I recently remarried in Aug. of 2007. I have a 10 yr old son from my previous marriage who lives with my husband and I full time. My husband has 3 children from his previous marriage who are 14(boy), 11(boy), and 10(girl) who stay with us every other weekend during school and then come more often in the summer when their schedules allow. My 10 yr old son has always wanted a sibling and when my husband and I got married we sat him down and said that we would not be having anymore children, because now we had 4. My son was a little disappointed but was OK with it because he has become very close with his stepbrothers and they get along really well. Well, God apparently has another plan for my husband and I because we recently just found out that we are expecting and the new baby will be here in November! (This just goes along with the saying...."want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!!! ha/ha). So again we sat my son down and told him that "the plan has changed"...LOL. Well, my son is beside himself excited and everyday when I pick him up from school he talks about how he can't wait until the new baby gets here. We've talked quite a bit about how things will change, what we might name the baby, etc. So, to finally get to my question....because my son lives with us full time and his life will be the most effected by this...I would really like to think of something cool and sentimental to do for him to commemorate the new baby coming. Maybe a small gift of some kind (either bought or handmade) that would be special to him. I am torn between doing something from just me (because it was just my son and I for 7 years before my husband and I got married). Or do I make it from my husband and I, or maybe something from the baby? I also would like your input on... if I do something for my son should I do something for husband's children as well? They are awesome kids and I love them dearly and would never want them to feel left out, but the "special gift" idea for my son came about because he has for so long prayed for a sibling (while my stepchildren of course have each other already). Although my husband's children are excited and happy about the baby...well, my son literally has the days counted down on the calendar until the new baby gets here!!!...LOL. I don't know, but I knew this would be the place to come, because I have read so many great ideas on this website and I read it everyday. Thank you in advance for your input and I will keep you posted.
Here is a fun idea for all the children.
Get some plain onesies and T-shirts.
Let each child use fabric paints to decorate a onesie for the baby and a T-shirt for him/herself with a "sibling" theme.
Like "Big Sister/Brother"
"Little Brother/Sister"
"I (heart) You"
"(name)'s Little Brotjer/Sister"
handprints, potato prints, or other print designs etc.
L.,
I bought something special from the "baby" for my older daughter. My older daughter also got a "big sister" t-shirt................
Hope this helps.
Sue
I think you can go beyond that. Have HIM help with setting up the baby's room, etc and let him have a "special project". EVERY TIME he goes into that room, he'll remember that he did it, waiting for the baby to come and an answer to prayer. He can tell his sibling about it when he/she gets older.
He could help make an album for her, both PRE-birth (getting ready - pics of buying this or that, getting the room ready) AND after. Something he/she can keep FOREVER.
A nice gift might be something (whether from you, you & your husband OR the baby OR....ALL OF THE ABOVE....something that says, "Awesome brother" or something of that nature. Maybe "BEST" might not be the best choice of words since there are other siblings.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I made my older daughter a T-Shirt for her. She saw an iron-on of a cat with the word purrfect and she wanted that, so I combined that with some iron-on letters and it said Purrfect Big Sister with the cat. She loved it!
A fun idea would be tee shirts made for each boy. The oldest can say "I'm the older brother of 4" The second oldest can say "I'm the older brother of 3" and continue counting down to your son, who is the older brother of 1. Or would this annoy your husbands ex? Since your son and the others are so excited though, a gift really isn't necessary. You should practice with him at home with a doll on how to hold the baby and let him hold him in the hospital, sitting down of course. Wait! What would be good and create a lasting memory and keepsake is to have a picture taken at the hospital or at home with each boy taking their turn at holding the baby while the other brothers are standing and sitting with them. This lets each one be the center of attention in their own picture and still reflects the loven and unity of the group. You can include a nice picture frame too. They can keep them in their room at your house or can take them home if their mother doesn't mind. My parents had pictures taken of us with our youngest sister and we still love them.
Hi L., my daughter and i were talking about this and we think that yu shouldnt give yur son anything or other children.hes already happy so make him feel like he needs to help his new sibling.its all about the new baby now .it would be nice for yu to take son to buy a small gift , let him pick it out for the new one. Best of luck M.
Hi L.. I don't have any creative ideas that are better than the great advice you've already been given.. (I love the disposable camera/photo album idea... or a scrapbook they older kids could make) but I just wanted to say congratulations! My husband and I have a "yours-mine-ours" family... he has 2 girls from his prev. marriage (12,and 9) and I have 3 boys from a prev. marriage (11, 9, and 9) ~ and now we have a gorgeous 16 month old son together. I just want to tell you that all 5 of our older children are absolutely IN LOVE with their baby brother... he's like the common bond that we all have! Our little guy was not planned... was on on the pill when I became pregnant... but he has been nothing but a blessing to every member of our family. Congratulation on your upcoming blessing!
I would have it as a gift from the new baby to his or her siblings. I would do it for all four. Nothing worse tham to hurt a chold by leaving them out of something. They never forget.
CONGRATS to you and you husband!!! How exciting for all of you. I like the idea of a gift for your son. I think you should give him something homemade and maybe make something just like it for the baby too. That way it's something special that your son and his new brother or sister can share. Or even if you get him something get something like it for the baby. There are lots of things you can do. Maybe something with a picture of them on it. Just a suggestion! Good Luck!
M.
I definitely think that the gift, whatever it may be, needs to be from you & your husband. For two reasons; your new baby is something that you & your husband created together, and is part of the two of you. And also because although it was just you & your son for seven years, you shouldn't live in the past. Instead, focus more on the future and your new life together as a family. One family, where all children are equal. Which means getting something special to commemorate this glorious arrival for his kids as well. That's not to say you can't get your son something a little Extra special! I really hope this helps you!
Hi L., congrats on the new baby! I like the idea of giving all the siblings a gift from the new baby. Maybe you could give them each a disposable camera and a photo album and tell them that they can create their own album of their new brother or sister when he/she arrives? I think that your son will love it and it will be nice to re-enforce the idea that they are ALL brothers and sisters to eachother. This new baby bonds your husbands kids and your son together too. They will all share a blood related sibling! Giving them all a gift together might also make your son realize that he is not just gaining one new sibling but has already gained 3! Good luck & God Bless- T.
I have a 9 yr old son and a 20 mo. old so I know about the years between and such. My son really wanted to do something to prepare for the birth of his brother. The bedroom that we did for our little one is yellow and I had abc's and 123 painted in a line around the room. Like 2 4 B D F
1 3 5 A C E G. Close to that design anyway. These were painted in alternating colors of red, blue, and green with craft paint. After it was all done, my oldest used the paints and made a painting on the wall for his brother. It is dated and signed. He painted a flower. I see that flower evertime I walk in there.
Also, for your oldest. I don't know how he is about telling you his issues but recently mine came to me and asked for a date, just the 2 of us. So, we set up a date to go bowling and out to dinner. His daddy just took him out today. They went out to eat, shopping, and to a movie. I think my husband makes a better date for my son than he does for me, haha. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you think about that in the near future. He will be wanting some alone time and I wasn't sure if he would mention it to you or act out or what. I hope this helps with what you are wanting. For a while, he will probably just want to be helpful. I hope it lasts for you, it didn't for me. Shannon G.
The best thing you can do for your son is that when the baby is here, still spend even just a half hour to one hour a week with just your son!!!!!! He may not think he needs that, but I think it would be of benenfit to him for one on one time with just you.
Maybe even with your husband's other children as well.
Rather than any gift for your son, I suggest since he is excited and happy about the baby, that he make something for the baby. Maybe like a memory type book that he could tell the new baby all about himself and your lives before and after your husband.
Your son will probably be a great help at filling out the new baby's book too. That could be part of one of his jobs.
You are so lucky that your son is excited, and the siblings are young enough to be at home yet also.
Dear L.,
If I was in your situation, I'd make a photo album for my son.
I would title it A Family Is A Growing Thing
Put in a couple photos of him when he was a baby especially you two together. Then add photos of his blended family. Take the time to write a caption for each photo. Next a photo of you with a pregnant belly. ( your son can be in or out of photo) and last a picture of your son holding his new sibling. Oh and be sure to have a family portrait of you and your 5 children.
God bless you and congratulations on having a great family.
L.
Hi L.
There are some good ideas here. When my daughter was born I started a journal for her. I did that for 16 years! Maybe all your children could write to the new baby about how they feel about her arrival. They could keep a "journal" of sorts. To do that would mean they would always be involved with her care and will be close and protective of her. I agree that each of the other children will need their own one-on-one special time at least once a week so they will also feel special. Congrats on new baby! Don't ya just love it when God laughs at our plans! LOL
L. D.
Well I just had a baby feb 8th 2008 and my son was 7 1/2 and overjoyed talking to my belly telling him to come out.. What we did was let him help with the room...and let him buy the baby something little with his own money. (he got him one of those push things with the popping balls in it for a dollar at a kids resale). and when I had the baby we had a gift cert for toys r us packed in the bag from the baby and handed it to him. he was sooo excited. Hes still wonderful with him... changed diapers and plays with him alot and hes 3 months old now... any other thoughts just ask me :)
~M. Mommy to Darien 10-27-00 and T.J. 2-8-08 and Momma shell 4-16-06
Dear L.,
I appreciate your sharing because it reflects a "happy" problem in a blended family situation that apparently is more than satisfactory. We need to hear the "good" stories too.
My suggestion: Have a family session when all the children are over and ask each child to write down their "blessings" for the baby that's on the way. You might give some preliminary phrases to get them started like: "I want my baby (bro or sis) to be........." or "I want him or her to have........" Then have them write what (talent/resource/game/experience) each would be willing to share with the baby. Take these blessings and commitments and put them on some kind of certificate or document that you will keep and bring out much later after the baby is born. In this way, you create a special family ritual that includes everyone. Finally, you could ask each child to list one special thing they would like to do/have before the baby is born. You could make this exercise intersting by asking each child to write down their special request privately so that the others don't know what each requests. Once you and your husband know the children's desires, you can decide if you can accommodate them. Looking forward to hearing how this turns out. Krsna D.
Okay, first, I think that if you do for one you need to do for all. It wouldn't be fair for your son to receive a special "gift" and not the others. Second, when I had my son, we bought a bracelet for our daughter and had it engraved. On one side it said "Big Sister" and on the other it said "Love, Garrett". It is now five years later and she loves it. She wears it all the time. I would make the gift from the new baby. I hope this helps.
