Warming Breast Milk & Breastfeeding in Public

Updated on April 25, 2008
N.O. asks from Rowlett, TX
15 answers

I have a 3 week old baby who has been strictly breast fed and does great.
I've never tried a bottle but I have some stored frozen breast milk that I would like to try and give him if we go out in public and I have to feed.

My question is, do you just let the milk thaw out or do you heat it before feeding it to them?
How long after you take it out of the freezer can it stay good?
If I missed any info you'd like to give me, please do so.

Also, I just can't find myself to be comfortable breastfeeding in public like I see other women doing. I'm even avoiding certain situations just so I don't have to feed in public. I'm very comfortable around my family but as far as strangers, I just can't do it and will have to go to the car if the baby is hungry.
How do you let yourself be comfortable nursing in public or is it better to be private as much as you can?

thank you all in advance for any help!

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K.T.

answers from Lubbock on

Hey N.:)
As far as thawing, here's what I went by: best to thaw in warm/hot water (running water does it faster), never boil, never microwave. You should use thawed milk within 24 hours, and you should not re-freeze.

As far as nursing in public, I think we should be considerate of others as best we can. Going to the car or planning your outings around feeding times is just fine. I think there was only one or two times I had to nurse in public (not counting airplanes), and honestly, I don't think anyone even knew! Once, I actally just stayed standing up and held the baby horizontally. My shirt covered the top, and my arms covered my exposed belly. I just looked like I was rocking her. Obviously, I tried to find a corner of the store where no one was around. For me, there was just the moment of latching on, that was kind of dicey, but it goes quick, and you get better. Practice at home when you can. Mostly though, I think when it just has to be done, you'll soon adopt the attitude of "Just get over it, people!"

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

I was very shy about breastfeeding in public, too, at the beginning. To make it less revealing I cut holes in an old tank top & wore it under my shirt, so I could pull up my top & not be exposed anywhere else. That helped, but I was still nervous about the blankie covering us falling down, or my baby kicking it up & my boob hanging there for the world to see. Then a lovely lady approached me as I was trying to nurse discreetly while having lunch with my husband and told me about Hooter Hiders. Fantastic! Get one!

http://www.bebeaulait.com/

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I had no luck pumping, so can't answer your first question, but I nursed both sons for over 2 years each. So, I can easily answer your second. It takes a little while to get comfortable nursing in public. But, I found that many people didn't even realize I was nursing. I also never found anyone to be offended - indeed, I got many compliments on not having fussy children (because i would nurse when they needed to) and had many mothers encourage me and tell me how they fondly remembered nursing their own children (the one time I remember most is when we were touring Luray caverns in Virginia - I was nursing my son as we walked around). You can practice at home in front of a mirror to make yourself more confident that folks can't see much. I even nursed sitting in the front row at church on the day my son was baptized. My experience was that most people are far less offended by a breastfeeding baby than they are a screaming child.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I never took breast milk with me when I was out and about with my daughter because I thought it sort of defeated the convenience of nursing. My frozen milk was mainly for when I had to leave her with my husband or mom. Because of that, I nursed a lot while out and about. I have to agree with a lot of the moms about finding places to do it. We frequently nursed in the car or in fitting rooms. I don't think it is a problem if you aren't comfortable doing it at a store or restaurant. I always liked the moments of alone time it gave me with my daughter. They grow up so fast and will let you cuddle them for only so long. Enjoy it while you can! My 13.5 month old now is way too busy exploring to let me hold her all the time.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

N.,
to thaw out breastmilk just put it in a mug of warm water. my husband will bring the water to boiling in the microwave and then put in the milk. the milk is only good for 24 hours after its thawed. I would encourage you to find a nursing shawl or cover. I found one at "mother's gift" at presby plano. I've also used a blanket to cover us up. I do nurse my son (9 months) in the car alot because he's so easily distracted. There's alot of places in the malls to breastfeed. a popular place is at nordstroms. I'm not comfortable nursing my son in the public restroom just b/c I don't eat in the bathroom so why should he? I have found that most people are very accepting of breastfeeding in public. There are ways to be very discreet and most people really don't pay you any attention. I've also heard of some people using the slings to breastfeed. I'm not quite that talented!lol! good luck to you, keep trying and you'll figure out what works best for you and your new little one

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I am sure you will get both sides to this one...

I breastfed both of my children ages 13 & 2, and for me it wasn't that I was uncomfortable in public, I just prefer more privacy where I can feel relaxed and not feel like an exhibitionist, especially since a blanket can get yanked or slip down.

While at soccer for my son, I didn't sit in the bleachers to bf, I sat in my chair along the line of the chairs and that was fine.

Shopping at the mall or such, a quiet corner to sit, a place down from everyone, or a place where you aren't facing everyone is great or if you happen to be near a dressing room, go for it. I would go to my car before I used a restroom though, even if it had a chair.

When at home I don't care where at all and no blanket unless company came by. When company came over, I either went to another room or just spun my recliner around depending on who it was. My inlaws stayed alot and it just wasn't convenient to move every feeding for a week or two or three, which I actually did with my first, so, I just turned my rocker recliner around whichever direction my fil wasn't. If in front of my Mom, or sisters, or friends, I just cover up if my shirt needs help, and that is fine with me. I grew up where we all went to the bathroom if someone went so I don't care if they happen to get flashed. LOL

Hope this gives you some ideas!

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

Several of the newer shopping malls in the Dallas area have breastfeeding rooms near the family bathrooms. I would also nurse in my car for more privacy. With my 2nd baby, I used a sling alot and found it very easy to nurse in without being noticed....wearing a nice nursing shirt really helps with the public feedings too; they're designed to allow you to nurse without showing any skin! You just have to find your own comfort zone and do what you can.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there, I think if you pump and breastfeed while in public your milk supply will go down some. I breastfeed too and what I do is go into the restroom if I'm in a restaurant or at a store go into a dressing room, I have also gone to my car to breastfeed. Not that I'm trying to hide but I'm not comfortable just putting myself out there. My baby is almost 6 months and it has worked for me. Also, if you defrost milk you can run it under cold water and warm it up in a bottle warmer but you cannot put it in the microwave. It is only good for one day after you defrost it. Good luck and I hope this helps.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

I breastfed my first for 10 1/2 months and my second for 14 months. I found that it was often awkward to breastfeed in public when they were very small, but as they got older it was much easier because they could have latched on from across the room - they LOVED breastfeeding! If I went shopping, I would go to malls that had a Nordstrom - they have great mother's rooms with comfy couches to breast feed in and are very clean. I NEVER fed in a bathroom - EVER - Yuck! I am a bit of a germ freak! I breast fed in the car if there was no discreet way to nurse where I was. If I went to a restaurant or somewhere I would just find the most discreet position to feed and go for it. As far as thawing breast milk is concerned, I found that the best way to thaw breast milk was to defrost it in the fridge over night and then warm in a cup of hot water when it was time to use it. There were certainly times of emergency where we had to thaw it in a cup of hot water, but it takes a VERY long time and was certainly not convenient. I had emergency surgery 4 weeks after my first son was born and was unprepared and had only frozen breast milk at the hospital with us and it took FOREVER to thaw that milk! I think the longer you nurse, the easier it gets to nurse in public. With my first, I only nursed in public when I needed to. With my second - he never took a bottle - I nursed everywhere and decided that people did one of two things - they stare at you like they would a car wreck or they do everything in their power to avoid looking remotely in my direction. I just stopped worrying about it with number 2. I am pregnant with my third and I am sure this time I will be even more comfortable. You are doing a great thing! Congrats on your newest bundle of joy!

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.,

I can't really give you any info about breast milk since I wasn't able to nurse my three children (they were turning yellow because my body just wouldn't produce hardly any milk). Anyway, as far as breastfeeding in public, I am so glad to see the other moms encourage and validate you in your modesty. I have seen many women nursing in public and thought it was great but there are three occasions I've experienced where I was completely mortified by women who were nursing in public. One was at a Taco Bell in FL where a woman's little boy who was at least three took a few bites of his lunch and then crawled up in his mom's lap where she proceeded to just completely expose her breast for him to take a few sips and then he returned to his taco. Another woman proceeded to sit on the floor of the soup isle at Walmart and "openly" feed her child - you could imagine how all of us who passed her were completely shocked at her immodesty. The last case was a woman at Six Flags who did the same thing on a bench as hundreds of people passed by getting way too good of a look at her boobs. Frankly, I don't want my husband or little boys as they get older looking at other women's breasts, even if it's in the natural and beautiful process of nursing. So, on behalf of all of the other people in public, thank you for being concerned with modesty :-)

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

I speed the thawing process by putting the frozen bag of milk in warm water. It only takes about 10 minutes or so for it to completely thaw. Plus, it's doesn't come out ice cold. As far as how long it's good for, I think it's 24 hours after it thaws? Sorry, I'm not sure about that, but I used to thaw the bags in the morning for my son to eat at daycare the same day. I'll be reaccquinted with all of this in about 5 months, when my 2nd son is due :)
As far as the breastfeeding in public goes, I quickly developed an attitude of "I don't care if it offends anybody!" I had a friend that was never comfortable doing it in public, but I just came to the conclusion that it was more important for my son to eat then it was for me to avoid glares. I found that I didn't receive a lot of negative feedback, either. Why don't you try one of those nursing covers and see if that helps? I breastfed for a year and I got to the point where I could pull down my shirt enought to not give everybody an eyeful :)

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I warmed frozen milk up by putting it in a glass and running warm water over it. If you are going to take the bottle with you when you go out you only have 4 hours to use it. You can go to La Leche and get all the information about storing your milk. I really did not like breastfeeding in public, but I could always find a place to go. With my daughter I would go out to the car and feed. Now with my second I just didn't care anymore it was harder to find a place to go with a newborn and a 16 month old. I would find a quiet place with not to many people and feed. You could also just bring formula with you when you go out to make things easier.

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I've never brought milk, just always nursed in public. I sometimes am very discreet, as in, no one has a clue i'm nursing. Then other times, people could walk by and probalby guess what I'm doing. I have a blanket to cover my belly , then a shirt to cover my boob. I make it very discreet so that no one sees anything, but I will nurse in public if I need to. I think you get more comfortable with it if you do it some AND if your dh is comfortable with it. I find that if my dh acts weird about it, i start feeling more self-conscious, which ANNOYS me! :-) I wish I didn't do that, but his opinion matters to me!

Anyway, odds are you can find some quiet place and nurse. Many places have nursing areas.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not much help with the frozen milk bottles. I rarely give them when we're out, and I always have refrigerated milk available anyway (I work and pump, and pumped for one bottle/day while I was on maternity leave too), so the few times I have given bottles, it was refrigerated milk.

For nursing in public, when my daughter was 3 weeks old, I never thought I'd be comfortable doing it. I got a Hooter Hider (see www.bebeaulait.com) when she was about 4 weeks old, and that helped tremendously. There are also knock-offs available on eBay for cheaper!

It's really only the latch time that's a little dicey. Once she's latched on, people can't really see anything. By the time she was about 3 months old, she had enough control over her body and had gotten good enough at feeding that she could latch quickly. At that point, I ditched the Hooter Hider -- it totally screams, "I'm nursing!" so it's actually MORE discreet to nurse without it.

When I know I'll need to nurse in public, I usually wear a nursing tank under a slightly baggy sweater/shirt. The nursing tank unfastens from up top, I pull up the shirt from the bottom, and you really can't see much at all.

I've never gotten a negative comment or even a negative glance. Even if I did, I figure hey, my daughter needs to eat. It's not like I'm trying to flash my breasts for everyone to see.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.,
I usually used bottles for when I was away or something. I would nurse when baby was with me. In public, I did eventually get very good at being discrete and feeling comfortable doing it in public (restaurants the shoe department of walmart, etc.) but it also depends on how natural the latch is and how the baby does. If the baby is up and down that would make it difficult, but if baby latches and stays for a while, it will get easier and you may find yourself more comfortable with it. Some places I found for nursing when I felt less comfortable was:
*my car/van
*dressing rooms
When at a restaurant I would ask to be seated in a booth and I would face which ever direction had the fewest people.

Something that also helped was for me to wear a nursing tank bra under my shirt (button down is great when you unbutton from bottom to mid-chest). The tank covered my belly while nursing so I did not feel like I was exposing skin.

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