is bright but social/emotionally immature.

Many people have indicated in their responses that the children will be bored. However, I have found in our school district they try to work with the children to their different levels of ability. In Kindergarten, schools are really pushing academics - reading, writing, journaling, math - graphs, addition,etc. However, they also work with those kids that may not know these things yet as well.

My son was bored the first couple of weeks of kindergarten when they were reviewing letters,numbers, etc. He was also bored last year in preschool. When they got into more challenging things in Kindergarten, like reading he was more interested. I volunteer a couple hours in the school so I know they also do some busy work with these kids. However, they are also expected to be able to complete a lot of tasks on their own. There are a lot of children who have a tough time with this. They have a high distraction level.

Overall, I think for my son socially emotionally being the oldest in the class is a good thing. I think he is less distracted and better able to work on his own because he is now somewhat more emotionally mature than last year. He still has his moments.

On the other hand his sister will be one of the younger ones in the class having a May birthday. At this point I have no reservations sending her since she is more mature. We will see how she does next year.

I would suggest going in and observing one of the Kindergarten classes. Talk to the teachers ask them what they look for for Kindergarten preparedness. If your daughter knows how to write her name than it seems like the fine motor skills are not an issue. If you are thinking of waiting another year ask the teachers how they stimulate those children who may be more advanced. If your daughter knows her letters, numbers, can write her name, has a willingness to learn, and is emotionally mature for her 4 1/2 years I think she will do well. If for some reason you think she is struggling with pre-Kindergarten concepts or lacks social/emotional maturity than I would consider waiting a year. Of course social/emotional maturity at kindergarten level looks different than it does for older kids. Kindergarten teachers expect this.

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G.N.

answers from St. Louis on

How much older are the other kids? If she will be 5 in June, she will be 5 at the start of school in Sept right. I say send her, she may just amaze you. Isnt that the age they start kindergaren at 5 and wouldnt she start in September?

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T.A.

answers from Wichita on

I was a June birthday and graduated in the top 10% of my class. I was/am very tall, so it was fine that I was one of the younger ones.

My son & daughter are both August babies. My daughter was very advanced academically, so we sent her to K one week after she turned 5. She is now in 3rd grade and is doing great. She reads at a 7th grade level and has all A's in her classes.

Our son will turn 5 this August. We have sent him to Pre-K like our daughter. At this point we are not sure if we will send him or not. We have enrolled him in both K and Pre-K classes to make sure he has a spot. His K readiness evaluation at the end of March and we are waiting to find out the results of that to decide what to do.

Your daughter seems more than ready academically, you will have to decide if she is ready socially and emotionally, but don't let just that fact that she will be younger than most of her classmates be the deciding factor. It depends on the child. Girls tend to mature faster than boys. Have you had her evaluated for K readiness? That may help you with your decision.

I would suggest enrolling her in K, but you can still wait to make your decision on whether or not to send her. Children can do A LOT of changing and growing up in just a few short months. Even if you don't feel she's ready now, she may be by August. Bottom line, you can always have her repeat K or pull her out and try again next year if she isn't ready. But it's nearly impossible to move her up if you end up regretting holding her back.

Good luck! I know it's a tough decision.

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V.T.

answers from Kansas City on

My son turned 5 at the end of August and I wanted to put him in K but my husband talked me into waiting a year. The principal and pre-K teacher said he was ready for K in every way but they also agreed with my husband that waiting the extra year is better for boys because they get an extra year of practice in sports. My youngest son will be 5 this coming fall and we will wait a year with him also, but we both agree that if we had girls they would have started around their 5th birthday instead of their 6th. Girls typically are ready faster than boys on the emotional and mental level. One of the biggest factors to consider is whether she has had any preschool experience. If she has then I would definately let her start Kindergarten. If she hasn't then I would put her in a preschool to see how she does with the classroom structure. Whatever decision you make, don't ever second guess yourself because neither one of them are wrong!

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,

It looks like you've already got a lot of great thoughts. I think I may have everyone beat though. :) Our son's birthday is AUGUST 29th and we started him. Technically he was just 4 for a week or two when he started school. In hindsight, I may have held him BUT he did absolutely fine! As a matter of fact when he started 6th grade we put both kids in a small private school where they typically teach a full grade level above the public schools and he did just fine. Any difficulties I can now honestly say were teacher issues, not his ability. I can honestly say the only real problem we ever had is when all his friends were driving before he was. One of his best friends in his class shared their birthday but the other boy was a full year older than our son.

On the other hand out daughter's birthday was October 1st and had to wait that full year. I even called the Olathe district offices and asked about some kind of assessment tests and was told she wasn't 5 by August 31st, too bad. So she is one of the oldest in her class. So no only is she a mature, independent 14 year old, but sometimes seems much more focused and mature than her other 8th grade buddies.

Bottom line is you have to make the best decision for you and your family and don't look back.

Good Luck,

Lori K

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T.F.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi!! I to struggled with this decision last year. My daughter is the youngest in her kindergarten class. My daughter turned 5 on July 29th, 2 days before the cut off. We had a friend whose daughter turned 5 a week later and didn't make the cut off so she doesn't start kindergarten till next year. I was so nervous about sending her to kindergarten fearing she would fall behind. She barely knew her numbers and could only recite the alphabet. She only knew how to write her first name but it was really messy. She was never in daycare. But after talking to her parents as teachers advisor and taking the parents as teachers pre-k test I found she was ready. It was the best thing I did. She is learning so much and doing great in school!! I feel she has really matured alot.
Sounds like your daughter might be ready for kindergarten. It might help alot having another sibling there in the same school. It is a tough decision for parents because with me I didn't want to let her go (she is my first). But I knew she was ready and could handle it!! You might try contacting Parents as Teachers in your area and talking to them. I know I received a kindergarten ready check list of things kids need to know before they enter kindergarten. This helped me make the decision to send my daughter. I hope this helps!! Good luck in your decision!!

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I stressed over this for a while my self. my son turned 5 in Aug. we ended up putting him in the pre-k program. he did do the 4 year old preschool the year before. It depends on each child. I am so happy we waited a year. I dont know where in KS you can send your child to school at 4. and I DO NOT understand what Angie is saying about the msg you will be giving your child.What? that you care? do what you feel is right with your child. My son also had many of his friends move on to school and was confused at first but has made tons of new friends who are his age that are in the pre k program. you will make the right choice!! good luck!

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J.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Personally I'd get her tested and if they say she's ready I'd send her. I SAY that, is that what I'd actually with my own son?? I cant say for sure, I'd probably be on here asking for advice like you! haha... Its hard to step into the next thing with your baby! I can tell you that I was also "the youngest" in my class and I graduated high school when I was 17 infact, but I don't think it ever mattered. I obviously don;t recall kindergarten that well, but I wasn't ever bothered by being younger than everyone throughout school, it just never seemed to be an issue. SO, I guess it shoudl depend on your daughter's maturity level at the time she will be going too school, and if she is ready according to the school district. I've heard Mom's say its better to hold a kid back, but at this point I don;t agree strongly with any of the arguements, I think kids adapt, especially with plenty of peers around.

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D.A.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter will be one of the youngest also. Her birthday is at the end of June, and her K starts mid-July. Our neighbor has a birthday at the beginning of Aug, so she is almost an entire year older than my daughter, yet they will be in the same grade. I struggle also, but I'm sending her anyway. She may be young, but I know she'll do fine. She's social and knows what she needs to for school. She may just have to grow up a little more quickly than some.

If she DOES struggle through K, she can always repeat it. There are no social stigmas attached at that age unless the adults make a big deal out of it.

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V.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I have had lots of friends that have wrestled with the same issue, but most of them were parents of boys. My advice would be to not worry about her being the youngest, but instead, focus on whether she is ready. Some "older" kindergarteners might not be as ready as she is or vice verso. If you have a parent educator through parents as teachers, they can do an assessment for you. If you don't, you could contact them, and I'm sure they could help you out. Also, I would contact the school she will be attending, and voice your concerns to the counselor. They will do a kindergarten assessment on her, and they can let you know if she is or is not ready. Part of being ready is being able to sit and learn, and part of being ready is just having social skills to interact with peers. If she is in preschool, talk to her teachers and get their opinions as they have seen her in action with other kids. Also, if she's been in a sunday school or other type of
activity without you, check with them. Another idea would be to try out summer school, if your district offers it, and then ask the teacher if she feels she is ready to begin
in the fall or if she should wait a year.
Good luck.

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F.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a daughter that is in kindergarten this year, her birthday is july 1st. She is the youngest in her class. She is doing wonderfully. She has had straight s's(a)all year. She has not had any problems at all with keeping up with the rest of her class she is actually able to help some of the other kids, that are older than she is with there comprehension of the work. I am very happy that we put her in school this year.

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J.B.

answers from Wichita on

Absolutely keep her behind, that is actually pretty young to be going in. There is nothing worse than having your child go thru the humiliation of being held back a year once they were started too early. This has happened to two ladies I know from school, and it was so painful for them, one was held back in 3rd grade, the other in 1st. It's hard and complicated in other ways too. Like scouts, once held back, goes to a younger den, and on basketball team, goes in another league or age group. SAVE HER AND YOU!! Don't be in a big hurry.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

OK, well I'm 52 years old (and have a 2 yr old). I was a year ahead in school. I was born in February, and entered kindergarten at age 4.5. It was no big deal. I think as long as she is mentally able and ready, why not?? The only time I knew there was a difference was when I wanted to start wearing a bra & pantyhose (and I didn't really need them) and when I got my driver's license. Otherwise, no difference. If anything, I was viewed as the smart kid because I was able to do what kids normally did a year later. IF YOU DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT, YOUR CHILD WON'T.

J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

If you wait, then she'll be the oldest. Not sure that is better either. If she's ready, she should go, regardless of her age. Someone is always the youngest/oldest.

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S.D.

answers from St. Louis on

I was a teacher in may past life, aka before I had my son, and maturity is one of the biggest reasons we would hold students back from continuing on to first grade. If she is emotionally prepared and has the background knowledge there's no reason her age should be a factor. I am not trying to sound harsh it is just that it sounds like she's "the baby in the family" and that's the biggest reason. My husband was the youngest of 580 students, in his class, and he graduated Valedictorian. Happiness!

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M.T.

answers from Springfield on

They make the cut off dates for a reason and since her birthday falls before the cut off date I think you should enroll her in kindergarten. My birthday is August 16th and I started when I was 5 and graduated HS on the honor roll. I think she would feel left out if her best friend started without her. My brother and sister's birthdays are all within 9 days of mine and we all started at 5 and all excelled in school. My brothers first full time job out of college was with NASA. I wouldn't suggest holding her back. I understand you wanting to keep her your baby as long as you can but it's time to let her go. Good luck.

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C.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi J., My birthday is in July and I started Kindergarten when I was 5, I struggled my whole way through school. My parents regret sending me early. But there are plenty of success stories for children being youngest in their class. Base your decision on the maturity level of your daughter, you know her best. She is already doing well, by writing her name and knowing her letters. She could do great!

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I have a son who will be almost 6 when he starts Kindergarten he was ready last yr. but unable to attend due to the cut off,anyway it has helped him learn more the extra yr in preschool he will be a tad bit taller than the other kiddos but thats ok he has a tall daddy.We are now learning on recognizes simple words and he is eager to learn unsure if Kindergarten requires them to learn to read simple stories but I feel why not he is wanting to learn and the better off he will be.It is up to you does she want to go age really isn't an issue they start from 5-6 yrs of age depending on their birthday,what I have a hard time about is all day kindergarten there is no more half day and unsure if they will accept a child only half day.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

SEND HER TO SCHOOL!!!! It all evens out. Can you tell anyone in your other children's classes who is a couple of months younger or older! I started my daughter in kindergarten when she was four. She just graduated from college, you couldn't tell she was a year younger than anyone else! SEND HER, PLEASE! Think if the message you will be sending her.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is the youngest in her K class and she is doing fine. It might be good to send her since she will have a sibling also at the school, that way if she is scared they will be there to help her. If she has a friend going there also that will be good for her. I would rather her be the youngest than the oldest in her class.

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D.B.

answers from Columbia on

My youngest daughter, now 27, turned 5 in July. We were encouraged to hold her out a year, but she had gone to preschool and wanted to go with all her friends! We sent her and never regretted it for a minute. She never fell behind, went to college, and is now a flight nurse for Air Evac lifeteam.

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H.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello, I have been a kdg. teacher for 11 years. I wouldn't worry about your friend's child or your older child to help them out. Five year olds are very capable of navigating a school and the teacher and other staff are trained to help kdg. students. She may not be the youngest because the cut off is the end of July. She may be bored if she waits a year since she already knows some things. Your school probably has Kdg. registration coming up where they test the kiddos and then give you feedback on what their score was and what they observed. This may be good feedback as well. I also have a boy born the end of June. I really thought the entre time I would hold him back due to his age. But once i got that out of my mind and looked objectively at his needs, I realized he really does need to go in order to continue his learning and social growth. Ultimately though youhave to be comfortable with your decision. But I wouldn't let age be the determining factor since so many other things play a role also.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I also considered holding my son back, he's an April Bday, but the reason was were his social skills. He was very immature socially, extremely shy, and his verbal skills were a little behind. We sent him anyway, knowing if was not going to work for him, we could always take him out in a few weeks. I am so glad I sent him to K. He adjusted so well, and loves it. even though your youngest seems young for K now, think what would it be like in the middle of the school year. Can you imagine her being in a pre-K class? Kindergarten is such a huge step, such a huge milestone, after a month of puttingher in, you'll notice the change and be glad you put her in. Don't hold her back becasue of your fears, she'll adjust and be happy to go to school with her friend.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow! You have a lot of responses here! I'll make mine quick. A teacher once told me that girls are often more advanced (and mature) than boys, so if they are the youngest in the class, it's usually not a bad thing. My daughter will be young also (July 15 bday), but after hearing this, I am not as concerned. And my son will be one of the oldest in his class (Aug 13 bday), which I am also ok with. Best of luck! -A.

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C.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I have seen and heard both on this. Personally, if you her best friend is the only reason you are wanting to send her, then I would hold off. Now if you think she is ready and would do fine, then send her. Do not use friends as the main reason. Children make friends in school no matter their age and no matter who is in the neighborhood/childcare they play with.

I actually welcomed the change when this happened to my son and his best friend, as the friend was a distraction to my son, all they wanted to do was play, because their friendship was not built on a school structure. Ours actually happened like this: The friend started a year ahead, was held back after two years, so then they were in class together for two more years and then we moved and it separated them for two years, and now the boys are back together in middle school and getting ready to part to different high schools this coming fall and I can not be more happy. I love this friend, but when the boys are together, it is play time, even at 14...

Also note, that unless your children are super close, I would not worry about them being in school together, as as they get older, they will just ignore each other while at school.

Do what is best for your daughter academically and you will have made the right choice.

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G.M.

answers from Lexington on

There are a lot of arguments from both sides (advocates of earlier or later admission). No one should forget, that parental care, especially in early years of young human, is something that could not be overestimated. It is not only the matter of education, but also emotional development of child.

www.kindergarten-duesseldorf.de

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K.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I have two May birthday girls, so I feel your pain. The answer is....it totally depends on the kid. My first one did great, no problems. My second one, whom I sent without thinking about it because my first one did so well, could have absolutely used another year. She's doing okay, but it's harder for her. One consideration is that if your daughter plans to do sports and you hold her back, she may not get to play with the kids in her grade. She'll be too old to be on many of their teams. This has happened to one of my friends' daughters. She'll have to play on teams with kids in the grade ahead of her. Just follow your best judgment, and your daughter will be fine.

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L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

From what you've told me she can do academically, she is more than ready for Kindergarten. I too was the youngest in my class and it didn't affect me in the least. If her BFF is going and a sibling will be at the same school then I think she will resent you if you make her wait, because her BFF will quite quickly no longer be her BFF because she will be in another "younger" class, which I think will end up doing more harm than good to her psychologically.

My vote is SEND HER. Besides, you can always pull her out if she isn't ready...moving her up...well, that's an atrocious nightmare in ANY school district.

Seriously, is this about her being the youngest or about you losing your baby to the school system finally? If it's the later, volunteer at the school or enjoy your time at home until the kids get home. But I think holding her back just because she'll be the youngest isn't cause enough. SOMEONE has to be the youngest...so what if it's your daughter? It sounds like she can handle it.

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S.N.

answers from Kansas City on

We are in the Olathe district and my son is in Kindergarten this year. The principal at our school they want all kids who turn 5 before August 31st. They say everyone is at different levels and that's okay. Also, as she has older siblings, I bet she is ready. I would send her.

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter started K when she was almost 6 due to her late birthday. She was BORED when she started school because she was so advanced than the younger kids. My son went to school as one of the youngest and he did awesome. Never bored like his sister was.

I would send your child and not hold them back.

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My youngest turned 5 on June 30th and she started Kindergarten that year and she did fine. She wasn't the youngest by far. There were others who had July birthdays and others with June birthdays. She did fine. If she is ready to go then send her. Is she in preschool? If she is then they are preparing her for Kindergarten. The date of her birth does not necessarily indicate whether she is ready for school or not. Give her the chance, she may surprise you. Good luck and God Bless.

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D.M.

answers from St. Louis on

From what you have said, it sounds like your daughter is already ready to go to kindergarten. They will test her to make sure. If she is ready, I would send her. Girls also mature faster than boys, so although she may be one of the younger ones, she will not really seem like one of the younger ones. Personally, I would send her. It is up to you though. My son, is one of the youngest in his class (end of May birthday), but has always done well and got straight A+ on his 2nd grade report card. Are you sure that you are just not wanting to keep her home for yourself, since she is your baby? I know it is tough to let go, but they do grow up and you do not want her to be bored in school if you wait until she is way past being ready. Good luck with your decision.

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

How do you know she will be the youngest in the class? Children can turn five much up until atleast the end of the summer. I was the youngest, My birthday was is September 5, we began school that year when I was four for a few days. My best friend (still is) began with me and her birthday is Sept 27 and another girl began with us whose birthday was in Oct. We had to take a test to make sure we were ready and this was 30 years ago. We never felt any different for being younger, know one even knew. We didn't hide it, it just never came up and was never an issue. We know that children are so differently developed. The youngest child may be the most emotionally mature kid in the class. The month the child turns five doesn't even factor in. I am getting my degree in education, majoring in early ed (prek-3rd) and we've learned that children begin kindergarten in many different stages of development, both emotionally and with what they have already learned. Part of the teachers job is to bring the kids all up to the same level while teaching them all.

Is it also possible that your feelings of being nervous is to let you baby go?It is scary, I know I will have issues when my youngest goes on to school, I don't even want to think about it, lol. I was also terrified to release my middle child, who has cerebral palsy, amongst all the other kids and teacher and just hope they treat her well. Knowing the environment that she will be in is helpful. And it would help you make a decision. Call the school and ask to meet with the kindergarten teacher/s. You can also request to do an observation. I have done many of them and the teachers act as if they are pros at it. Just let them know you aren't interested in judging them, just want to get a feel as to what the kindergarten environment is like, particularly how the kids relate to each other. Also, ask your son what he thinks. He's been there, done that. Ask him if age is ever an issue for any of the kids in his class. Kids are a wonderful resource. Good luck

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

If you could see that there really are kids who don't know their colors when they start kidegarten. That's why they have to start with "red" Apple for A. Some of these kids that are writing words - they know how to write their letters. Imagine them doing "red" Apple. I would start them now.

L. B

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

I, personally, would keep her home as long as possible. There is so much emphasis on academics in kindergarten now. Children this age are not developmentally ready for such an academic curriculum, IMHO.

K.

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R.Y.

answers from Wichita on

My daughter's bday is aug 25 the cut off is sept 1, and school starts mid aug. so last year she started Kind at 4 as the absolute youngest in her class. her best friend's bday is in june. What I discovered was that she is in the middle of her class, she was already beginning sight reading before school started. I know that if we waited till this year to start she would be bored to tears and possibly causing problems. The other side of this decision was that this would put a year between her and the youngest. My oldest 2 are back to back in school and the June birthday (youngest in her class)15 y/o is a year ahead of the 17 y/o oct birthday(one of the oldest in her class). Your decision should be by how competent the child is. Seriously the kids don't notice in the early years that this kid is older than that one. We do have to make sure invitations for parties say "you're invited to my __th birthday.
Basically my philosophy is if the kid is ready send them, you can always hold back in Kind (if you have the same doubt at the end of Kind, hold back then, do not wait until she is older) but you cant move forward easily. She won't notice that she is young. Good Luck

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

You are correct that it is totally up to you and how you think your child will do. We have a son that turned 5 last July and we sent him to Kindergarten this past fall. He is actually doing fantastic and is reading at a 3rd grade level. We were concerned that he already knew so much that he would be bored if we kept him in Pre-k again (something else to consider). Just depends... good luck on the decision.

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F.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I was the youngest in my class. I am sure I didn't know all the stuff that you mentioned since my mother had the TV babysit me. But, I did great. I was actually advanced. I would send the child unless you thinksocially she can't bear to be away from you. The best friend will be there. So I think sending her is the best advice.

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D.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't hold her back! You'll be amazed at the progress she'll make within the first month of school! Socially, it's the boys who are usually 'not ready' for Kindergarten, but sometimes, little girls have a lot of maturing to do as well. This is completely normal. I taught elementary school music for 18 years and saw this dilemma many times. I also have an almost 5 yr old who will start Kindergarten next fall. He's not as academically ready as your daughter is, but he's ready to be with his big brother at 'the big school'. Having a sibling there will definitely help your daughter's transition to school. Your concerns are not unwarranted---most parents worry how their little one will ever succeed in a classroom situation. It may be a little "hairy" in the first few weeks, but I feel confident that your child IS ready to start next fall. Those social skills and good habits will only be harder to master the older she gets.

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M.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Use your school district as a resource. Call Parents As Teachers and try and have her evaluated, see if they feel she is ready. Call your school and see if they do any type of evaluations or screenings - a lot do. You might also ask your pediatrician at her wellness checkup. You are right that every child is different, but I would not keep my back if the professionals didn't see a need to.

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M.W.

answers from Wichita on

My son was the youngest in his class when he started in "K" and his birthday is the last week in August. I am glad that I did, now 7 and in the 2nd they are required to read 45 words per minute he reads 75 and loved to read every chance he gets. Your call and you know what your child can do even being the youngest. Ask yourself "What affect will it have later on if I decide to hold her back." Good or Bad!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning J., Plz don't hold her back. Little kids adapted better then adults do, especially little girls. One of our Gr son's Austin was the youngest in his class he did great and he didn't know as much as your little girl when he started either. He is in 3rd gr and still the youngest in his class.

It's you hon that is wanting to keep her close because of your concerns or fears. You gotta let them use their wings J.. She will always be your baby J. no matter her age. But right now you need to let her grow up a little and be with those her age. She will do awesome because of what you have taught her already!!

God Bless you, wing spreading time.
K. Nana of 5

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S.V.

answers from St. Louis on

If I was you, I would go ahead and send her to school. If she is behind (which I doubt she will get behind just because she is the youngest), but if she does get behind you can always hold her back a year if she needs it. I'm sure she will be fine.

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K.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Because children mature at different rates, and girls often mature faster than boys, I would not worry that she will be some weeks and/or months younger than the rest. You know your daughter and it is up to you to determine her level of maturity. If she really is ready to move along and can handle a kindergarten curriculum, then holding her back now could create the opposite problem for her next year when she would be the oldest in the class.

My son was not the oldest in his kindergarten class, but he was unusually mature emotionally. At the end of the year the teacher admitted to me that she took advantage of his maturity by allowing the most problematic child in the class to always sit next to my son. She did this because my son knew how to best respond to that child's needs and it made her day easier. The class was too large and I understood why she took advantage, but it really was stressful for my son and it affected how he developed social relationships. He sort of became a counselor for all of his friends and often took on more than his share of responsibilities. He turned out to be a wonderful young man, nonetheless!

Also, keep in mind that putting off kindergarten means putting off college. For some kids this is a blessing and for others a curse. Again, it completely depends on the maturity of the child.

This is one of those situations where you cannot predict exactly what is going to happen. But, one thing I do know is that it is important for you to be both observant and confident. I was very nervous about sending my son to kindergarten. I felt he was sitting next to the problem child too often, but didn't feel I should complain. The teacher did not admit the situation to me until the last day of school, when I could do nothing about it. Looking back, I should have brought it up at the parent/teacher conferences so we could consider better solutions. In that situation, I lacked confidence. I have learned that most teachers appreciate the chance to discuss such issues with parents who approach them respectfully.

Just keep in mind that most issues are solvable and that both parents and teachers tend to feel a bit intimidated by each other. I love the kindergarten teacher who would start off her first meeting with parents by saying, "I'll agree to not automatically believe everything your child tells me about you if you will agree to not automatically believe everything your child tells you about me." It really helps to build a cooperative working relationship with your child's teacher. Some parents are too shy and some too demanding.

So, no one can tell you what is best for your child. When I had to make tough decisions like this, I made them best when I stopped over-thinking the whole thing, prayed until I felt finished praying about it, and then trusted the instincts of the better angels within myself. Something my OB-GYN told me the day after my son was born. She said, "Just remember, they don't grow up because of you. They grow up in spite of you!"

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C.M.

answers from Wichita on

When I went to kindergarten I was younger than everyone in my class. I loved it, though. I don't think there's a problem with sending kids a little earlier.

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S.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi J., My daughter is the youngest in her class, her birthday is July 25th. We had the same concerns as you, we talked to our doctor, talked to her pre-school teacher and talked to our Parents as Teachers lady and the people who evaluate for kindergarten. They were all sure she would do fine and she has. As long as they are able to sit and listen (and doing it in a room full of other kids who are doing it is diffrent than at home) then they should be fine. My daughter is not only keeping up with all the other kids but is doing better than many of the others. So we worried for nothing. The only problem that we can really see is that my little girl could still use a nap everyday and even though they do take a rest it's not enough for her and she's really tired and ready for bed early each day. So I would say if she is in pre-school talk to her pre-school teacher to see how they think she is doing and if she can handle kindergarten. If she isn't in pre-school it may be worth it to put her in for a while so she can practice going to school. Let the teachers know that you are trying to decide if you should wait a year or not. But keep this in mind, my oldest daughter is the oldest child in her class, she was board to tears in kindergarten and the teacher was always having to find busy work for her. This year is better but she is still oftten board and she thinks half the class acts like babies. So you will have your issues no matter what. Good luck!

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