Want to Breastfeed but Only Want to Pump and Feed with Bottle. Advise?

I have a breastpump for sale if you decide to move forward with it. You can email me at ____@____.com.

I did pumping and bottle feeding exclusively with my first (not by choice - he just would not 'latch'). I EBF with my 2nd. All I can say is that the former was much more difficult than the latter. I found myself pumping, then feeding, then cleaning the bottles. Even if I wasn't doing the feedings, I was still having to do the pumping - and in the middle of the night just the same. The bottle washing/cleaning, etc. was the biggest pain. I would still do it all over again rather than do formula, but hopefully you will have a change of heart. Babies are very demanding - regardless of how you feed them...

Dear J., I did not get to read all you responses and it looked like you got some good advice. Have you looked into the WIC program? We had some financial problems when the girls were little and they helped with formula, eggs, and cheese. GL K. K.

Good for you wanting to give your child the best start with breastfeeding! You would not be the first or only mom to want to pump and bottle feed, but I would warn you that it will be much harder to start and maintain your milk supply just pumping. Also, it will undercut the financial benefits as most women who only pump need to use a hospital grade pump for at least the first couple months to get their supply established, as well as having to buy bottles, milk storage bags and bottles, bottle cleaning supplies, and so on.

That being said, I would suggest you at least consider doing a combo of breast feeding a bottle feeding of pumped milk. You could do the breastfeedings at times that work well for you, like first thing in the morning or when putting baby down to bed. That way you wouldn't feel as pressured by the feed on demand schedule (or lack thereof).

If you do want to pump only, here's some suggestions:
1) Plan to rent a hospital grade pump for at least the first two to three months. You can get one through the lactation consultant at the hospital or from your local LLL. Take it to the hospital when you labor, so that you can start using it right away. The first three days are key to establishing your supply.
2) Invest in a high quality, double electric pump, as well as cooler to carry expressed milk, extra bottles, replacement membranes, and bags for freezing milk.
3) Consider getting a hands free pumping bra. It is really nice when you can do something other than hold pumping horns.
4) Figure out where at work you are going to pump. You want to make sure it is set and ready to go when you get back to work. The time to figure out when and where you are going to pump is not your first day back after leave. Remember you will be sitting whereever you figure out for about 30-45 minutes at a time every 4 hours.

Good luck! When I was pumping I found a lot of support from the pumpmoms board at yahoo, as well as great info in a book called "Working Without Weaning". While the book was more for the breastfeed and pump crowd, the board had a lot of pumping only moms.

Dear J.,
First off, I am one who thinks breastfeeding is the best way to go, BUT I also had to switch to bottle feeding my last three children. Each time I had to switch, I had a number of moms that told me I was not doing "the best thing for my babies", and they made me feel as if I somehow fell short of my mommy responsibilities. My reasons were medical reasons, but if you feel that breastfeeding might cause you to resent it, don't do it. Your baby will be able to "pick up" the feeling, and may not do well.
I would hold my babies very close to my body while feeding them, and they had just as good a bonding with me as my first baby did. All my children have had allergies, and all four have asthma, my oldest is the worse. One of the reason for breastfeeding is to prevent your child from having trouble with allergies.
You may find after you give birth, that you WANT to breastfeed your baby,and that is great, but do not feel you are not quite good enough if you decide not to do it. A happy mommy bottle feeding is much better then a resentful mommy breastfeeding. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and know that your decision is going to be fine for your child, because it is made out of love for BOTH of you.
Congrats on this little miricle that is coming.

I would encourage you to explore all your possible reasons for not wanting to breastfeed. Once you've identified why you don't want to you may be able to work with that.

I also encourage you to validate and honor your feelings. That isn't to say that you stick with our feelings, but that you allow yourself the right to feel that way.

I suggest you may want to give yourself the opportunity of finding out if you want to breastfeed by first trying it.

This sounds like to me like an issue of control...having struggled so much with your body and desires and such can leave you tired and drained and defensive of all your body demands. Maybe you can explore that and work toward a peaceful relationship with your body.

Submitting may be a good thing, however; it take your power away...makes you a victim. I suggest avoiding that. Instead CHOOSE with power. Perhaps you can say: I will allow myself the opportunity of finding out for myself with true effort. After I have prepared myself well, and given me and my baby a chance at the breast, I'll make a decision from knowledge rather than fear, repulsion, or any other sense.

I offer to you that making a choice out of power and knowledge beats submission due to outside pressure and sense of weakness. Study, explore, allow, try, decide.

I just wanted to add my experience for your reading pleasure.
My first was born early and was very small. I couldn't even try to nurse her until she was a few weeks old and then she never did latch on. I pumped exclusively until she was almost 6 months old because we just couldn't afford formula. 2 years later I had my second. I decided to try nursing again and HATED it for the first 3 weeks but then it got better. I wasn't one of those moms that just cherished it, but it was ok. I nursed him until his 1st birthday and was happy to be done. It is almsot 5 years later and I'm pregnant with #3 and still hesitant about nursing this one. I will definitely give it a solid try and take it from there. Even after doing it, I think it's kinda weird.
I have done pumping only, formula only, and nursing only and I can say that nursing was easily the most convenient. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi my name is A.. When i had my son i felt alot of anxiety about breast feeding. I was afraid that he wouldnt get enough or that i wouldnt be there to breast feed enough either. So it is ok of the feelings that you are having. If breastfeeding isnt going to be available at all times, then your next best thing is the pumping, and that will be ok. At least your baby is getting the breast milk that it needs. Good luck and i hope i helped some.

Well, I hate to say it, but you almost have to breastfeed (from mom) for the first few weeks. It's how your supply will be established. While pumping after nursing is fine (so dad can take a turn, you can build a supply, etc) don't expect to get as much from a pump as from a nursing session. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it CAN be done - but it's not likely.
Sorry. :(

Yay for you for going the breastfeeding route!! It's all pros! I was feeling very much how you are, my sister and I were pg at the same time - she fed on-demand and I looked in to a great scheduling technique designed to feed baby when he/she is hungry and feed on a schedule!! It saved us! I very strongly recommend it to everyone I know who's expecting. Not only are you not dropping everything every 20 minutes which is really difficult if you have a busy lifestyle but it helps get baby sleeping through the night as quickly as possible too. It's a controversial method that some are against simply because they haven't read the book to get a full understanding of what's behind it. Your baby is always fed when hungry but they're lead forward on a schedule that I think is a lot easier on them when comparing other babies who aren't ever on any type of schedule. I believe the books can be bought on Amazon and they do have a website which unfortunately I don't have on me at the moment. As far as only pumping and feeding, your supply will begin to diminish as you go along. A babies suckle produces much more milk than any pump they've developed so far keeping your milk supply up. We had to do a lot of bottle feeding and a nursing mix at the beginning which was also handy when our son started day care as he was fine with taking a bottle. And we're still nursing! Good luck and I hope it all works out for you!

I just want to reinforce what many others have said. Feeding from the breast is sooooo much more convenient. If your baby is a good nurser, give yourself a break and try to feed from the breast as much as possible the first little while. Babies are demanding no matter how you decide to feed them, and you have to pump as often as they eat anyway. If you are returning to work, you will have to deal with the hassle of pumping and bottles some time so you might as well take advantage of some convenience while you can. Introduce the bottle at some point so you can have some free time, but just know that will be hard to come by at first no matter what.

Second, I am also a sickie the whole time I am pregnant, and I understand how you may be concerned about resenting your baby. It can be hard to feel excited when you feel so crappy! Don't worry! After your baby is born, you will no longer feel yucky (hard to believe, I know, but it is true) and then you will be more equipped to deal with the demands of a newborn. I'm not going to lie to you, your baby WILL change your life and your needs will come secondary. You will be exhausted and feel like a prisoner on your own couch. This is a pretty big adjustment for most of us, so don't feel bad if you sometimes long for the times when you could sleep when you wanted to and shower without being interrupted! But do remember that Motherhood can be a transforming experience if you will let it. It is a service that can make your life more fulfilling and joyful than you can possibly imagine--even though you have to dredge through some mud sometimes to find it. I is hard for sure, but I still wouldn't trade it for all the sleep and "me" time in the world. Don't stress too much--the best mothers among us have felt your anxiety, and they have survived (and so have their children!). Follow the instincts only a mother can have and you will be fine. :)

I am so sorry you are having a hard pregnancy. Its awful when you feel so bad and yet everyone is so excited and saying isn't it great being pregnant. ( I had this issue) I didnt read every post so I hope this isnt too redundant. First of all DO NOT let ANYONE tell you what is right or wrong for you and your baby. Breast feeding is a personal choice and you have to do what you are comfortable with. You are not being selfish and there is nothing wrong about what you are feeling. Also in spite of what everyone says, your baby will bond with you no matter what. I wound up pumping for a few months because my baby had a horrid latch and even had a poor sucking reflex on the bottle. I had to stop pumping because I had other issues so we went to formula. She is now a thriving 6 year old who is smart and incredibly healthy. In fact she got sick less than all her breast fed friends.
With that being said, I have a few suggestions and thoughts. Before you buy and expensive pump rent one from the hospital to make sure this is the right choice for you. Make sure you have your husband on board with helping out. In the beginning you still cant schedule your little ones feedings, so there is still an on demand sort of feeding. It is exhausting at first, so be prepared mentally. My little one ate every 2 hours so by the time I got her fed ( it took almost an hour to feed, diaper and get to sleep) and pumped for the next bottle, I was only getting half and hour of sleep if I was lucky. So you may still want to consider formula supplements. You can use the generics and they are just as good as the expensive stuff. Also if you haven't, sign up for all the different companies mailing programs I got tons of free samples. ( In fact Similac just sent me some formula last month on a fluke in the mail list :-) The good thing with formula is that it sticks in their tummies better so your little one may sleep longer at an earlier age. Also be prepared that you may hate pumping too. So dont feel bad if you go strictly formula. Yes it can get expensive, but you figure it out in the budget, plus if you think about it, when they start eating solids your grocery bill is going to go up anyways.
I am sorry this is so long, I have a habit of rambling. I wanted to add one more thing and hopefully it does not cause any more anxiety, but if you feel more and more anxious about being a mom, please tell you doctor. The anxiety made me really sick after I had my daughter. Its scary being a first time mom, but I have figured out that our kidos do well in spite of our mess ups. They love us too no matter what. They are resilient and as long as you approach your decisions with love and humor it works out ok and you are a good mom. Congratulations on your little one and good luck!

You sound a lot like I did. I'm 34 and just had my first - a girl 5months old now. I was never a kid person-never really held a baby or anything. I did not feel comfortable with the thought of breastfeeding at all. And I felt bad about feeling that way. But I knew I wanted to try it b/c of the huge benefits. Well, it has been really great. Moms used to always say how wonderful it was and I thought that was a little creepy to be honest but I don't know what it is but it is wonderful. And I struggled with some pain at first - but I kept doing it and now it is just second nature. I have fed her (with a hooter hider of course) everywhere-on hikes, at restraunts, in the ski lodge when we took her cross country skiing in the chariot, in the mall, in my backyard...after the first week or so it just becomes natural. And in addition to being great for your baby and cheaper it is so much more convenient than having to prepare a bottle and bring all that with you wherever you go. As for being nervous, I was very nervous too about being a mom and having a kid and I had a very rough pregnancy too. Let me tell you that you will definitely NOT resent your child for feeding on demand or anything. You are just going to be so happy that you have a healthy baby and that is all that will matter. Please don't be nervous. If I knew what I know now-I would not have worried one second. I've never been happier. I took lots of parenting classes (I highly recommend the happiest baby on the block) and I would suggest that, but it does come very natural and it is so much fun. It does change your life but in a good way. I'm back to work now and I would give anything to be a stay at home mom. I rush home everyday and I can't get home soon enough to see my little one and you will too. But, back to the breastfeeding thing-don't beat yourself up over it if it isn't for you either. That doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother-your going to be a wonderful mother now matter what you decide. But from one mother that was a little scared and creeped out about it to another I would say at least give it an honest try. My guess is that you'll be thankful you did and you'll look back on this and wonder why you were ever nervous about it. Good luck with everything. It is going to be amazing!

Hi. I see you have had lots of advice so far, I'm hoping you won't mind one more.
When I had baby #1, I was on the fence about nursing. I didn't like the idea, but felt pressured to do it. Plus finances were low. I tried it and HATED it. I also threw some pumping in there because my hubby wanted to help feed. It was all too much for me. I also had a colicky baby and according to my hubby, bad post partum. After 3 weeks I quit. I was much better mom for using a formula.
Baby #2, figured I would try nursing again, my own reasons this time. He is now five months old and I am still breastfeeding. It worked for him. He is a much easier baby. I thought about quitting several times. I didn't like the demand, but knew it was better for my bank account. I lucked out in that he is a great nurser, since day one. He has only ever gotten up 1 time at night, even as a newborn, he sleeps 11-12 hours nightly now. He only nurses 4 times a day. If it had been harder, I am sure I would have quit.
I know they say it is healthier, but my daughter who was on formula is very healthy. This is your decision! YOU make it. It was hard to try and nurse, pump, and not sleep. I know daddy wants to be involved, but do what works for you. Baby will still need lots of cuddle time. Perhaps just pumping will work out for you. Good luck. I found it is best to decide these things before baby comes and the hormones are out of whack! Don't forget, it is ok to quit if it doesn't work out.

I am so sorry that you feel you have to breastfeed. It is a rotten world when you are pressured into something that you don't want. I love breastfeeding but I am not about to go around and tell women that it is the only way. Yes breast milk is wonderful and if you can pump and then feed that is great! but plenty of babies were raised on formula and turned out just fine. You are going to have to pump every three hours in the begining to keep your supply which you might feel is just like feeding on demand. (just a warning) at about 4 months you can pump every 4 hours and that makes it a little more doable. If you can give your baby that nutrition then that is so great but if you decide it isn't for you then tell the mama's that are weighing in on this to go to h***. IT's your baby and your body and they can butt out! Unfortunately it doesn't stop after you have a baby either...I still have people telling me how to parent my children and sometimes they are complete strangers. Read I Was a Much Better Mom Before I had Kids. It really helped me to stop judging both myself and others.

Pumping a bottle for once in a while (or for regular use for that matter) isn't much of a problem. Pumping full time it a totaly pain. It, honestly, takes more time than nursing. I totally understand you wanting to pump bottles so dad can be involved in feedings (especially night time so you can catch up on sleep), but I would encourage you to try nursing... it really is faster and easier than pumping in my mind. Good luck with your decision. You might also want to pick up Babywise or borrow it from the library. The schedule setting procedure outlined in there would probably interest you.

Breast milk is the best. What ever way you give it to your baby Yeah!!!
I would recommend working with a LLC so you came make a plan on how, when, what to expect etc,, Bossom buddies has a great one I have worked with over the phone several times and have had one appointment face to face. I can not say enough about the great experience and peace of mind talking to a LLC that can give you book knowledge and real life info.
I would recommend planning on renting a hospital grade pump for the first month or tow then use a high quality home pump
*Pumping is as much work as nursing + you have to wash all the stuff.

Lori,
I have always said I would never breastfeed b/c I felt it was gross and wrong.... I now a breastfeeding mom!
I think it is totally fine to introduce the bottle to the baby if you decide not to feed on the breast. (I do have to say, it is easy and relaxing and when the baby wakes up in the night you are all set to go!)
I think its very important to give yourself a break and babies do eat alot, and when they go through a growth spurt, holycow they can eat almost everyhour! So dont feel guilty about asking for someone to help you, everyone likes to help and it will only make you a better Mom to have a break and have some time to yourself! I would also take advantage getting as much help as possible the first two-three weeks, you can feel really overwhelmed and tired and having someone there to "team-up" with you will make it so much easier and enjoyable!
I wouldnt worry about having resentment towards your baby either, my daughter was not planned and i was very angry about having a baby and being a single mom and 21 years old, and now all I want is the best for her!
Good luck!
A.

Just want to second what others are already telling you. I will totally admit that before I had my first (now 10 months and still breastfeeding), I was a little grossed out by watching other moms breast feed. I don't know why, just the sound of it, and maybe just the whole "milk truck" feeling. I'm not sure. It's embarrassing to admit. I knew I wanted to breast feed simply because I am very in to nutrition myself and wanted that for my child, but I did not expect to really enjoy it.

I have to tell you that I absolutely love it now. It is SO much easier than pumping. I also can't tell you how much I hate pumping. You really do feel like a cow on an assembly line with this gadget hooked up to you squishing out milk. It hurts way more than feeding your child and you've got to hook everything up, dismantle it, wash all of the parts after.

That said, I do think it's great to get dad involved. I started off pumping just enough for dad to give DS a bottle or two a day. But then DS stopped taking a bottle at 2 months so that was no more!

Anyhow, I would suggest you just keep an open mind about it. You may actually like (or even love) it. I am just beginning a gradual weaning process simply because DH and I have to go overseas in two months and are leaving DS behind with grandma and grandpa. I never thought I'd be sad to be weaning but I'm really going to miss the time we get to spend together like that. Anyhow... I'm sure it just sounds like a cliche to you right now (it did to me, too), but it really can be amazing.

Whatever you choose, try to relax and realize that you will be a great mama! Good luck!

First of all, I want to tell you that no matter what anyone says, you have to make this decision for yourself. I'll just give you my opinion, you get to decide what advice to take and leave. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what choices you decide to make.

I've worked as a pediatric nurse for many years now. I've worked with many many breastfeeding moms and pumping moms. In my experience, pumping and feeding takes so much more time and is exhausting for the mom. It sounds easy, but it really is a lot of work! It makes feeding times take a lot longer because you have to spend 20 minutes pumping, then still take 20 minutes to feed your baby. When you can breastfeed, you cut out a lot of time every day. Pumping can be done, but it is also difficult to maintain an adequate supply and if you're trying to do this to save money, you may become stressed out as your supply dwindles. I found breastfeeding to be so beneficial to us both. It was relaxing (after the first few weeks of course). I wasn't sure about it, but loved it after I'd done it. Remember that the first few weeks are extremely difficult whether you're feeding on the breast or pumping. You may want to meet with a certified lactation consultant so that you have extra support. If you do decide to breastfeed, you can always pump a little each day so that your husband can be involved. I gave my babies one bottle per day (usually around 4 am when I was too tired to get up). I also had my husband help by getting the baby for me, changing the diapers before I fed, etc.

Again, remember you're the mom and only you can decide what you want to do. You may want to talk to more moms who have exclusively pumped to get their experiences. Most will probably tell you that they wish they could have breastfed. Whatever you decide, you're making an awesome choice to feed your child breastmilk, however it gets to her/him! Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck!

I had to pump for my first and no matter what anyone says by staying on a very strict schedule(NEVER skipping especially at night) I was able to pump enough for the first year. I stayed on the schedule he was feeding on. When he ate every two hours, I pumped every two hours. It stretched out as he had longer between feedings. It was really hard because you had to pump then feed at night. My husband works and I stay at home so the night feedings were all mine. Also I pumped for about twice as long as I would have breast fed. I always pumped for about a minute after I was dry to increase my milk supply. I was able to brestfeed my second and I will say the inconvenience of whipping it out vs. the pain of pumping was nothing. If I would have been able to breastfeed my first I would have never been able to keep up with the pumping with my second because it is so much harder. You just have to do what works for you and your family. You will also get free coupons and cans of formula from your Dr. You can ask for more, although I know they are limiting the numbers because so many people are having a hard time right now. GOOD LUCK and try and let go of the guilt and enjoy your child.

Hi J.,

You cannot even imagine how much love you will have for that baby once she is here. My best friend was really against breastfeeding, but once her baby got here she wouldnt have it any other way. I ould recommend strictly breastfeeding for the first 3 months at least. Dont introduce a bottle until at least a month. This reduces "nipple confusion". Its hard to strictly pump for your baby because a pump does not mimic a babies suckle. You may experience low milk supply if only pumping. If you do have low milk supply drink mothers milk tea and take "more milk plus" those both help stimulate more milk. Seriously though, there isnt any better feeling than knowing that YOU are the only one that can provide the best food for your baby. It is so rewarding seeing them suckle and knowing that just you are filling there belly and giving their little precious bodies EXACTLY what they need. I would bet you would love it. If needed consult with or go to a LLL meet, they have all sorts of ideas and questu=ions they love to answer. Best of luck!

You may change your mind when the baby is born. It's the lazy person's way out to breast feed, to some extent. Pumping is double work - you spend the time pumping, then you spend the time feeding. Also the baby is much more comfortable than the pump and much more efficient (faster).
I'm not stating the obvious about bonding and nutrition...
but I am sure you know all those things.
I am not sure if you think that pumping will be less "on demand" than breastfeeding - you still need to generate, and express the same amount of milk for whatever feedings - you don't get a whole huge supply and get to dump it a couple times a day when it's convenient. If you try to do that, you will not have enough milk. You need to pump every couple hours to keep your supply up - which is just about how often the baby needs to eat.
Each person is different - you may have a lot of milk, I am not sure - but it seems like if you dont' pump often, you would lose your supply. I'd hate to see that happen.
Good luck with your decision.

Hi J.-

You may be surprised how you feel when the baby comes. I breastfed my daughter for a year and am pregnant with our second. This may sound weird, but I can't even remember what it was like and I can't think of how it will be natural to have a baby hanging on my boob all the time! :) But it was so relaxing and nice with my first, I know I will love it again. I always pumped right after my feedings so that I could build up bottles and then if I wanted to go somewhere and skip a feeding, my husband could feed her. I think if you only pump, you may have a hard time keeping up your supply because you are not having contact with the baby. But I'm not an expert.

Good luck!

I totally understand your feelings on this issue. I have an 18 month old whom I planned on pumping and feeding with a bottle also. That did not work out so well for us. Breastfeeding is very hard. I applaud all the moms that do it and can do it for so long. Ultimately my son was breastfed for about 8 weeks and then we went to formula. He was a difficult baby having Reflux issues and such. I want you to know that this is YOUR decision!! Do not let the doctors or anyone else for that matter tell you that you are a bad mom because you did not breastfeed!! I felt a lot of pressure when I stopped but stood my ground and made them aware that it was what I wanted. For extra support I had my mom come to a Dr. appt with me to help me tell them that I could not do it anymore. It got to the point that my son wanted to eat every hour and I could not take it anymore. It is exhausting!!! We also suffered through fertility issues and they are the best miracle that life can offer. My advice: Do what will make you and your family happy, not what would make others happy!! The easier it is on you the more you will enjoy it!

Good Luck!
J.

You do not need to decide at this moment that you will exclusively pump and bottle feed. As you stated, you beat the odds and got pregnant... embrace it. You will know what to do, and you will do what is best for both you and your baby. This may be your only child... I'd encourage to at least bond by breastfeeding initially - perhaps commit yourself to a certain timeframe to begin with, if that will help with your anxiety, and then allow for alternatives. I will tell you a little about me and what I did - I have always been committed to breastfeeding. But with my first I felt a bit suffocated at first - since I was the only one that could feed her. These feelings suprised me and I felt sort of guilty. In retrospect, I think it was hormonal. But then something clicked - I remember feeding her in the middle of the night and realizing how beautiful the bond was. Skin to skin, so close, and so healthy for both of us. Now I have three kids and wish I had nursed them all longer than I did. You get this one shot to make this decision - don't feel pressed to make all your decisions now. Just commit to at the first month so he/she can get all the important nutrition and antibodies that only you can provide. Then you can reevaluate.

My advice to you is if you can nurse and you want to use a bottle then pump. I did not like the idea of nursing at all so my kids had formula. I also had very intimate one on one time with all of my babies. I also enjoyed that my husband and older children could feed the baby, so I could get other things done like dinner, Laundry, House cleaning. Good Luck. Don't feel guilty it is your body do what you want. Only you can decide, what feels right.

Choosing breast milk is a great choice. You may find once the baby comes you are okay breastfeeding, too.
In the mean time, a double electric breast pump that cycles 48-60 times per minute is imperative if you plan to exclusively pump. Ameda Purely Yours or Medela Pump-in-Style are two of the more popular brands. Playtex has one pump with high-cycling, but it's $300, so picking a brand made by a breastfeeding company may be a better choice, particularly if you need different flange sizes (the part that touches your breast).
Hormone levels are highest in the middle of the night and morning, so some moms pump more during these times. Your body may be able to produce milk when you request it, so pumping more milk during fewer pumping sessions is possible. You'd save the milk and divide it up for future feedings. I once worked with a mom who pumped twice a day and produced enough milk in those two sittings to feed her baby all day long. She ended up with enough milk in her freezer to wean from pumping when the baby was about 10 months old, and the baby had breast milk through his first birthday. Amazing!
Good luck with your pregnancy and baby.

J.,
My daughter was a preemie and, long story short, would never latch so I pumped and did bottle feeding until she was 6 months. Pumping is very hard but very rewarding too. My husband did every other feed because it didn't "have" to be me. It was great bonding for him too. You need to make your own choices (to breastfeed or not) based on how you feel. Don't let ANYONE make you feel bad about your decision! (email me privately if you need a pep talk!!) You are doing the absolute best thing by pumping for your child and feeding her/him your milk. I did IVF 3 times and I completely understand the stress of infertility. Hang in there and remember that by giving the baby your breastmilk you are doing the RIGHT THING! My one piece of advice: RENT a really good pump that can pump both breasts at one time. Also, buy the pumping bra (it holds the cups on your breasts so you can do other things while pumping). It is WELL worth it.
Best of luck and congratulations!! Infertility stinks!
B.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you HAVE to breastfeed! I did breastfeed my first, I wanted to, but it was one of the hardest and most frustrating things I've ever done. No one seemed to understand how I could "dislike" breastfeeding. However, I had so many expectations about how wonderful it would be that I was totally unprepared for not enjoying it or being able to do it easily. I switched from breastfeeding to pumping after 2 months b/c I had to have surgery. Pumping was a little easier, but almost MORE demanding on my time since I had to pump twice as much as he would normally feed to keep my milk supply coming in. I did it for 2 weeks and that was enough! I am 29 weeks right now and, although I am planning to TRY to breast feed with this one, I am not going to let myself feel guilty if it's not something I can do. The only thing I would say is that if you really want to supply SOME breast milk you might want to let the baby nurse for at least the first few days, just to get your supply going. Pumping just doesn't do the same thing. If you really think it's not for you, then go for formula. Even the generic brands are incredibly good these days. If money is an issue be sure to pay attention to sales and coupons and buy in bulk when you can find a good price....since the expiration dates are usually at least a year out. Whatever you do, make sure it's what YOU'RE comfortable with, b/c if you're not comfortable with the situation your baby won't be either! Good Luck!

Hi! I pumped with all three of my kids. It kinda started when my first was jaundice so I had to supplement with formula. Quickly, she preferred the bottle so I just ended up pumping to make life easier. I found it to be really nice to be able to sleep longer while my husband or mom took the night duty or even day feedings while I took a nap. So, I never "breastfed" again but rather pumped. One thing for sure is that you need a really good pump. So, if your choice is to pump to save money, you may not be saving much in the end by buying or renting a pump. It need to be one where you can pump both breasts at the same time is 10-15 minutes. Otherwise, you will be spending all of your time pumping and it will not be worth it.

One other thing that was nice is that you can supplement with formula easily since you will already be doing to bottle. At night, I would do a half and half of breastmilk and formula and my newborns would go 4 hours between feedings. Lastly, I also found that I produced twice the breastmilk I needed, so I froze leftovers and was able to give my babies breastmilk about 2 months after I was done pumping.

just make sure that:
1. You have an excellent pump. Also, use the pump in the hospital so you can get extra parts. It it easier to have lots of bells to you are not constantly washing parts after pumping.
2. Try supplementing with a little formula- that way you are not locked into breastmilk all of the time. You are still going to cut the cost of buying formula by a lot. BTW, you do not have to buy expensive formula. The FDA regulations on formula is very tight, so they all have the same nutrition. Buy Sam's choice and you'll save so much money.
3. Make sure you have a commitment from your husband and/or family. Pumping really is the best compromise if you have a good support system as I think it's worth time time of pumping to get more sleep or more of a break. However, if you end up always feeding the baby and pumping then it's not worth the time.
4. Do not let anyone make you feel bad for not breastfeeding. I could never understand why some people were bothered by the fact that I preferred to pump (especially the nurses in the hospital). If it's truly about giving the baby breastmilk, then what's the big deal? It's still the same. If it's about the closeness a woman has with her baby during feeding, I think you can still be close feeding with a bottle, and it gives baby a chance to bond with dad/grandma, etc. And, it gives you a chance to recover from a difficult pregnancy.

Good luck!

I have nursed three babies for an average of 12 months each and have never done the feeding on demand thing. We did "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. It has some things in it that some of the moms object to, but the main eating, wake, sleep schedule works very well for both starting and maintaining breastfeeding, as well as for getting baby to sleep well -- something you'll appreciate when you go back to work. :) I'd encourage you to read it. You can get it at most any library if you don't want to buy it. It's a pretty easy read, too.

As far as pumping only goes, the average pump to do that is around 3-4K, plus then the cost of supplies and sterilizing. Otherwise, the pumps rent for about 31 cents a day. The Medela Symphony worked really well for me when my baby wasn't eating and I had to pump to bring in my milk. Short of those, you'll be challenged to keep up your milk supply enough.

If you're not comfortable with nursing, there is no need to. Yes, milk has a lot of benefits, some of which we don't know, others of which we can't duplicate. That being said, there is nothing wrong with formula. I'm probably going to get beat up by some moms for that last statement. Many babies have been raised very healthy on formula. I didn't do it because of cost. (My one who did some formula required Nutramagen!!!). Nursing or bottle feeding is a decision that only you and your husband can make for your baby. I applaud you're wanting to do what's best for her. That is to love the baby and take care of the baby. I understand the infertility part and difficult pregnancies. Who knows, maybe you'll hold that baby and nursing is going to be the most wonderful thing in the world and you'll end up doing it for a year or more. (It happened to a friend of mine.) If not, so what? Love that baby and nourish him/her with formula. If you do decide to pump, call some La Leche Leagues or other nursing support systems and check out the full cost of all of that is involved.

Congratulations on your little one. I hope labor and the first 6 weeks are much better than the last few years have been. Enjoy!

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! I went through a depression after my first for not wanting to breast feed. I tried and tried, but it made me feel miserable instead of nurturing and when I finally switched to bottles I was so happy until someone would tell me how bad it was that I was not breast feeding (I used generic formula). My son is two he is healthy and has only been sick twice since he was born. I now have a daughter and tried again (out of guilt) and discovered I'm not comfortable with breast feeding (I'm OK with other women doing it and being around them, but just can't do it myself),and if I "suck it up and sacrifice" I am miserable and missing out on how wonderful it is to be a mom and how great this short time with my baby is. I've learned that my breasts and my children are my business and when people ask me if I'm breast feeding or why I'm not breast feeding I simple tell them "that's a bit personal don't you think?" they usually realize it is turn red and end of discussion. No need to defend yourself. After all bottle feeding has been around since the ancient Egiptians it can't be all that bad.

Before having my first baby I knew that I wanted to breastfeed, but I will admit that I was a little bit hesitant about it - the thought of turning something that was formerly a sexual body part into a funtional, feeding body part seemed weird to me. I was also a little hesitant because every ALWAYS said that the first 2-3 weeks were basically hell and then if you could get through it would be better. Well, im my own experience - I never got the horrible soreness that everyone talked about. My baby had a good latch from the beginning and the transition into breastfeeding was very easy - WAY easier than everyone said it would be. was also surprised because breastfeeding my baby came very naturally - it didn't feel weird or anything like that, it just felt like the right thing. And, on the days that I had been nursing all day and felt a bit like a milk cow but the end of the day, my hubby was always there to remind me that he thinks I am sexy at the end of the day, that that was fine too. Pumping to me, makes you feel a WHOLE lot MORE like a milk cow, plus it is SUCH A huge hassal! I've only done it a few times, because my baby never ever took to the bottle, but man, it it a lot of work. I jsut havea simple 50$ pump, so I'm sure if you got or rented an automatic one it would make it easier, but that is also jsut more parts to clean in between each nursing. To me, Nursing was never confining - you find that you can actually do a WHOLE bunch of things at the same time you nurse your baby - read, surf the net, talk on the phone, watch TV - you name it, you just get really good at doing everything one-handed. Oh, and a boppy pillow is the most convenient thing for a new baby, if you don't have then then get one! So, nursing was MUCH easier for me since I was home all day anyways. I can't even imagine how much of a hassel it must be to have to get up in the middle of the night and not just get the baby, but also go out and fix up a bottle of breastmilk or formula in the middle of the night and then hold it the whole time your baby is feeding - Thats one of the best things about nursing - my hubby just went and got the baby at night and I never even had to get out of bed, the baby can nurse perfectly well while you are laying on your side, and you can basically SLEEP while they are eating and then jsut put them back in bed when you are done. I don't think anything gets more convenient than that!!

Well, lastly, It as interesting to me, because when my baby boy was around 6-7 months old, I really finally noticed how much I had come to enjoy breastfeeding - something that I never would have pictured myself ever doing. Its just such a great time for closeness and cuddling for Mom and baby, and its really neat that YOU are the only one who can provide the baby with that form of comfort. It is a lot more personal than bottle-feeding, and since I have come to that realization, I can't help but feel kinda sorry for the baby's who never get to breastfeed. When I mentioned it to my hubby, I found out that he feels the same way. He never resented that I was the only one who could feed Gawyn at all. He helped out where he could in other places.

The only time that nursing feels a bit confining is if you baby wont take a bottle - because then you have to keep them with you everywhere unless you are going out for 3 hours or less. But, that feels pretty natural as well - its not a bother either. You will find that you become so attached to your new little baby that even being gone from them for jsut a few hours you miss them dreadfully. LOL even when they are jsut taking a long nap you find yourself waiting for them to get up already so you can spend more time with them because you miss them. I had NO IDEA how strongly I would become attached to my baby before he was born - you will love that baby like you have never loved anything else in the entire world. Its amazing and thats the way its supposed to be! Actually - to me breastfeeding exclusively did not feel confining at all until he was around 4-5 months old, and by that time he was already ready to start introducing to solid foods, which frees you up anyways.

My baby is now 9 1/2 mos old, and we just found out that I am pregnant again already (suprise suprise!) We are very excited, and honestly the only thing I regret is that I will have to wean him a lot earlier than I was planning. He will be weaned in August when he is jsut under a year old, so that he has time to forget about nursing and doesn't feel replaced when his new sibling arrives in Dec. If I had it my way, I would have breastfed until he was atleast a year and a half old, and although I know some people breastfeed two babies, thats not for me, neither is it for my body, since my milk has been drying up on its own ever since I got pregnant again. It makes me sad to wean him this early, but I'm greatful for the time that he did have :-)

My advice - try breastfeeding first (for atleast a month so you have time to get past the tough part if there is one), and if it doesnt work or if it feels like you think it will to you, then switch to pumping. I hope my answer helps you! Good luck and congrats on becomming a new mom! Motherhood is the most AMAZING thing!

Well all mother's are different so I can't tell you how you are going to feel once you have your baby but for me breast feeding is one of the best things in the world! I love it and have done it with both daughters. But again not everyone feels the same way but you won't know until you try. I had one friend who said she was only going to nurse for the first 6 weeks just so her baby could get some good milk at least at first but once she started she ended up nursing him until he was one! I have also had moms who are going back to work and so they do both either pump and give baby breastmilk while gone or even just give formula while gone. You really only have to give a baby maybe one bottle every other day that will keep them used to doing both. Plus whether or not your baby is breast feed or on formula when they are first born you still have to feed them on demand. And again whether or not it's breast milk or formula once they get older they will get on a routine. It's just that breast feed babies usually need to eat more often than formula feed babies. But again I have had friends that go went back to work so what they did is nurse their babies when they were home and gave them bottles while at work and that worked out fine for them. So you can have both. You just have to introduce the bottle right away along with your breast. But just remember that it is a personal choice...just don't make up your mind until you try both ways.

I sure have. When I was at the hospital I felt like if I was forced by the nurses to breast feed after I had told them I did not want to. Anyways I tried and the minute my baby tried to grasp the nipple, I had to get her off. I can't stand breast feeding, even though I felt judged I pumped so both mommy and baby were happy. Aslong as the baby gets the breast milk it does not matter how. Wow I am not the only one feeling this way. Thanks for sharing.

I had three kids (I was 32 w/ my first too). I loved breastfeeding and, when I had to go back to work when my babies were 3 months old, I pumped at the office for 5-6 months. You MUST have an electric pump (the Medela Pump-In-Style was great). I pumped in my private office (it had windows w/ shades) and there was a refrigerator on my floor so I stored my milk there. Pumping is pretty joyless and yes, there are the sanitation issues so I view pumping as just another sacrifice moms make for their kids. [Nursing, on the other hand, is so sweet and very efficient. But you can choose, of course.] In contrast to others, I thought pumping increased my milk supply but then I always had tons; I practically choked my newborns until they learned to keep up. I personally believe nipple confusion is a myth. If you are going to nurse and bottlefeed, start the bottle early. Like week 1-2. The one child I delayed on (until he was 12 weeks) and didn't give a pacifier to had a more difficult adjustment than the two who started on bottles early and also experimented w/ pacifiers. Those two managed to nurse just fine as well as take the other nipples.

I think you should go into breastfeeding with an open mind. It does not always work for everyone, but you could at least try. Try to get the baby to latch-on and see how it goes. If that does not work for you or baby, then try pumping and doing bottles. I find pumping to be more of a pain than just latching the baby on when it is time to eat. It is so time consuming to pump for every feeding and clean all the parts. My son gets 2 bottles a week of pumped milk. I just hate pumping. I do agree it is cheaper to pump then buy formula. Best of luck with whatever you decide, but try not to shut out the idea of actually nursing before just trying it.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. I can tell you from experience that pumping is a lot more time consuming and draining than it seems. I was unable to get my baby to latch on properly and couldn't afford a lactation consultant, so I pumped for 8 months. It pretty much doing double duty since after you finish pumping you need to feed the baby. It's also hard to go out anywhere, because you need to pump every 2-3 hours to keep your milk supply going, not to mention engorgement, leaky breasts, washing the equipmnt 100 times/day, etc. I'm not trying to scare you out of it, but just letting you know about some of the inconveniences that I never thought about prior to making our decision. Breast milk is still best, so it's worth it, but just be prepared. Good luck.

Don't feel pressured. You have to do what is best for you and your lo. I could not bf my first because I didn't produce enough milk, didn't even try with the 2nd. With my 3rd, I also wanted to strictly pump and bottle feed but due to medication I take, couldn't. All 3 of mine are formula babies. Pumping is very demanding but if you can do it, I say go for it.

Good luck!

First off it is horrible that you feel pressured to breastfeed! I understand the financial aspect but to be honest "how" you want to feed the baby is entirely up to you! With my first son I tried it b/c of the same reasons & thought I would be a bad parent if I didn't breastfeed. When my son came I really resented it & therefore more stresssed than I needed to be. We went to formula & he is completely fine. Now with my second 4 years later I actively deceided I wanted to do and now love it. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is do what feels right for you. Personally when it came to solely pumping and bottle feeding I couldn't do it. I had a hospital grade pump, but "solely" pumping dried up my supply and hurt.

Because my son wouldn't latch properly, I did the same thing. I pumped for 8 months and he ate with whomever and when he wanted. It was nice not to be tied to breastfeeding, but I was then attached to the pump, so to speak. But, I could pump when it was convenient for me. Just make sure you spend a few extra dollars and get a good pump that you can do both breasts at the same time.

I have a friend who has made this arrangement work, she started out breatfeeding for a short time though. But she was able to pump enough milk for her baby for 10 months of breatmilk only, no formula at all so it IS possible. She took the herbs fenugreek and blessed thissle every day the whole time, she got about 8 oz of milk per pumping session so the herbs were very effective. She bought the herbs as liquid tinuctures and she told me that they are more potent that way, I used to use just the capsules of the herbs and that worked pretty well too. Good luck!

I think you need to do what's best for all of you. The bonding experience is really amazing - I couldn't imagine until I had my own baby and my best friend had encouraged me to breast feed. I had some help from a friend of the family who really made it easier, too. But, you are being so thoughtful wanting to at least pass along the nourishment! I'd give it some time. Maybe you can make a decision about what works for all of you, once you're feeling a bit better.

J., my son is now 7 months old and I wanted to breastfeed him because of the cost as well. I tried my hardest to get him to feed off my breast but he wanted nothing to do with that but I decided in the beginning that I would pump as well. So I bought a pump and pumped my milk while trying to get him to breastfeed. Some babies don't want to breastfeed or just can't which was my sons problem couldn't. But I pumped my milk for 4 months straight. It was a lot of dedication to pump but worth it. In the beginning I was pumping every 2 hours and putting it in the fridge but then I produced so much milk because I pumping so much, I had to freeze it. I don't see a problem with you wanting to pump your milk and bottle feeding. If you haven't purchased a breast pump, I have mine it is a Medela double electric breast pump. You would have to buy the attachments to go with it but if you want to purchase please email me. ____@____.com

Good Luck.

J.,

While I agree that you can not yet fathom how much love you will have for your baby, I'm not going to tell you that you MUST nurse your baby for at least 3 months. I will tell you my story and how I first felt.

When I was younger I was told I couldn't BF due to a thyroid problem. So I never expected to. When I was pregnant with my son, the Dr told me I could, but my medication might tamper with my milk supply (also a difficult pregnancy. I had awful morning sickness for almost 6 months, bleeding, awful back pain and I had very very low fluid and was on bed rest the last half) To me, it seemed so weird to have a little person sucking on me. I figured I would try it out, see how it went and take it from there.

My son was born full term but had complications. He ended up going to the NICU and staying there for 25 days. I had to bring my milk in with a pump. I hated every second I had that thing on me! It was uncomfortable, heavy to carry, and a nuisance to clean. I knew my milk was best, so that was the reason I continued. He was 3 weeks old the first time I got to actually BF him, and it was amazing! To be able to hold him close and watch him eat. The feeling was completely different than having a plastic tube pulling me. It wasn't easy to get him to want to nurse, he liked the bottle, but we over came that and had a great nursing relationship. Then my daughter was born and she took to the breast 15 min after she was born, now I can't get her to quit lol.

Pumping milk IS a wonderful option for giving your baby breast milk. Just keep in mind how you still will need to pump at least every 3 hours, even at night time, but then your body won't know exactly how much your baby will need. When there's a growth spurt, you're going to have to pump more, and the response is not instantaneous. Also, I never seemed to get more than 3 oz at a time, but when I nursed, I would fill my babies tummy. The way the baby sucks uses all the glands and effectively empties the breast. Pumping is a great thing to do while you're at work or to get daddy involved, but I believe it will create so much more work for you than just nursing. You already will be sleep deprived and exhausted no matter what lol. Why cause more work that needs to be done?

They have breast shields, which I never used, but I had a friend who used them with both her daughters the entire time she nursed. She said it helped her with the weird feeling. Maybe look into options like that to see what you think about trying to nurse with something? Also you can nurse/pump during the day, and use formula at night. Its thicker and keeps baby fuller longer. The on demand feeding is best for very young babies and establishing your milk supply but it will not be like that the entire time. I was never good on setting schedules, but I'm not a very organized person like that. You can think of the best schedule for you and start working on it with baby from day one.

I would highly recommend talking to a lactation consultant, LLL leader or just go to a meeting if possible. You're not a mutant for feeling this way. Being around other moms breast feeding is completely different than you breast feeding your child. I am perfectly comfortable nursing in a public place WITH a blanket, but I would never just pull up my shirt, and I still find it weird when women do.

Before people get offended, don't get me wrong, I am very pro breastfeeding, I nursed my son for 14 months and my daughter is 15 months and still nurses. Also my grandmother nursed 9 of 11 kids and was a La Leche League leader for about 20 years. She received awards and also contributed to the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. My mother and all my aunts nursed their children, for time spans from 3 weeks to 4 years. Needless to say, breastfeeding is very common in my family and I have seen many women do it.

Best wishes on what you decide! The most important thing is to take care of your baby and feed them nutritious food! God bless.

V.

Hi J.:

I'm not going to hop on a soap box about how breastfeeding is the morally and medically correct way to go, but I can offer some practical advice for why you should reconsider trying breastfeeding first. Give it a few weeks, and if you really don't like it, you can always switch exclusively to pumping or go to formula. And when it's your own baby, it may seem a lot less weird.

The trick with breastfeeding is that the amount of milk you produce is based on how OFTEN you nurse, not how MUCH you nurse. In the beginning, while you are establishing your milk supply, you're going to need to expel milk every 2 or 3 hours one way or another. So, you can either feed on demand or pump on demand. And the feeding part is a LOT less time and nuisance than the pumping part.

Also, even the best pump isn't as effective as a baby. Breasts can tell the difference. Like a lot of women, I found that it was much easier maintaining my milk supply when I was breastfeeding exclusively than when I pumped part-time after I went back to work. This is especially critical in the first few weeks when you are establishing your milk supply -- if you don't get off to a solid start, it's hard, sometimes impossible, to get on track.

If you're going to do wholesale pumping, most women don't "let down" milk easily enough to use a cheap hand pump. So you're probably going to need to either rent or buy an electric pump. To buy a good one that will be efficient and not painful starts at about $250/$300. Or, when I checked 3 years ago, pumps rented for about $60/month. (For health reasons, they don't recommend used pumps, although they are available out there.) Figure on about 20 mins. at a time for pumping if you do both sides at once -- unless you're one of those lucky women who flows really easily.

And if you do both sides at once, both hands are occupied holding the cups. (Or you need to get a "bra" that supports the pumps for you.)

And there are always plenty of exceptions to any general rule, but the majority of babies can switch from breast to bottle and back with no big issues. You may get a baby who will resolutely only take breast or only want bottle, but you won't know til you try.

Breastfeeding can be painful at first, even with a "good" nurser who latches well. Until your nipples toughen up -- just keep slathering on the lanolin -- and it will get to the point where it doesn't hurt at all -- even if you don't believe that will ever happen!

As a single mom, I found breastfeeding so much faster and easier than pumping and sterilizing after I went back to work. Not to mention all of the lugging around that comes with that. After I went back to work, making sure that I always had sterilized pumping equipment and sterilized bottles ready was a huge, time-consuming nuisance. Both you and your fiance are going to have plenty of other things to do with your time in the first few months than constantly sterilizing pump parts.

Whatever route you ultimately choose to take, I wish you best of luck!

Before you totally X out the breast thing, you may want to just try it. You really won't have a choice in the hospital anyways. Everyone handles it differently some are bold while others are very private. Another option is to just forego the breast milk all around. MANY mothers do it and the babies turn out fine. I found that pumping was one of the most horrible things I have had to do. It is time consuming, loud, uncomfortable, and your milk doesn't come in as well. Talk about feeding on demand! It is just plain hard! In short, you really shouldn't even worry about it, you will know what works for you when that baby gets here. And when you are in the hospital, talk to the lactation nurse right away and discuss you concerns. They are amazing in this area.

Good luck, and hold on for the ride! =)

My sister-in-law breastfed because her hubby wanted her to. They've got 2 his, 2 hers & an "our" kid-the baby was "ours". She had a hard time getting him to latch on, she was resentful because she felt she wasn't in control of her body, she'd gotten into a car accident while pregnant so the very position she needed to be in to nurse hurt her... the list went on.
Like you said in your update, it's your baby & dammit you get to be the boss (well, you & Dad-he does get to have some say too). There's a chance you'll qualify for WIC-definitely look into it because it (when we had it anyway) will give you up to 8 cans of formula a month, plus baby cereal when he's big enough for it. Start checking out breast pumps, get formula advice from friends & doctors, call La Leche League (they're breastfeeding GODDESSES!)... find out all you can about all of your options & decide after he gets here what's best for all 3 of you-baby, you & Dad.

Hi J.,
I have felt exactly the way you describe. It's okay to pump and use the bottle. When I had my first everyone expected me to breast feed and I did for a little bit. My daughter though would only nurse on one side. It was frustrating and needless to say I ended up a bit lopsided.
My doctor finally told me this..."The formula's now are so good that it's not necessary to drive my self crazy about breast feeding." Economy wise of course breast milk is way cheaper. Don't let well intentioned people make you feel guilty for doing what is best for you and what you are comfortable with. No two moms are the same so cut your self some slack and enjoy being a mom.