Watching a Movie Sans Your Spouse

Updated on January 31, 2012
C.S. asks from San Diego, CA
27 answers

I have a few friends that would not go for a movie without their husbands. They are fine going spa, shopping etc etc but just not movies. While I enjoy going to movies with my hubby, sometimes I don't mind watching it with my girlfriends for a change or when he does not want to watch a particular movie. I have asked them the reason, but they have always evaded the topic. So much that they prefer not to watch the movie if hubby does not go with them even if they really want to. I do have a couple of other friends who don't mind joining without their husbands, but this behavior still baffles me. Anyone has any idea?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the replies. I know them well and I have high doubts their husbands would tell them not to go without them. In fact a couple of husbands have said that if the wife wants to go, they will take care of kids. We could watch a night show when kids were asleep and once husbands had planned to take kids out together so that kids can have a play date and we can watch a movie, but the lady backed out. Anyway, each to their own, I guess. I know sometimes my husband does not want to watch a movie or we cannot find a baby sitter and if I ask these friends, they will be like, is it rated? should we take kids and hubby? I don't mind going with a family if the movie is age appropriate for my daughter, but a lot of movies are not. Someone here mentioned about not getting out from the car and standing in line while hubby parks and Oh my God, one of friend is exactly like that.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

those are probably the same women who won't get out of the car and get in line while hubby parks at the movie theater. I don't understand it either. I went last weekend to a movie with hubby (we saw separate movies but drove together) he hates comedy likes action / gory scary stuff. And then on Sunday I went with my sister in law and 4 other friends. had a blast and he would have been bored out of his mind.

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P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

Wow, what would they think of me, then?Forget the movie, I used to take salsa classes without my husband when I was married! he didn't like it and I loved it, so neither of us minded. I do't see anything strange in watching movies (or doing any other activity) sans spouse if both agree on it.

3 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I 100% agree wtih Jo W.

I don't leave my kids with the husband to go to movies, except when the twilight movies come out my bff and I will sneak off to the late show (after the kids are in bed) because my husband is definitely NOT interested and he enjoys time to himself without me to do whatever he wants. Other than that, I don't ever leave him to do things with friends, I'd rather be with him. When I hang out with my friends, I include my husband. My husband IS my best friend, why would I want to be without him?

Don't get me wrong.... I realize how completely dependent I sound, and I appreciate independence from each other. My husband and I just don't desire that. We prefer the company of each other.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I think maybe they consider movies a date and can't imagine seeing the movie for its own sake -- rather than as a reason to be out with their husbands.

I love to see movies alone! If a friend can come, fine, but I am glad to go to a theatre by myself (usually during the day when I can arrange things that way) and really enjoy the experience.

If it's a movie we both want to see, but it's unlikely we would both get out together to see it, we "tag team" it and see it separately, preferably within a few days or a week of each other, so we can talk about it. I don't feel like both of us should miss a movie we want to see, or wait for a video release, just because we don't have a babysitter (which is nearly impossible for us).

Like you, I don't really get it when women won't go to the movies without thir husbands or friends. It's not like we're sitting there all chatting in the dark anyway -- the point is to watch the film, not socialize through it! So I'm happy to go alone but I do love talking about it with my husband later if possible!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm with you...that's odd. Some movies are good date movies, some are good to see with the kids, and some are for girlfriends. I can assure you that my husband was more than happy to not join me to see Sex and the City, Bridesmaids, Mama Mia, and The Help!

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

If it's something I know for sure we're both dying to see, I would not see it without him. He's the movie buff, I'm not, so that would bum him out. If it was something he honestly didn't care about, yes, I'd see it with my friends.

Now, if HE wanted to go see Avatar 2 or any of the stupid Twilight movies by himself, GO FOR IT, save me the misery!! ;)

Actually, now that I think about it, I rarely go to the movies anyway, I think the last movie I saw in theaters was Shrek the Third. Yikes. Time for date night!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

That's really strange to me! If I had a friend like that, I'm sure I would tell her I thought it was weird. My husband and I love to go to the movies, but there are some he doesn't care about seeing. I enjoy going alone and with friends! I can't imagine why a woman wouldn't want to go to a movie with some girl friends.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

How strange.

Maybe, their Husbands do not let them go to the movies by themselves or with girlfriends? Because otherwise, it seems they WOULD go, and as you said, they seem to "really want to." And they avoid answering why, when you asked them the reason.

I have never encountered that problem with my girlfriends.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's odd.
I'm sure there are movies I want to see that my husband doesn't give a rip about and I'm QUITE sure there are movies he would like that I wouldn't waste 2 hours watching. Soooo.....no, I don't get that. That's what girlfriends are for--chick flicks!!!

I also know of women that won't go clothes shopping without their husbands......hellllloooo? Last thing I want is my husband following me around Macy's! LOL

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

We LOVE movies! Movies are made to be seen in a theater. That giant screen! Seeing them on a TV is ok, but it is just never the same.

Have you ever seen the Sound of Music in a movie theater, Lawrence of Arabia, The Wizard of Oz? Have your children? Once you see it that way, the TV is inadequate. It will do in a pinch.. Take your children the next time it is shown on the big screen in your area..

We like them when they first come out, we like them when they are sneak peeks..

We go together, we go alone, we go with our own friends, we meet up with friends.. There have been times, I have told my husband to go with one of his friends because I do not want to see a particular movie.. There are times he has told me to go with a friend because he did not want to see a movie.

I have never understood why some couples cannot go out with out their spouses. Heck I go to the movies by myself sometimes and love doing that too, but I have heard women say they would never do this.. Why? You go to the grocery store, to the mall, to the library alone.. what is the difference?

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

If its a movie I want to see and he doesn't, he gets to stay home and I will go with or without someone. I can generally rope my daughter (23) to go with me! I have no problem doing something by myself if hubby doesn't want to.

I'm a rather independent person so I don't understand why someone wouldn't go do something they want to do. Just because you get married doesn't mean you stop being your own person.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I watch movies on TV without my wife, but I can't remember the last time I went out to a movie without my wife.

Seeing a movie in a threatre is date night stuff to me and the only date for me is my wife. I would not have been happy as Robinson Caruso.

If there is something she wants to see, I go with her. If there is something I want to see and she doesn't she goes with me. We both like sharing the popcorn ;~))

Good luck to you and yours.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I tolerate the expense of a movie for my kids and my husband! No one else! Now I will go with friends and their kids if all the kids want to see the movie but otherwise no! What movie could possibly be so exciting that you can't wait the two months till it comes out on disk?

The other thing is when I hang out with my friends I want to catch up, talk, not stare at a movie screen in silence. My husband on the other hand I talk to all the time so a little quiet isn't a big deal.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

If it's a movie that I know my husband would not see and I know my friends do then I go with friends. I went to see all the Twilight movies with friends. Some movies are just not as much fun to see with your spouse as they are to see with friends.

It is odd that they would not go with you and won't give you a reason.

ETA: To those that say you want to socialize and not just sit in a theater quietly. Any time I go we friends we make sure we get coffee or a meal afterwards so we can talk about the movie and socialize.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I do NOT watch the gory slice and dice movies. My hubby LOVES those things. So he generally goes to see them when he travels for business ... which is FINE by me LOL

I have no problem going to the movies with friends or alone if hubby doesn't want to go.

As for the cost and waiting to see it on the small screen ... sorry but some movies you just DO NOT get the full effect unless it's on that football field size screen :) This generally applies to action/adventure type movies the most, in my opinion. Think Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, Titanic, type movies. GREAT movies on the small screen ... EPIC movies on the big screen.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

If we go it's with our son to see some kid movie.

Normally he rather stay home.

After 25 years I know what he likes and doesn't like.

I go with one of my "movie friends" and I get what I want to see. I suffered thru MANY bad 'guy movies' when we were dating. I've done my 'time!' :)

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Some women will just never do anything without their husbands - it's weird to me too. My younger sister is like this, and they aren't even married!! She wouldn't get in a family picture because her fiance wasn't there, but let her daughter in it...it was weird to me. But whatever floats her boat!

I love to do things with my hubby, but will also do my own thing too.

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

No clue. I go see the occasional movie by myself. My husband is just really not into the "theater" experience. So on my Saturdays when I usually go write, I will occasionally take a break and see a movie. Next one I have in store is Hunger Games. Soooo excited about that one.

I could wait until it came out but then I have to deal with interruptions from my toddler, or keeping the volume down while she sleep, or letting the dog out, or the phone ringing....I think you get it. :)

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

FRIENDS??? what are those. If I want to see I go by myself. Besides going with my husband means I have to translate every darned thing that he doesnt understand and when its slang or bawdy I get really irritated. He has PERFECT English and thats the problem most American movies do NOT go by the correct English usage. LOL So its best I go alone if I want to enjoy. My friends hate my likes so we dont go together often. I did break down and was a wingman for a mom at pre-school who wanted to see the Twilight latest. her husband refused to take her and she didnt know anyone else. I boycott those foul movies, but I did break down to be her date. SO nice of me.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

That is so strange. I have never known anyone who felt this way. It will be interesting to read the responses.

I enjoy movies with my husband, but often go to the movies without him.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Maybe they just want to see the new movies w/ their spouse. If they'd seen it already with their husband would they go with friends then?

Updated

Maybe they just want to see the new movies w/ their spouse. If they'd seen it already with their husband would they go with friends then?

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe that is the only way they view a "date'. Seems odd to me.

As for me, if there were a movie I wanted to see, I would have no issue going with friends or alone. That said, we are not big movie buffs and it has been well over a year sice we have set foot in a movie theatre.

I prefer being social, catching up with friends, meeting people than being cooped in in a dark theatre watching a movie.

M.Q.

answers from Detroit on

I go to the movies w/& sometimes without my hubby, I go alone & sometimes w/girls from book club...on weekends for "me time" I will also take myself out to lunch & sit & read a book for awhile. I'm a SAHM & he knows I need my time :) No big deal.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

my husband loves to go to the movies. I do not. Especially if they are crowded. I want to relax and watch a movie and I do not feel the theatre is relaxing. my mom also loves to go to movies. My husband feels slighted if I go with my mom. When I go with my mom it is usually a chick flick but hubby would rather go to a chick flick with me than nothing else at all. So I personally do not like to go to movies without my husband because he loves them so much and it would be like cheating him out of the experience. For your friends maybe they are afraid you'll want to make out. Or thats just what they do with thier spouse at the movies.... haha

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

In my early years I never would of went to the movies by myself or out to eat for that matter. I probably still wouldn't want ti eat alone but a movie by myself sounds sooo nice! Heck, I wouldn't want anyone to go! Browsing the mall by myself sounds like a dream come true too!! Im for it and wouldn't miss him one dang bit!

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

If it was just me and him, I would feel odd in a theatre alone, but with friends or other family, no biggie. I've seen movies with my sisters-in-law while he and his brother saw others. I would have even see Beauty and the Beast with only my daughter if he had really wanted to see something else. There wasn't anything playing and she wanted him there with her.

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B.J.

answers from Rochester on

I do not go out to movies with out my hubby. My reason is 1. he works nights and I work days so if we get a rare chance to do something I want to do it with him and 2. money. We have money, just not a lot. So I guess I feel guilty if I am going to spend that much money on something I feel like he should be there and enjoy it with me. Anyway that is just my reasoning.

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