Waking Baby

Hi J.,
I think that you are doing the right thing by soothing him and giving him a bottle to go back to bed. I myself never bottle fed my two boys. I breastfed and they did wake up at night to nurse and got back to sleep. This is very normal and you can't expect your son to be like others that sleep through the night. At least he is sleeping 8-9 hours and only wakes up once and goes back to bed. I don't agree with the cry it out system. It's like letting you cry it out when you need help and no one comes to help you. It's frustrating, and can you imagine a baby who doesn't understand feelings and why mommy has not come to get him. It's a tough decision and you have to go with YOUR instincts, not what other books tell you, specially the cry it out deal. Like I said you are already doing good. He's only 3 months old, not a toddler of 2 years old doing this. Do what you feel is right and right for your baby.

If he continues to cry he is most likely really and truly hungry. Babies are supposed to eat every 3 hours (not sure exactly any more since my child is 3 and a half now, i forgot already, LOL). Keep in mind his last feedings before you put him down at night, is he drinking a full bottle and is the amount consistant, or is he falling asleep before finishing his bottle? Maybe he is not finishing the bottle and he is waking up because he is hungry. On those nights he is sleeping straight through maybe he is finishing the whole bottle? Keep in mind also if he really stuck to an eating schedule that day and if he in fact finished the bottles that makes a difference. He is only 3 months so his sleeping through the night 3 or 4 times a week is a blessing. I know its hard when it is your first child because you don't have any other past experience to compare him to in order to say to yourself, "this is normal." I don't agree with letting him cry it out, especially since he is so little. Imagine letting him cry out hunger pangs? Hope this advice helps a little. Have fun being a mommy and congrats on your new bundle of joy!! :)

The answer is,(Never) You don't let him cry it out.The time to take action,and break this pattern? Do you mean,when can you stop feeding him? Never. If your putting your baby down as early as 7pm and he is waking between 2-4:30am He has gone 7 to 9 1/2 hours without a bottle. He needs to be fed. Your baby isn't getting solids yet. How long in your opinion should a few ounces of milk satisfy him? If you allowed him to cry it out,then you'd be ignoring a hungry babies cries.I would suggest putting him to bed a little later than 7pm and start him on a little oatmeal( real thin consistancy), before his last bottle. Good luck to you

Try keeping him up a little later. . . Don't put him to bed before 8:30 PM or 9.

I've never let either of my children "cry it out". Responding to their needs worked well for me and in doing so, both my children were sleeping through the night fully by 8 months with regular nap schedules which their own body clocks regulated themselves (only during times of illness or things such as teething, they would change for a few weeks but go back to before). My son (now 12) sleeps very well and also has very good self esteem.
According to Dr. Sears there are periods of light sleep where your child may stir every hour or so and if they're not hungry or uncomfortable, they usually will go back to sleep on their own. This was true for both my kids. Most recently with my daughter, I breast-fed (and still do at 17 months) she woke to eat until she started on solid foods. Afterwards, she has primarily slept through the night. If she did wake during the night afterwards, my husband would respond first. If she wasn't hungry, he could usually put her back to sleep with a few minutes of rocking. If she was hungry, I'd get up to feed her and rock her back to sleep. I did basically the same thing with my son except he was bottle fed. He has never relied on me to get him to sleep as a toddler or older child.
If they're hungry, that's when they fully wake up. If they start crying, you've gone past the point of uncomfortable to unbearable. At 3 to 5 months, your child should be eating about 5 to 6 times a day with formula and nighttime feedings don't usually go away until 5-6 months. There are books out there like Babywise and the Baby Whisperer that say otherwise but they go against all medical facts and are warned against using (and Babywise being a religious book, even goes against scripture, Google Babywise and Dangerous... no other baby books have these kinds of warnings!!)
There are alternatives out there. The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears, Focus on the Family has a book about sleep (if you're looking for a healthy religious alternative), even the American Academy of pediatrics has a book on healthy sleep.
These articles may also be of interest to you.
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/sleep.htm
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
http://www.nasponline.org/resources/health_wellness/sleep...
Trust your mother instincts though first and foremost, only you know what is best for YOUR child.

Congratulations on being a first-time mom...me too, but I've got quite a few years on you as I'm an older mom! Wow! I'm amazed that your 3-month old sleeps like this. My son will be 3 months next week and he nurses every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night (occassionally we'll get a blessed 5-hour stretch). I don't have him on a schedule, but nurse him based on his hunger (however, you could pretty much set your clock by him). Remember a 3-month old baby still has a pretty small stomach and he's growing at quite a pace (1/2 to 1 oz per day). I'd bet that he's waking because he's hungry. Think about it this way...If you put him to bed at around 7pm and he doesn't get up until 7am, that's 12-hours without eating! Also, children's feeding and sleeping needs will change depending upon their age and developmental needs. I'd discuss it with your pediatrician to get a medical perspective. Just my 2 cents...best wishes.

I would say definitely count your blessings. Everything I have heard and read says wait until 6 months to force them to cry it out at night because they are still waking up hungry at this point, their tummies aren't big enough yet! Some sleep great from early on and that is fantastic but I wouldn't force it. My son woke everything three hours for food until I sleep trained him at 6 months - not getting enough sleep is just part of parenthood I guess.

Babies get hungry and need to eat - it's not a bad habit - it's hunger!

If your baby isn't waking up to "play" at night, feed him! He's growing at such a rapid rate and on an all liquid diet his tummy is likely empty.

Your baby still needs to eat in the middle of the night at 3 months. It's a need still not a habit or a want. I was told by my doctor that 4 months is when they start getting enough food during the day that they can sleep through the night. That's when he started eating some solid foods too- though he didn't really eat solids until 6 months. Your baby is fine on the schedule that he is on.

Your baby might still need the middle of the night feeding. I know some babies wake in the night to eat until 9 months, but like you said it can become a habit. What you might want to do is give him a dreamfeed before you go to bed to see if that will keep him satisfied until he wakes up for the day. At least that way, you are in control of when he wakes up. I would continue to give the dreamfeed until he starts solids. I am actually struggling with the same thing, although my son is a month younger than yours and I know he is still in need of his nighttime feeding. When he turns 3 months, I am going to start putting him to bed earlier (around 7pm) and giving the dreamfeed and see how it goes. Best of luck!

Both of my kids nursed through the night and never needed to cry. At 3 months, they SHOULD be eating at night. In fact, as they hit growth spurts, they will be more hungry...even at night. It won't become a habit. I have two sons and both of them slept through the night at 16 months....but we had to feed them dinner at 6pm and then a snack at 7:30pm - and then put them to bed with full tummies at 7:30pm.

Sounds like your son is right on track, as he wakes up at the same time - when he's hungry and then goes back to sleep. He's only 3 months...and hungry. It's normal and natural.

PS Everything IS an experiment as a parent and no two chilren respond exactly the same.

Sounds like you have a good baby on your hands and him waking only once a night to feed is great. There is no rule for what age they should sleep through the night as every baby is different. Since your bottle feeding you could start making the bottles smaller every night or every few night to encourage him to sleep through. Make each bottle 1 oz smaller till they are only 1 oz and he will have been weaned down gradually. He may cry or fuss for some more but I wouldn't give in and give more. It's your parenting choice on letting him cry, personally I believe babies have to be able to soothe themselves to sleep and some crying might be neccassary for that, but 3 months is a little young for that. The books reccommends you start about 4 months. Good luck.

I started pretty much from day one. I got more strict about it around 2-3 months though. I always check and make sure nothing is wrong but when I am sure that it is just fussing and there is no pending danger I just ignore. Usually it only takes 15 mins if that.
My youngest was waking at 4am and finally I just did not respond. It took about 3 nights and then she just started sleeping through. Now she sleep from 7am - about 6:30am.
Good luck to you in what ever you do. No matter what your baby with be happy and healthy.

Your baby is doing well. Remember, a baby is going through a lot. They hit developmental changes and growth spurts (3 months is a growth spurt time & they tend to feed more at growth spurts), and their sleep habits may change. Sleep patterns are NOT static. Remember also, that "sleeping through the night" means that a baby sleeps at least 6 hours straight without waking. Your baby seems to do that. So great! Sleeping "through the night" is NOT according the the adult idea of it... a baby does not sleep like an adult. Even adults go through sleeping pattern changes... as an adult we don't have the same sleep cycle as when we were a baby, right? It changes as we get older.
The important thing is to have a sleep schedule and routine. And keep it the same. Babies/children learn by repetition. At 6 months old, this is another time when the sleeping patterns may change... they are going through different developmental abilities and crawling occurs and their level of awareness and cognition changes and teething too etc. Be prepared for all of these changes as your baby develops. It can impact their sleeping.
For me, my boy naps and sleeps at the same time everyday. He "knows" the routine. Babies need to know what to expect... thus, having a routine helps them to formulate their sense of their daily activities and sleep times. You as the Parent, need to "orientate" them to their life and schedule and sleeping.
A baby will wake...they are just a baby. But you can "help" by teaching them to self soothe and go back to sleep themselves. But every baby is different with different personalities. Some take to routine (like my son), some don't and need other ways of coping (that's how my daughter was). What may work for one, may not work for another baby. You need to try different approaches and see what is best for your baby. A good book is "Secrets of The Baby Whisperer- how to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby" by Tracy Hogg. I recommend it very much. You can find it anywhere or online.
My youngest, my son, went through different sleep pattern phases. Which is natural for a baby as they develop and hit different milestones. But, I always kept his sleep/nap times & routines the same early on. Read up on developmental milestones and see how your little one is changing and how their needs changes. When my son reached 6 months, he took to a stuffed cow that he still loves sleeping with, and a pacifier. Sometimes a "transition object" helps a baby to sleep and self soothe.
I know there are LOTS of different approaches. But your baby at this point seems to be sleeping fine... they do typically wake at the times that you mentioned. Then it may change later as the get older and develop. Keep that in mind. Waking only once, as your baby does, is pretty good. Each age is a transition for them too... imagine, they are still learning the ropes about our world. We need to "see" what the are going through.. .and also teach them about how to sleep. It's not always easy, but routine and consistency helps... with whatever method you choose.
Good luck and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Hi J.,
I think it's great that you are concerned w/ having your baby on a schedule & not forming bad habits. However, I really do think that at 3 months he's still needing to eat during the night. He really is doing FANTASTIC as it seems that most babies I know still eat every few hours at that age. Anyway, I'd say between 5-6 months is when your baby probably doesn't need that middle of the night bottle (assuming he's eating rice cereal before bed at this point). Good luck, sounds like you're doing great!

My first assumption would be that he is waking up because he is hungry. 12 hours is a long time for such a tiny tummy! I would continue to do just what you're doing for now - when he wakes up, try soothing him a little and tucking him back in, but if he doesn't go back to sleep fairly soon, then feed him. Once he starts sleeping through the night more consistently (with the night wakings being the exception rather than the rule), you can probably assume that he's ready to go all night without a feeding and react accordingly. Good luck!

Something that really helped us was the "Dream Feed" recommended in The Baby Whisperer books. Several of our friends did the same thing and had great success. Getting the baby on a routine was a huge help, and your baby is at the perfect age to start. The author, Tracy Hogg, really walks you through all sorts of situations that you may be facing. She was wonderful for us. Check it out! :-)

You're smart to think about the "habits" that mothers create for their babies! My son was about 4 months old, still waking up in the night but I realized that he wasn't hungry! (He was in a good mood too, just wanted to play). I never engaged him in play (in the middle of the night), put him in his swing, while I laid on the sofa, got him back to sleep, and put him back in the crib. The theory is, that if they're not getting the fun and games and/or food, then babies will put themselves back to sleep. Is there a binkie involved? A favorite sleeping position to roll him into without picking him up?

J., this may be hard to hear... you start to let them cry it out when you are ready to let them cry it out.

You've got to consider your ultimate goal. For me that was to teach my child to go to sleep and go back to sleep on her own. I started when I had the energy and my husband's cooperation. Easing her into it worked best for my situation. I'd go in and give her a little love. Slowly withdrawing the amount of attention given each night. We started with nursing, rocking and patting her back for a while and ended with picking her up, saying "I love you" then setting her back in bed.

What you do, how you do it and how quickly will depend on your family's needs and personalities. I wish you luck.

You don't ever need to let you son cry it out. Especially with a baby that young.
Your baby is waking up at night b/c he is hungry or he needs you. Crying is his way of telling you that he needs something. Sometimes its just him needing to hear Mommy's voice, and other times he may be hungry or have a dirty diaper. Don't ignore his cues, whatever you do. Or he will learn not to trust in you to tend to his needs.
read "The Baby Book," by Dr. William Sears.
It is a great book to have on hand, and a useful tool for information.

It is very appropriate and normal for a 3 month old to wake up once a night. Some babies still wake up every 2 hours -- I agree that you should count your blessings! My first daughter slept through the night at 2 months, the second one did not until about 15 months! I did not do anything different with either of them -- that was just the way they were.

I would never let a 3 month old "cry it out". He isn't doing this to try and bother you -- it is what babies do, and especially under 6 months of age is very normal.

Don't worry so much. It won't turn into a habit. The baby usually wakes up because he's hungry. Enjoy this time with him. All too soon he will be all grown up and you will wish for more time when he was this size. Give him a bottle and rock with him in your arms.

Before 6 months of age, you really don't need to worry about breaking any "patterns." Generally when children that young cry it is because of a ligitimate reason...hunger, gas pains, possible early-onset teething, etc. I do agree that at a certain point children need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep, but you've got a couple of months before you need to even think about that. Right now, it's okay, natural, and generally recommended that you respond to your baby's cries. The only pattern you are setting at this point is giving your child a much needed sense of security and confidence in a sometimes scary and overwhelming surrounding world... You're doing' great...keep it up.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but would like to ask how you have your son sleeping so well at night. I had my daughter December 3rd and she wakes every two hours to nurse. She won't take a bottle so no one else can help. I'm exhausted!!!

I got my son to sleep through the night by 5 and a half months. I read a lot of books and I thought anytime after 5 months is okay to let them cry it out. It also helps when they start eating solids. My son would do the same as yours. So at 5 and a half months I let him "cry it out". He cried for two hours the first night (HE was waking up at about 1 o'clock) I would go in every so often and check on him and pat him on hte back but not take him out of the crib. He finally fell asleep. The second night he only cried for about 45 minutes, and ever since then has sleeped through the night. He is 17 months now. I remember after that He would test it and you just have to do the same thing. HE is a really good sleeper now and I am really glad I did that. They cry longer and harder the older they get. I repeated this for nap time after He started sleeping through the night and it worked right away as well. Now I just lay Him down with His blanket, no reading, rocking or anything else. He wants to just be layed down and it is so nice and easy.

Well, 3 months is still really young. If he only wakes up once for a bottle, I think that is great. My baby was waking up every 3 hours to eat at that age.
I would suggest if he wakes up and you know he is not hungry, then let him cry for a few minutes and then go in there (don't take him out of the crib!) and rub his back or his head and let him know that you are there. Leave the room and repeat the process. After a few days you shouldn't have to go in there at all. Being that he is so young, I would think that he is waking up to feed.
My little girl was great at putting herself back to sleep until she go a terrible cold at the age of 5 months and couldn't fall asleep unless she was on my shoulder (her nose was so stuffy!)She had had 2 colds after that and I had the same problem. That set in motion a habit that I still have problems with. She's now 10 months and I have just now started to put her in her crib to "cry it out". I do go in there to lay her back down and tell her it is "night night time".
Eventually she get's sick of crying and falls asleep. (sometimes I am in and out of her room 5 or more times) It sucks, but you have to remember that it is the best thing for them to learn the skill of putting themselves back to sleep. It is a hard lesson I had to learn on my own. They won't remember these days anyway....I have to tell myself that everyday!
Good luck!

Have you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth? It's a great book and walks you through different sleep strategies for the appropriate age. Sounds like you're doing great.

Aloha J.,
Two books I found helpful and recommend to other moms/grandparents are: Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse and The 7 O'clock Bedtime by Inda Schaenen(looking ahead in age to potential sleep problems). The first book is most useful for baby care. I find many good values in books at borders.com.
I also diffuse therapeutic grade oils (especially the two blends "Peace and Calming' and "Gentle Baby") to help both mom and baby to sleep deeply and well (see website listed below)
Your little one may simply still need another feeding; babies stomachs are incredibly small at that age.Sometimes when infants are a little older, they can get into the habit of wanting that extra comfort but are not really hungry or wet; the sound sleep book might give you some valuable tips and perspectives, as you find your individual parenting needs and style.
Lullabies sung by you might soothe him easily back to sleep,if he is not hungry or has a soiled/ wet diaper:he has heard your voice for months in utero. singing nursery rhymes can also have a calming effect for all young children; there is magic in the rhythm of them (find ones you really like)
At 60, I find being a parent continues to be a learning experience and I still love it, esp the Nanna part. Wee ones grow so fast- savor the joy of each moment!
P.
http://P..younglivingworld.com

We let both of our children "cry it out" at 4 months. I did a very mild version that I read about in "Sleeping Through the Night". It worked within 3 nights, with both kids. Very fast and effective. My 2.5 year old now is a great self soother/sleeper. And my 10 month old has been sleeping through the night since 4 months. I feel it was the best gift I could give each of them (to train them to confidently sleep alone and be able to sooth themselves back to sleep when they wake during the night.)
Email me if you have any questions.

I personally believe that letting a 3 month old cry himself out is not appropriate for that age. He is too young for bad habits. Is he ready to go to sleep at 7:30 pm or could he stay awake a little longer so that he sleeps through the night?
When my daughter, who is now going on 13 years, occasionally woke up, I would just pick her up while standing next to her crib and gently rock her back and forth (usually just for a short while until I knew she was completely relaxed) and place her back into her crib, and I did not feed her. She didn't wake up every night, and when she did, at that age I felt she needed comforting only, not food.
If he is indeed hungry, although they don't usually recommend starting the baby cereals until at least 4 months old, you might ask your pediatrician if it is okay to add just a tiny amount of baby cereal to his diet. It sounds to me like you are doing the right things. Just remember that at this young age, babies aren't capable of creating bad habits, they just need you... And I know you will find the best way to meet his needs.

Dear J. - I would suggest slowly weaning him off of the nighttime bottle and making sure he gets enough calories during the day. When my son was this age we did 2 things. First we started adding 1tbl spoon of cereal(I suggest oatmeal) to his last bottle before bed secondly we started to decrease how much he got in the middle of the night bottle. What I mean by that is if he usually got 5oz we did that the for 3nights(if he woke up) next time he woke up after those 3nights he only got 4oz did that for 3nights and then took it down to 3oz, 2oz and 1oz and finally stopped giving the bottle at all and just did soothing. As soon as he figured out he wasn't going to get a bottle he stopped waking up and started taking more during the day to get what he needed.

If you have any questions let me know.
-K.

J.,

You are definately blessed with a good sleeping baby. At 3 months, some babies still wake up every 3 or 4 hours!

There are different thoughts on whether you should let your baby cry it out or not. I have never let my baby cry it out. I would never know if there is anything wrong with the baby or not. I get paranoid. What if he needs to burp? What if he's hurt somewhere? I think they are so innocent at 3 months.

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sometimes they don't sleep all night until they are 2! When he takes his last night bottle, does he go right to sleep? That may help. He may be growing and is hungry. He is too young to let him "cry" he is needing something. You usually don't do that until they are quite a bit older.

And a great experiment it is!

Your situation sounds like every mother's I've known.
The baby is hungry upon waking and the belly full of food puts them back to sleep. He's only 3 months old, he still needs to eat on-demand.
That's why so many moms (myself included) looked forward to their 5-6 month to start feeding them cereal, in order to keep their "tank" full for a while longer.

I am a sahm with a 4 and 2.5 year old; #3 is on the way!

Good luck