Want a Baby but Not Sure, Don't Know What to Do!!!!

Me personally, didn't want them close because I loved having a baby to love. That toddler will be jealous, and have the usual needs, as he is a baby himself still. Need friends? Get him into a moms morning out program. I read that 3 yrs is a perfect age dif. I will tell you that my first 2 are 31/2 apart and it was PERFECT! My daughter has 2 girls 3 yrs apart, and it has been ok, but not as good as the 31/2. I don't think there is a perfect time, I think it is you who must be comfortable. For some, 2 babies in diapers is a strain, for some, they prefer it. Some say, "I want to have them and get it over with". I wasn't one of those. So, weigh the pros and cons.

Ultimatly YOU have to decide, but I can tell you that my kids are 20 months apart and are very close. They play pretty well together, enjoy the same things mostly and don't remember ever not being together. There are pros and cons for both, but for me, them being closer together works. If there are too many years between them, they won't "enjoy" each other as much until they are much older. My sister and I are 16 months apart and still best friends 40 years later!!!

You don't need outsiders advice- you need to want another baby for you. If you know in your heart that a baby is what your family wants- then no time is better. If it's not the right time...wait. Your son can have his fullfillment of play time in parties, other family events or school. The fact that your debating, for whatever reason, you may want to put it off.

Honestly C., I would do it now. I have four kids and only one was somewhat planned. I've learned that there never is a "good time" personally. Theres always something. And like you said - if you wait, you might regret. Chances are, there might be something then too holding you back. Example - my last 2 are 14 mo. apart. So, my daughter was 5 mo. old, and I got pregnant again. I was devestated and upset the entire pregnancy. But it all worked out the way it was supposed to. They are the best of friends, and I'm so glad they are this far apart and have each other. Nine months + is not that long in the big scheme of things considering. Before you know it, you will be back on track with your career and glad you did it. Thats my opinion anyways. I hope you figure it out and it all works out for the best. Best of luck!

listen theres no right time anytime you have children theres going to be problems well my mom has 4 ther first three were 4.5 years apart each then when everone thought no more kids 13 years later after the younger one came another one and now i have a 22 month boy and 5months pregnant so not easy sorry couldnt really give any advice but thought i would share

I have three daughters. There are 28 months between the first and second and 5 years 10 months between the second and third. Both ways was difficult but manageable for me. I have never planned a baby so I'm not sure how to address this with you. I think you should wait if you are just starting your career. It may seem easy if you have two children close together, but it is hard no matter how far apart they are because it is more responsibility. Even if you wait until he is two and a half or three, they will still be in school together. I think you should follow your firts instincts on this one.

Is there any great time to have the next baby? Mine are 20 mos apart & the first 6 mos were hard. Terrible 2's, potty training and explosion in vocabulary for my oldest girl, but yet she seemed still very much a baby when her sister arrived. Now they play great together and with other kids. AS soon as my youngest was mobile it gets fun. The work stuff will work it self out. You make that work. If you want more kids than it's just a matter of when not if.

Do what is best for your entire family, not just your son. For the time being, you could have his caregiver (if he's not in daycare) join some playgroups.

With you and your husband both working full time it's going to be hectic whether you have one or two. Personally, I had mine 2 yrs. apart and at first it's hard but it gets easier the more independent they become. My daughter is now 6 and my son is 4, yes they do fight(what siblings don't) but they also always have a friend, playmate there for them. I'm 8 yrs older than my brother and we were never really as close as I hear of some siblings being. I always told myself that when I had children they would be close in age so they would always have someone there besides mom and dad. With your son enjoying being around other children that much, a sibling may be what he needs. Another option for the time being would be a play group. Hope this helps in your decision. Good luck no matter what!

there is never the prefect time to have another baby. If you really indeed want another one go for it! I myself know first hand on both spectrums. My brother is only 11 months older than me and my sister is only 2 years older than me. It was great having them there all thru school. On the other hand i have 3 boys of my own and the oldest is 6 1/2 years older than our middle one and the middle one is almost 5 years older than our last one(with a misscarriage in between the last 2) it can be stressful and they are so into different things but i never wanted 2 in diapers and my kids didn't get potty trained till over 3 years old. That was my personal decision. My kids are now 13, 7, and 2 and fight like me and my siblings did!Work will work itself out. I worked full time up until our last one was born but lost my job due to his medical problems. Trust me there are pros and cons to either way. You will make the right decision for your family!Just pray about it and it will come to you!

Is ther ever a "right" time to have kids? :)
If you are worried about your son being lonely, maybe get him involved in a preschool at a church or a mom's morning out program. That way he gets interaction with other little kids his own age.
Otherwise, I say go for it and start working on getting pregnant now! By the time you have the next baby, your son will be old enough to understand and enjoy his baby brother or sister. 2 - 3 years is the perfect age difference between siblings I think, as they can grow up and enjoy the same things together. Take if from me- my oldest sibling is 25 years older than me, and my middle sibling is 13 years older. I love both of them, but I missed the whole growing up together side of having brothers and sisters. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide. Whatever that is, you can make it work!

I say you just let nature take over. If the time is right it will happen, and if it isn't it won't. As for work, all of that will work itself out in time. I mean afterall it will probably be atleast a year before you have to make any life altering decsions, just see where it goes.

i presently have a boy whom will be turning 4 and another little man who is 18 months. its great! they play together and fight. they are always together. i am also expecting another baby in march. should be challenging but you take what life brings you and make the most of it. your career can still be managed possibly part time. i worked part time since i had children, it gets you out of the house!! good luck and dont worry about it. if it happens it happens!! take care, J.

I understand the dilemma. Working moms have it tough. I think about the same issue all the time. My baby boy is 5 months now and I plan to have one more and adopt another, but I don't know when would be the best time because like you I'm starting a career and plan to be and continue to be busy for life. The balance is a constant struggle. It seems to me though, that real estate has the potential to be flexible, albeit busy. You could make appointments around yours and your husbands schedule. You could do a lot from home too. That's what I'm striving for too. I'd like to teach at the college level eventually and that will provide more flexibility, though intense. There's a push and pull though, almost a guilt for me at least of striving for my own professional goals. But I continue to resolve that by telling myself that a happy and successful mommy is a good mommy, even if she's not around 24/7. So, of course your question is one I cannot answer perse, but go with your heart. Maybe get on your feet with your career and start trying to get PG. I don't know how recently you started this job. Remember there's not a "perfect" time though.

I've always believed that there should be no only children because of choice. BUT that really depends on a lot of things. It sounds like you're a great mom and have been thinking this through. My boys are 27 months apart (they are now 17 and 14...15 on Christmas). If you get preg now that's about the age difference yours will be. I remember thinking that I wanted a boy the second time so my oldest would have a buddy. Well, they were buddies for about 2 years. Then they seemed to be mortal enemies for years after :)...they are again buddies now that they are both teenagers and the oldest has acquired some maturity. Yours could be best friends from the beginning and throughout life or they could be like mine and have many years of sibbling rivalry. But they will still stick up for each other no matter how they may feel from one moment to the next. One prob I had, like a previous poster said, was that my oldest was not pottty trained until he was 3 1/2...wich meant 2 in diapers for a full year. That made it almost feel like twins. If I'd spaced them apart my one more year, or even 6 months it would have been better. My next one, a girl came along when Jonathan was 5. It didn't make a big impact because of the sex difference. I had another girl 21 months ago. This one has made a huge difference...a really great one actually! My older daughter is still young enough to be a part of the baby's childhood since Larissa will be 12 when Lauren graduates high school. My older children loves her immensely...esp. my oldest son. When they are all home I actually get more housework done because they are all willing to help with her (better than cleaning in their minds, lol). Yes, I'll be back to having an only child when the older 3 are grown, but Larissa knows that her older sibblings love her and will do anything for her. She has 3 brothers and sister that will be there for her as she grows...when she wants to talk to someone in confidence besides mom and dad she'll have them to confide in. Lauren will be able to give her advice she'll need as she becomes a preteen in a few years, even if it's over the phone or internet. Her brothers will protect her fiercely from any boys that may try to take advantage of her (along with her overprotective daddy, lol) I have experienced having children close in age and not so close and there are good and bad things with both. My suggestion is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. God will let you know when the time is right. A great option for an only child is to get him involved in a play group...you can probably find one during the evening or weekend(or organize one yourself)if you wll be working during the day. Get involved in a church that has a good preschool program if you arent' already. He will find lots of playmates there. I love our church and we have 10-12 toddlers in my daughters room (the same age group your son would be in). I'd be glad to send you info about our church if you are interested and if you are in the Goldsboro area.

My sister-in-law says you'll never regret having a baby, but you might regret not having one. That being said, you should make sure you're ready tho, and not just doing it because you think you're son is lonely. It would be a pretty good spread in age :)

I have two children that are 2 years and 10 months apart. That worked out very well for us. My daughter was thrilled when we brought her brother home and had no trouble accepting a new person into our family. My 2 1/2 year old was just excited about a baby and had no trouble accepting him. A friend had a baby within a month of mine. Her kids are 4 1/2 years apart and her 4 1/2 year old son had a harder time accepting a new family member. My friend and I both feel that the fact that he was older and understood things, like having to share mom and dad, made it more difficult for him to accept the change. However, within a month or so, he was a very proud big brother. Either route you go, your little one will needs lots of extra attention and he will be a great helper.
If you could have some time off from work while going from 1-2 children, I would definitely recommend it. I was able to work part time for a year, which was such a blessing. It takes a bit of time to get a new routine going with another little one.
Hope this helps. When you get to watch your two kids play and laugh together, no matter what their ages, it's the best. GOOD LUCK!

May as well do it now! I have 4- the oldest is 9 years older than the other 3, who were born in a span of 3 1/2 years. It makes it nice that the 3 youngest can play and look out for each other and are all going to the same school. It was hard having them all as toddlers, but it got easier. Also, I won't be ancient when they move out! Can you do real estate part-time? That may be a way to keep sanity in your life and spend enough time with the babies. It might be fun!